TSLA: When this baby hits 88 you're going to see some serious shit

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > TSLA: When this baby hits 88 you're going to see some serious shit

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FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

antikythera mechanism restoration looking good

# ¿ Dec 5, 2018 23:59

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 01:33

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

exploded mummy posted:

hannibal never sieged rome

he just kind of realized he couldn't do it and spent time just being an rear end in a top hat in the countryside as rome ignored him, until they killed his brother and got him recalled

cant blame him, italian countryside is p nice

# ¿ Dec 6, 2018 20:58

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Endless Mike posted:

tired: water in the trunk

wired: water in the trunk lid

root cause: water in the brain (of anyone dumb enough to buy a m3)

# ¿ Dec 12, 2018 20:44

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

henry loving kissinger has a nobel peace prize

# ¿ Dec 13, 2018 05:27

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

lol he literally took all their cash and spent it on building his magic robot superfactory. billions of dollars poured into robot assembly lines that dont work, and completely tearing up the conventional production plan for the model 3 that his execs with auto industry experience had put together. those execs got so pissed they left and now theres no one at tesla with any experience building cars at scale

jesus. in the middle of ramping up to build your critical bet-the-company mass model car (that youve already presold 200 thousand of! you just need to buckle down and make them in a semi-timely manner!) he decides to completely redo his production line as something no other car company has successfully managed to do

incredible

quote:

At work, Musk sometimes seemed almost giddy, occasionally interrupting meetings to insist that his colleagues watch clips of Monty Python episodes on his computer, according to several people. A particular favorite was a skit of aristocrats debating the virtues of words like antelope versus sausage. He would play it more than once, laughing uproariously each time, as his colleagues waited to return to the issues at hand.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2018 21:45

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Chris Knight posted:

oh, they don't repair things

ill bet they dont move particularly fast either

# ¿ Dec 15, 2018 05:02

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

if we're going down this path we might as well skip to the end and say "the government would abolish private automobile ownership altogether"

this but all private property

# ¿ Dec 18, 2018 19:03

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

gschmidl posted:

I just looked at the tweet above your post and it's more like 8" on each side.

ive noticed that is a recurring theme in all of musks "designs" - that safety margins and tolerances and rated specs are for losers and cowards

# ¿ Dec 19, 2018 18:20

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

infernal machines posted:

if only we had spent the last century and a half learning what you can't put in concrete so that it doesn't end up half-melted swiss cheese.

the last two and a half millenia (classical rome had really kickass concrete)

# ¿ Dec 19, 2018 20:42

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

indigi posted:

I honestly don't understand why anyone gives it any credence at all. it's creative writing masquerading as a science

are you suggesting that "women like the color pink because their eyes evolved to notice and prize berries when they were the gatherer half of hunter-gatherer civilizations" isn't a rock-solid unassailable scientific fact?

FMguru fucked around with this message at 20:07 on Jan 2, 2019

# ¿ Jan 2, 2019 19:51

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

mystes posted:

Is that a real evolutionary psychology claim? It's pretty weird considering that pink was considered a manly color in the recent past.

its why the "biotruths" thread tag on these here forums has glowing pink berries in the background (e: see above; thanks hph)

FMguru fucked around with this message at 20:06 on Jan 2, 2019

# ¿ Jan 2, 2019 20:04

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

SENSUAL DAD KISS posted:

a righteous probation

harsh but fair

re-elect judge graph

# ¿ Jan 5, 2019 00:57

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

iospace posted:

Something something "your mom's dildo" https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1081576707365064704

"our spaceship will look like this, except different"

thanks elon, very informative

# ¿ Jan 6, 2019 01:19

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Captain Foo posted:

I read bad blood today

2018 yospos book of the year, hands down

# ¿ Jan 7, 2019 05:17

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

ol qwerty bastard posted:

anyone remember that movie where Billy Bob Thornton made a spaceship in his barn out of grain silo parts

there was a tv show called "salvage one" which lasted a single season in 1979-80

it featured a scrapyard owner played by andy griffith who built his own rocketship out of junk from his yard, with dreams of salvaging all the dead satellites and moon landers

he lives and works in his junkyard and has adventures with his homemade moon rocket

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mR-gz9EFO8

the 1970s were a loving trip, man

# ¿ Jan 10, 2019 04:31

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

ol qwerty bastard posted:

anyone remember that movie where Billy Bob Thornton made a spaceship in his barn out of grain silo parts

that was james cromwell and he invented the warp drive

# ¿ Jan 10, 2019 04:54

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

hobbesmaster posted:

its fun that everyone in sales and marketing has the title manager

check out banking, where every employee above the level of "teller" has a vp in their title

# ¿ Jan 10, 2019 20:56

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Shame Boy posted:

really? i always thought it was so the customer thinks "oh man I'm so important my tiddy loving investments are being managed by the vice president of tiddy loving!"

no there are certain classes of financial transaction that by law have to be approved by someone at the vp level or above

solution: make everyone a vp

# ¿ Jan 10, 2019 21:11

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Endless Mike posted:

at least ms gives their beta tested in the future os for free

still overpriced

# ¿ Jan 14, 2019 01:31

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

qirex posted:

one of the valley stereotypes I saw a lot at tech companies was "nerdy guy who secretly hates having a family" who would just be at work like 12 hours a day because they're SO BUSY all the time

i had an older coworker who would stay late every day playing windows solitaire

that was not a happy home, im guessing

# ¿ Jan 16, 2019 20:05

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

qirex posted:

just tell them sure but they have to listen to your demo first then put on a 30 minute ambient song

same except treat me ~~bad~~ mean i need the reputation

FMguru fucked around with this message at 20:31 on Jan 16, 2019

# ¿ Jan 16, 2019 20:09

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

widespread adoption of EVs would only make this worse - both lessening the impact of long commutes as well as undermining the motivation to build more transit

that goes double for autonomous vehicles (assuming those arrive in less than geologic time)

# ¿ Jan 21, 2019 19:31

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Last Chance posted:

Orville�s real good

NIXON: jesus christ

# ¿ Jan 27, 2019 18:47

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Combat Theory posted:

Practically all concept cars these days are hideous.

E: aerodynamics aren't as important for driving resistance at commons speeds as rolling resistance and no one talks about that because it's directly proportional to vehicle mass and all new cars and especially battery electric ones are fat as gently caress.

dont sign your post

# ¿ Jan 29, 2019 17:17

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

iospace posted:

Yup. Had they actually focused on the drivetrain and licensing it out to other companies, they would likely have succeeded. Meanwhile, a Croatian company did just that and is thriving as a supplier of hybrid systems for supercar companies.

if tesla had focused on just using their drivetrain and battery to build cars theyd be crusing towards success. but no they had to gild the lily with falcon wing doors, handles that sense when a hand is nearby, and trying to build a 100% robotic assembly line, instead of just concentrating on getting well-built electric cars out the door in volume

they had a huge lead and theyve largely pissed in away

# ¿ Feb 11, 2019 18:44

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

President Beep posted:

any car i drive is a smart car.

smarter than the person driving it, yes

# ¿ Feb 14, 2019 16:30

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

lol who could possibly have guessed that a car assembled during a monthlong round-the-clock crunch in order to hit an arbitrary production target, done in a outdoor tent by underpaid contract workers, would have hilarious fit and finish issues?

# ¿ Feb 14, 2019 22:16

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

evil_bunnY posted:

New cars are such horrendous value TBH

they always have been. gently caress buying an asset that loses 20% of its value the moment you drive it off the lot

# ¿ Feb 22, 2019 18:08

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Truga posted:

yeah, my point is more that it's expensive at the moment. however, fracking appears to have hit issues in usa despite being subsidized, so expect to see prices start to rise again as output starts falling.

iirc fracking wells turned out to run dry much more quickly than advertised/predicted/projected, which is really doing a number on the economics of fracking

# ¿ Feb 22, 2019 20:01

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

El Mero Mero posted:

im the increase in biomasse

please work out

# ¿ Feb 23, 2019 19:56

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Shame Boy posted:

that reminds me, someone's been scoping out all the cars in my apartment complex that forget to lock their doors periodically (including mine every once and a while cuz im a dumbass). i can tell because they leave the goddamn sunglasses holder open, presumably checking to see if the keys are in there. i never ever open that thing and neither does my wife so it's pretty obvious when someone else has been in the car. they've never stolen anything from me because i don't leave stuff in my car, but other people have had stuff stolen from their cars and one guy had their car stolen entirely.

the cops' plan to deal with this was announced last week: do random inspections where they try to break into your car at night, then leave you a note if you've left your car unlocked or if you've left any valuables visible.

thanks guys

police will never help you

# ¿ Feb 25, 2019 17:36

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

lancemantis posted:

so are there actually any automotive people involved at tesla, or were there at some point? outside of like the mazda designer guy that continues to make teslas look like old mazdas in a bootleg-y not-actually-a-mazda fashion?

because the company feels like its something slapped together by electronics engineers, who are honestly just computer touchers like any other except they can use a multi-meter and logic analyzer and have a deeper understanding of physical hardware while writing worse software

the people in charge of the model 3 were auto industry execs with deep experience. they put together a production plan that would have been tight, but achievable (in terms of ramping up and quality control and smoothing supply bottlenecks and all the other things that go in to a complicated and integrated industrial engineering plan) and were in the process of rearranging things in the fremont factory when musk suddenly barged in and said they were going to switch to an all-robot assembly line and that they could make ten times as many cars if they just overclocked all the robots 10x

they left the company shortly afterwards

# ¿ Feb 25, 2019 23:15

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

infernal machines posted:

there's one from december showing driving in the rain, mostly it's fine but every once in a while a drop takes too long to cross the primary camera's fov and the system isn't sure if the world exists any more for a split second

extremely relatable

# ¿ Mar 6, 2019 05:52

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

quote:

Uber escapes criminal charges for 2018 self-driving death in Arizona

The driver of the Uber vehicle could still face criminal charges.

A prosecutor in Arizona has decided not to press charges against Uber in the March 2018 death of Elaine Herzberg. One of Uber's self-driving cars crashed into Herzberg as she crossed a multi-lane road in Tempe, Arizona.

"After a very thorough review of all evidence presented, this office has determined that there is no basis for criminal liability for the Uber corporation," wrote Yavapai County Attorney Sheila Sullivan Polk in a letter dated Monday.

Tempe is in Maricopa County, not Yavapai County. But Maricopa County once collaborated with Uber on a public safety campaign. So prosecutors referred the case to Yavapai County to avoid any potential for a conflict of interest.

While Uber appears to be off the hook, Uber driver Rafael Vasquez could still face criminal charges. Dashcam video showed Vasquez repeatedly looking down at her lap in the final minutes before the crash�including five agonizing seconds just before her car struck Herzberg. Records obtained from Hulu suggest that Vazquez was streaming the television show The Voice just before the fatal crash.

https://arstechnica.com/cars/2019/03/arizona-prosecutor-wont-charge-uber-for-2018-self-driving-death/

lol they mustve written a big check to the reelect sheila sullivan polk reelection committee

feel a little bad for the driver who is going to have the entire weight of this land between her $12/hour contract shoulder blades as the designated scapegoat

# ¿ Mar 6, 2019 06:03

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

infernal machines posted:

it was dumb as poo poo, but also 100% effective on the "i loving love science" crowd that knows poo poo about dick and didn't read past "open patents"

he is selflessly trying to save the world, you ungrateful luddite!

# ¿ Mar 6, 2019 17:55

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

frank lloyd wright drew up plans for a new az capitol building

but they decided to go with something dumb and boring looking instead

# ¿ Mar 8, 2019 19:01

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

gonna need some serious window glazing for all that sun

although it looks like it's open at the base, and if he's got an aperture or something in that feature up top then you'd be generating a continuous current of air like a big solar chimney which might've been his intention

e: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_chimney

it is open at the base, someone built a model from his sketches and blueprints

# ¿ Mar 8, 2019 22:37

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

infernal machines posted:

i gotta say though, if you're gonna build some bullshit out in the middle of the desert, you might as well get as sci-fi looking as you can with it.

seriously

if theyd built wrights capitol building theyd have a bone fide globally recognized work of architecture in their city, and people would come from all over to look at it and walk around inside it

but no they decided to build yet another boring with with some neoclassical styling on the front side

a real missed opportunity (but entirely on brand for arizonas dumb cheap blinkered approach to state government)

# ¿ Mar 8, 2019 23:17

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

�what is truth?� retorted pilate

# ¿ Mar 12, 2019 21:34

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 01:33

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
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lol at elon trying to walk back his snap announcement that he was firing every single tesla store employee

lots of loyalty and giving 110% effort from your retail salesforce that youre provably looking to entirely eliminate

any salespeople with any skill or commitment or prospects is no doubt actively searching for their next job

# ¿ Mar 27, 2019 20:37

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > TSLA: When this baby hits 88 you're going to see some serious shit

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