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Now before we get started with this interview, could you tell us a little bit about yourself?
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Nov 17, 2018 22:56
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 15:57 |
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uh, i gotta go to the bathroom
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Nov 17, 2018 22:57
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personally, i've been known to have sexual proclivities towards the same gender as myself i guess that you could say that i am possessed of qualities of a homosexual nature
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Nov 17, 2018 22:58
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I routinely poo poo myself
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Nov 17, 2018 23:00
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my skills include turning on monitors and reminding others to turn on their monitors
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Nov 17, 2018 23:05
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well, im gay
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Nov 17, 2018 23:06
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I own a katana
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Nov 17, 2018 23:07
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i have years of shitposting experience you cant fire me
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Nov 17, 2018 23:10
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I'm particularly skilled at turning absolutely every conversation, no matter how innocuous or mundane, into a discussion about the plight of women and minorities in video games.
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Nov 17, 2018 23:13
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*fidgets in awkward silence while staring at the floor for a few seconds before bolting out of the room, never to return*
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Nov 18, 2018 00:55
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I've been a volunteer poster at something awful for the past 7 years and I think it's finally time to make it official.
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Nov 18, 2018 01:07
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i'm already employed at a pretty good workplace that didn't require an interview, actually. now, your ad was interesting or i wouldn't have applied but i'm a little sketchy on the benefits and pay, can you tell me how it stacks up against my current job? 
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Nov 18, 2018 01:07
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*backs out of the room on all fours, mewling*
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Nov 18, 2018 01:08
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Well that's enough small talk, am I hired? Where are the... ...the... ...FEMALES?
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Nov 18, 2018 01:09
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this office smells like old cum
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Nov 18, 2018 01:10
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I'm a disabled vet of the war on christmas
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Nov 18, 2018 01:14
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Can you tell me a little about the health insurance plan? Like, if I need to get a robospine implanted, will I be covered?
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Nov 18, 2018 01:16
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Welcome everyone to the Something Awful Dot Com Forums With Moderation Brought To You By Subway. You will now be assigned to your subforums.Mozi posted:uh, i gotta go to the bathroom Fojar38 posted:personally, i've been known to have sexual proclivities towards the same gender as myself spank my snatch posted:I routinely poo poo myself 500 good dogs posted:my skills include turning on monitors and reminding others to turn on their monitors Streak posted:well, im gay Minorkos posted:I own a katana PantsandCola posted:i have years of shitposting experience you cant fire me William Henry Hairytaint posted:I'm particularly skilled at turning absolutely every conversation, no matter how innocuous or mundane, into a discussion about the plight of women and minorities in video games. Mimesweeper posted:*fidgets in awkward silence while staring at the floor for a few seconds before bolting out of the room, never to return* Jon Joe posted:I've been a volunteer poster at something awful for the past 7 years and I think it's finally time to make it official. Ignatius M. Meen posted:i'm already employed at a pretty good workplace that didn't require an interview, actually. now, your ad was interesting or i wouldn't have applied but i'm a little sketchy on the benefits and pay, can you tell me how it stacks up against my current job? Pvt.Scott posted:*backs out of the room on all fours, mewling* William Henry Hairytaint posted:Well that's enough small talk, am I hired? Where are the... curlys gold posted:this office smells like old cum Good soup! posted:I'm a disabled vet of the war on christmas Zamboni Rodeo posted:Can you tell me a little about the health insurance plan? Like, if I need to get a robospine implanted, will I be covered?
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Nov 18, 2018 01:20
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It said in the ad that this was a fun place, full of interesting people. Um, where are they? Also, can I telecommute?
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Nov 18, 2018 01:27
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Actually ive been white noise posting in my own little forums and finally want to tey it out as a career. Heres my resume.
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Nov 18, 2018 01:40
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*reaches out and taps the desk with my index finger* Well I just rated this interview a "4" but I think you could convince me to make it a "5" by hiring me at the end
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Nov 18, 2018 01:52
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I have seven level 120 characters and 24500 achievement points in World of Warcraft.
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Nov 18, 2018 01:56
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Yo my name is Who What Now and I'm here to say I'm gonna poo poo post in a major way! You should also know, that I'm gay This has been my rap resume!
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Nov 18, 2018 01:57
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Here's a copy of my resume for your review:
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Nov 18, 2018 02:01
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I popularized the phrase “hosed up if false.” I’m kind of a big deal 
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Nov 18, 2018 02:01
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You’ll see there under “experience” I’ve been a prolific shot poster at a number of other online sites and that my karma was full green at every one. You may be wondering why I would choose this site over many other prestigious fora. The answer, sir, is simple: I seek the brightest minds on the internet. There is nothing more to discuss, I’m sure, but for you to direct me to the nearest navel gazing thread so I can get to work.
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Nov 18, 2018 02:03
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I took over development of TempleOS after Terry A. Davis's passing needless to say I am an extremely competent Christian programmer.
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Nov 18, 2018 02:08
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Every day I feel the approach of death and appreciate a little more what it means to waste your youth. Now in wisdom I finally know what to do, what is worthwhile: post in GBS about cum and eating rear end.
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Nov 18, 2018 02:08
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The forum was missing a great name. I am that great name. SA has been a fair bit better since then. Please consider me for a raise.
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Nov 18, 2018 02:14
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It says here that you're experienced in making controversial claims on a number of subjects and will spend hours or even days defending them; can you tell me a little bit about that?
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Nov 18, 2018 02:16
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Gaunab posted:It says here that you're experienced in making controversial claims on a number of subjects and will spend hours or even days defending them; can you tell me a little bit about that? zipper merge motherfucker!
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Nov 18, 2018 02:21
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Gaunab posted:It says here that you're experienced in making controversial claims on a number of subjects and will spend hours or even days defending them; can you tell me a little bit about that? Pants......making GBS threads?
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Nov 18, 2018 02:26
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My biggest weakness is that I work too hard. Also I hope your hours are flexible here, as I also work part time at the dick sucking factory
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Nov 18, 2018 02:28
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I several times argued you should not beat people on the street for their political opinions, it was pretty controversial at the time.
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Nov 18, 2018 02:28
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Gaunab posted:It says here that you're experienced in making controversial claims on a number of subjects and will spend hours or even days defending them; can you tell me a little bit about that? I feel that my combatitve approaches on the Fallout thread of how Fallout 76 is a technical and narriative model and a beacon of good game design and underlying quality shows my commitment to the team despite the difficulties to do so. I feel thia would be a valuable asset to the group.
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Nov 18, 2018 02:33
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I think you'll find that I have a unique brand of inoffensive occasional shitposting that will expand the company's digital footprint and create a direct pathway to new growth factors
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Nov 18, 2018 02:39
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Lol oh poo poo
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Nov 18, 2018 02:40
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Actually you already know me. I'm the guy who's your future best employee. I'll remind you of this later in the interview in case you forget. I have read thousands of books about orcs and elves but alas none about the field of work for which I am applying. I spend my free time enlightening internet people about the flaws in their liberal beliefs and arguments. I am on a raw Paleo diet so you'll need to restock your vending machines and lunch menus accordingly. I'm the best one to apply today. When do I start?
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Nov 18, 2018 02:45
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I didn't apply. I paid to be here. I'm not an employee. I'm a customer.
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Nov 18, 2018 02:46
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I not only voted this thread a '5', I subscribed to it. Now where's my money?
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Nov 18, 2018 02:48
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