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raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
If there were only three fruits I would say definitely I would like grapes (the only S tier fruit), lychees (the grape of the East), and I guess papaya although picking a third isn't easy.

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raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
OTOH if I could get an unlimited amount of any three fruits, prepped and ready to eat, at any time forever I would take mangosteen, watermelon, probably good blueberries.

curlys gold
Jan 17, 2018

three olives, liberace, the op

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Why grapes are the only S tier fruit

-They grow on vines which is the best way for fruit to be
-They grow in clusters which is more appealing than single fruits
-You can make them into wine (not bullshit wine actual wine)
-They are easy to clean and you don't have to put in much work to eat them
-Good size
-Flavor is something you can have every day and also refreshing

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Are they sitting on the edge of a cliff?
I'll take cucumbers, cumquats and coconuts.

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

curlys gold posted:

three olives, liberace, the op

That's five fruits moron

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Colonel Cancer posted:

Are they sitting on the edge of a cliff?
I'll take cucumbers, cumquats and coconuts.

Terrible

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum

curlys gold posted:

three olives, Richard Simmons, the op

spinderella
Jul 15, 2017

by FactsAreUseless
I ADORE persimmons, they are my favorite food.

They taste like orange sunshine. :love:

spinderella
Jul 15, 2017

by FactsAreUseless
So I'll take 3 persimmons please.

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

spinderella posted:

So I'll take 3 persimmons please.

I'm gonna give you three of those little seed things the food part is stuck to without the food part and say "teach a man to fish"

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Persimmons are some of the world's least convenient fruit, right up there with coconuts

I like to braise lamb shanks in persimmon juice

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel
Bananas, apples, and probably blueberries because I like those in regular old fashioned oatmeal for sweetness.

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Bananas, apples, and probably blueberries because I like those in regular old fashioned oatmeal for sweetness.

I thought maybe I shoudl include the humble tomato for similar reasons but its not fruity enough to sneak onto the list even if I was doing ti for real for the gornment I would defintely do like limes, tomatoes, apples as the only three fruits that can come along but lets GET friggen REAL

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Blackberries, pears, toss up between apple/banana


As an aside - the gently caress is up with grapes over the last 20 years? I remember as a kid (born '81) 80% of your grapes were green, and they were small, about the size of, I dunno, maybe my thumbnail today, and sour. In fact, I mostly disliked them. I ate them, because hey, it's fruit. You could occasionally get purple grapes that were a little larger and were sweeter but cost a lot more.

Now look at these fuckers. My wife comes home with green grapes almost as big as my adult male thumb and sweeter than a kiwi or like eating apple juice, and purple ones just the same. They are like two bites a piece. Please tell me that I'm not just going crazy.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

raton posted:

That's five fruits moron

heh

berth ell pup
Mar 20, 2017

I am a business magnet.
buddha's hands, tunas, durans.

Big Beef City posted:

My wife comes home with green grapes almost as big as my adult male thumb and sweeter than a kiwi or like eating apple juice, and purple ones just the same. They are like two bites a piece. Please tell me that I'm not just going crazy.

don't you start this poo poo now.

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel

Big Beef City posted:

Blackberries, pears, toss up between apple/banana


As an aside - the gently caress is up with grapes over the last 20 years? I remember as a kid (born '81) 80% of your grapes were green, and they were small, about the size of, I dunno, maybe my thumbnail today, and sour. In fact, I mostly disliked them. I ate them, because hey, it's fruit. You could occasionally get purple grapes that were a little larger and were sweeter but cost a lot more.

Now look at these fuckers. My wife comes home with green grapes almost as big as my adult male thumb and sweeter than a kiwi or like eating apple juice, and purple ones just the same. They are like two bites a piece. Please tell me that I'm not just going crazy.

I noticed that too. I just bought some grapes 2 days ago for probably the first time and these fuckers are huge. And really good too. I mostly remember small purple or green grapes. These are giant green monsters. I love them though. I might buy grapes again in the near future.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
if u dont like granny smith apples go gently caress yourself thanks in advance

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Big Beef City posted:

Blackberries, pears, toss up between apple/banana


As an aside - the gently caress is up with grapes over the last 20 years? I remember as a kid (born '81) 80% of your grapes were green, and they were small, about the size of, I dunno, maybe my thumbnail today, and sour. In fact, I mostly disliked them. I ate them, because hey, it's fruit. You could occasionally get purple grapes that were a little larger and were sweeter but cost a lot more.

Now look at these fuckers. My wife comes home with green grapes almost as big as my adult male thumb and sweeter than a kiwi or like eating apple juice, and purple ones just the same. They are like two bites a piece. Please tell me that I'm not just going crazy.

Grapes change a lot but:

The green Thompson seedless grape seems to have disappeared, the defacto 1980s table grape, and it was pretty good by my account

I got some grapes the other day the size of small eggs that were good I got no complaints about htat

BaconCopter
Feb 13, 2008

:coolfish:

:coolfish:
Nectarines, guava, strawberries

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
I got some champange grapes a while ago they are tiny so you eat them like greeks on vases by just masdhing the cluster into your mouth and seeing what drops

Pretty good taste I like it

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
tomatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

BaconCopter posted:

Nectarines, guava, strawberries

I don't get guava and my issue with strawberries is that once you refrigerate them they're ruined also they rot and bruise like a goth girl

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Chinatown posted:

tomatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes

Super Sweet 100s are my plant that I always have one of

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010
I judge fruit by 3 criteria: flavor, texture, and convenience

Raspberries are the best fruit. Let me know if this needs further explanation.

BaconCopter
Feb 13, 2008

:coolfish:

:coolfish:

raton posted:

I don't get guava and my issue with strawberries is that once you refrigerate them they're ruined also they rot and bruise like a goth girl

Have you ever had fresh guava from a farm/plantation? It's unreal. I got to try some in Hawaii and have never been able to find the same quality on the mainland.


I did not take longevity of shelf life into account...

Shadow0
Jun 16, 2008


If to live in this style is to be eccentric, it must be confessed that there is something good in eccentricity.

Grimey Drawer
Where I live now, grapes always have massive seeds in them, making them a huge hassle to eat. A lot of people here don't eat the skin as well, which seems wasteful.

Durians are pretty cool because they also double as weapons.

Are bees fruit? Because that's my second pick.

Shadow0 fucked around with this message at 00:46 on Oct 24, 2018

Captain Splendid
Jan 7, 2009

Qu'en pense Caffarelli?
The best peaches, mangos and kiwis are godly.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Apricots, cherries, pineapples. :munch:

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

BaconCopter posted:

Have you ever had fresh guava from a farm/plantation? It's unreal. I got to try some in Hawaii and have never been able to find the same quality on the mainland.


I did not take longevity of shelf life into account...

No

I've had juice from what a ripe guava is and bought them before in the US (pretty unsatisfactory ones but what can do with with tropical fruit)

Also in SEA they eat guava before it goes ripe and at that point it tastes pretty much like an apple

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Apricots, cherries, pineapples. :munch:

Apricots are the best fruit to make jam out of and to dry and also to cook, however they are underwheliming fresh

Automatonic Water
Jul 8, 2012

dig thru the ditches
and burn thru the witches
and slam in the back of my.........
.........DRAGULA


Yams Fan
I like grapes but watch out if you get some cheap rear end "seedless" grapes for 0.88/lb or whatever bc they definitely can still be loaded with woody little seed bits

SO seedless grapes, blackberries, and uhhhhhhh another kind of blackberries

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Shadow0 posted:

Where I live now, grapes always have massive seeds in them, making them a huge hassle to eat. A lot of people here don't eat the skin as well, which seems wasteful.

Durians are pretty cool because they also double as weapons.

Are bees fruit? Because that's my second pick.

Grapes with seed are for wine only imo

Bees are not fruit

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Automatonic Water posted:

I like grapes but watch out if you get some cheap rear end "seedless" grapes for 0.88/lb or whatever bc they definitely can still be loaded with woody little seed bits

SO seedless grapes, blackberries, and uhhhhhhh another kind of blackberries

ONe of the poo poo jobs I had in college had a blackberry bush growing in a vacant lot all on its own there and I would go eat some of them off the bush before going home they were veyr good, it seems like when I buy them at the store though all I'm buying is wet seeds with purple paint on them I don't understand what happened

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

raton posted:

Super Sweet 100s are my plant that I always have one of

I built a box garden along side a 7ft privacy fence at a duplex we were renting for a couple years and planted 2 of these the first year after I built it and had filled it with real nice soil.

...

They exploded. Both plants got like 3-4 feet wide and crawled entirely up and over both sides of the fence producing hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of perfect cherry tomatoes for months. It was ridiculous, even in my 'real' garden today I haven't been able to re-create that (it may have been the 'sweet millions variety, but still, jesus christ I've never seen anything like that and I grew up gardening and stuff)

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
Op is sheep goats? People need to quit changing names and avs imo

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010

raton posted:

ONe of the poo poo jobs I had in college had a blackberry bush growing in a vacant lot all on its own there and I would go eat some of them off the bush before going home they were veyr good, it seems like when I buy them at the store though all I'm buying is wet seeds with purple paint on them I don't understand what happened

Go to sprouts dude, they got fresh bberries

b-minus1
Jul 24, 2008

She's a maniac, maniac
on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before

Colonel Cancer posted:

Are they sitting on the edge of a cliff?
I'll take cucumbers, cumquats and coconuts.

wtf is this list

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let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum

b-minus1 posted:

wtf is this list

cum, cum and nuts is all I see

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