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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?




____________________________

Raw Results:
  • Michael Cole welcomed Renee Young as a fulltime member of the commentary team, replacing Coach who will now be relegated to PPV pre-shows.
  • BRAUN! Drew and Dolph came to the ring with a group of the heels who assaulted The Shield last week, and they replayed the beatdown. BRAUN! said Roman was a coward, and Ziggler said the other heels had made a stand against bullying. Drew promised he and Dolph would destroy The B Team again this week, and BRAUN! assured him that would be nothing compared to what he did to Roman in the Hell in a Cell.
  • The Shield came in through the crowd, Dean with a duffle bag full of weapons, and they cleared the ring and left BRAUN! Drew and Dolph glowering on the ramp.
  • The Riott Squad (presumably) had wrecked up Brie Bell'a dressing room.
  • The Shield were arguing with the New Orleans Police while Baron Corbin reminded them that this was a good way to get arrested. Rollins calmed them all down and walked them out, with Roman staring down an officer.
  • Nikki Bella defeated Ruby Riott, with Brie curtailing the interference attempts by the rest of the Riott Squad.
  • The Big how did a Connor's Cure segment with a group of sick kids, getting the crowd to give them all applause.
  • A video played to remind us that everybody now wanted to see HBK vs. Undertaker far more than they did HHH vs. Undertaker.
  • Drake Maverick, not wearing a vest this week, hyped up the destructive capabilities of The Authors of Pain.
  • The Authors of Pain demolished a couple of local jobbers (much to Renee's dismay) in just over a minute.
  • Triple H passed the police as he came to the ring to do a promo about how Undertaker was now only a reputation, and his last truly great matches had been against HBK and himself and he blamed them for taking so much out of him that he'd lost to Brock and then Roman at Wrestlemania.
  • Drew and Dolph defeated The B Team via cheating to retain their Raw Tag Team Titles. Afterwards, Ambrose and Rollins jumped them and beat up on them until they managed to escape.
  • Baron Corbin was reading Rollins and Ambrose the riot act about their interference and warned them this was a good way to get arrested again. Rollins pointed out that their arrest last week was due to somebody filing a false police report, and Corbin insisted that wasn't him. Ambrose called in a local sheriff who was prepared to arrest Corbin until he frantically agreed to do a deal with Seth.
  • Outside, Ambrose discussed speeding tickets with the sheriff, saying speed limits should be "suggested speeds", then Seth came out delight and told Ambrose that things were going their way and they would no longer be pressing charges.
  • Kevin Owens brutalized Tyler Breeze with a Powerbomb onto the apron. He grabbed a mic and explained that he was glad to quit two weeks ago, but acting manager Baron Corbin had called him and done him a deal where he no longer was held accountable for any of his actions in the ring. So his murder of Breeze was just "doing his job", and his attack on The Shield last week wasn't a favor to anybody but him just "doing his job." He called out Bobby Lashley, saying Lashley was responsible for Sami Zayn being out injured, and Owens intended to make him pay for it over and over again.
  • Bobby Roode and Chad Gable defeated The Ascension in a tag match. Gable blind tagged in to start the match, surprising Roode, but they worked well together and celebrated happily after their victory.
  • Ziggler was furious that The Shield were still in the building. Corbin showed up and told them he had good news... they'd be defending their tag team titles against Seth and Dean at Hell in a Cell! He claimed his reason was because it was his first PPV in charge and he wanted the best possible match, and assured BRAUN! that Stephanie wanted him as the new Universal Champion. BRAUN! said he was going big dog hunting.
  • Ronda Rousey and Natalya Neidhart defeated Alexa Bliss and Mickie James in a tag match. Thanks to some trickery, Alexa was able to finally do damage to Ronda for the first time in her WWE career, but Ronda recovered and submitted Mickie James much to the crowd's delight.
  • Elias was complaining about his catering backstage when BRAUN! showed up menacing members of the crew demanding to know where Roman Reigns was.
  • Ronda was getting her ribs checked backstage but gave a seething interview promising Alexa that even on her worst day, she was still the best.
  • Elias did a concert in ring until Mick Foley showed up to note that Elias was talented but lacked sincerity. Foley looked like he had lost a lot of weight but too quickly, with his hair dyed it was kinda offputting. Elias told him he was the future, Foley said maybe his time really was past, but there was still something for him in the present, and he would be the special guest referee at Hell in a Cell between BRAUN! and Roman. Elias told him to go backstage and stop wasting his time, and Foley revealed that Stephanie had offered him a chance to exercise GM Authority one last time by making one match this evening. Foley's choice was for Elias to face Finn Balor.
  • BRAUN! was still storming around backstage demanding Roman.
  • Balor defeated Elias was rollup. Renee was delighted and Cole (in a fun way) admonished her to be unbiased.
  • Lio Rush was talking a mile a minute hyping up Bobby Lashley as he attempted to workout. Lashley seemed to accept the idea of having Rush as a manager/hype man.
  • BRAUN! stopped Charley Caruso backstage from doing an interview, calmly (for him) demanding to know where Roman was. Charley suggested he go to the ring so Roman could find him.
  • The Undertaker will return to Raw next week to answer Triple H's claims.
  • BRAUN! came out demanding Roman come out... and he didn't. BRAUN! said Roman was a coward, but at Hell in a Cell there was nowhere to hide, nobody to help him, and even if Mick Foley got in his way as Special Ref, BRAUN! would destroy him too.
  • Roman's music played and he came out and climbed onto the commentary table and motioned to BRAUN! to come get him. They started fighting on the entrance platform and back to the announce table, the crowd just kind of watching without making much noice till Roman hit a Samoan Drop from the table through the stage, which perked them up a little.
  • Roman got back up and strutted off with the belt, turning back to pose with it to a quiet mixture of cheers and boos as BRAUN! was left laying.
____________________________

Smackdown Results:
  • The show opened with the ring bell tolling 11 times to mark the anniversary of 9/11 (never forget).
  • Jeff Hardy came out and did a promo about how demons are all around us, but he's happy to go to Hell (in a Cell) and take Randy Orton with him.
  • Jeff Hardy won by DQ against Shinsuke Nakamura, after he was setting up for the Swanton Bomb but got crotched on the ropes by Randy Orton who then tried to beat him up with a steel chair, only for Jeff to turn the tables, beat him with it and then hit the Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb on Orton.
  • The Miz and Maryse did a backstage interview making GBS threads all over Brie and Bryan, saying that the two had only married because they couldn't find anybody else, unlike Miz and Maryse who were soulmates.
  • AJ was featured in a pre-taped promo sitting on the steps next to the ring earlier in the day. He discussed how Joe has used their past to aim at AJ's weakpoints, but AJ similarly knew Joe's weakpoints and would target them.
  • They replayed Charlotte and Becky's interview from the previous week where both called the other delusional. In the present, Charlotte was interviewed and talked up how she is naturally competitive, but Becky only talks the talk.
  • Charlotte defeated Sonya Deville (with Mandy at ringside) by Submission. As Charlotte left, a black-haired fan at ringside leveled her, then pulled off the wig and glasses to reveal it was Becky. She put the Disarmer on Charlotte momentarily, then stalked off. She looked like a total badass.
  • Samoa Joe presented storytime, showing a bound storybook called Night Night by Samoa Joe, a rhyming story about the villain AJ Styles and the hero Samoa Joe. Joe absolutely made this work where it would have flopped with anybody else.
  • Backstage, badass Becky told the interviewer she'd promised to break Charlotte's arm, but she was going to wait till AFTER she won the title to do it.
  • New Day came out with their own announce table, and played a video of Kofi KingstonKramer Kingston doing a story on The Bar.
  • Rusev Day defeated The Bar to become the number one contenders for The New Day's Tag Team Titles. English got taken out by a Brogue Kick but that gave Rusev the opening he needed to finish off Sheamus. Lana was loving stoked at ringside, and New Day seemed excited too.
  • Andrade "Cien" Almas defeated R-Truth thanks to an unwitting distraction by Carmella after she hauled Zelina out of the ring for doing a dual-Tranquilo pose with Almas.
  • Asuka was being interviewed backstage about helping Naomi against the IIconics last week, but Naomi took over the interview and eventually got through to her that she wanted to team up with her.
  • Maryse kept avoiding fighting Brie in their main event, so Brie got on the mic and called Maryse a coward. Miz lost his mind and declared that she didn't deserve this match and neither did the city, and they were leaving.
  • Brie hauled Maryse back to the ring and quickly got her into the Yes Lock, so Miz hauled Brie out of the ring which caused a DQ. Bryan jumped Miz and started to beat the poo poo out of him but an attempted move on Miz hit Brie instead. As Bryan checked on Brie, Miz jumped him from behind and threw him into the steps, and Maryse beat up on Brie.
  • Maryse dragged Brie into the ring but Brie turned the tables, and she got in Miz's face. Maryse attacked her from behind again, but Brie got the upper hand and then Bryan recovered, got his hands on Miz, and when Miz tried to escape Brie punched him and then Bryan knocked him out of the ring.
  • Bryan and Brie celebrated in the ring as Miz and Maryse cheesed it up the ramp.

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at Sep 12, 2018 around 02:00

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Mr. Carlisle posted:

Why?

What good could that possibly do? He's always been bad and he isn't going to get any better.

Now nobody will have to watch him, since nobody watches the pre-shows I guess

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Foley did a good promo and Ronda is really loving over, and in the case of the latter it's really nice seeing how the crowd is just fully and totally behind her and absolutely buy her as an asskicker.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


jesus WEP posted:

so KO is just helping Braun now and apparently the best reason writers could up with is him saying "I CAN DO WHAT I WANT"

am I missing anything here

I actually thought Owens did a reasonably good job of addressing it. He specifically said he wasn't there to help anybody or do favors for anyone, he went out there because he hates the dudes in The Shield and it was an opportunity to beat the poo poo out of them and he knew he would face zero consequences for it.

The idea that Owens had worked out a deal where he can't be punished for doing whatever the gently caress he wants, and in fact doing whatever the gently caress he wants IS his job, is a pretty fun concept. Whether WWE leaves him alone to make it work or decides to "help" I guess remains to be seen.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Smackdown results added to the OP. TL;DR - Becky owns, Samoa Joe owns.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Rarity posted:

I'm really glad that they veered away from breaking up Aiden and Rusev and went with them being an example of pure and wholesome friendship instead



I'm hoping they're not holding out for a last minute swerve and all three of them just stay good buddies.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


rovert posted:

I need to know how they sneaked Becky out relatively unnoticed.

She has a pretty striking face. One like if you change or cover up her hair it brings it out 10x more. I guess fans near her just played along.

Everybody was too scared of loving with such a badass, so they left her alone!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


DeepDickPizza posted:

Is Taker holding two glasses of whiskey in one enormous hand?

Flair appears to be asking himself the very same question!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


MotU posted:

wwe is dying due to steph infection



fatherofmustard posted:

https://www.wwenetworknews.com/2018...on-wwe-network/

205 Live will be airing before NXT on Wednesday now.

Jesus Christ, FINALLY!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Sono posted:

Why does Ronda have a Gozer gimmick?

BECAUSE THE TRAVELER HAS COME

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Legit one of the worst booked endings to a PPV/worst booked matches I can remember from WWE in years, if not ever. Holy poo poo.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


The Raw tag match was great though.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



Ahahaha

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Becky's win was completely clean. She didn't cheat or take any shortcut or rely on distraction or a ref bump or anything, the two of them were wrestling and Becky pinned Charlotte and became the new champion, and all was right with the world.

I mean not long after everything went to poo poo with the world, but Becky being champ rules and the way she won and treated Charlotte after was great too.

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


DarkstarIV posted:

Nah, I'm going to remain optimistic. Where people in here seem to want to see Asuka fail or are writing her off, when it seems like the opposite is going to happen. If you don't like reading me being optimistic about Asuka's future, then don't reply. I'm not doing any harm by posting about it.

fatherofmustard posted:

There's no reason to be optimistic.

People should optimism and hope wherever they can

Besides, DarkstarIV is right that there is plenty of precedent for WWE just randomly making somebody a champion long past the point they should have or after loving up the booking plenty of times. It doesn't mean they'll suddenly start booking Asuka right (lord knows it shouldn't be difficult) but her being champion at some point in the next year certainly wouldn't be unusual in WWE's history.

Plus remember that WWE explicitly and specifically promised me personally they were going to do a Becky/Asuka feud.

  • Locked thread