THE BIRd

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Peanut Butler

the other night i was really really tired and readin some old fuckin book and some dude (or w/e) starts knockin on the door
'just some dude (or w/e)' is what i'm thinkin, right, 'knockin on the door that's it case closed'
its winter and it's all cold and dark out and i got no electricity okay and ON TOP OF THAT on top of that seasonal affective disorder poo poo i'm SUPER BUMMED about my dead girlfriend
she was fuckin rad so yeah i'm in this poo poo mood and all keyed up and shadows and curtains are moving and giving me the heebie-jeebeis
and i'm starting to freak. out.
standin there going like 'hey no it's just some dude (or w/e) at the door no bigs'
gathered up my balls, 'well gently caress it', and said to the door 'hey sorry dude (or w/e) i was sleepin and didn't hear you knocking all quiet sorry' - but get this i open the door and NOTHING IS THERE
stare at the dark for a while starting to freak a lil bit, losin my head gettin all confused, thinkin about the crazy art bell poo poo thats out there, starin at it and thinkin bout goblins and poo poo
but uh nothing out there real quiet real dark, and i'm all hosed up
insane in the membrain
thinkin its my dead bae so i whisper her name but don't hear poo poo
go back inside i guess still kinda hosed up heart beatin and then allovasudden MORE KNOCKING but it'sLOUDER THIS TIME
'alright thats gotta be a thijng whackin the window frame' i says to me
'i guess i'll check it out okay deep breaths dude you can do this let's check it out it's just the wind right haha okay' open up the window all quick like and BAM a fuckin' cool-rear end but rude bird just waltzed right in without sayin 'hi how are you' or nothin just put his lil feet on the top of the door
like he was the fuckin king of my door like he owned the place he sat on some old greekr statue poo poo i have up there- just fuckign sat there
the lil bird dude just looked SO SERIOUS haha so i sez 'hey bird whats up whats your name' fukken bird just says 'never ever'
haha WHAAAAAAT? read it again- a bird talked i mean it didn't make no sense but it was STILL A loving TALKING BIRD ON MY loving GREEK STATUE HAHA HOLY poo poo and his NAME is apparently NEVER EVER that is WEIRD
yeah so thats all the bird says like he put all his guts into barfing out 'never ever' and then just sits there being rude so FINE i'll be rude too and talk to myself like hes not there (but i don't really want to be rude ok so it comes out all mumbley) 'this aint my first bird rodeo i know it'll leave like MY GF DID WHEN SHE DIED'
okay then THE BIRD TALKED AGIAN i mean it said 'never ever'
OHHH SHIIIIT it said the thing again but ok this time IT MADE SENSE AS A REPLY
so like stilll not sure if this bird can understand me and i go on talkin like it aint there 'stupid bird its probably traiedn by some goth rear end in a top hat to say never never ever never ever blah blahj'
hehe ijt was kinda cool i guess, crackin a grin, rolled myt rolley computer chair over there by the bird and started thinking 'man what the HELL is this BIRD tryin to TELL ME?'
had some guesses but no dice the bird isn't talking just staring at me like i'm made of corn or some poo poo birds like saying NOTHING theres NO HELP FROM THAT BIRD
i chill out a lil bit ok got a pillow on my headreast it's all shiny velvet mmmmm oh poo poo my boo used to love velvet shes gonna touch velvet never ever again
shits feelign all weird again and its like the air gets all thick and skunky like snoop is dancin all lightfooted on the carpet smokin dro- i kinda hulk out a lil bit it's like mood swing city toonigght but i think get a pass d/t the TALKING BIRD ok
'bitch', i yell at the bird, 'did the motherfukken god of birds send you with some benzos so i can forget about all this poo poo(dead gf mostly) gimme a xanax or something so i can forget her ok'
and the loving bird says 'never ever' again
'look tlaking shitbird piece of poo poo satan bird dunno if your sent here by whatever gobling makes ppl CRAZY or a storm led you here all alone and brave to my weird winter depression nest but you gotta tell me- can a motherfucker get over this dead gf poo poo?'
guess what the bird says i'll give you one guess too late it said 'never ever'
i says to the lil dude i sez 'loving rear end in a top hat bird from hell or maybe just the sky i doin't know about birds and where their from but jesus christ dude you gotta tellm e if my bae went 2 heaven'
bird: 'never ever' big fuckin surprise there
'AAGGGHHH BIRRRRDDD YOU lovely rear end in a top hat BIRD'- i'm like screamin at the bird- 'GET THE gently caress OUT OF HERE'
'never ever' loving smartass bird
it's STILL THERE
DAYS LATER
on my STONE GREEK HEAD with CREEPY SATAN EYES and a SCARY SHADOW and i'm pretty sure i'm never gonna get over my dead gf

# ? Dec 15, 2018 21:13

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 17:26

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

Peanut Butler posted:

the other night i was really really tired and readin some old fuckin book and some dude (or w/e) starts knockin on the door
'just some dude (or w/e)' is what i'm thinkin, right, 'knockin on the door that's it case closed'
its winter and it's all cold and dark out and i got no electricity okay and ON TOP OF THAT on top of that seasonal affective disorder poo poo i'm SUPER BUMMED about my dead girlfriend
she was fuckin rad so yeah i'm in this poo poo mood and all keyed up and shadows and curtains are moving and giving me the heebie-jeebeis
and i'm starting to freak. out.
standin there going like 'hey no it's just some dude (or w/e) at the door no bigs'
gathered up my balls, 'well gently caress it', and said to the door 'hey sorry dude (or w/e) i was sleepin and didn't hear you knocking all quiet sorry' - but get this i open the door and NOTHING IS THERE
stare at the dark for a while starting to freak a lil bit, losin my head gettin all confused, thinkin about the crazy art bell poo poo thats out there, starin at it and thinkin bout goblins and poo poo
but uh nothing out there real quiet real dark, and i'm all hosed up
insane in the membrain
thinkin its my dead bae so i whisper her name but don't hear poo poo
go back inside i guess still kinda hosed up heart beatin and then allovasudden MORE KNOCKING but it'sLOUDER THIS TIME
'alright thats gotta be a thijng whackin the window frame' i says to me
'i guess i'll check it out okay deep breaths dude you can do this let's check it out it's just the wind right haha okay' open up the window all quick like and BAM a fuckin' cool-rear end but rude bird just waltzed right in without sayin 'hi how are you' or nothin just put his lil feet on the top of the door
like he was the fuckin king of my door like he owned the place he sat on some old greekr statue poo poo i have up there- just fuckign sat there
the lil bird dude just looked SO SERIOUS haha so i sez 'hey bird whats up whats your name' fukken bird just says 'never ever'
haha WHAAAAAAT? read it again- a bird talked i mean it didn't make no sense but it was STILL A loving TALKING BIRD ON MY loving GREEK STATUE HAHA HOLY poo poo and his NAME is apparently NEVER EVER that is WEIRD
yeah so thats all the bird says like he put all his guts into barfing out 'never ever' and then just sits there being rude so FINE i'll be rude too and talk to myself like hes not there (but i don't really want to be rude ok so it comes out all mumbley) 'this aint my first bird rodeo i know it'll leave like MY GF DID WHEN SHE DIED'
okay then THE BIRD TALKED AGIAN i mean it said 'never ever'
OHHH SHIIIIT it said the thing again but ok this time IT MADE SENSE AS A REPLY
so like stilll not sure if this bird can understand me and i go on talkin like it aint there 'stupid bird its probably traiedn by some goth rear end in a top hat to say never never ever never ever blah blahj'
hehe ijt was kinda cool i guess, crackin a grin, rolled myt rolley computer chair over there by the bird and started thinking 'man what the HELL is this BIRD tryin to TELL ME?'
had some guesses but no dice the bird isn't talking just staring at me like i'm made of corn or some poo poo birds like saying NOTHING theres NO HELP FROM THAT BIRD
i chill out a lil bit ok got a pillow on my headreast it's all shiny velvet mmmmm oh poo poo my boo used to love velvet shes gonna touch velvet never ever again
shits feelign all weird again and its like the air gets all thick and skunky like snoop is dancin all lightfooted on the carpet smokin dro- i kinda hulk out a lil bit it's like mood swing city toonigght but i think get a pass d/t the TALKING BIRD ok
'bitch', i yell at the bird, 'did the motherfukken god of birds send you with some benzos so i can forget about all this poo poo(dead gf mostly) gimme a xanax or something so i can forget her ok'
and the loving bird says 'never ever' again
'look tlaking shitbird piece of poo poo satan bird dunno if your sent here by whatever gobling makes ppl CRAZY or a storm led you here all alone and brave to my weird winter depression nest but you gotta tell me- can a motherfucker get over this dead gf poo poo?'
guess what the bird says i'll give you one guess too late it said 'never ever'
i says to the lil dude i sez 'loving rear end in a top hat bird from hell or maybe just the sky i doin't know about birds and where their from but jesus christ dude you gotta tellm e if my bae went 2 heaven'
bird: 'never ever' big fuckin surprise there
'AAGGGHHH BIRRRRDDD YOU lovely rear end in a top hat BIRD'- i'm like screamin at the bird- 'GET THE gently caress OUT OF HERE'
'never ever' loving smartass bird
it's STILL THERE
DAYS LATER
on my STONE GREEK HEAD with CREEPY SATAN EYES and a SCARY SHADOW and i'm pretty sure i'm never gonna get over my dead gf

hahaha

# ? Dec 17, 2018 18:21

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

# ? Dec 18, 2018 08:45

HappyKitty

Peanut Butler posted:

the other night i was really really tired and readin some old fuckin book and some dude (or w/e) starts knockin on the door
'just some dude (or w/e)' is what i'm thinkin, right, 'knockin on the door that's it case closed'
its winter and it's all cold and dark out and i got no electricity okay and ON TOP OF THAT on top of that seasonal affective disorder poo poo i'm SUPER BUMMED about my dead girlfriend
she was fuckin rad so yeah i'm in this poo poo mood and all keyed up and shadows and curtains are moving and giving me the heebie-jeebeis
and i'm starting to freak. out.
standin there going like 'hey no it's just some dude (or w/e) at the door no bigs'
gathered up my balls, 'well gently caress it', and said to the door 'hey sorry dude (or w/e) i was sleepin and didn't hear you knocking all quiet sorry' - but get this i open the door and NOTHING IS THERE
stare at the dark for a while starting to freak a lil bit, losin my head gettin all confused, thinkin about the crazy art bell poo poo thats out there, starin at it and thinkin bout goblins and poo poo
but uh nothing out there real quiet real dark, and i'm all hosed up
insane in the membrain
thinkin its my dead bae so i whisper her name but don't hear poo poo
go back inside i guess still kinda hosed up heart beatin and then allovasudden MORE KNOCKING but it'sLOUDER THIS TIME
'alright thats gotta be a thijng whackin the window frame' i says to me
'i guess i'll check it out okay deep breaths dude you can do this let's check it out it's just the wind right haha okay' open up the window all quick like and BAM a fuckin' cool-rear end but rude bird just waltzed right in without sayin 'hi how are you' or nothin just put his lil feet on the top of the door
like he was the fuckin king of my door like he owned the place he sat on some old greekr statue poo poo i have up there- just fuckign sat there
the lil bird dude just looked SO SERIOUS haha so i sez 'hey bird whats up whats your name' fukken bird just says 'never ever'
haha WHAAAAAAT? read it again- a bird talked i mean it didn't make no sense but it was STILL A loving TALKING BIRD ON MY loving GREEK STATUE HAHA HOLY poo poo and his NAME is apparently NEVER EVER that is WEIRD
yeah so thats all the bird says like he put all his guts into barfing out 'never ever' and then just sits there being rude so FINE i'll be rude too and talk to myself like hes not there (but i don't really want to be rude ok so it comes out all mumbley) 'this aint my first bird rodeo i know it'll leave like MY GF DID WHEN SHE DIED'
okay then THE BIRD TALKED AGIAN i mean it said 'never ever'
OHHH SHIIIIT it said the thing again but ok this time IT MADE SENSE AS A REPLY
so like stilll not sure if this bird can understand me and i go on talkin like it aint there 'stupid bird its probably traiedn by some goth rear end in a top hat to say never never ever never ever blah blahj'
hehe ijt was kinda cool i guess, crackin a grin, rolled myt rolley computer chair over there by the bird and started thinking 'man what the HELL is this BIRD tryin to TELL ME?'
had some guesses but no dice the bird isn't talking just staring at me like i'm made of corn or some poo poo birds like saying NOTHING theres NO HELP FROM THAT BIRD
i chill out a lil bit ok got a pillow on my headreast it's all shiny velvet mmmmm oh poo poo my boo used to love velvet shes gonna touch velvet never ever again
shits feelign all weird again and its like the air gets all thick and skunky like snoop is dancin all lightfooted on the carpet smokin dro- i kinda hulk out a lil bit it's like mood swing city toonigght but i think get a pass d/t the TALKING BIRD ok
'bitch', i yell at the bird, 'did the motherfukken god of birds send you with some benzos so i can forget about all this poo poo(dead gf mostly) gimme a xanax or something so i can forget her ok'
and the loving bird says 'never ever' again
'look tlaking shitbird piece of poo poo satan bird dunno if your sent here by whatever gobling makes ppl CRAZY or a storm led you here all alone and brave to my weird winter depression nest but you gotta tell me- can a motherfucker get over this dead gf poo poo?'
guess what the bird says i'll give you one guess too late it said 'never ever'
i says to the lil dude i sez 'loving rear end in a top hat bird from hell or maybe just the sky i doin't know about birds and where their from but jesus christ dude you gotta tellm e if my bae went 2 heaven'
bird: 'never ever' big fuckin surprise there
'AAGGGHHH BIRRRRDDD YOU lovely rear end in a top hat BIRD'- i'm like screamin at the bird- 'GET THE gently caress OUT OF HERE'
'never ever' loving smartass bird
it's STILL THERE
DAYS LATER
on my STONE GREEK HEAD with CREEPY SATAN EYES and a SCARY SHADOW and i'm pretty sure i'm never gonna get over my dead gf