Blazing Ownager posted:

You have to show up. But here's my 'never ever get picked' guidelines:

- Wear an old shirt for a week every night and don't wash it. If it has some questionable slogan, graphic violence or something on it that they can't overtly get mad at you for, all the better
- Wear a necklace, keychain, or something with a little gun or knife on it on it. They hate that.
- Absolutely, positively gently caress up your hair and leave it like that. Run some grease in it and part it wrong.
- If you get called into the jury room, cough and clear your nose a lot and don't cover it
- Loudly whisper to the jurors about how you can't wait to "get some son of a bitch thrown in jail" in the courtroom

I've never gotten selected so I've never had to break out the -really- extreme options but I'm happy with the 100% rate at which I get to go home.

Also can I say 'jury of your peers' actually means 'Jury of people too loving stupid to get out of jury duty' so God help you if you commit a crime.