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 The Barracks (Be warned! This doc lists all of the units and support logs for this LP. There's plenty of spoilers!) My website, for those who want to see more of the stuff I write. I'll post LP updates there, too, so keep an eye out for when I start new LPs after this one is finished. CONTENTS Part 1 - Unfortunately, No Robots (that's, uh, this post, you're here!) Part 2 - Craig Fights A Tank Part 3 - Quest For The Ultimate Disrespect Part 4 - The Wilbert Murder Engine Part 5 - Suicide Squad Part 6 - A Tank Fights Michael Part 7 - Things Go Well For Approximately One Mission Part 8 - Meet Mulligan Part 9 - Much-Needed Relaxation Extra: Orange Star's Christmas Party Part 10 - Larry Vs. Blue Moon Part 11 - Oh The Weather Outside Is Frightful Part 12 - Tina Hates Fog Of War Part 13 - Artilleries Continue To Be The Best Unit In The Game Part 14 - Carl Does The Thing Part 15 - Shot Through The Heart Part 16 - The Legend Of Shield Michael Part 17 - A Shameful Display Part 18 - Tactical Bernard Deployment Part 19 - Hitting Things, But Like, REALLY Hard Part 20 - Every Rose Has Its Thorn Part 21 - This Is Complete Bullshit Part 22 - Barry's Last Stand Part 23 - We Are The Ones Who Will Never Be Broken Part 24 - Eagle Attempts To Murder Dave Part 25 - Nightmare Fuel Part 26 - Strictly, This Was All Tina's Fault Part 27 - The Best Unit In The Game’s Glorious Return Part 28 - The Only Appearance Of Paul Part 29 - An Endless Supply Of Hugs And Murder Part 30 - Sonja Vs. Operation HQ Road Trip Part 31 - Please Delete Your Search History Part 32 - I Swear, Rose, I'm Not Trying To Kill You Part 33 - The Worst Possible Reward Part 34 - Fog Rolls In, Francis Rolls Out Part 35 - Thank You, Satan Part 36 - Drake's Son-Of-A-Bitchery Is Off The Charts Part 37 - Up Ship Creek Without A Paddle Part 38 - Jimmy's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Rin Part 39 - You Just Activated My "Crap!" Card Part 40 - My Dude's Theme Goes With Everything Part 41 - The Plan In Action Part 42 - Saving Private Alfonse Part 43 - Once You Go Black, You Never Go Back Part 44 - Michael Dies For The First Time In A While Part 45 - Outgunned And Outnumbered, But Not Outboted Part 46 - Raynald Of Châtillon Rides Again Extra: The Night Before Part 47 - This Is The Perfect Day To Die Part 48 - Dimitri Gets Absolutely hosed Up Part 49 - An Impossible Victory Part 50 - The Lucy Log Of A Stupid Strategy *** PART 1 - Unfortunately, No Robots  …It begins. Which heroes of legend are we playing as today?  Andy, the Man Who Wields Two Wrenches! Or one really deformed wrench, I guess.  Max, the Big Guy With The Weirdest God drat Hands!  Sami, the Ryu Cosplayer!  And with that… Welcome, everyone, to Advance Wars, Fire Emblem’s weird ginger cousin! Whilst not as widely popular as the good ol’ Flame Medallion, Advance Wars does have a devoted, nigh-fanatical following. However, this is my first time ever playing it, so consider this a blind run of sorts.  Helloooo, nurse.   ...Well, I guess I should gently caress around with the name a bit more. I'll go with a classic.  Absolutely.  Right back at ya, brah. i’m so sorry  Nell. A weird name, but like, not the weirdest name in the world. Nelly would have been worse.   Actually, it is my first time. Please be gentle. She goes on to explain a bunch of game modes that we won’t be using. Let’s start the campaign already!  Alright, here we go, I’m ready, I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna impress you, Nell.  Alright, hit me.   Oh, like the Megaman Battle Network game? No? Sorry.   Frozen 2: Olaf Becomes A Military Commander.   How very professional of you.   Times The Name “My Dude” Didn’t Work As Expected: 1  IT'S TIME FOR WAR  nice  wait what we’re starting just like that ok, I guess we’re getting thrown into the action. Here we go!  First mission time! Nell is pretty stylishly dressed, as an aside, but I hope this battle’s going to be happening in a field of violets, because she’s clearly not read up on how camouflage works.  And here we are; it’s day 1, apparently. I’ve been led to believe the days are basically just turns. But hey, if you got paid by the hour, you’d make one action take an entire day, too.  “Perfect for tutorials! That’s what it said in the brochure.”   Oh, this is going to go well.  Say hi to Steve and Barold. They’re gonna be our pals for the next few chapte- missions.   Sounds pretty simple to me!   Oh, god, I think she’s about to start tutorialising. Let’s just skip through that…  One thing I will say - Nell is incredibly polite for a tutorial lady. Usually it’s just commands, but here she is, saying ‘please’ like a real professional.   And so, we begin to move our units. Steve goes to fight the enemy! Though, having performed a single walk of about three steps, Steve is subsequently too tired to do anything else and has thus become this greyish colour. …Well done, Steve.  Yes!  Yes!  Let Barold run away! He’s too young for war!  Alright, Nell, we’ll play by your rules… THIS time. Just you wait.   Oh gently caress, it’s Olaf! I assume.  The beard totally gives it away.  I’m surprised he can even see the battlefield through that beard of his. no I’m not jealous that’s ridiculous  The enemy cometh!  “Uh, guys, I’m kinda stuck on a mountain, I’ll be with you in a sec.”  No poo poo, Nell. You should’ve worn khaki.   Good to hear, I guess? It’s a tutorial mission, I can’t see it going too badly.  Steve lusts for blood!  So, that little percentage window, from what I can tell, is the rough percentage of HP we’ll take from the enemy by attacking. Units have 10 HP in this game, so attacking now should do about 5 damage to the opponent.  Whoa! Steve is actually five dudes. For convenience’s sake, let’s say they’re all called Steve.  “Blood for the blood god!” “loving hell, Steve, no need to enjoy it quite that much.” “SHUT UP PRIVATE”  Just like I’ll score… damage… on you… romantically? Note to self: work on my pickup lines.    Alright, no Fire Emblem enemy-phase units here, then. Player phase is key!  Barold sweatily jogs over to finally put in some work.   Hey! The enemy’s HP is equal to the number of fucks I give about them! How cute.  “You did a murder!”   That’s true. Because if the commander was in the field, we’d be going after them instead of the foot soldiers.  I’m starting to think Olaf has some real emotional hang-ups that he needs to work through. I’d be happy to help him… Into an early grave.  Hm?   Motherfucker. Looks like the Steve Squadron isn’t as useful now.   Barold Brigade! Hop to it!  The Barold Brigade hops to it.  And it goes moderately well for us!   The Steve Squadron finishes.   And that's the map!  The only thing inconceivable here is, uh, how you got into a position of leadership with a beard as laughable as that. … …Nailed it.   Oh joy, we’re gonna be seeing a lot more of this tool, aren’t we?  Best name. 10/10.  Also, looks like I got an A Rank. I’m not too surprised, it was a 3-turn battle with very little freedom to screw up. I’m sure that will change quite soon. For the interested, Speed is based on turncount, Power is based on how much damage I did to the enemy, and Technique is based on how few units I lost.  Well, I think we have enough time for one more quick mission…   drat, son.  Not to poo poo on your theory, Nell, but I’m not convinced Olaf is intelligent enough for a covert attack. He’s about as covert as a car alarm.  They're as good as dead.  Oh, man! The Barold Brigade and the Steve Squadron have new friends! Let’s say… the Dave Division and the Colin Corps. Yeah.   The next mission begins.  Already the map is looking a little more complex. ...Wait, those back two units look unfamiliar…  So… robots? Because they don’t look like robots.  Not robots. You win this round, Google.   Oh, fantastic. No, really, keep brightening my day, Nell. I am having a whale of a loving time here. Any more good news you’d like to share with the class?  God drat you, Nell.  ...Continue.  Barold does his thing.  It goes decently.  Colin, it’s your time to shine!  Is it - just taking a wild guess here - the big fuckoff mountain in the way?  Mountains cost more movement. That’s very Fire Emblem of you. Ah well, I can just use the plains, I can avoid mountains pretty easil-  please stop tutorialising me  Colin murders people. It’s what he’s good at.  Ah, I see. We took less retaliatory damage this time. Mountains aren’t terrible after all.  You're a four. Uh. Out of five. That is.  That’s right, ladies, I’m here all week.  Uh, what? Oh. Yep. I sure was listening.  Steve unloads his gun into the enemy’s face.   And down here, Dave initiates on this poor sap.  A perfect victory.  YOU SUCK, OLAF  YOU PIECE OF gently caress  Oh, right, he might have a point. I did put some of my infantry in the mechs’ ranges. That may be a problem.   Doesn’t being in charge mean being able to competently command an army? Olaf, buddy, I think you’re misinformed about what being in charge means. It means ‘not being useless’.  Oh gently caress. Let’s just hope they don’t do too much damage and take ‘em on the next day.  OK, they hurt. Hang in there, Steve Squadron.   DEFENSIVE COVER, YOU DID NOTHING Well, OK, you reduced damage a bit, but still.  Thanks, Nell. I would not have figured that out.  That's a very casual way of saying "Mech units loving rock your world like there's no tomorrow, don't they?" I have a few questions. a) Am I actually capable of killing them, and b) when do I get some of my own?   Just gonna ignore me, huh. Fine.  I GET IT, NELL. PLEASE LET ME DO THIS.  THANK YOU.   Yes! Alright, Olaf, time to treat your men like two bottles of vodka treat a liver.   Ah, OK. Movement costs are shown here, but any units that can’t traverse a terrain type at all are excluded from the list. Treads and tires don’t seem to like mountains, to the surprise of absolutely nobody.   The first round of combat goes quite well.  Steve takes the forest’s cover and goes on the offensive...  But it was not worth it. The Steve Squadron is in serious danger of being killed next turn.   Down below, things go a little better, due to the more prevalent mountain cover.   We’re just shy of grabbing the kill, though.  And now it’s Olaf’s turn. This… could go badly...  Wait, what? He didn’t even attack? ...Wow, the tutorial did not want the player to fail this mission, huh. Alright, time to finish this guy off.   The one down south is taken care of.  Also, I haven’t mentioned it yet, but the fact that the enemies blow up violently when you kill them is hilarious.   And the one up north is easily dispatched. We’re done here!   Actually, it was thanks to the enemy mechs just flat-out refusing to attack me last turn. That helped a lot.  You could’ve shot me. With your guns.  If only you had guns to shoot me with! That would’ve helped a lot!  YES. BY USING GUNS. AND loving SHOOTING ME WITH THEM.  Times The Name “My Dude” Didn’t Work As Expected: 2  Next time, we shall capture some bases, apparently. (The length of that scroll bar is looking kinda terrifying right now. Just how many tutorial missions are there?) cosmicPostman fucked around with this message at 22:36 on Nov 4, 2019 |
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Oct 26, 2018 13:32
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I feel like I might be the wrong person to say this given anything involving me and LPing either of the two GBA Wars games at this point might come across as "you're doing it wrong, watch me" but you should probably be using screenshots at 2x scale rather than whatever rescale it is you're using, in order to preserve the clear pixel art (and this game has, in my opinion, some really nice pixel art, so it's hurting my brain a little to look at non-integer scaling of it). So more: than:  Other than that, hey, it's always neat to see a fresh take on a game I love. Although I'm curious how long you'll be able to refer to individual units by their own names for... 
Paul.Power fucked around with this message at 14:40 on Oct 26, 2018 |
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Oct 26, 2018 14:37
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Thank you for your feedback! I've already got the screenshots for the second part, but yeah, it's not as clean and crisp as I would've liked. I'll definitely see what I can do about that. As for individual units, I am a caring and benevolent leader who can tell the difference between all my different units. Er. I think. This is going to be interesting...
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Oct 26, 2018 14:40
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One other thing:quote:(The length of that scroll bar is looking kinda terrifying right now. Just how many tutorial missions are there?) Without giving too much away, AW1 has an extremely thorough tutorial.
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Oct 26, 2018 14:56
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Paul.Power posted:Without giving too much away, AW1 has an extremely thorough tutorial. Oh joy. To be fair, I probably need it, as this is my first time, after all. Guess we'll see how this goes.
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Oct 26, 2018 14:58
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Do the last mission and then it unlocks everything, Want to do a true blind run thats how you can get to the story mode and it does not give you any helping hand. Or get a save file with hard mode unlocked and 
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Oct 26, 2018 22:32
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UCS Hellmaker posted:Do the last mission and then it unlocks everything, Want to do a true blind run thats how you can get to the story mode and it does not give you any helping hand. Or get a save file with hard mode unlocked and Hard mode sounds like a hell of a time, but skipping the rest of the tutorial sounds like a nice idea. As previously stated, I do already have the second part done. What would people say to me playing the rest of the tutorial in my own time, then starting the LP proper with the story mode?
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Oct 26, 2018 23:44
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Hard mode is winnable, learn on your feet.
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Oct 26, 2018 23:47
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Do it legit finish the last field training and learn the game in story mode ramming your units into Olaf Also hard mode in this game is 
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Oct 27, 2018 01:36
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Hey I was just thinking about this game earlier today, hell yeah
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Oct 27, 2018 03:19
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I'm happy with you doing the tutorial, personally. It is long but I do like how it builds things up for you. And it's not like it's brain-dead, there are some good curveballs in there. Back when I was 16/17ish and playing the game for the first time I definitely appreciated it (good lord, this game came out half my lifetime ago). Plus Nell's theme is rad  .
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Oct 27, 2018 08:46
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This was very entertaining, I love it. Advance Wars is one my favourite game franchises ever (Dual Strike the 3rd one, being my favourite) and it's a shame we haven't had a new one in TEN YEARS please Nintendo help me you have the power to stop this I feel like AW1's tutorial is good enough that you should probably just keep going. They at least put the effort to have a narrative in the tutorials so it's not a complete waste of time even if you weren't learning important game mechanics. EDIT: Oh yes the music, this franchise has some amazing goddamn music that just gets better and better in future instalments.
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Oct 27, 2018 08:48
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Alright, I think that's a fair argument for doing the tutorial. I'd rather spend some time familiarising myself with the game so that my gameplay in story mode isn't completely horrible to watch. I will agree that the music is goddamn great, I'm loving it so far. quote:And it's not like it's brain-dead, there are some good curveballs in there. Oh god are enemies going to actually attack me EDIT: Also I don't know how frequently LPs usually update on SomethingAwful. Weekly updates are good with you guys, right? I have, like, actual uni to do and a job'n'poo poo, so weekly seems like a decent pace for me.
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Oct 27, 2018 14:43
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Once a week is fine enough
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Oct 27, 2018 15:00
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PART 2 - Craig Fights A Tank So, where were we last time? Ah yes, ready for a new mission.  Cool name, good start.  Drunk, Russian, rear end in a top hat?  You know what? I’m starting to think Olaf’s not the only one with some emotional hangups. These guys clearly have history. they totally boned  Yes! They were tough. Please, please tell me I get some mech units. Please, Nell. Do this for me.  There’s a footstep behind the infantry units. They turn and see a heavyset man with a lit cigarette in his mouth, his eyes fierce and commanding. “And who are you supposed to be?” asks one of the Barolds. “The name’s Craig.” the mech says. “I won’t give you my full name, you ain’t earned that right. I was born on a battlefield. My father was a tank and my mother was a bazooka. I was five when I entered my first battle, and I won. I learnt to drive an APC at eight and became a mercenary fighter throughout my teen years. Fighting was what I was good at, and so I used it to make my fortune. That, in part, has led me here, to you, and to this army. I have no particular interest in the petty conflicts of the Orange Star Army, but you can be damned sure that I’ll fight to the last. There ain’t no unit out there that can kill me and my men. Understand?” “You are so gonna die first.” mutters a Steve.  Time for a new mission. I’m already itching to try out the mechs!  Man, every time I get a new toy to play with, the enemy get something even better. Is that tanks I see up there? Fantastic. There’s also a lot of buildings around… I wonder what they’re about.   No kidding. This must mean we have Military Santa on the ropes, right?  If they can’t cross the mountains, their drivers just aren’t determined enough, I say.  Might be the best idea, honestly… I’m not excited to battle actual tanks.   The Steve Squadron finds a city. Capturing is a multi-turn process, where each city has a HP of sorts. A unit reduces the city’s HP by however much HP the unit has (so currently 10, since we haven’t taken any damage).  Steve does 10 damage by simply standing on it. What are his shoes made of, osmium?  I had to look up the densest substance on earth for that comment. You’d better appreciate it.  Sweet. So, our units become unusable for a while, but hey, capturing cities is probably a good idea.   Units in the process of capturing shouldn’t be damaged or move off the city, because that’ll revert the capturing process.  drat. I wanted to see what a tank would be like crushing a city under it’s treads.  Gareth moves out, and now we’ve gotta let the rest of the army catch up. Let’s move!  Everyone’s in position. Besides Craig, who is lagging behind. Dammit, Craig. Either way, it’s now Military Santa’s turn.  Speak of the devil.  Indeed we have! And this time, we have some mechanised infantry!  OK, but “This area is crucial to the defence of the Alara region” and “my most remote units” are very much at odds, wouldn’t you say? Olaf, if this area is as crucial as Nell says, maybe putting eight units in to protect it was your fault entirely.   And not going across the mountains will also be a piece of cake! By which I mean, I refuse to go across those mountains.  That depends, Olaf. Are they actually going to attack me this time?  The ground troops advance, but the tanks stay where they are.  Very good idea, Nell.   And we own a city! Well done, Steve Squadron. Nice little salute, too.  So I guess you could say Steve reached… First base?  That explains the blue cities.  Switzerland cities, huh? We’ll have none of that in our Alara region.    Nell continues to inform us about handy city stuff.  You minx! You’re not allowed to intrigue me with what other strange purposes funds can be used fo- it’s for buying units isn’t it.   Truly, a dilemma! Gareth is spoilt for choice here.  This is it, my dude. If I can get this right, I can wow her with my strategic know-how and she might actually start falling for me.  GOD DAMMIT. In hindsight, I don’t know why I went for the neutral city.   Yeah, I should’ve realised that. My bad. This does not bode well for my future tactical decisions.  “You’re a tactical disaster area.”  Noted.   “I see absolutely no way that this could go horribly wrong!” Me neither, Nell.  That’s a game over, if the enemy get your HQ. Of course, capturing the enemy HQ also grants you a victory. I will proceed to forget this fact for about half the map.  Alright! Let’s try not to gently caress up horribly, and with that, the map can properly begin!  I need to defeat the upcoming enemies, and to do so I wanna capture the mountain range before they can. Mechs will be better suited for combat, whilst the infantry should focus on capturing buildings.  Which they are doing superbly at the moment. The leftover infantry units are gonna head to the mountains to try and head off the enemy. Come on, Colin!   Olaf moves his troops forward, a little faster than I would like. One of his infantry is already on mountain terrain, which is going to be problematic.  Checking his movement range, however, it seems that he’ll be in range to attack anyone who captures that blue city there. Craig should easily be able to do that, and if that infantry does attack, he won’t be on the mountain terrain anymore.  Unfortunately, that strategy won’t work up here. My infantry are already in range, so I’m just gonna have to gang up on the enemy next turn and hope it works out well.  My three capturing units finish their capturing. I guess we’ve literally painted the towns red!  Craig prepares to lure the enemy.  I move Steve slightly closer to the combat. The 3-space limit for infantry is not a lot, especially for someone used to Fire Emblem’s 5, 6 and even 7 or 8 spaces of movement.  And again, they don’t attack! Good god, Olaf, do you actually want to win or not?!  Craig finishes the capture down south...  ...but that does mean Gareth can’t get any closer to the action. “Hey, Craig, stop blocking me, man!” “Ain’t my fault you can only move two spaces.” “YOU CAN ONLY MOVE TWO SPACES AS WELL CRAIG, YOU AREN’T SPECIAL”  I can fire on this infantry from the safety of the mountains myself, so I may as well.  It’s not a particularly interesting battle, with both sides doing squat damage.   Barold gets his pick of the litter here, but the counter damage won’t be fun.  I eventually park Barold on a base without attacking. At least he’ll heal some of the damage he takes. If the enemies even attack me.  Time to kill this infantry. Actually, thinking about it…  If I attack from down here instead with Colin, the space above the enemy is free for Dave to take the kill.  Now that's strategy!  But wait, the plan gets even more exciting.  I wonder if Olaf’s men are pacifists? That’d explain why they don’t attack on their turns.  Aha! I planned this and everything! Gareth is free to open fire on the mech. no, I promise you, I did plan this I’m a good strategist   It’s an even trade-off. Looks like that mountain defence really is helping Olaf’s men out. Still, we did a bit of damage, and that’s a good thing. Olaf’s turn next.  And it is at this moment that I realise why his men aren’t attacking - they’re making a beeline for my HQ! Battle stations, everyone - destroy those units at all cost! Thinking about it, yelling “battle stations” is probably unnecessary. We’re already on a battlefield, I can probably assume that everyone’s ready for battle. Though, if this is anything like Fire Emblem, they’re probably reading books and sorting out their relationship issues.   The Gareth Group are looking a bit under the weather at this point. Mechs are no joke.   I focus my fire on the infantry next to the mech for the time being. There’s just one lone gunman left!   And just one guy left again. Also, don’t stand in the street, you guys! You might get run over. By a tank or something. Or that car-looking thing in the background there.  There’s no overkill like doing more damage to an enemy than you have to.  Because. Uh. That’s the definition of overkill.  Hey, what’s this? A free space for a unit to destroy that mech? Yes please.   Your bullet transaction has been completed. Thanks for shopping with Death Co.   Since I had that mech dealt with, I can use my own mech to attack the other enemy mech. Mech mech mech. Meh.  Olaf’s turn. But he’s running out of units and is at quite the disadvantage now.  WHY Ugh, forget it. Apparently units just don’t attack people in this game.  I want to lure these tanks and see just how powerful they are, so I move my mech - an infantry should be more than enough to take care of that weakened mech.   And I was right. I am an excellent strategist!  I mean, just look at this perfect formation. My strategic skills know no-  Was that the tank from across the bridge? But it was miles away! How much range do these things have?  Not only do they hit like, well, a tank, but they also took absolutely no retaliation damage.  Oh god. I regret everything.  Not a scratch. These tanks are powerful - Olaf was right. I’m sorry for doubting you, Olaf.   I’m also sorry in general. Even the Craig Contingent take heavy damage.  ...But Craig wasn’t bullshitting about his prowess earlier! He and his men land a solid hit on the tanks, proving that they can in fact be damaged!  Well, gently caress. That was a rough turn - even though the mechs can do damage to the tanks, it still isn’t a lot of damage and they take a ton in retaliation. Both of them are damaged, too, so it’s not going to be a reliable strategy. What to do, what to do…  Retreat! Retreat!  Except you. Shoot that tank.  That… was a bad idea, wasn’t it. Poor Craig.  Olaf’s turn. The tanks are unable to get past the mountains as expected, which means that everyone is safe! Everyone besides…  “Gah!” yells Craig, falling back with his bazooka clutched in his hand. “Looks like… I’m not coming back this time… sorry, mother…” One of the Daves stares at Craig with mounting horror. “No, Craig, no!” “It’s fine…” Craig whispers, struggling to speak. “Just… destroy this Olaf bastard for me, alright, Dave?” “I will.” Dave says. “I promise you.” Craig’s eyes close, and his breathing slows. He opens one eye and looks directly at the Dave. “I think this army earned my respect when you went toe-to-toe with tanks. My full name… is Craigsworth…” The Daves can’t help but burst into laughter. “loving Craigsworth?! Holy poo poo, that’s incredible. Ahahahah!” “gently caress… you… guys…” And with that, Craig and his mercenary band are slain.  No point even trying to fight these guys. 4% is absolutely nothing.  I simply have everyone retreat to safety whilst I desperately try to think of a plan. And then it occurs to the Daves that there might be a way to attain victory.  The Dave Division moves out.  After a few turns of Daves walking to places, I get bored. Gareth’s Group has healed up on the base for a few turns, so I decide to take my boredom out on this tank.  It goes amazingly well.   Olaf’s turn rolls around, but he doesn’t inflict much damage. We might be able to kill this tank!  Dave, meanwhile, reaches the enemy HQ, and none of the tanks can reach him!  Looks like we… capt a bitch.   That is great, but I do feel bad. Craig died for nothing, really, and I could’ve done that map way quicker had I realised earlier that I didn’t need to fight the tanks at all.  she’s finally gonna confess her love come on come onnnn   ...Sigh. No need to look so happy about it, Nell. What happens to the funds? Do you just put them into your own pocket? I bet you do. I mean, those garish violet uniforms you wear can’t come cheap.  Olaf is understandably irked that his tanks were in, strategically, the worst possible location on this map.   He then appears to suffer a brief bout of amnesia and cannot fathom what just happened. I believe the kids call it “getting owned”, Olaf. That is what’s going on.  They were doing their best, to be fair, in the face of an uncaring mountain range that they could not pass through.  drat. Looks like we finally annoyed him enough to pay proper attention to these PIVOTAL BATTLES FOR CRUCIAL TERRITORY CONTROL.  This guy just cannot catch a break. Maybe next time, he’ll actually attack us, like, every turn. It’s a crazy proposition, I know, but it might just help him win.  Yes! The name works perfectly this time around. Thank you very much, Nell!  Another A Rank, but my technique and speed have dropped - mostly for losing Craig and then having Dave spend about 7 days walking across the map.  Next time - we join! Whatever that means. Now that we’re done here, though, I’m gonna go mourn Craig for a bit. An easily-avoidable death like that just makes me sad. That said, if anyone wants to suggest names for my new units, feel free to let me know. You've seen how the names work, so, uh, go nuts. cosmicPostman fucked around with this message at 09:19 on Sep 7, 2019 |
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Nov 2, 2018 11:52
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Poor Craig. He deserved much better. If only his commander knew that tanks were stronger than people. A harsh lesson indeed... Anyway, I sent some troops to assist you for next time. I don't have high hopes after witnessing your foray into the Spire Hills, but I'm leaving them in your hands. The leader of the group is a guy named Reginald. I hope you'll get along.
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Nov 2, 2018 13:08
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RIP Craig, he will be truly irreplaceable. For a name, Reginald was going to be my first choice as well, but since that's been done, I'll suggest Bill.
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Nov 2, 2018 16:25
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Yeah, I've noticed the AI in this mission is a little odd about not attacking. There's a logic of sorts - you get a defence bonus from the city, *and* you heal up 2HP afterwards, so it might actually put them at a disadvantage overall. Certainly the 3HP mech at the end there "knew" it would be suicidal to attack, not that not attacking did them much good. Mechs can do good damage to tanks, but they also get hit hard by them, so they need that first strike - which, given their short movement range, means they either need superior numbers (or some other kind of distraction) or useful blocking terrain - i.e. mountains or rivers. Of course, sometimes it's about going round problems rather than through them, as here. Let's have an Eric Paul.Power fucked around with this message at 23:28 on Nov 3, 2018 |
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Nov 3, 2018 23:15
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Paul.Power posted:Yeah, I've noticed the AI in this mission is a little odd about not attacking. There's a logic of sorts - you get a defence bonus from the city, *and* you heal up 2HP afterwards, so it might actually put them at a disadvantage overall. Certainly the 3HP mech at the end there "knew" it would be suicidal to attack, not that not attacking did them much good. Ah, interesting. I didn't note the defence bonus, that would've explained why the mech at the end wouldn't have attacked. Still, it is kind of odd, after being used to Fire Emblem's "commit suicide on nearest 20def unit" enemy AI... is the AI in Advance Wars smarter generally, would you say?
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Nov 4, 2018 21:22
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The AI just has a much greater number of weapons(indirect fire is huge) and variables(fog of war is like every third map) My dude. Botes aren't even covered in the tutorial. Advance wars 1 is easily as long a play through as fire emblem 7. It just has more unit types by far.
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Nov 4, 2018 22:23
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Botes are eventually covered in the tutorial. Advance Wars 1 has... eighteen different units, if I recall correctly. Two infantry units, eight vehicles, four air units and four botes. The bote tutorial is a bit of an afterthought, but it's there. The AI isn't great and is easily fooled and distracted, but at the same time since all your units are very mortal, all the AI needs to be a significant threat is sheer numbers. It's going to be interesting to see how you overcome that! Paul.Power fucked around with this message at 00:21 on Nov 5, 2018 |
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Nov 5, 2018 00:14
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I've got Michael here, but he insists he's a lover, not a fighter. He used to drive tanks for Olaf, which he thought would be cool since they stay locked in by those mountains. He defected when he was told they would need to use their weapons at some point. Don't know if you have a use for someone who doesn't want to fire a weapon, and is already disliked by the enemy commander. Maybe in the mission after this one?
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Nov 5, 2018 07:07
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Sjs00 posted:The AI just has a much greater number of weapons(indirect fire is huge) and variables(fog of war is like every third map) My dude. Botes aren't even covered in the tutorial. Oh wow. I did beat FE7 recently, though, so I think I should be able to handle this. Fog of war every third map sounds like the loving worst, cannot wait for that... quote:Advance Wars 1 has... eighteen different units, if I recall correctly. Two infantry units, eight vehicles, four air units and four botes. The bote tutorial is a bit of an afterthought, but it's there. My sub-goal for this playthrough is to try and minimise losses on my side. I have no idea how plausible that is, but hey, I'm gonna try my best. I laugh in the face of sheer numbers! (Note: I do not actually laugh in the face of sheer numbers. I am not looking forward to the dudepile.)
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Nov 5, 2018 09:47
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Switching over from Fire Emblem's "no one is allowed to die, ever" strategies to Advance Wars is a big shift in mindset, yes. Lots of instinctive things to unlearn when sometimes you have to lose units.
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Nov 5, 2018 17:24
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cosmicPostman posted:My sub-goal for this playthrough is to try and minimise losses on my side. I have no idea how plausible that is, but hey, I'm gonna try my best. I laugh in the face of sheer numbers! (although the last two times I've played AW as it stands are Advance Campaign and Advance Wars By Web, so the ol' Stalin "one death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic" line is burnt into my brain by now) Kangra posted:I've got Michael here, but he insists he's a lover, not a fighter. He used to drive tanks for Olaf, which he thought would be cool since they stay locked in by those mountains. He defected when he was told they would need to use their weapons at some point. Don't know if you have a use for someone who doesn't want to fire a weapon, and is already disliked by the enemy commander. Maybe in the mission after this one? 
Paul.Power fucked around with this message at 22:41 on Nov 5, 2018 |
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Nov 5, 2018 22:36
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Oh boy, I remember getting Advance Wars 1 it was quite an experience since I'd never played Fire Emblem before that or any of the Super Nintendo Wars games. I think it really developed my current love for Turn Based Strategy games
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Nov 5, 2018 22:56
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I totally hope you can manage to keep up the stories of the units, even once you're forced into choosing WHO you are sending to certain death.
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Nov 8, 2018 07:48
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Faylone posted:I totally hope you can manage to keep up the stories of the units, even once you're forced into choosing WHO you are sending to certain death. If Dave dies before he attains his revenge, I WILL be resetting. I cannot allow it.
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Nov 8, 2018 11:42
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There is a way to go low unit death. You just make sure to use one specific unit as distractions see?
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Nov 8, 2018 17:32
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PART 3 - Quest For The Ultimate Disrespect Welcome back! Today, we do joining and stuff. Only a short update today because I'm a little strapped for time, so let's get going ASAP!  Man, if they did bone, Nell certainly regretted it the day after. I bet he never called her back.   Welp, that sucks.  oh goddammit   So they couldn't find... the LOST Fortress? I'm sorry. Go on.  I'm actually not sorry, that was hilarious.  Right! Here we go!  This should be interesting.  Ooh, do I get tanks? I see tanks.  Hm.  God, that means he might put actual effort in today. Right, I'll need to be on top of my game.   So I would've had more tanks but they all died? Well poo poo. The assorted groups arrive at the Lost Fortress Outpost HQ. Dave 4 points in the distance, and the other Daves, Barolds, Colins and Steves look to where he's pointing. "Hey!" yells a guy. He's piloting a tank, and all around him is the wreckage of other tanks. "You're the cavalry, right?" "That's us." Dave says. He glowers at the dead men all around. "What happened here?" "I'm Bill." the guy replies. "Formerly one of the Bills in the Bill Battalion, but..." He looks wistfully at the wreckage and lets out a sigh. One of the Colins tilts his head awkwardly. "...Blue Moon isn't holding back, huh. This is... a real battle." "We're trained soldiers, Colin." a Barold replies. "There's no time to mourn."   Yeah, sounding a retreat seems like a good option.  Gotcha.  As we discovered in the other part, you heal when you're on an allied city/base.  So, uh, let's do that thing.  It's just as right as you and me being together. Was... was that better?  yes we know   We can't move it to a safe place, but next turn it'll be in range of both cities, so it can heal up.   No?  poo poo. We need a meatshield.   Uh Yes I meant defensive wall Definitely not meatshield  Reginald, leader of the Reginald Regiment, steps forward. "I offer myself and my men as a defensive wall. By the blood in my body, they shall not get past us! For Motherland Orange Star!" "For the Motherland!" call his men.  "He seems to be loving suicidal, anyway"  The Reginald Regiment move in.   Yes, Nell, I know the basics of strategy.  "We'll hold for as many turns as you need!" yells Reginald. "For Motherland Orange Star!"  ...I'm sorry, Nell, is that all these men are to you? Units whose lives are equivalent to a number of days? Absolutely disgusting.  Right, yes, let's get everyone forward. This is going to be tough.  I move Steve, Barold, Colin, Dave and Gareth forward. The Bill Battalion is healing on the city, and the Eric There-Are-No-loving-Words-Meaning-“Brigade”-Beginning-With-E is safe from assault for this turn.  Oh god here he comes.   Hey, he's actually recognising us as a credible threat! That's good. Admittedly, I will not prove that I deserve to be called a credible threat in this map. Spoilers: I am the world's worst strategist.  "Hey, gently caress you man" says Bill.  Reginald Regiment, prepare your collective anuses.   Ouch. You know, mechs are not great meatshields, I've decided. 6 loving damage.  The rest of Team Dipshit move forward, being vaguely threatening.  Yeah, this would be a lot better if we had a working tank already.   we'll have to what  I'm sorry, Bill, I have no idea what I'm about to do to you  The Bill Battalion and the Eric There-Are-No-loving-Words-Meaning-“Brigade”-Beginning-With-E have been merged! The Bill + Eric Battalion has been born. "Bill, do we have to be sharing the same tank?" "Leave me alone, Eric, I need this right now." "please stop touching me"   That is kind of an issue, Nell. I had two tanks before.   Well, I guess that's true. I suppose it's a nice quick way to get a stronger unit.  Spoilers: I will find it necessary.  Because that went so well last time? At least give me some advice.     Nell's right. No point capturing the HQ - we have the firepower to just take out his units, but we have to make sure we do it safely. I have a plan for this map. The infantry and mechs can cross the water, so I'll head them off with my own infantry and mechs - they'll prioritise targeting those over my tank, which is good. One tank vs two is not going to be fun, so I have to weaken the tanks with my own mechs first, I think.  First things first, get Reginald out of there. We need to replace him with a fresh meats- defensive wall.  I briefly consider firing on the tank, but I'm not sure that's a good idea. It'll weaken it a bit, but it'll probably do enough counter damage to kill me on the enemy phase. Best to play it safe here, I think.  Meanwhile, this rear end in a top hat is close enough to fire on the Dave Division up north. We need to distract him from doing that.  The Steve Squadron goes to help Barold intercept. It brings back old memories of the first ever mission for the pair of them.  And this is how we look at the end of this turn. Let's hope things don't go too horribly wrong.  Well, this is a good start. They go for the cities instead of my dude's dudes.  The tank also doesn't hit as hard. It's taking some serious retaliation damage now! Well, serious for tanks, anyway.  Things aren't looking great, but...  The Bill/Eric Battalion is ready to roll. Yessssss.  Steve declares open season on Team Dipshit.  And just like old times, Barold finishes.  It is a good day down south.  Further up, my damaged Gareth Group can't do anything worthwhile against this tank.   It's time to join! I merge Gareth and Reginald to make the, uh, Gareth/Reginald Group. "FOR MOTHER ORANGE STAR!" "I hate you all already. Please kill me." sighs Gareth. "Craig, why did you have to leave me with all these idiots..?"  Bill/Eric move out. If I can take out that first tank without using Bill/Eric, that means I can have them go toe-to-toe with the other tank. 2 vs 1 is a little rough, but 1 on 1 should work out fine for me.   Oh yeah, these guys did their thing. I don't know how it's going to help them, but they seem happy.  This is going well! I can hold out for a while now - that weakened tank isn't doing much to my mechs anymore.  Now it's my turn, and I can take out this tank.  I made a grievous tactical error! Can anyone see what it is?  Briefly, I consider moving Bill/Eric in, but I elect not to. I want to lure the tank forward so I can engage it on forest terrain, which has a bit of a defensive buff.  In lieu of something to do, Squadron Steve heads to the city to heal that bit of damage.  Yep, I see no grievous tactical errors here. None at a-  Oh, for a minute I thought something terrible was going to happen. It's just city capturing.  Alright, the tank took the bait. That's goo-  7 DAMAGE? ARE YOU making GBS threads ME? The last man standing, Reginald, turns to Gareth's bloody body and collapses beside him. He stares at the treads of the tanks, where a sorrowful-looking Blue Moon driver is sat looking at him. He's barely older than fifteen, and he looks shaken by what he has done. Reginald crawls forward, reaching for his heavy artillery, but it's out of reach and too heavy to move. The sun is so hot overhead... "F... for... for the motherland..." he groans. "I die having... done... my service..." He collapses, face down in the mud. Gareth begins to drag himself away, the only survivor of the brutal attack. "NO!" Dave yells, his voice cracking with emotion. Colin and Barold are also shocked by what they have seen. "NOT ANOTHER! Why do good men have to die? Why did this have to happen? TELL ME WHY!" I have no answer for the Dave Division.  The battlefield is quiet, but not for long.  Bill and Eric have something to say to this loving tank rear end in a top hat.  And what they said was "bullets".  I should probably start picking off these non-tank dudes as well, before they become a problem.  That also goes well.  No, Dave, don't be silly. You can't do squat against a tank.  Dave sulkily retreats. He wants revenge, and he wants it now.  The tank, however, also wants revenge.  It was a mistake. "It's time." a Dave says. "Commander Dave?" asks another Dave in confusion. His commander begins to walk towards the tank. "Commander! No!" Dave turns to his Division. "You can't do this." one of the Daves says. "It's suicide. And for what? Don't you remember what Craigsworth asked us to do? Hahah, Craigsworth, that never gets old..." "Oh, I remember." Dave says. "He said to get revenge. So here we go."  Time to prepare the Ultimate Disrespect.  GET hosed   The rest of this map is basically just cleanup.   I have no mercy for these guys.   HENCE THE OVERKILL   This guy is no trouble.  One left.  And he approaches!  He gets foregone-conclusion’d.  Thank god for that. That could have been handled better in the second half, honestly.   ...Thanks, Nell.  "I especially liked the part where a ton of your men got massacred by a tank."  I KNEW THESE GUYS HAD HISTORY TOGETHER   Well, yeah, it's definitely not down to my tactical decision-making.  I thought that's what THIS time was supposed to be?  Consider them marked, Military Santa. Next time - this ends.  I still love that name. It's great.  Next time, some more poo poo happens. Looks like we get some new toys, or at the very least, some new commands to play with. Thanks to SoundwaveAU for suggesting Reginald (I am so sorry), OOrochi for suggesting Bill and Paul.Power for suggesting Eric! Those who suggested names that haven't shown up, don't worry, they're coming. Keep the names coming! Also, in the name of giving these faceless soldiers some personality, I'm going to end each part with a Fire Emblem-esque support conversation between two dudes in the ranks. As well as suggesting names, feel free to vote on which two dudes you want to see have a conversation next! *** The Barracks: Steve and Barold 1 “Hey, man.” Steve says, seeing Barold sat eating at a table in the barracks. He glances up as Steve comes to sit by him. “Hi.” “You alright?” Steve asks. “You didn’t look good after the battle today.” Barold sighs. “I’m not sure, Steve. We lost some good men today. And it keeps happening. That My dude guy… I’m not sure about him.” “He seems wet behind the ears. If I was a more cynical man, I’d say that he’s still in training. There’s no way he’s a professional Orange Star strategist.” “Yeah.” Barold replies. “Steve, do you think we’re going to die?” “Barold…” Steve murmurs, but he cannot meet Barold’s gaze. “I…” “Oh, god. I had so much to do. I only joined the army because it made my mam proud. She bought my uniform. And when I told her I got to lead my own Brigade, she… she was so proud. She told the whole family.” “Stop talking like that.” Steve says, putting his hand on Barold’s. “We’re not dead yet, Barold, and I promise, whilst I live, I will not allow you to die. You’re gonna go home after the war, and you’re gonna see your mam again. OK?” Barold stares at Steve, seeing the fierce determination in his eyes. “…OK.” Steve nods, taking a sandwich from the platter on the table, and stands up to leave. “Hey.” Barold says. “I think we’ve known each other for long enough. Please call me Barry.” Steve smiles. “Alright, Barry. See you later, yeah? Come join us for poker.” “Sounds good.” Barold replies. Steve walks away, his mouth twisted into a wry grin. He has a mission now, and he intends to see it through. cosmicPostman fucked around with this message at 22:12 on Feb 9, 2019 |
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Nov 9, 2018 12:47
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I feel like rolling in with the tank here for first strike damage and to protect the mech would have been best. You'd need to protect it from a mech flank by stationing infantry in the river, but it feels like your best option. Also, AI quirk #1: that capturing mech is going to try and capture that city come hell or high water, so until it's done with that you can safely ignore it. Heck, if you damage it it'll take longer to capture and also stay out of your hair for longer. e: looking back at how I handled it (sorry, sorry), you probably should have attacked here. Let's dig out the archive footage of what happened when I did that:  Mechs don't hold up that well defensively against tanks, but they pack a punch on attack. Now normally when an enemy unit gets knocked down to 2HP they retreat, but weirdly Olaf didn't do that here. Whether Field Training has special rules active or not I don't know, but here's what Olaf did:  He just sat there. AIs 
Paul.Power fucked around with this message at 11:46 on Nov 11, 2018 |
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Nov 11, 2018 11:17
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Paul.Power posted:Mechs don't hold up that well defensively against tanks, but they pack a punch on attack. Now normally when an enemy unit gets knocked down to 2HP they retreat, but weirdly Olaf didn't do that here. Whether Field Training has special rules active or not I don't know, but here's what Olaf did: Weird. Admittedly, yeah, I really could've handled it better, but I'm still learning. Played through the next few missions, and I managed to botch those up less horribly. Good to know that units basically always go for the capture, that should help a lot with later missions.
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Nov 11, 2018 11:53
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cosmicPostman posted:Played through the next few missions, and I managed to botch those up less horribly.
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Nov 11, 2018 11:56
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Paul.Power posted:I must say, I'm very keen to see your take on Tank Ops As far as I remember it was panicking, using APCs as distractions, and desperately praying that I wouldn't get loving crushed. ...When I say "less horribly" I only mean a very small amount. Still mostly me having no idea what to do, honestly.
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Nov 11, 2018 23:02
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Ha, really enjoying your characterizations. Definitely looking forward to seeing how you do on some of the harder levels.
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Nov 12, 2018 04:36
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cosmicPostman posted:using APCs as distractions, As is proper.
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Nov 12, 2018 22:49
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cosmicPostman posted:Keep the names coming! We need a Barry. Also, this game gets balls hard very fast and I never made it more than maybe 10 missions into the actual campaign. Fire Emblem is more my style.
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Nov 16, 2018 09:36
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PART 4 - The Wilbert Murder Engine Welcome back once again! On today's update, we finally get to learn our APC ABCs, which I'm sure some mission namer at IS was really pleased about. I bet he got a raise for that excellent punnery. Speaking of superiors being pleased with their subordinates...  Hey, nice to get some recognition for my excellent tactical decisions. Definitely haven't caused the death of numerous men.  This is a lot of good news, Nell. Are you feeling OK?  I don't even know what that is and I'm already excited. Sounds like it murders things a lot, and I am down with that!  You're being too nice, Nell. What's the catch?   i'm concerned  Keep up this trend of good news, Nell.  Hey, it was good news! I guess I should have predicted that though, since this mission literally has APC in the title. Ah well.  ...What's up with the artillery unit?  Alright, let's do it! Our friendly APC unit is the Michael Multitude, led by Michael. And - you guessed it - populated by Michaels.  The pun in the title is kind of funny, but it just looks like someone slapped a keyboard when they were naming this mission.  And here's our battlefield for today. They're slowly getting more complex.    This is called "Nell ruins all the goodwill I had towards her at the start of this mission in three screenshots". It'll go up in the screenshot hall of fame one day.  That's rough. Admittedly, I didn't realise units had a limit on ammo and fuel up until this point, so I guess it's handy to know.  God drat it. "Sorry, guys." the man controlling the mighty artillery says. He shrugs, and the rest of the army just stare blankly at him. "Nah, it's not your fault." a Colin says with a smile. "Who are you, anyway?" "In our prime, we were the leading artillery division of Orange Star. The Wilbert Warriors. But now we aren't nearly as powerful." Wilbert replies. "So, what, you're the Jeigan?" asks Bill. Eric, still sharing his tank, nods in agreement with the question. "I don't think that's how this game works." Wilbert says. "Hey! Stop breaking the fourth wall!" a Dave shouts.  Well, Nell seems to think it'll be alright. What've you got up your sleeve?   Ah. That helps massively.  Michael heads off to refuel our new pal.   And with that, the Wilbert Warriors are ready for action once again!   This sounds absurdly overpowered. Although I haven't encountered any problems with fuel and ammo so far. I guess that'll become more of a problem once the maps get longer?  Oh, sweet, so bases don't just heal, huh? Good to know.  ...At what, Nell.  oh my GOD IT HAS RANGE  And does shitloads of damage. Welcome to the loving team, Wilbert. Please never leave me.  I was so excited at the damage I hadn't even noticed that the tank hadn't countered.   "We also call it the 'gently caress You' button."  Right, yeah, let's get going.  NELL STOP TALKING   Kill the dudes? Seems to have been working so far.  I am not in agreement with Nell here.  Still, Bill/Eric move out.   And Nell quickly contradicts herself. Siiiiiigh.  Well, yeah, that was the plan, but they have 2 movement. Which is ridiculously small, even for Advance Wars. What are they doing, lying on the floor and pulling themselves forward with their tongues only?  Look at this. It's ridiculous.  I think I have this sorted.  ...Even if you say no, she still gives you a little bit of advice.   Thank you Nell you can go now  My first priority is to get some men down here and take those neutral buildings before Olaf's forces can. I think two infantry should be able to handle it, so I send Dave and Steve down.  Once my forces are moved, it's Pudgy Blue Man's turn.  I like how this little war is becoming more and more personal for Olaf.  She's determined, sure, but she's not bound, Olaf. Please don't bring your bedroom antics into this.  Whatever floats your boner, man.  His infantry move forward to take the neutral buildings, and his tanks head up north, where they will soon encounter the Wall of Eric/Bill.    "Tell him to stop dragging himself by his tongue and walk like a normal person. Please."  We move Gareth onto the APC...   Goddamn, the Michael Multitude is full of surprises. APCs are really growing on me.   It's like Fire Emblem's Rescue command, but it actually makes some semblance of sense.  I will make sure to remember that.  Yes!  INTO THE WATER WITH YOU, GARETH!  I didn't really. But I could've. And I want all of my troops to remember that. Their lives are in my fickle hands.  Eh, I figured. APCs couldn't be perfect.  For sure. Gareth enjoyed the nice drive. "Uh, boss..." murmurs Michael. Anyway, Michael, time to see what you can do in combat. "Well, um..." Michael replies.  What. "I'm a pacifist..." Michael says. "I don't like violence, but I wanted to do my part. I got forcibly conscripted... but now I can drive an APC. It helps people, but it's not a violent job. So I think that works." My disappoint is immeasurable and my day is ruined.  Nell continues with her bad news as per.   I think I can make that work. So artillery are hella powerful, but you have to prepare their attacks a turn in advance. I like that! Right, time to get on with the map now.  Firstly, I move Wilbert over to the edge of the river here. He'll be in range to fire on anything in that space just below our base, and that's exactly where I need him right now.  Meanwhile, my city-capturing plan has hit a minor snag. This placement means I can't capture that right city without being fired on. I can still get the one on the left though, so I keep Dave and Steve focussed on their mission.  Down we go.  Meanwhile, up top, Bill and Eric fire on this tank rear end in a top hat.  They stand no chance with my superior defensive terrain.  The end of the first proper turn looks like this. I'm hoping that the tank won't suicide on Bill and Eric. If it does, the tank below might be able to kill them.  This rear end in a top hat does his usual thing of capturing cities and ignoring my dude's dudes.  And up top, everything went swimmingly.   Wilbert shows his strength and sportsmanship by obliterating an innocent tank on 1HP with no chance to counterattack.  I like Wilbert.  Gareth does a thing.  Gareth did a thing.   Despite his mission being "capture things", Dave cannot hold back his lust for revenge and just goes for this enemy infantry.  Steve's got his mind on the mission, however.  I consider doing this briefly, but I realise that it's probably not the best approach right now.  Also, hey, look. We got another mech unit after all my others died violently. I'm sure things will be different for this guy! Meet the Barry Band. I'm going to be picking them up in the APC to get them over to the field of combat before the end of the week.  Olaf's turn. I'm not too concerned about Dave and Steve, but I am quite worried about that tank up top.  Turns out the Dave Division did do something useful - now that they're damaged, they can't capture this city fully. That helps a lot, actually - it means the enemy doesn't yet have defensive terrain and a source of healing.   Not great. Even with the healing next turn, we don't have the firepower to end this tank.  Also the infantry just kinda wander around. I'm not sure what they're doing.  The Steve Squadron complete the mission.  This is why I didn't move down to attack. Wilbert can one-shot this rear end in a top hat; all we had to do was lure him into position.  Absolutely spectacular.  And this leaves the last weakened tank open...  To getting completely wrecked.  I suddenly have a brainwave, and instead of loading Barry into the APC, Michael decides to pick up Barold.  With the tanks gone, so long as we stay out of that artillery's range, we have a free shot at the enemy HQ! Michael speeds off to make it happen. Meanwhile, those infantry aren't doing much, but they are kind of annoying, so I fire on them anyway.   Gareth can choose who he wants here, but I decide to finish the leftmost one before I start attacking the guy on the right.  It goes well. This map hasn't been all that much trouble so far. Probably because the enemy's artillery has been next to useless.  The Barry Band are forced to do the tongue-crawl since their ride vanished.  I decide that since I'm gunning for the enemy HQ, they'll probably end up doing the same to me at some point. Dave, already damaged in the fight, is the perfect option to stand up there and block the path.  The enemy finally capture their building though. I really don't know why I moved Dave back - I recorded this a week or so ago, so I genuinely don't remember what I was thinking. I was probably because Dave was injured and I'm paranoid.  On the enemy phase, the mech comes up to Steve's fortress (Ft. Steve) but doesn't attack. Kind of a bad move on his part.   The Michael Multitude drops Barold off at the enemy's front door. "Go get 'em!" Michael says in encouragement. "But, like, nonviolently." "Got it." Barold says, leading the brigade towards the headquarters.  This guy is still annoying me by doing nothing so I shoot him. I, uh... have violent tendencies, it seems.  I feel better now.  Since the enemy is pretty much demolished up north, I take Wilbert south-west to help out our infantry. It could be problematic if they decide to gang up on one of my dudes.  I'm just about to do this when I think of a better option...   One shot...   ...Two shots. And I don't need to worry at all now - the mech is guaranteed to go for the city instead of my men, which gives Steve and Dave a bit of breathing room.  There we go. "But my dude!" you say, worriedly. "Won't the superior defensive terrain be helping him?" And I would say "Yes..."  "...But Wilbert gives absolutely no shits about superior defensive terrain."   I fire on him. It doesn't go as well as I'd hoped.   And again. Of course, I don't have to worry about enemy phase - now he's damaged, it's gonna take another two turns to capture that building. And that building is now in range of the Wilbert Murder Engine.  Oh yeah, I'm also at the enemy's stronghold, so it doesn't even matter.  Bless him, he's trying.  And with this turn, I have won the map.  BUT FIRST  Ah. I feel better now.  Right, NOW I have won the map.  I sure did. I want twenty.   You know, I swear Olaf's text was supposed to use the blue text border. I haven't been paying that much attention, though, maybe it's intentional.  He says this every time and I love it.  Naturally.  Next time! I'm gonna try and do two maps. And one of them is Tank Ops. Speaking as somebody who's already done that mission, I can say... the next update is gonna be a bitch. Here we go. *** The Barracks: Dave and Michael 1 Michael walks into the barracks and begins to open up a lunchbox. Dave, walking in just behind him, smirks and sits beside him. “You have a lunchbox?” “Yep.” Michael says, beaming. “My mom prepared it for me when I was a kid, and since I joined the army, I’ve been using it to keep my lunch in. It reminds me of home.” “Fair.” Dave replies. He sits there for a moment, then sighs. “Are you OK?” Michael asks. “Even compared to most army fellows, you seem angry. Uh, sorry. Just something I noticed.” “No, no, you’re right.” Dave says. “I lost a good friend a few battles back - his name was Craig. I swore to him that I would destroy Olaf. It… it weighs on my mind. Every battle, I pray that a stray bullet might end my suffering, but I know that I cannot falter.” “I see…” murmurs Michael. He takes a bite of his sandwich, deep in thought. Dave is staring at the wall, his mind taken back to the battle where Craigsworth lost his life. “Yeah… I have to see it through. That’s why I fight my hardest, all the time. But after it’s all over, I’m going to rest.” “I get you.” Michael replies. “I wish I could go home. I miss my family. My little sister, Michelle…” “Yeah, did you say something about being conscripted?” Michael looks at him blankly. “Yup. Why, did you not get conscripted?” “I joined of my own volition. When did they start conscripting people?” “I don’t know.” Michael replies. “But I wish I didn’t have to go. I got bullied in the training camps because I didn’t want to hurt people.” “I don’t want to hurt people, but I know I have to.” Dave replies, but he puts a hand on Michael’s shoulder. “Stick to your guns, Michael. If you can get through this war without taking a life, you can go home a happy man. So please, don’t let other people mock you for your choice. I think it’s brave.” Michael smiles and looks down at his lunchbox, imagining his mother’s smiling face and his sister’s cries of joy. “…Brave, huh?" cosmicPostman fucked around with this message at 09:19 on Sep 7, 2019 |
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Nov 16, 2018 14:34
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Good job getting Reginald killed on his first mission! Tanks are better than people, why haven't you learned this yet? Okay well you seem to have improved in that last mission, so I'll do you a solid and send you more troops. This time I've had the foresight to send you a unit that will actually be able to survive you inevitably throwing it at a tank. Flying over in their signature helicopters, we have the Alfred Armada. But his friends call him Alf.
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Nov 17, 2018 02:57
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Yeah, artillery are very strong - pound for pound, I'd say they're the best attackers in the game (and funnily enough, pound for pound infantry work out as the best defenders. I'm sure you can guess how a lot of high-level play ends up much of the time!). They're slow and inflexible, but get them in the right place or simply just get enough of them and you can lock the field down and grind to inevitable victory. In a way, you've met all the core units of Advance Wars now - you could make a perfectly serviceable strategy game with just these six units - and indeed, people have (I still love Strategery 2012 as one of the most pitch-perfect Advance Wars homages out there).
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Nov 18, 2018 23:38
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