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Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Go CarMart

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Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
:negative:

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Popete posted:

Look how happy Dex looks surrounded by his old teammates.

He’s also happy (and playing better) now that Matheny’s gone.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
For the unaware, walking DeJong is like walking Javy.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Coworkers emailing me “f u”.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
He’s already dead.gif

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Sydin posted:

Imagine sucking so bad you can't get 3 outs with a 15 run lead lol

The Brett Cecil Experience.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Tom Gorman posted:

I didn't get to watch the game today but hopefully Carpenter got a couple hits he's been pretty good lately

Woo boy

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Greg Holland in the 9th, even in this situation, makes me queasy.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

R.D. Mangles posted:

pancakes needs to get one of those bedazzled cards jerseys

Wearing it right now. :wink:

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Kevlar v2.0 posted:

All we gotta do is keep it close until we get into the Cardinals' very bad bullpen.

I warned you about Jordan Hicks earlier today, friend.

Also, Bader's going for a new scruffy look.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
My 10 least favorite players contained no Cubs. If I could have included managers it might have. gently caress off, Joe.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Don't know if Javy needed to be protected there honestly. He looked calm to me.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Kevlar v2.0 posted:

It was clearly an attempt by Maddon to get the team fired up.

Much like calling the Cardinals the Sopranos or being a poo poo about takeout slides. I will repeat, gently caress off Joe.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Greg "White Flag" Holland. Good game, Cubs. :sigh:

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Sydin posted:

I don't think you've been watching the Cubs offense closely enough this game. Holland is going to go 1-2-3.

Already proven wrong by Greg "Where's the Strike Zone" Holland. I say he allows at least 2 more baserunners.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Sydin posted:

I would but Holland already walked a guy. :argh:

:toxx: If the Cubs actually score off Holland this game I'll get a Greg Holland AV.

You poor bastard.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
:smug:

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Ahahahahahahaha

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

R.D. Mangles posted:

well that wasn't holland's fault

Hey now, that wasn't part of the Toxx.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Cardinals bullpen last game: We are SO bad.
Holland: Hold my beer.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
I'm not even mad at Holland. I knew this was coming. Enjoy your av, sucker. I warned you.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Sydin posted:

Haha welp.

Ideas on the text? Was thinking of "Matheney's Proven CloserTM" but I'm open to anything wittier.

"Clogging up the basepaths" maybe with some clogs, windmills and tulips in there.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Ambassador of Funk posted:

So what's the point of firing Matheny if the new guys just going to put Holland in close situations as well?

Kevlar can verify that earlier today I said that at least we got our really bad relievers work on Friday like Holland and Cecil, so hopefully they wouldn't get used today. :sigh:

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Kevlar v2.0 posted:

Mr. Holland's Old Piss

Yeah, this one's better than my clog pun.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Sydin posted:

I don't think you've been watching the Cubs offense closely enough this game. Holland is going to go 1-2-3.

A quick reminder of exactly how wrong you were.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Mike_V posted:

you're out of your mind if you think matheny would run holland out in the 6th inning of a game

Mike had started his "grind the young guy into paste in the 8th" routine on Hicks; Holland was approaching 7th inning or mopup duty.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Matt loving Carpenter

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Seriously guys, just walk him. He's a force of nature right now.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
If Matt Carpenter isn't named player of the week there's no goddamn justice in this world.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
8 home runs in 6 games, mother of god.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Your Taint posted:

I loving hate Matt Carpenter

Honestly, I'm not going to fight you on this one. He's probably a CHUD, he's just quiet about it.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Kevlar v2.0 posted:

I hope he homers 7 times this series and the Cardinals go 1-4 in it :twisted:

Make it 8+ homers and I'm on board.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Cardinals bullshit!

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Thank you for reminding me of Heffalump Face.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Someone get the Cubs to play the Jaws theme for Carp's next AB please.

R.D. Mangles posted:

this game will last exactly as long as it takes carpenter to come to bat again

He's up next.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
There's that Golden Glove!

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvCI-gNK_y4

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Wilson pitching to Carpenter. Bold choice, let's see how it pays off for them.

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Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Yeah, that's an unintentional intentional if ever I've seen one.

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