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EAT poo poo NECROLOSERS -trollmage
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Mar 3, 2019 06:36
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 09:30 |
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Ok but make sure you're not doing any negative energy magic, one time while I was raising undead I sneezed out a rope of black pudding that tried to stab me with my own ritual dagger. Good times but I couldn't figure out how to weaponize it.
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Jul 29, 2019 08:18
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sweet geek swag posted:Oh here's a funny way to deal with druids. If you live in a country with a strong central court system and constabulary, sue them in court. Druids never show up to court, and you'll get a default judgement against them. Once you get a restraining order against them, if they try to freeze you out you can just tell the cops they are in violation of court order. Cops hate druids. pfft, lawful evil. gross.
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Jul 29, 2019 13:47
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summoners are such loving dilweeds. Listen I worked hard to draw these monsters to my basilica of torment from their home realms, I won't get hosed by some shithead pokemon going and making weird soul-pacts and dragging my employees away. The tricky part is the soul bond is nullifying the runes I put on them to send them berserk if they're ever teleported away so I'm wondering how the gently caress I'm supposed to stop them
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Aug 22, 2019 04:58
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Crimson Harvest posted:Chemical berserk. Start feeding them something magical with violent withdrawal symptoms. Even really basic magical animal carcasses can have pretty serious effects if consumed without refining first. Nyaaa hell yeah, plus getting my minions hooked on smack is good for my evil rating.
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Aug 28, 2019 01:23
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So I just cuffed a wizard invading my Dark Abbey when I found a weird loaf of like, green spongey bullshit turns out it was troll jerky He was just using prestidigitation to make it taste good and eating one piece of endlessly regenerating troll jerky I felt so bad for that millennial rear end wizard I just teleported him home. like... drat.
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Aug 28, 2019 01:57
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although... troll skin toilet paper 
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Aug 28, 2019 01:58
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fun prank for the winter is to get a troll-cloning cycle going than collect all the heads, you need the heads because they regenerate into a full adult troll and not a runty troll foal. Than distribute them liberally during a blizzard, send an ice elemental or fly over or just teleport the entire lot into the sky over an area. Once you get a non sub-zero day... presto, trolls loving everywhere all over the crops and fields. 'oh no my peasant wife and kids are being eaten' hahaha.
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Aug 28, 2019 02:43
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I know that was you missing out on a sick interdimensional meme but by god is felt between the dummy thicc rear end cheeks a loving great idea. Don't kinkshame me about my half-ogre barbarian girlfriend. When you're pushing 600 you need to get spicier in the sack.
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Aug 30, 2019 09:41
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Skypie posted:Jacking up prices on proper schools was definitely done by a cabal of evil wizards. Making it more difficult for people to learn makes it less likely a good wizard can challenge us..er...Them. I meant them Ah to be a closeted lawful dweeb. I snort crystalized puppy souls and I'm living my best chaotic evil life and I'm telling you its worth it. Cut your lovely ties with society and just burn anyone you don't like.
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Sep 3, 2019 02:25
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SpiritOfLenin posted:Uh, so I'm doing some freelance work for the local Dark Gods, subtly manipulating people with my magic to turn them crazy, creating evil monsters, you know, standard stuff, but I've got a problem. Ooooh poo poo, classic evil blunder. Never use YOUR soul on a contract. That's the reason most competent evil bastards keep a few true believers around. It might SEEM tasty at first but the bullshit balance of good and evil means you're either going to get drawn into a forever war and get soul-sucked by your own pactholder or you're going to get smited by some shitheel locked in on the other side of the equation and... soul sucked by your own pactholder. Most true evil wizards are soulless for this very reason since the souls of sinners are like crack to demons. Keep that poo poo secure preferably a few planes deep. You're not completely hosed out of luck though, if you can stall off on getting dusted by that angel you can probably switch out your soul with someone else. After that you just gotta have a convincing death and mind-swap and bim bam boom you're free and clear. Completely illegal of course but lawful evil is strictly for shitheads anyway as you probably guessed when you accidentally signed up for the hellwar dumbass.
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Sep 19, 2019 11:34
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chin up everything sucks posted:I dunno, I feel really uncomfortable trying to get virgins to fill a JO crystal for me to steal. Soul crystals leave me feeling a lot less dirty. Plus every spell you cast with these fuckin' things leaves a lasting aroma of squid... gross.
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Feb 15, 2020 01:31
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 09:30 |
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The White Dragon posted:i fuckin hate anarchomancers, they think sorcery is genetic and wizardry is ivory tower poo poo but actually they just want to take the shortcut to learning true magic without having to have a psychadelic experience and then walking ten thousand miles to find just barely enough enlightenment to learn sage spells OKHAI BHOOMAR Sorry about your dick, old man.
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Jun 11, 2020 23:21
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