need someone 2 mail me a pipe bomb

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > need someone 2 mail me a pipe bomb

cda: by Hand Knit

this time those package thieves have gone too far. i needed that Harney and Sons Hot Cinnamon Sunset Tea to calm my nerves. won't they be surprised the next time they try to steal the package sent to me by a byob good samaritan and their hands turn into a fine red mist!

# ? Feb 14, 2019 05:37

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 13:22

cda: by Hand Knit

plz send it with a sticker on the front that says SHIVADAS GLASS so they think there is high quality drug paraphernalia in the box.

# ? Feb 14, 2019 05:38

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

have you considered a glitter bomb? it's exactly like a regular bomb except the outside is glittery so when they die they'll be embarrassed by the glitter on their corpse!

# ? Feb 14, 2019 06:46

roomforthetuna: I don't need to know anything about virii! My CUSTOM PROGRAM keeps me protected! It's not like they'll try to come in through the Internet or something!

cda posted:

plz send it with a sticker on the front that says SHIVADAS GLASS so they think there is high quality drug paraphernalia in the box.

It might be clearer if it is labelled "pipe bong".

# ? Feb 14, 2019 07:37

cda: by Hand Knit

hey package thieves, thanks for stealing my Paper Crane Apothecary Psychic Vampire Repellent. i hope you enjoy it. i hope you're totally protected from psychic vampires, unlike me! In case you couldn't tell, I'm being sarcastic

# ? Feb 14, 2019 15:01

Gone Fashing: KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

little early to start planning for the fifth annual byob secret santa, op

# ? Feb 14, 2019 22:23

blaise rascal: "Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Pearl...."

I have a crush on my package thief. I keep ordering things like flowers, heart-shaped chocolates, and so on, but nothing seems to be getting their attention. Perhaps I�m being too subtle.

(starts browsing amazon for wedding rings)

ty vanisher, ty khanstant

# ? Feb 14, 2019 22:26

wearing a lampshade

I'm gonna mail you several snow globes with no padding

# ? Feb 14, 2019 22:42

City of Glompton

i'm going to send the op a 5lb bag of sugar free gummy bears repackaged as weed gummies. the thief's butt will be blown up and i think that should be sufficient

# ? Feb 14, 2019 23:27

Turtlicious: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

the instructions were unclear and i blew off one of my arms

its ok though, the package is a bit ruined.

OP would you like a mushy envelope of shattered wrist?

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# ? Feb 15, 2019 01:27

FluffieDuckie

Gone Fashing posted:

little early to start planning for the fifth annual byob secret santa, op

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? Feb 15, 2019 01:44

google THIS

Well, it's not my best work, but really, if you think about it, the ticking sound will just make it easier for the thief find the package in the dark.

# ? Feb 15, 2019 01:54

FutonForensic

sex bomb, sex bomb
you'll get a sex bomb
that's what I tend to call it since it's shaped like a crude dong

# ? Feb 15, 2019 02:17

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

we're ordering steak bombs? I'll get a large thanks, extra hots

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Feb 15, 2019 02:35

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

i'm gonna send you a jägerbomb and a wink

i'm not going to surprise you with it though because you should watch the bartender pour it that is safest

# ? Feb 15, 2019 06:21

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

that one time i tried to order a 'bomb' pipe

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 15, 2019 21:46

Goons Are Gifts

City of Glompton posted:

i'm going to send the op a 5lb bag of sugar free gummy bears repackaged as weed gummies. the thief's butt will be blown up and i think that should be sufficient

By far the most sinister suggestion I've ever seen in over 37 years of byob. Let's do it!

# ? Feb 15, 2019 23:05

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

City of Glompton posted:

i'm going to send the op a 5lb bag of sugar free gummy bears repackaged as weed gummies. the thief's butt will be blown up and i think that should be sufficient

Harsh, but fair.

# ? Feb 15, 2019 23:56

cda: by Hand Knit

putting a camera in my doorbell, so i can steal the soul of anyone who tries to steal my Azio Retro Classic Bluetooth Artisan - Luxury Vintage Backlit Mechanical Keyboard

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 16, 2019 05:42

cda: by Hand Knit

A big cardboard box balanced on a stick with a string tied to it. Underneath is a smaller cardboard box. Inside that box is the pipe bomb some kind soul from byob mailed me

# ? Feb 16, 2019 16:12

cda: by Hand Knit

Tell you what, if someone helps me by posting a link to an Amazon Prime-eligible pipe bomb, I can just take it from there

# ? Feb 16, 2019 16:14

alnilam

cda posted:

Tell you what, if someone helps me by posting a link to an Amazon Prime-eligible pipe bomb, I can just take it from there

i think thi sshould do it

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Feb 16, 2019 19:26

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

alnilam posted:

i think thi sshould do it

u win the science fair. good job

# ? Feb 16, 2019 19:30

FluffieDuckie

opioid agonist posted:

u win the science fair. good job

he's a doctor scientist so it's almost cheating

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? Feb 16, 2019 19:42

cda: by Hand Knit

need a pipe bomb dash button to keep up with all these thieves

# ? Feb 16, 2019 19:56

roomforthetuna: I don't need to know anything about virii! My CUSTOM PROGRAM keeps me protected! It's not like they'll try to come in through the Internet or something!