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i'm a subtype of sorcerer, Sage, which is like sorcerer with no charisma but i'm super lazy at the whole learning magic thing so i may have taken some levels in Ranger
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Feb 27, 2019 06:18
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 07:50 |
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look brah it's the 21st century. warlocks rockin dredlocks, 400lb druids going to linux conventions, etc. the look is whatever you choose to own
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Feb 27, 2019 06:35
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StandardVC10 posted:Look maybe it's the 21st century for you, but I hosed up a fairly simple chronomancy spell and now I'm posting from century 2i - 6 come on everyone knows that's not really another space in time, it's just a parallel material plane identical to the standard dimension except the laws of the universe make it so that while on the internet, the only thing you're capable of doing is shitposting. i visit all the time
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Feb 28, 2019 02:45
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Colonel Cancer posted:What's up losers, I'm a ragecaster. The true symbiosis of barbarian rage and arcane power, all in one convenient eldritch package. Want fireball? You got it. Want mighty thews and oversized swords? Got it. Heck I've even got eldritch powers that scare and unnerve, my great grandmother knew a demon. Yeah but your spell progression sucks even worse than me and I spent like eight levels learning Urban Rangery I definitely use Know Direction, Divine Weed, and Detect Police way more than I toss Fireballs I tell you what, classical wizardry just isn't as useful as it was back in the days of kings and mudfarmers Fur20 fucked around with this message at 06:42 on Feb 28, 2019 |
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Feb 28, 2019 06:36
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Muscle Wizard posted:Greetings, fellow magi. this is exactly the kind of thing some kind of loving monk would say
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Feb 28, 2019 09:03
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actually i take it back, we are all equals here. monks with the vow of celibacy and such
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Feb 28, 2019 10:26
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Vinny Possum posted:Sorcerer here. Trying to breed the perfect magical bloodline. I've got draconic blood but the gf has infernal. Am I better off staying with her, or finding someone with fae heritage? Or maybe double up on the dragon for maximum potency? never double up on dragon, i used to hook up with this draconic sorceress and my bastard daughter with her was born with the dragonsnout. i had to pay out the loving nose to get that surgically corrected. condition not covered by modern insurance my rear end. i knew i shoulda got into alchemy Fur20 fucked around with this message at 22:30 on Feb 28, 2019 |
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Feb 28, 2019 22:27
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 my dark ritual is complete. i bound the prince of demons to my program and now it sends data packets over the internet
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Mar 1, 2019 07:25
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Skypie posted:That's what you get for sending a bunch of paladins to my tower, skullfucker! i highly recommend summoning a cadre of gimp imps. the last time a bunch of paladins showed up at my place they ended up having their deepest closeted desires fulfilled and they all became fallen it's not even hard to maintain their loyalty, just pop over to the mandarake and buy them a bunch of eromanga every few months and you're golden
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Mar 1, 2019 21:31
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rap music posted:welp just hexed the thread lmao owned idiots looks like u hexed yourself bitch
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Mar 2, 2019 00:23
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Colonel Cancer posted:What the gently caress is a phone, my wizard? look at this harry potter rear end motherfucker who refuses to incorporate modern technology into his sorcerous lifestyle
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Mar 2, 2019 07:41
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SniperWoreConverse posted:dang i'm late to the thread again what's new in goon esoterics ? this isn't very new but i gained the favor of the japanese fox goddess a few years back, except i have this problem where i've been an arcanist all my life so i have no experience with divine magic whatsoever. i've had free Luck-domain divine casting all this time and no idea how to invoke it at all. i'm definitely not the clericking type, should i take some druish classes at the local CC or something? Colonel Cancer posted:Aren't dragons like real smart? probably not if half the sorcerers in this thread are any indication Pththya-lyi posted:Hey gently caress you, you lying bestiality apologist. Reported dragons aren't beasts they're sentient creatures and it's unethical to keep them as pets. your "princess" probably thinks you're a nest-robbing jackass and has likely declared a thousand year fatwah upon you and your kin Fur20 fucked around with this message at 21:06 on Mar 2, 2019 |
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Mar 2, 2019 20:58
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Blazing Ownager posted:Show me a dragon that uses all their horded wealth to buy a kickass dragon-sized castle and you'll prove me wrong. dragon logic is like hobo logic. if you flaunt it, some human is just gonna come and shank you and they already have enough problems with that without building a big sign that says "RICH DRAGON HERE." besides the hoarded wealth thing is generally a fallacy. most dragons just gather whatever poo poo they like and call it treasure. maybe they'll have like five or six gemstones in their collection at most but usually it's just whatever is rare or interesting in that era. these days lots of dragons collect those waifu body pillow covers and i don't have to tell you how much those are worth like sure after five or six hundred years original shakespearean manuscripts are gonna be worth millions but the dragon wants em just because Fur20 fucked around with this message at 21:13 on Mar 2, 2019 |
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Mar 2, 2019 21:08
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reignofevil posted:It was a water spirit that sank the titanic you could try building a big boat and see if she feels like capsizing it if he's a fuckin archdruid then he can use his powers to steal a cruise liner and then sacrifice it to his waifu of the lake that's the best part about being a druid, you don't have to be doing good or evil as long as it's helping the environment
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Mar 3, 2019 01:36
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get with the times grandpa. you need to start a movement on twitter, that's the only thing brats listen to these days. frame it as being destructive to the native wildlife, like get some photos of some birds choking on these stones or someshit. someone will doxx those reindeer kids into hiding until they're well into their twenties
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Mar 3, 2019 01:40
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shapeshifting is the weakest super power because even if you shapeshift yourself to be less fat you'll still have a artherosclerotic soul
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Mar 3, 2019 20:57
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you still won't know any magic but you might be able to trick some especially stupid people into thinking you do. but these days you'll probably just look like a crazy bum to most people
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Mar 3, 2019 21:01
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Ollu posted:I also fuel their motorcycles with crystals from the earth that channel the power of the sun, but that's just an added bonus to reduce my carbon footprint. so you... put solar panels on their bikes i didn't realize druids were so handy these days
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Mar 3, 2019 21:58
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Drunk Driver Dad posted:Got a pretty good selfie today of me doing some magic drat dude have some class. you're just casting leleicus helepona no need to put on a fuckin show
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Mar 3, 2019 23:05
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btw i figured out how to bend the aether to mimic the action of galahad's generous growth without any of the boring component-gathering or geometric poo poo. so anyone who wants me to enchant them an Eversmoking Pipe just lmk. i can do Eversmoking Vapes too but it needs to be the kind where you're vaping live plant matter. i accept paypal oh and no sherlocks, makes y'all look like tools. churchwardens and kiserus i'll do for $5 cheaper cuz i like those
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Mar 6, 2019 06:13
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plants only. BUT i met this burned out old bard at a party once who said that someday i'm gonna get old and shriveled like him. which btw not happening, eternal youth potion bby still, yknow listen to your elders, they have much wisdom, and i tell you what he told me: you can work around this. Barkskin first, Generous Growth after. think outside the box
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Mar 6, 2019 06:36
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WITCHCRAFT posted:The reindeer people have been doing some kind of end of winter/spring reincarnation holiday. I mean, I totally understand how exciting the end of winter is, especially this far north. It means a lot to me too, as a druid. I may not plow a field or hunt beasts for their flesh, but my arts wither in the cold months. You can't help but get excited when the thaw begins. adventurers have bigger fish to fry than some loud teenagers, this sounds like a matter for the local police and no self respecting thaumaturgian would talk to a loving cop beat em or join em grandpa
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Mar 6, 2019 21:11
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:I go oldschool. I keep it in an egg, in a duck, in a hare, in a log, in a pond, on a secret island - and I won't talk about what the island's inside of, or any of the other layers, but let's just say it gets pretty six-dimensional. the critical flaw in your plan is that when you reanimate, you'll appear naked in an egg, in a duck, in a hare, in a log etc etc. how are you gonna get out of the n-th dimension without at least a planar planer? and of course putting one of those in your most secretive pocket of space is just asking for looky-loos on the extradimensional superhighway to come around gawking at you exploding out of a log covered in the insides of an egg, a duck, and a hare and then your secret phylactery location is really out there
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Mar 7, 2019 08:37
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reignofevil posted:You should go offer your services to the peasants and then start steering them toward the statue with the intent on stealing the gem and bringing it back to you. Keep this grift going! peasants aren't that dumb anymore, they'll probably just google that post and then you're fuuuuuuucked this is why my eternal youth potion doesn't stop the clock, just the aging. i never wanna get to be hundreds of years old and disconnected from modern civilization otherwise i'll make mistakes like this, except when they figure out the grift they'll be bringing stolen capital starships instead of torches and pitchforks Fur20 fucked around with this message at 20:34 on Mar 7, 2019 |
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Mar 7, 2019 20:30
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is it landlocked, i can't do anything with a landlocked fortress but you would be amazed at the poo poo you can get away with if you have the ocean on one side
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Mar 9, 2019 06:24
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naem posted:I don’t know, the UnderDeep is pretty full already and it’s a pretty specific social crowd you find down there, might want to think if you’ll fit in cthulhu is just a really common elderclan name, most cthulhus are super chill
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Mar 14, 2019 03:04
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dudeness posted:Has anyone found a good cauldron mixing stance? I threw my back out when I had to chuck a fat batch of strength juice (I know I know, ironic) that went volatile and I now I can't stir in using the classic "hunched over double handed" brah just join a paddling regatta. you'll be stirring like a ripped seafarer
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Mar 19, 2019 03:58
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Grizzwold posted:I'm getting to the point in my career where I figure I should start working on not having to deal with a finite lifespan. I have a pretty solid grasp of enchanting so I think it might be a neat idea to become an incorporeal spirit that possesses assorted magical objects. Mostly thinking suits of armor, golems, or related but I might just gently caress around as some adventurer's magic sword once in a while to pass the time. Is that a good idea or should I just stick to the usual routes? i knew this intelligent sword once, could not loving shut up about how boring it was to be a sword. i strongly advise against it
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Mar 19, 2019 08:07
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Outrail posted:That's a shame, if you're still on speaking terms coukd you introduce me to her rider? the death knight is the armor is riding the girl and the horse idiot
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Mar 20, 2019 03:19
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reignofevil posted:When you're a young spark using your extrasensory powers to try and scry whether Goku was gonna escape namek and suddenly you're under visit from the national authorities for unregistered prophecy. #millenialmagii the only thing i ever got out of ψ was some basic technomancy. now i know that an unread email just arrived. oh boy. someone is typing a message that's about to ping me. no poo poo! fuckin useless
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Mar 23, 2019 06:52
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dudeness posted:Food $3,600 wtf how many minions did you summon? how much do you feed them? look man as a sorcerer i don't typically have much use for dusty old tomes and warning labels on catalysts but i tell you what the school of conjuration has been at this way longer than you or me and when their books say "only feed each imp one crumb of bread a day, and never after midnight" they loving mean it
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Apr 22, 2019 04:29
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Nastyman posted:Vvv I'm not allowed to use wish spells anymore after I tried to help my uncle off a horse and for good reason this is definitely the post of a wizard with a negative wisdom modifier Swedish Thaumocracy posted:Hey there, Slimegineer (student) here again. What you want is a fireslime. I know I know, it sounds cliche right? Fighting fire with fire? But there is a bit of truth to every fable, and the truth here is simply that fireslimes just love to eat fire. don't listen to this man everyone knows madam pele only curses you if you steal earth made from her lava. she dgaf about fire slimes e for source: i was apprenticed to a dark magic kahuna until he realized i was completely devoid of talent in both hexing and headology. still, he taught me everything you need to know about the old pantheons. which that's fine by me, i've always been more about star magic and illusions but this kupuna had hells of moxy. one time this punk haole stole his shine still so he tracked this kid down with blood forensics. but when we rolled up on him, he's acting like he's hot poo poo, so my master takes this stick and breaks it into seven pieces, and he says, every day, i'm gonna burn one of these pieces, and every piece that burns, you're gonna get weaker and weaker until you die. i probably don't need to tell you how this ends but long story short he got his still back and he keeps the kid's soul in a jar like a lava lamp, he still had it last time i went to visit Fur20 fucked around with this message at 20:15 on Apr 22, 2019 |
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Apr 22, 2019 20:00
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Colonel Cancer posted:So anyhow, I was trying to summon a couple of imps. You know, the usual low level conjuration, just to see if it'd work. Got the sacrifice, got the circle, got the bargaining materials, but when I completed the ritual I've got a big chungus in leather mask and studded armor! Did Hell Bureaucracy implement some new rules or something? This... imp, I guess, is nothing like the pictures in masters monster manuals. Doesn't even bargain or try to doom my immortal soul, it's just staring at me. you know how in final fantasy 7 sometimes you summon chocobo mog and sometimes you summon fat chocobo, it's just up to chance? irl summoning works the same way
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Apr 22, 2019 23:26
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Outrail posted:My degenerate roommate at Wizzzard U thought it'd be a great idea to make a flesh golem for 'personal use'. Worst year of my life. i had a cousin who went to Seen U and they got kicked out for using the alchemy lab to create a chimera plant that grew as fast as seaweed but it made  -weed instead of kelpi warned him that the school was gonna keep his formula and wait for their state to legalize it, and that's exactly what they're doing
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Apr 23, 2019 00:48
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Skypie posted:It is a good trap if you want to end a heroic bloodline though. Slimegirl with a few transmogrification spells and plant her in his life. Let them fall in love and whoops he melted off his balls so now he can't father a new generation of heroes you gotta be careful about this. always make sure he doesn't already have kids somewhere else, plus there's that pesky Inheritance power from eastern schools of magic and if the family learned that before you killed them off then all bets are off, he can just give his power to whichever new hero he likes in about just one century otoh Inheritance is a great spell that a sufficiently motivated arcanist can always learn themselves 
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Apr 23, 2019 01:38
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at that point you're better off just making a futa homunculus imo you're on your own for a philosopher's stone though, used mine in that eternal youth potion. price was too high imo but i'd already paid it so w/e
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Apr 23, 2019 03:13
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language immersion programs suck, your kids don't get exposed to enough Common and then it interferes with their ability to do math in Common later in life. which, i ain't begrudge any natural sorcerer who would rather study wizardry, and Infernal doesn't even have words for doing basic algebra. Sylvan is ok... if you're a fuckin nerd. tutoring is the way to go. if you really want to give your kids a leg up find someone who can teach them Druidic--actually pretty much anyone who teaches it doesn't have magical talent, linguists and scholars typically aren't bound to secrecy like a real druid after all and they'll usually know how to teach on top of that. if you know some tengus Akvo is also a top shelf wizarding language. slip some of that into your incantations and just about anybody who doesn't understand it will think you really fuckin mean business
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Jun 7, 2019 04:28
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poison juicero, grandma though that's honestly more roguery than witchery but whatever gets the job done imo
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Jun 7, 2019 06:22
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super sweet best pal posted:loving druids seized yet another of my herb patches. Said I was exploiting the environment for personal gain. Of course they'll have a monopoly on disease curing potions next time a disease rolls around. So yeah, I'm pissed off at them again. dude you have to mark your area as your domain. any rear end in a top hat who tries to start poo poo in the area under MY arcane umbrella will find that his bones are suddenly transmuting to acid. that probably won't work on wildland druids though so i recommend this spell i picked up while studying urban druidry in shibuya: Blood to Bleach. forest druids might be able to survive acidification but if you start turning them into materials that don't occur in nature they are hosed Fur20 fucked around with this message at 20:23 on Jun 7, 2019 |
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Jun 7, 2019 20:17
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 07:50 |
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naem posted:It’s weird being high level; one day you’re flushing some corpses down a cess-pit after a heist goes wrong, the next you’re accidentally the arch nemesis of several middling religious orders heh you're being too archaic in your thinking. go big or go home, take a page from those japanese video games and just kill their god. bam, your divine caster problems are now solved
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Jun 9, 2019 21:27
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