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Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR

WHAT IS THIS AAR THEN?
I was booting up Holy Fury one day to try out all of the new cool stuff and my mouse hovered over the Prussian Duchy in the 1066 start date. I realized I know very little about the original Prussians the Hohenzollern founded their Empire on. So I started reading, one link led to another and I got intrigued by this small Baltic culture that got lost to time (and a few swords at their throat probably didn't help either).

So I decided, you know what I want to mod in the 10 Clans I could identify into the game and play as them. One thing led to another and now we're here. The game will be heavily modded because I want to empower the narrative that happens. I will also allow audience participation through votes. In my previous one I had the audience be the Allthing of my realm, but this time I will have to figure out something more interesting for people. If you have ideas for let's say laws or events put a suggestion in the thread and I'll evaluate if I find it fitting to add.

f you haven't read my previous one (which unfortunately met an untimely end because of version incompatibilities) you can start reading it here.

Schedule for updates will be that a new chapter will be posted 10:00 every Wednesday starting from now.
(Note this is the time planned for Paradoxplaza because I have modding rights to create scheduled posts there. Though you should still be getting it close to that or evenings)

WHAT WILL BE THE END GOAL?
So the situation for the Prussian Clans is very dire, for years they've been slowly pushed back by Slavic and Lithuanian tribes all around them. Especially the Polans of Mazovia have been very adamant on getting support to grab more of the Pagan Prussians land. On the horizon there is also the potential of the Christian German Empire to set it's gaze upon our small patch of land. The goal? To survive.

Compared to my other AAR I will not see it as end game state if my dynasty disappears or dies out, as long as there's Landed Old Prussians somewhere, I will play as them.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Prologue - The Ten Tribes
Chapter 1 - A Rus, A Pole and a Goat
Chapter 2 - Blood of Pagans and Poles
Chapter 3 - Money, The World and Paranoia
Chapter 4 - The War of Blackmail
Chapter 5 - The Grand Pameddi Tribe
Chapter 6 - To Stand Alone or United
Chapter 7 - The Masquerade Pact
Chapter 8 - Battle of Coin

Groogy fucked around with this message at 14:23 on Dec 9, 2018

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Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR


Prussia. It stretches from east of the Vistula river to the Sambian Peninsula and the Curonian Lagoon. It is one of the very few places in Europe that as of yet has not been weeded out by the loyal flock of Christ. It retains its old barbaric ways and worship of nature deities. The land is inhabited by the Prussian people, Baltics whose language are related to the Lithuanians. However even with a long history and tradition going back together with their brothers, they are isolated and surrounded by foes who would prey on their slice of home.

There are 10 larger Clans of the Prussians that have any significance by controlling the various smaller settlements around them.



In the furthest north on the border with the Lithuanians and Lettgalish tribes we have the Semba and Nadravo clans. Budo is an acomplished warrior who subjugated the settlements around him. Sergonis would be his opposite, a hard working man whose people migrated to Nadruvia and settled itself by building fortresses against the Skalvians to the north. Also part of the area known as Lower Prussia are the Notangi and the Waarmi clans. All of these four clans cover a large part of the Amber Road and their settlements are important stops on it including the settlement located in Malbork and Kulmus ruled by the Pameddi Clan.

However it is clear that Budo holds the power in Lower Prussia, both being ruler over the well populated penninsula and the famous temple of Romowe being the site where the so-called "pagan pope" resides, who apes the Bishop of Rome without holding real power.




On the southern border of Prussia are the Barta, Galinda, Sasnis and Luubawa clans. Once much more mightier and prosperous they have lost a lot of land at the emergence of the Polans slavs in the 10th century and are now considerably weaker compared to their more isolated brethren.

Though they are still known to perform raids into their former land capturing riches from the Mazovian duke.




In Upper Prussia, the region bordering the Vistula river and the Pomeranian tribes we have the Paguddi and the Pameddi. The Paguddi controls the entire stretch of the east side of the Elbing river and uses it well to keep control over the various settlements and any trade that passes through there. Their main rival are the Pameddi clan who does the same on the west side of the river and all the way to the Vistula river.

The Pameddi are probably the most influential in the entire Prussian region, even rivaling Budo of Semba in the north. They have two major settlements of Kulmus and Malbork which are lead by their Chieftain Milzas. He is a warrior rumored to hold the very axe of their thunder god Perkunas. Compared to Budo of Semba, a brute of a warrior who can take down any foe before him, Milzas is more the warrior of the battlefield and the even larger perspective. Though doesn't mean he isn't known to give his axe a swing himself from time to time.




Immediately to the west across the Vistula river comes the Slav tribes known as Pomerania and Obotritia. They have recently started to adopt the ways of the Germanic people to their west, establishing a feudal relationship to the tribes under them. To the north of them are the newly Christian kingdoms of Sweden and Denmark. The Baltic coast has always been a target of plunder and conquest for these people, and the Prussians were no exception to that and have met the Slavs and Vikings in both battle and trade.



To the east besides the Lithuanian and the Lettigalian tribes we have the mighty Kievan Rus and it’s tributary states of Polotsk, Chernigov, Pereyaslavl and Novgorod ruled by the descendants of Rurik of Holmgard. With many of these local rulers lacking a strong sense of loyalty to Kiev, there are doubts whether this mighty empire can last...



The Polans of Mazovia have for soon a hundred years encroached on Prussian land resulting in the current state of the southern tribes. Duke Wladyslaw of Kuyavia-Mazovia are currently trying to gather support to invade under the cause of bringing Christ to the Baltic pagans, through kind words or at the end of a sword if so need be.




On the very distant horizon there are also the Holy Roman Empire. The German Kaiser has yet to turn his gaze upon the Prussians but he is well aware of their existence through the trade relationship between the western merchants and the various settlements on the Amber Road.



The Prussian tribes and their old customs are not long for this world, isolated and seemingly abandoned by their gods as the bearers of the Cross continued to march ever closer to them. How will they go out? When the brave crusaders of Christ comes to extinguish their fire how will they face their final hour? With a whimper or with a holy fury?

Mightypeon
Oct 10, 2013

Putin apologist- assume all uncited claims are from Russia Today or directly from FSB.

key phrases: Poor plucky little Russia, Spheres of influence, The West is Worse, they was asking for it.
Jealousy intensifies :)

Do you intend to stay Pagan or convert to christianity?

Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR
There's bunch of new features to convert to Christian. And the new Crusade mechanics are freaking super cool. But I also wanna use the new reform faith features.... It's tough call. It will probably become a vote at some point.
Holy fury is seriously cool for Pagan loving person like me, but it also brings so much to the Christians that I also wants to play with.

Gravity Cant Apple
Jun 25, 2011

guys its just like if you had an apple with a straw n you poked the apple though wit it n a pebbl hadnt dropped through itd stop straw insid the apple because gravity cant apple
Nice, was sad to see the previous LP stop updating. Can't wait to see what kind of shenanigans you get up to here.

Deceitful Penguin
Feb 16, 2011
I mean, I'd think a logical end goal would be forming the Empire of Germania as the Prussians, right? :P

Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR

Deceitful Penguin posted:

I mean, I'd think a logical end goal would be forming the Empire of Germania as the Prussians, right? :P

[CRIES IN PRUSSIAN]


No compared to the Norse, I'll be playing a bit more in accordance with being a defensive religion this time around. Also even so with the nerfs I've done to manpower that is going to be hard as a tribal surrounded by feudal kingdoms...
Sure HRE might not start with 12k Levies anymore but he has heavy cavalry.... I have some people with pitch forks.

ninjahedgehog
Feb 17, 2011

It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.



Is this guy's spear from a mod, or is this one of the new features in Holy Fury?

Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR

ninjahedgehog posted:

Is this guy's spear from a mod, or is this one of the new features in Holy Fury?

*cough* erhm.... :heysexy:



e: Might be old? I do know one of the previous ones added canes and other stuff but haven't seen that spear myself before.
Disclaimer, I haven't worked on ck2 and been busy with eu4 so hard to keep track of everything that gets added.

Deceitful Penguin
Feb 16, 2011

Groogy posted:

[CRIES IN PRUSSIAN]


No compared to the Norse, I'll be playing a bit more in accordance with being a defensive religion this time around. Also even so with the nerfs I've done to manpower that is going to be hard as a tribal surrounded by feudal kingdoms...
Sure HRE might not start with 12k Levies anymore but he has heavy cavalry.... I have some people with pitch forks.
Even when I was playing as teh Romuva, I never could stop invading Ireland for instance, it's just so much fun.

Mightypeon
Oct 10, 2013

Putin apologist- assume all uncited claims are from Russia Today or directly from FSB.

key phrases: Poor plucky little Russia, Spheres of influence, The West is Worse, they was asking for it.
When I played as Romuva, I basically invaded Scandinavia because the jerks wouldnt stop raiding my pretty rich coastal republic countries.

Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR
Well now it's 1066, so I am the one to raid, not the Norse ;)

binge crotching
Apr 2, 2010

If you haven't chosen a tribe to play as yet, go with Kulmus and reform the faith. With that axe it's basically a sign that you have to.

Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR
Yeah going to start with that, maybe I'll follow wherever the axe goes, somehow being the spirit of Perkunas guiding his devout followers through the ages.
Though also I moved the holy site to Romowe.

Pacho
Jun 9, 2010
Looking forward to this LP and to vote for making paganism better... stronger... faster...

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT
This will be exciting. Good luck Groogy!

Luhood
Nov 13, 2012
Pre-Release LP! :dance:

Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR
Boy am I off to a great start...




I'll be lucky if I get to keep my balls I guess long enough to procure an heir.
If this guy dies before I get an heir I'll just follow wherever the Axe of Perkunas goes.

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon
poo poo happens

aphid_licker
Jan 7, 2009


I did not realize that you could get the runs in CK

Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR

aphid_licker posted:

I did not realize that you could get the runs in CK

That's just the symptom though, not the actual disease :psyduck:
Since Reapers Due illness gotten a lot more.... interesting.



There was a very.... interesting way to deal with my... illness

aphid_licker
Jan 7, 2009


:f5:

Chatrapati
Nov 6, 2012
This was my favourite area to play in the original Crusader Kings. I used that mod which allowed you to play as pagans.

I remember it being fairly difficult finding any information about how the Prussians or Lettigalians etc. lived their lives, but this may have just been because I was a child. Where did you find your information on the Prussians?

Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR
I googled and asked my Lithuanian & Latvian to help me translate some things and also tell me about folk lore as it should be some similarities there. But yeah it wasn't easy.

For instance I switched out the Imperial Eagle for the Prussian flag to be a Grass Snake instead since they were guardians of the home if I understood things correctly. And I found the imagery of a battle to the death between an eagle and snake to be interesting. Also I found a Prussian dictionary so I can make up some way to say "Got mit Uns" for when we get to that period. It's not really Prussia without that phrase.

Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR


Chieftain Milzas is a hard working man who fought his way to be approved by the Elders of our clan. After the death of the previous chieftain he in a show of strength trumps the heir apparent to the clan, though some would say he used a dirty trick, something Milzas would claim he never did. Even so he is not an ambitious man, being quite content with his lot in life but what he does have he holds quite dearly.

Having taken control of the Pameddi, his dream is not of conquest or expanding the power of the tribe by subjugating others. What he does look forward to is grooming his very own heir to the clan.




But there's no way he can get a son all by himself, he's going to need some help with that. And now as a leader of his tribe he should also consider future implications of whoever he marries. Acquiring a relationship that would give him a strong ally would be required of him. Almost a stone throw away is the Lithuanian High Chief of Yatvingia, bordering east of Prussia and North of Poland, who has two daughters. Milzas travels there to visit only to discover they are in no way in an age where they could bear children. He fakes a smile as he grinds his teeth all the while Chief Manvydas goes on about a betrothal. That is until from the corner of his eye he glimpse someone who looks just like the High Chief.

Manvydas has an unmarried sister. During the evening feast our clever Chief manages to get an excuse to talk to her, making sure he is in the view of her older brother. Clearly having an unmarried sister in such an esteemed realm must be a burden. Eventually Manvydas gets to talk to Milzas and asks him what he thought. She's well-spoken, a bit insecure and worried about what people think but somewhere there's a fiery burn of ambition in her. Before he's done the High Chief has already decided, Praurime will be his bride and from that union a lasting alliance shall reign.




Even though Milzas know how to fight and lead troops he isn't much of a brute or warrior. So he started to surround himself around ones that saw the thrill of the fight. The best place to find these are the Band of Medcina, the faithful of the huntress goddess. This exclusive group most valued hero is none other than the Captain of the Lithuanian Band, Pukuveras a formidable warrior. And among it's rank is where Milzas found his Marshal Kurgis, an old warrior but still well trained and knowledgeable. Also a newer member of the band is Milzas long time friend and Commander Glande.




And their skill will soon be proven. Our Brother-in-law has attacked the Kievan Rus Princes and he seems to not have been the only one. Milzas selflessly offers to fulfill his pledge to come to the great Chieftain of Yatvingia side. Almost two thousand strong men are amassed from Kulmus and Malbork with Commander Glande taking charge of the Malbork warriors. Among the tribes invading the Rus are the forces of Grand Chieftain of Lithuania, leading his men himself.

As Podlasie falls our ally turns his forces to engage the enemy. Milzas joins up in the battle of Beresty with the mighty Pameddi tribesmen overwhelming the Rus.





Being Milzas' first battle he gets a bit careless and one of the Rus nobles charges at him tripping him over and kicking his sword out of his hand. Chief Rostislav stands above him as a beast ready to lunge at his prey. He rolls away from Rostislavs sword aimed at his hand trying to grasp after his lost weapon. As he gets up he grabs the Axe of Perkunas tied to his belt. This stone axe usually only brought with as a symbolic weapon to inspire the men but now it will save his life. Rostislav recovers and flings his sword at Milzas again which is easily parries with the axe. He follows up the length of his foes arm to get close and stabs the end of the axe straight into the eye socket of Rostislav who falls back as he howls in agony, his eye utterly destroyed.

The large man now whimpering in the mud disarmed, Milzas decides to spare him and to instead focus on the battle. Though not being able to fight at the end he gets captured by Manvydas forces and taken as prisoner in the camp. Though shortly after this is where he eventually dies from an infection caused by his wound.




It doesn't take long until the Rus surrender to us. And it seems they were also forced to surrender to the Chieftain residing in Vilnius.




On the way home Milzas celebrate the victory with his men and Glande. He retells of his epic combat with Rostislavs and how the Axe of Perkunas saved him from certain death. He proclaims his patron Perkunas, the god of the battlefield, to have showed his very will and favor by their victory.



Though war is expensive and even with the great new stories for Milzas to tell from his exploit, his beloved treasury is running awfully dry for him keeping his troops ready to fight. Manvydas won't pay for them so our Chieftain decides to keep his host raised and enters into Gdansk, ready to seize it's wealth, clearly it would be put into better use in Milzas hands.

Though it doesn't take long until his brother-in-law is in... yet another war. This time against the Poles and their King Boleslaw II. This Boleslaw is the great grand son of Boleslaw The Great, the first King of Poland and his family line is the sword of the Vicar of Christ in the east, subjugator and proselytizer of our kind.




Compared to the Rus, the Poles are not as disorganized and even though between the Pameddi and the Yatvingia the Poles have way lesser numbers, their armies are not to be scuffed at. So Milzas take caution and maneuver back and forth with the King over months along the border between Prussia, Lithuania and Poland. But eventually our allies feel over confident and engages the Polans. Before our troops even get the chance to come to aid the light cavalry have devastated the troops of our Lithuanian friends.



Our Chieftain catches up to the Poles before they manage to disappear and makes sure they don't think their victory was easily gained. However the battle wasn't as overwhelmingly a success as the ones with the Rus. Even with more than twice the numbers the Polish cavalry still puts a number on our infantry and we come away with way more losses than we should have with barely any inflicted on them.



Even with that victory Milzas know the King is a wealthy man and can easily afford to acquire help. Himself as well wanting a quick end to the drain on his own poor purse he decides to puruse the King. So Milzas and Glande give chase all across the entire countryside after the fleeing King before he gets a chance to catch a breath. Thanks to that there's nothing left for the Poles to do but to surrender to us.



At last some rest for our Chieftain but all these campaigns and bad conditions are taking it's toll on Milzas in the most unpleasant way. A well known medicus and mystic is paid to travel to Kulmus all the way from the far north of Scandinavia. Baeivvet takes a quick look and hastily concludes that what Milzas is suffering from is just a simple case of food poisoning and offers a simple remedy...





"Perkunas save me...." Milzas whispers to himself

Groogy fucked around with this message at 09:54 on Jul 18, 2018

crimea
Nov 16, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
Seems like the Rus and Poland got off to a bad start - hopefully we Pagans can keep up the pressure so that it's safer for us to consolidate.

crimea
Nov 16, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
Edit: Doublepost

Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR
Yeah I've been trying to get money somehow but these wars keep making me exhaust the coffers every time D:

aphid_licker
Jan 7, 2009


Are we going to have to take our inhaler along with us whereever we go?

Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR
Pls no I don't wanna think about it :psyduck:

Luhood
Nov 13, 2012
Obsessing over goat farts, is this a crossover with the Six Ages LP?

DrSunshine
Mar 23, 2009

Did I just say that out loud~~?!!!

I'm the lone horse archer in this battle, who survived.

Prav
Oct 29, 2011

look any treatment that lets you keep your balls is a good treatment

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves
Oh sweet a Groogy LP

RabidWeasel
Aug 4, 2007

Cultures thrive on their myths and legends...and snuggles!

Prav posted:

look any treatment that lets you keep your balls is a good treatment

I'm not gonna lie I was expecting the ol snip snip remedy, the Andalusia thread has put me in a state where I'm pleasantly surprised any time a medical emergency is solved while retaining the subject's testicles.

Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR
There was a reason I didn't pick the "I am brave so I am willing to take any remedy you have"
It can only end in me becoming a eunuch and for a darned food poisoning before I get my heir I refuse!

Banemaster
Mar 31, 2010

DrSunshine posted:

I'm the lone horse archer in this battle, who survived.

But you were also casualty. And survived.

quote:

Luhood
Nov 13, 2012
Undead horse-archer, Perkunas protects!

Sindai
Jan 24, 2007
i want to achieve immortality through not dying
The magic of hidden fractions! Turns you you were actually 1.4 horse archers and now you're 0.7.

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Morrow
Oct 31, 2010
Is the .4 a horse or a man.

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