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At my first HS there was an old, morbidly obese yard supervisor who would spend lunch and recess driving around in a golf cart yelling at kids for walking on the grass (note: there was grass loving everywhere) and whatever else he could think of. For some reason he decided he hated me and my friends in particular, no idea why given were a bunch of nerdy goons who hung out in back corner of the school by the portable and spent all lunch playing D&D and card games. He would legit just drive his loving golf cart up to us and start yelling at us for poo poo like trash he found on the ground 20 meters away, and insist it was us. Anyway one day the fucker decided that we were gambling and, without even warning us, just went straight to the principal and said he'd caught us gambling with cards. Suddenly a swarm of teachers descend on us and drag us all into the principal's office to explain ourselves. We pull out the deck which is a proprietary card game - they're not even regular playing cards - and explain the rules and that's just a game like Uno. The principal insists that even though they're not playing cards, you can still gamble on the outcome of anything, and so clearly that's what was happening. They confiscated our cards, made us turn out our backpacks and flipped through out notebooks as if they expected to reveal somebody as a loving bookie, and then as a cherry on top told us we also had to hand over any money we had on us until they could be sure it wasn't "dirty" money.  at this point me and another kid flat out say no - we're not giving you one cent - call our parents right now if you don't like it. As an aside the other kid who said no was a six foot ROTC guy who saw us playing D&D one day and sheepishly asked if he could join us because he'd always thought it looked fun. He was super cool but also a muscle-bound giant, and he spent almost this entire meeting giving golf cart guy the worlds longest death stare which was making him visibly uncomfortable.Anyway parents get called, and mine as well as a few others absolutely flip their poo poo. Eventually our principal - who despite doubling as the macho coach of our (hilariously pathetic) football team was sweating, bug-eyed and shrunk into his chair like a blob - agrees that there won't be any punishment and he'll give the cards back, but insists that we can't have them at school any more "just in case." Okay fine, this is incredibly stupid but whatever. We have a laugh about it and figure that's that. Next loving day we're in our usual spot playing D&D now, and loving golf cart man motors on up and starts frantically pointing at us like somebody just drew a shotgun. "You've got dice! I knew you were gambling! I knew it!" He immediately grabs the wheel to spin around and tattle on us again, at which point ROTC guy jumps up, sprints in front of the cart to stop him from driving forward, and yells for us to do the same. Me and two others jump up surround the cart, so the guy can't drive without hitting one of us. He goes absolutely ballistic, starts screaming like he's being flayed. Another one of the group goes to a nearby classroom and gets the teacher, brings her over, and explains the situation while golf cart guy constantly tries to cut in to tell this teacher how we're a bunch of filthy liars. Finally the teacher tells us to pack up and get to class because lunch is almost over, and tells golf cart guy she's more than happy to go explain the whole thing to the principal. Sure enough 30 minutes or so later I get yanked out of class, and we're all back in front of the principal. Guy looks like a loving tomato with how red his face is, I thought he might try to punch one of us. He tells us to show him the dice, which we do, and he flat out asks us if we're going to "make things difficult" and call our parents if he takes them. We say that yes, that's exactly what we're going to do, so he gives them back and says same thing as the cards: don't bring it to school because it could be associated with gambling. Next time he catches us we're suspended, end of story. So we've now hat both our usual lunch activities effectively banned. The good end to the story: one of the English teachers in our grade was an ur-goon, had seen us playing in the past, and had another of our group in his class. When we were forced to stop for a bit, he commented to the guy asking why we'd given up. He explained the whole thing to the teacher, who agreed that was the stupidest poo poo he'd ever heard and offered to let us use his classroom during lunch if we wanted to play D&D away from the watchful eyes of the golf cart police. In retrospect we probably should have realized the teacher with the life-sized cutout of Orlando Bloom as Legolas next to his desk might be amiable to such an arrangement.  That's my long, boring, white-as-gently caress dumb HS story.
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Feb 12, 2019 00:25
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Oh also one time in fourth grade we were playing dodge ball during lunch and I hit some kid right in the face with my shot, and he went down and started sobbing. His parents got pissed, the school banned dodge ball, and everybody blamed me for it. That one's a bit shorter.
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Feb 12, 2019 00:29
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BattyKiara posted:When I broke my arm in the 6th form, I was told people weren't allowed to sign or draw on my cast. Because that could lead to people wanting tattoos later in life. On my last day of 7th grade our math teacher found out some students were having others sign their hands and arms instead of their yearbook, in sharpie. He gave us a 20 minute lecture on ink poisoning, forced the entire class to march to the bathrooms and have us spend five minutes each in groups washing it off - including those of us who didn't have any marker on us - and finished up by saying "If I didn't know it'd cause all kinds of hell" he'd force all of us to strip down to our underwear, girls included, to make sure we weren't hiding any writing on our skin. "Why? Because I care about my students. I care about your health. Nothing should get in the way of that."
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Feb 12, 2019 20:31
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Fashionable Jorts posted:Glad to know my teachers were a bit smarter than yours. Up until the last two years of HS I went to school in a suburban SoCal town that was easily 95% white, mormon, and that weird level of middle-income where people start to believe they're hot poo poo but still live paycheck to paycheck. The resulting combination of incredibly milquetoast "bad behaviour" and hyper-over reactive authority figures resulted in the dumb kinds of stories I've told piling up constantly. As an example, my elementary, middle, and first high school all had bans on hats of any kind, because they could be used to signal "gang affiliation." I'd bet  nobody from any of those schools had so much as even seen a gang member in real life, let alone been affiliated with one. Apparently after I left my HS decided to ease the rule, and allowed people to wear hats but only if they had the school logo on them. Some of my old friends told me a couple guys who thought they were being clever all strolled onto campus one day wearing the same campus branded hat, and told anybody who'd listen that now they were finally free to express their affiliation with the "school gang". The school took this 100% seriously, re-banned hats, and had an assembly where the principal told students "see we told you so!"
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Feb 12, 2019 22:39
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