Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



____________________________

Raw Results:
  • A Raw Before Christmas video aired to showcase the matches on tonight's show: Seth vs. Corbin; Elias vs. Lashley; Drew vs. Dolph. vs. Balor; and Ronda Rousey defending her title against Nattie.
  • Elias was in the ring with a guitar and a Santa hat, he promised his gift to the audience would be defeating Lashley in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight.
  • Elias defeated Lashley in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight. Key moments included Lashley being suplexed onto Lego, spraying him with a fire extinguisher, crotching him with a bowling ball and smashed him with a cello. Postmatch he shoved cookies into Rush's mouth and poured eggnog over him.
  • A recap aired of the McMahons FINALLY getting to run things again next week.
  • A video aired of Heath Slater saying he and his kids wanted Uncle Rhyno back on Raw.
  • Chad Gable and Bobby Roode successfully defended their Tag Team Titles against The Revival. It was a good match and though The Revival were pinned, Dawson was the one pinned and wasn't the actual legal man.
  • The B-Team were backstage singing Christmas Caarols and tried to give Apollo Crews one of their shirts.
  • Various wrestlers said what they wanted for Christmas: Hawkins wants to win a match, No Way Jose wants to take his conga line to the North Pole etc.
  • Another hype package aired for the NXT callups, including white supremacist Lars Sullivan.
  • Dolph Ziggler did a selfie promo about wanting Shane McMahon's Best in the World (Determined by the Best in the World Tournament at Crown Jewel in Saudi Arabia) Trophy; wanted a Netflix special and to prove he was that drat good by beating Finn Balor and Drew McIntyre.
  • Drew McIntyre was interviewed and said he didn't care if Ziggler and Balor teamed up to try and stop him, he was limitless and their pride and ego would get in the way. He would go on to win the Royal Rumble and main event Wrestlemania.
  • Balor and Ziggler did team up against Drew at first, but Ziggler took the first opportunity to try and sneak pin Balor. Eventually Balor was able to hit the Coup de Grace on both McIntyre and Ziggler, dropkicked Ziggler into the corner, hit another Coup de Grace and got the pin.
  • McIntyre beat up Ziggler post-match and complained that Ziggler was a constant screw-up who ruined all of Drew's attempts to "save" Raw. He then went to attack the ref but got hit by a Zig-Zag by Ziggler.
  • The B-Team were doing Carols backstage and Bo Dallas knocked over a Christmas tree.
  • Vince McMahon, dressed as Santa Claus, announced that John Cena would be back on both Raw and Smackdown, that there will be a Women's Tag Team Division next year, and that Ziggler will face Drew in a steel cage match next week. He also made a Bad Santa reference in 2018.
  • Sasha, Bayley and Ember defeated Mickie James, Alicia Fox and Dana Brooke in a 6-woman tag. Postmatch, the Riott Squad attacked the faces.
  • Paul Heyman did a promo singing Silent Night with the lyrics changed to talk up Brock Lesnar. He said BRAUN! had dreamed of being Champion but Brock would be the Christmas Grinch. BRAUN! came out, put a red nose and reindeers on Heyman and said he'll be fully healed by the Royal Rumble and Brock would "get these hands."
  • Nattie was interviewed and said nobody knew Ronda better than her, and she was one of those who had helped train Rousey to be a pro-wrestler. She said winning the Women's Title would be a great gift for her and her family.
  • In a video, Alexa Bliss said she wasn't asking Santa for anything because she was perfect, so instead she asked for ironic gifts for other women: a personality for Bayley, humility for Sasha Banks, good make-up for Ronda and nothing for Nattie because she was a lost cause.
  • Tyler Breeze wished for a speedy recovery for Fandango AND some Ariana Grande tickets. When told he could only have one, he said he'd settle for the tickets.
  • Ronda Rousey defeated Nattie to retain her Women's Title, reversing a Sharpshooter into an armbar. Postmatch they hugged and raised each other's arms.
  • Dean Ambrose did a video promo mocking Seth Rollins for being gullible, noted that he (Dean) had gotten what he wanted for Christmas: The Intercontinental Title. All Seth had to look forward to was a lousy Christmas, especially if he loses to Corbin.
  • Heath Slater defeated Jinder Mahal by DQ when the Singh Brothers attacked him while Jinder was distracted by somebody dressed as Santa Claus. Jinder and the Singhs attacked Heath post-match but got taken out by Santa who hit a Gore on Mahal, revealing himself to be Rhyno. Rhyno and Slater hugged postmatch.
  • Rollins was interviewed about how he could focus on Corbin with the threat of Dean Ambrose lingering. Rollins said he had to move forward, and he could start by staying focused on Corbin and doing away with him once and for all.
  • Seth Rollins defeated Baron Corbin in the main event.
  • Merry Christmas everybody!
____________________________

Smackdown Results:
  • R-Truth (dressed as Santa Claus) and Carmella opened Smackdown, with Truth trying to name the reindeer and getting sidetracked into the Jackson family before going to a Carol Break.
  • Daniel Bryan came out upset that he had to be on Smackdown instead of with his family, accused the crowd of their materialistic obsession destroying the environment so there would be no North Pole or Santa Claus in 20 years. He called Truth's career a joke but Truth pointed out he still had the Number 30 spot in the Royal Rumble and maybe he would be the one to beat Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania.
  • Truth and Carmella had another dance break but Bryan jumped Truth, smashed his leg into the ringpost, put on the heel hook and beat down Truth some more.
  • Mustafa Ali defeated Andrade "Cien" Almas in a singles match, after avoiding Almas' double-knee spot and hitting his finisher.
  • Samoa Joe did a backstage promo claiming he was Jeff Hardy's new addiction.
  • The Usos and The Good Brothers defeated The Bar and SAnitY in a tag match, with Gallows and Anderson hitting the Magic Killer on Cesaro to get the win.
  • Mustafa Ali was congratulated backstage by THE Brian Kendrick, Akira Tozawa and Cedric Alexander. Shelton Benjamin also joined them to congratulate Ali, but Bryan then jumped Ali from behind and beat him up while yelling that Ali doesn't deserve to be on Smackdown.
  • Miz's guest on Miz TV was Shane McMahon, where he again pressed to be in a tag team with Shane. Finally he explained that for all he had accomplished, his father had never said he was proud of him, but had been impressed by Shane coming in at the last second to insert himself into the final of a tournament match being held in a country that openly murdered and dismembered a journalist. Shane said this resonated with him, and finally agreed to be the Miz's tag team partner. Also Shane mentioned that Raw and Smackdown are both being run by the McMahons NOW.
  • Rusev noted backstage that today was his birthday, and it wouldn't just be the greatest Christmas Day or greatest Birthday when he won the US Title tonight, but the greatest Rusev Day.
  • Samoa Joe defeated Jeff Hardy by DQ when Jeff wouldn't stop attacking Joe outside of the ring. Joe then turned the tables and choked out Hardy with the Coquina Clutch.
  • Shinsuke Nakamura did a promo saying Rusev had been naughty this year and the only thing he would get is a kick in the face.
  • Rusev defeated Shinsuke Nakamura in a back and forth match that ended when Rusev avoided the Kinshsa, clotheslined Nakamura and then hit the Machka Kick to become the NEWWWW United States Champion.
  • AJ Styles met with Vince McMahon backstage, where Vince called into question why AJ wasn't demonstrating more of the animal inside of him that Vince knew was there. He slapped AJ who went nuts and beat the poo poo out of Vince and left him laying as refs ran in to haul AJ away.
  • John Cena returns next week on New Years Day, and The New Day will host a special New Years Day Celebration.
  • Merry Christmas (again!) everybody!

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 04:13 on Dec 26, 2018

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Accident Underwater
Oct 21, 2005

You look like a star!
Vince looked and sounded like he was about to die.

bloodysabbath
May 1, 2004

OH NO!

Jerusalem posted:

Heath Slater defeated Jinder Mahal by DQ when the Singh Brothers attacked him while Jinder was distracted by somebody dressed as Santa Claus. Jinder and the Singhs attacked Heath post-match but got taken out by Santa who hit a Gore on Mahal, revealing himself to be Rhyno. Rhyno and Slater hugged postmatch.

Reminder that this man was somehow, inexplicably, the WWE Champion for 6 goddamn months.

The Croc
Dec 19, 2004

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird!

OH YEAH!



Merry Christmas y'all i didnt watch Raw.

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

The Croc posted:

Merry Christmas y'all i didnt watch Raw.

Happy holidays me too!

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST
I spent my Christmas Eve trying out Path of Exile instead of watching RAW. I may watch Smackdown tomorrow though.

DangerDummy!
Jul 7, 2009

I tended bar tonight so my employees could all have the night off, and I hooked my laptop up to the big TV and played NJPW all day. It was a good Christmas Eve.

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
How is.the Atom Game? The russian post apocalyptic one?

STING 64
Oct 20, 2006

Accident Underwater posted:

Vince looked and sounded like he was about to die.

pictures?

Havoc904
Jul 29, 2006

A school festival is a festival that takes place at our school!
About a month ago, my brother and I took his son and daughter to a Smackdown house show. After only showing a little interest in wrestling before that, by the end of the show they both couldn't stop talking about how amazing it was. My nephew loved AJ Styles and the main event of him vs Samoa Joe in a street fight. Then my niece absolutely loved Charlotte and her 20 minute match with Asuka (all the New Day, because who doesn't love the New Day).

Tonight I surprised them with their Christmas gifts early two nice AJ Styles and Samoa Joe figures and then two nice Charlotte and Asuka figures (along with some random cannonfodder like Nia Jax and Sasha Banks). They immediately dropped everything they were doing and ran to the living room with their toys. Within five minutes I heard them organizing a tag match with Charlotte/Styles vs Joe/Asuka. The actual TV product might suck right now but it was awesome to see that wrestling fire get lit these past couple of weeks, Merry Christmas wrestlehut!

Accident Underwater
Oct 21, 2005

You look like a star!

https://twitter.com/GIFSkull/status/1077391209440501761?s=19

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

well 2 out of 3 ain't bad

also yay rhyno

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
How much do you think they had to shell out to get Cena to come back?

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit

College Slice

VJeff posted:

How much do you think they had to shell out to get Cena to come back?

Vince is now both a Muslim for the Saudis and also has declared that Xi Jinping is the only god to force the Chinese to release Cena.

Spiderdrake
May 12, 2001



VJeff posted:

How much do you think they had to shell out to get Cena to come back?
Apparently Bumblebee lost to Mary Poppins so Cena is rethinking his career choices

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
They finally make a good Transformers movie, with John Cena in it, and it under preforms at the box office. gently caress this gay planet.

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!

Havoc904 posted:

About a month ago, my brother and I took his son and daughter to a Smackdown house show. After only showing a little interest in wrestling before that, by the end of the show they both couldn't stop talking about how amazing it was. My nephew loved AJ Styles and the main event of him vs Samoa Joe in a street fight. Then my niece absolutely loved Charlotte and her 20 minute match with Asuka (all the New Day, because who doesn't love the New Day).

Tonight I surprised them with their Christmas gifts early two nice AJ Styles and Samoa Joe figures and then two nice Charlotte and Asuka figures (along with some random cannonfodder like Nia Jax and Sasha Banks). They immediately dropped everything they were doing and ran to the living room with their toys. Within five minutes I heard them organizing a tag match with Charlotte/Styles vs Joe/Asuka. The actual TV product might suck right now but it was awesome to see that wrestling fire get lit these past couple of weeks, Merry Christmas wrestlehut!

These small children are already booking better matches than the company that's been doing it for a million years

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010

VJeff posted:

They finally make a good Transformers movie, with John Cena in it, and it under preforms at the box office. gently caress this gay planet.

Michael Bay knew when to leave the territory, brother.

Plus it's a movie called Bumblebee.

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

VJeff posted:

They finally make a good Transformers movie, with John Cena in it, and it under preforms at the box office. gently caress this gay planet.

Duh, Age of Extinction and Last Knight poisoned the well. Last Knight made literally half the money AoE did.

Cena is a fool if he's really rethinking Hollywood just because one movie he was in underperformed, The Rock wasn't exactly Box Office Gold for the first, what, decade of his movie career? We can't all be Batista and knock it out of the park out the gate.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~
Women's Tag Belts! :woop:
Uncle Rhyno! :woop:
It's Christmas! :woop:

Strawberry Panda
Nov 4, 2007

Breakfast Defecting, Slow Dick Touching, Root Beer Barreling SwagVP
Bumblebee box office analysis has been positive though. It performed at expectations against super stiff competition.

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon

DoctorGonzo posted:

How is.the Atom Game? The russian post apocalyptic one?

its very good, i bought it yesterday and played for 5 hours straight

Orange Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007

quote:

A Raw Before Christmas video aired to showcase the matches on tonight's show: Seth vs. Corbin; Elias vs. Lashley; Drew vs. Dolph. vs. Balor; and Ronda Rousey defending her title against Nattie.

They have all the talent in the world under contract... Who wants to see any of this poo poo? It's legit amazing that they pay nearly everyone that is in wrestling and this is the best they can do. What a dire loving lineup of match choices.

VJeff posted:

They finally make a good Transformers movie, with John Cena in it, and it under preforms at the box office.

Edited out the lame part you should have left out but it's also as if they made a bunch of bad transformers movies before this one so nobody trusts the brand name to be good anymore

Orange Carlisle fucked around with this message at 15:24 on Dec 25, 2018

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Baron Corbin posted:

its very good, i bought it yesterday and played for 5 hours straight

im playing it right now and yes its good

Manic_Misanthrope
Jul 1, 2010


Mr. Carlisle posted:

Edited out the lame part you should have left out but it's also as if they made a bunch of bad transformers movies before this one so nobody trusts the brand name to be good anymore

The whole series was bad.

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

Now I'm wondering if they changed poo poo in Bumblebee last minute. They had Hasbro folks at our early screening and people were leaving in droves toward the end of it, making fun of it. Because it was hot garbage on December 7th.

Mary Poppins Returns was great and I was shocked.

I watched Raw last night and Rhyno looks really old and beaten up. I'd like to see him do something not-wrestling or just have him and Kurt Angle put pots on their heads and smash into each other like dumb bulls. Whatever. I'm good with either one, I guess.

Midnightghoul
Oct 1, 2003

COME ON DON'T BE SCURRED
Vince was so angry at the Bumblebee box office that hes bringing in Emily Blunt instead of John Cena

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle
"bumblebee is actually really good for a transformers movie! and it has john cena in it!" "the marine 12 is actually really good for a marine movie! and it has becky lynch in it!"

nice try hollywood those stupid movies have ZERO spidermen in it, i'll see the movie with the spidermen in it thank you very much.

(into the spiderverse is fantastic if you havent seen it)

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




I bet if Vince hired Spiderman he'd stick him on 205 Live and complain that he's not getting himself over and needs to lose the mask.

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

Liquid Communism posted:

I bet if Vince hired Spiderman he'd stick him on 205 Live and complain that he's not getting himself over and needs to lose the mask.

So, WCW to Mysterio way back when?

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

Liquid Communism posted:

I bet if Vince hired Spiderman he'd stick him on 205 Live and complain that he's not getting himself over and needs to lose the mask.

insane booking decision. its canon that spiderman competes in the heavyweight division.

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



From Web City:

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

shiksa posted:

insane booking decision. its canon that spiderman competes in the heavyweight division.

Spiderman is yoked but he's like 5'8 (listed as 5'10)

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

Jenkem Delivery posted:

Spiderman is yoked but he's like 5'8 (listed as 5'10)

if bonesaw didnt think the kid could hang he wouldnt have put him over this is christmas im getting all worked up on christmas over here look what youve done to me.

e: lmao that wcw spiderman always cracks me up. wasnt that an armstrong brother?

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
The Human Spider was an rear end in a top hat for shooting on Bonesaw.

Gaz-L
Jan 28, 2009

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

Now I'm wondering if they changed poo poo in Bumblebee last minute. They had Hasbro folks at our early screening and people were leaving in droves toward the end of it, making fun of it. Because it was hot garbage on December 7th.

Mary Poppins Returns was great and I was shocked.

I watched Raw last night and Rhyno looks really old and beaten up. I'd like to see him do something not-wrestling or just have him and Kurt Angle put pots on their heads and smash into each other like dumb bulls. Whatever. I'm good with either one, I guess.

I think the answer is the same reason Star Trek Beyond didn't do well. People don't want certain franchises to be good versions of what the brand actually is about. They want a generic action movie that has the words they know from cultural osmosis sprinkled in. Beyond was the first of the new Trek movies that was actually a STAR TREK film, instead of a film that had the Trek branding. Bumblebee is a good TRANSFORMERS movie, while the others were Michael Bay bullshit that happened to have robots in them sometimes. When he had to.

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!
Bonesaw Shot First

Gumball Gumption
Jan 7, 2012

Gaz-L posted:

I think the answer is the same reason Star Trek Beyond didn't do well. People don't want certain franchises to be good versions of what the brand actually is about. They want a generic action movie that has the words they know from cultural osmosis sprinkled in. Beyond was the first of the new Trek movies that was actually a STAR TREK film, instead of a film that had the Trek branding. Bumblebee is a good TRANSFORMERS movie, while the others were Michael Bay bullshit that happened to have robots in them sometimes. When he had to.

Star Trek Beyond didn't do well because the last 2 films sunk the brand for Star Trek fans and just left people who wanted action films. Bumblebee is probably the same.

Ad by Khad
Jul 25, 2007

Human Garbage
Watch me try to laugh this title off like the dickbag I am.

I also hang out with racists.
Spidermen? Man that radioactive spider gets around

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011

by Azathoth

Ad by Khad posted:

Spidermen? Man that radioactive spider gets around

Real slutty spider, yea

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply