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hi guys it's me elon just want to check in to see how you're doing with the new device I told you I had a dream about a month ago where you stick a child into a hamsterball and have them run as fast as they can while pumping predator growls and men shouting threats into the ball on a loud speaker to terrify them to run faster so we can then harvest their adrenal secretions to make a vaccine against stress
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Jul 9, 2018 13:59
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guys I know you may be worried about the Child Fear Orb might infringe on some of peter thiel's patents but don't worry I called him and make sure and he doesn't hold any rights to hormone-based child technologies, only patents on the blood and lymph of children and teens, so we're cool to keep working on the Stress Ball, which is my new name for it
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Jul 9, 2018 14:04
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hey guys, update on the Terror Sphere, I was thinking actually how about we can call it Triangle because it's a joke because triangles are pointy and hamsterballs are round and also we can name it after an old clothing company that was famous for disruption back in the 20s or something anyway let me know how its going hope you don't mind I had to cut everyone's pay but since we're family here it's fine if you keep working twelve hours a day, also let child acquisitions know I'd like a progress report
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Jul 9, 2018 14:17
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MoreLikeTen posted:When it turns out child death machines are illegal, he's just going to rename it "Not a child death machine" to spite the authorities the Baby Bumble Ball is going to be designed and manufactured by The Completely Alive Baby Company (No Dead Babies) (Extremely Living Children)
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Jul 9, 2018 16:41
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The Toddler Body Still Full Of All Its Original Blood Company
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Jul 9, 2018 16:44
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living on venus in huge cloud cities until the winner of the cloud mayor elections decides that the buoyancy is fake news and the hydrogen tanks keeping the city afloat are unnecessary
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Jul 11, 2018 16:20
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World War Mammories posted:I saw that tweet referenced but that can't literally be it, right he launched a car into space as a marketing ploy while his car factory was falling apart
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Jul 11, 2018 18:51
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tesla customers buying a crate of parts and a chassis with an instruction manual would probably produce a higher quality product because they could take their time when assembling it
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Jul 12, 2018 10:43
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I feel like this is the kind of behavior you would expect from a person who is trying really hard to not think about his failing car company
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Jul 12, 2018 17:24
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it's important to remember that while you're required to work a 12 hour shift at tesla often your shift will be full of nothing to do because their internal supply lines are that hosed up so it's cool that being penalized for leaving even just a minute late is something that can happen even if the production is moving so slowly that you personally wouldn't have any work to do for several minutes more than that
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Jul 14, 2018 21:01
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Truga posted:how do you think they do OTA brake updates one of the subtler "lols" of the tesla saga is the fact that it has a whole bunch of people convinced that cars being able to wirelessly connect to the internet is somehow a good thing this isn't just unique to tesla of course but it's something that kind of just became accepted as somehow good because tesla started pushing firmware updates for their cars over the air
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Jul 19, 2018 19:12
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Wheeee posted:there's a lot of speculative dollars wrapped up into tesla, obsessing over it like this is just being smart someone's gotta be the pin that pops the bubble
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Jul 20, 2018 04:15
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StabbinHobo posted:wait, i get that musk is a shitheel, but do you morons really think electric cars are bad? cars in general are bad
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Jul 22, 2018 22:16
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this feels like the part where the dude who is gonna die in the desert looks up to see the vultures circling
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Jul 23, 2018 01:21
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anyone who thinks that the concept of the personal car is somehow compatible with any positive solution to climate change is trying to square a circle
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Jul 24, 2018 00:03
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Vox Nihili posted:Agreed, it's time for electrified buses, trains, and heavy trucks. this all already existed before car culture (read: auto manufacturing industry lobbying) showed up in the US
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Jul 24, 2018 01:05
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Acebuckeye13 posted:So uh how are you supposed to get anywhere that's not a fairly developed city or suburban area? part of finding a real solution to climate change does involve drastic and significant changes in how humans live across the entire globe, and even more drastic changes in the lifestyles of people who live in the west or other developed nations no matter what happens there will be an enormous change in human life over the next century, regardless of what we do, so we don't really have a choice in the matter of what we change or not: we'll either make the right changes or we won't and suffer the consequences (and then be forced to make those changes plus some under much harsher conditions, or suffer worse consequences) we don't even know if our children (haha) or grandchildren (lmao) will be able to grow food all their lives with the rate we're going right now, worrying about the challenges of transitioning away from personal car culture is like the least of concerns in the face of the scale of the problem climate change represents also, trains exist
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Jul 24, 2018 01:19
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akadajet posted:build induction chargers in the roads lmao I just remembered when poo poo like this was all over popular mechanics and the like goddamn things could have been WAY more dumb
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Jul 24, 2018 20:41
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musk ain't never going bankrupt because he's got that paypal money so he'll probably worm his way back into the public consciousness in another decade or two unless we take his money from him
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Jul 25, 2018 02:47
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Farm Frenzy posted:ted chiang wrote a really sick article about how that's basically what all elon's AI paranoia is really about https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/tedchiang/the-real-danger-to-civilization-isnt-ai-its-runaway quote:Speaking to Maureen Dowd for a Vanity Fair article published in April, Musk gave an example of an artificial intelligence that’s given the task of picking strawberries. It seems harmless enough, but as the AI redesigns itself to be more effective, it might decide that the best way to maximize its output would be to destroy civilization and convert the entire surface of the Earth into strawberry fields. this analogy is stolen from a youtube video series meant for semi-curious children lmao https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcdVC4e6EV4
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Jul 25, 2018 18:32
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FCKGW posted:whatever this was, it's deleted picture of musk and grimes that everyone thought was a picture of musk and his daughter
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Jul 26, 2018 21:29
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glad to see tesla's car seat manufacturing is up to the same standards as their car manufacturing
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Jul 30, 2018 21:47
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it's always cool to remember that musk's compensation package at tesla is dependent on the company reaching various performance milestones some of them are like number of cars manufactured but other milestones are tied to stock price
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Aug 11, 2018 00:45
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he's still high from whatever he did this weekend
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Aug 14, 2018 03:01
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Aug 21, 2018 00:06
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not at all surprised that tesla management also practices wage theft
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Aug 24, 2018 21:46
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not having a front grille makes all the tesla cars look like clumsy doofuses that have somehow glued their lips together
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Aug 31, 2018 20:19
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seems like a really bad idea to replace any of the mirrors on a car with a camera
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Sep 3, 2018 17:43
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Wulfolme posted:have all of these people just had their parents buy them all their cars well into their 30s never needed one their entire adult life and just buy a tesla for conspicuous consumption reasons
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Sep 13, 2018 04:41
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some months back (maybe four or five?) someone posted a picture of a broken tesla suspension that showed severe flaws in the casting process pretty cool to see similar flaws in some of the broken suspensions in them whompy wheel pics
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Sep 23, 2018 11:12
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when tesla finally croaks is musk gonna throw all of his energy into ruining spacex next?
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Oct 1, 2018 12:17
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Rex-Goliath posted:so how is this supposed to work, again? genuine question because i haven't been following this company at all. elon musk wants to build a secret street system under the normal street system of LA to relieve traffic congestion because one time he had to wait in a car for so long he got bored and it was just too darn traumatic for him to handle
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Nov 4, 2018 09:50
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gschmidl posted:It's just Loop, not Hyperloop I would fight to the death to not be put in this
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Dec 19, 2018 19:18
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Three Olives posted:Call me crazy but it feels like a bad idea to have a sovereign wealth fund with outsized connections to the global intelligence community engaging in complicated financial instruments involving public companies that might be disruptive to the primary source of national wealth. boy you know how much sunlight they get in saudi arabia
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Jan 29, 2019 03:38
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TheDon01 posted:https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1091947949578317824?s=19 lmao yo this is some really sad "just broke up and trying not to think about it" poo poo
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Feb 3, 2019 10:12
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Teal posted:By that you mean Grime's loving dead and this man can't stop washing his hands with bleach trying to get the blood off has anyone seen grimes in public recently
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Feb 3, 2019 12:16
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Krinkle posted:I just switched over from netflix to hulu and said well, poo poo! i never saw iron man 2 might as well kill an evening with one of the marvel movies I missed, and in the first five minutes he shakes elon musk's hand and says thank you for the idea for an electric jet. He does not roll his eyes. He does not make jerking off motions the second he's turned his back on elon. It was completely sincere. yes elon musk has paid to make minor appearances or be referred to by name in various movies
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Mar 9, 2019 03:14
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me, driving to work: constantly thinking about nonsense like "what if dogs could vote" and stupid bullshit like "haha pee is stored in the balls" while my muscle memory automatically keeps the car in-lane and a safe distance from other vehicles without me consciously thinking about it tesla owner, driving to work: constantly in a state of heightened awareness, mental focus, and anxiety because their special car's special brain might gently caress up and kill them
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Mar 26, 2019 19:58
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the only reason you need to connect to the internet for GPS-based navigation software is to update maps for road outages or whatever but that poo poo should be optional GPS itself is based on satellite transmissions that happen continuously from satellites in geostationary orbit, you don't need to transmit anything, only receive the signals from those satellites
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Mar 31, 2019 02:06
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infernal machines posted:e: n/m maybe it's just the resolution but that tire looks like it's been totally roached so it wouldn't surprise me if the people busting their wheels are pushing the car and they're just the first wave of fuckups and the more normal wear on cars that experience more normal driving habits will take a few years to start busting suspensions
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Apr 21, 2019 21:21
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