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specially shouldn't oink at them afterwards |
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Jul 4, 2018 19:15
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any sauce on a police officer belongs to the district they serve |
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Jul 4, 2018 19:17
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traffic cop pulls me over, asks for my license and registration. instead I hand him ketchup and golden mustard and sit there drooling |
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Jul 4, 2018 20:29
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policeman directing traffic looks confused as I place a 6ft sub bun around his body, complete with slices of american cheese and a generous amount of yellow mustard
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Jul 4, 2018 20:50
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Sometimes I enjoy my police officers with a dry rub.
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Jul 4, 2018 21:15
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Me: I do not consent to a search Officer (checkin’ out my sweet sauce interior): I do not consent to searching |
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Jul 5, 2018 12:37
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Officer: “Sir, step out of the car.” [Car door opens, releasing a flood of sauce onto the highway] |
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Jul 5, 2018 12:37
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im sorry officer i really thought the expression was "pigs fry" *drool* paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Jul 5, 2018 14:43
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The scene in Robocop where Officer Murphy's arm gets blasted with ketchup hosed me up as a kid. Now? It just gets me hungry 
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Jul 5, 2018 16:01
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me: officer thank you so much for participating in our charity dunk tank, it means so much to us. there's one thing you should know . . .  yes?me: the tank won't be filled with water, it will be filled with *mumbles* sorry I didn't get thatme: ranch |
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Jul 5, 2018 16:07
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guys GUYS we've finally found the answer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJZRYrCJLus |
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Jul 5, 2018 17:54
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*Silhouette of an unusually small house with smoke billowing out of the roof* Me sobbing hysterically: Officer help! My house is burning down and my dog didn't make it out! He's still in there! Don't you see the smoke??! Please save him! Officer: Stand back! I'm going to kick the door open! Me: No just open it you don't need to... *Officer kicks the door which causes the entire facade to fall foward revealing an open industrial sized hog smoker on the other side* Officer: Uhh I don't think I should be here, I'm just gonna get in my car and... Me: No please, stay, my dog... he's inside there... can't you hear him screaming? He needs you. Please... *mouth watering* I need you. |
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Jul 5, 2018 18:45
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HaveARottenDay posted:*Silhouette of an unusually small house with smoke billowing out of the roof* lol |
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Jul 5, 2018 19:03
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HaveARottenDay posted:*Silhouette of an unusually small house with smoke billowing out of the roof* |
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Jul 5, 2018 19:38
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google THIS posted:guys lol police officer: "do you know why i pulled you over sir?" me: "wait.. wait one sec" *digging through packages of rolls* "i've got some really big potato rolls here somewhere..." police officer: "sir! please stop moving and place your hands outside the window!" PUT DOWN THE GUN, PUT DOWN THE... is that BBQ sauce!?"
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Jul 5, 2018 20:49
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One of those cartoon scenes where two characters are stuck on a life raft in the middle of the ocean imagining each other as food and plotting to eat each other except it's me and a cop and I'm imagining him as a juicy pulled pork sandwich with vinegar slaw, and also we're not on a life raft or anything, we're just hanging out, and in fact I just had breakfast but hey, it's never too early to plan for lunch. |
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Jul 6, 2018 01:48
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"hey man its really sunny out here you should put some sun screen on. what? yeah i keep it in that kc masterpiece bbq sauce bottle, trust me it's good stuff."
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Jul 6, 2018 02:04
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google THIS posted:One of those cartoon scenes where two characters are stuck on a life raft in the middle of the ocean imagining each other as food and plotting to eat each other except it's me and a cop and I'm imagining him as a juicy pulled pork sandwich with vinegar slaw, and also we're not on a life raft or anything, we're just hanging out, and in fact I just had breakfast but hey, it's never too early to plan for lunch. |
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Jul 6, 2018 05:57
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floating toward the luring scent of pie on a windowsill except the pie is a police officer spinning a night stick |
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Jul 6, 2018 05:57
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Macnult posted:floating toward the luring scent of pie on a windowsill except the pie is a police officer spinning a night stick
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Jul 6, 2018 12:15
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Blue Lives Clatter. On my plate, once I'm done sucking on the bones. |
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Jul 7, 2018 01:21
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Me: (calls a pizza place) Hi, can I get a large pepperoni pizza delivered? Pizza guy: Yeah, but we're a little backed up right now. Probably won't be there for 45 minutes. Me: OK, never mind. (hangs up, calls 911) hi, I think there's someone prowling outside my house. 911 operator: OK sir, stay inside, lock the doors, and remain calm. We will have an officer there within 10 minutes. Me: Perfect. |
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Jul 7, 2018 01:40
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google THIS posted:Me: (calls a pizza place) Hi, can I get a large pepperoni pizza delivered? |
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Jul 7, 2018 01:57
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Me and a police officer stuck on a desert island. We've barely been there ten minutes before he turns into a suckling pig on a platter. I rub my eyes in disbelief as I gape and drool at the delicious sight.
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Jul 7, 2018 02:15
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google THIS posted:Blue Lives Clatter. On my plate, once I'm done sucking on the bones. |
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Jul 7, 2018 02:26
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Setting up an apple bobbing contest right next to a police station |
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Jul 7, 2018 02:27
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Applewhite posted:Me and a police officer stuck on a desert island. We've barely been there ten minutes before he turns into a suckling pig on a platter. I rub my eyes in disbelief as I gape and drool at the delicious sight. I can't believe that island broke the illusion. ---------------- |
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Jul 7, 2018 04:06
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setting up a trapping hole with sharp sticks pointing up from the ground, covering it with leaves, carefully. i call 911 and i wait
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Jul 7, 2018 05:39
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Luvcow posted:"hey man its really sunny out here you should put some sun screen on. what? yeah i keep it in that kc masterpiece bbq sauce bottle, trust me it's good stuff."
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Jul 8, 2018 04:48
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y'know what I could go for? a cop with capicola a sheriff with salami a highway patrolperson with pastrami a forestry serviceperson with steak a federal marshal with mortadella a national guardsperson with genoa ham
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Jul 9, 2018 06:23
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MockingQuantum posted:y'know what I could go for? |
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Jul 9, 2018 07:49
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reverse rubbernecking because police sirens make you salivate like crazy |
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Jul 9, 2018 07:51
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officer: alrighty there large ears, you been drinking or taking anything tonight? me: no, sir officer: huh, your eyes are looking rather large me: all the better to see you with, sir officer: *gulps* and... y-your teeth |
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Jul 9, 2018 07:57
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Sir, can you please hand me your bacon, license, and tomatoes?
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Jul 9, 2018 13:15
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But I did not eat the *burp* deputy. |
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Jul 9, 2018 14:04
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 10:44 |
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Dr. Yinz Ljubljana posted:setting up a trapping hole with sharp sticks pointing up from the ground, covering it with leaves, carefully. i like this reverse swatting that ends with delicious food |
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Jul 29, 2018 20:28
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