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What's up losers, I'm a ragecaster. The true symbiosis of barbarian rage and arcane power, all in one convenient eldritch package. Want fireball? You got it. Want mighty thews and oversized swords? Got it. Heck I've even got eldritch powers that scare and unnerve, my great grandmother knew a demon.
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Feb 28, 2019 05:14
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 11:21 |
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MORTALS. AND BITTLE LITCHES. You have spent your pathetic lives poring over books and playing with your wands while I pillaged and ruled with an iron fist. I drank DEEP from the goblet of life while you were trying to summon a girlfriend or whatever it is you losers do. And now I am DEAD in KNIGHTHOOD, a death knight if you will, and can still bench an adolescent dragon. Heck I can even throw fireballs, and I have no idea what they are.
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Feb 28, 2019 05:31
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The only thing LACKING is your manhood, magic user. Or womanhood, anyone WORTHY can become KNIGHTED in DEATH.
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Feb 28, 2019 05:35
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Speak on, SQUIRE. It is the truth, wizards DROOL.
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Feb 28, 2019 06:19
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The White Dragon posted:Yeah but your spell progression sucks even worse than me and I spent like eight levels learning Urban Rangery But, you can get real ANGRY and fireballs just come out. Calm concentration and drawing circles with chalk like a preschooler? gently caress that, get angry, cast Suggestion by screaming at people.
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Feb 28, 2019 06:42
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I SUGGEST you STICK THAT WAND UP YOUR ARSE! JUST A SUGGESTION ARGH
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Feb 28, 2019 06:51
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Are monks wizards? I saw one step from one side of the street to the other and back again in a blink of an eye. That's gotta be magic right? All the fuckin arrow catching too. Pretty sure they are just uppity apprentices who cover up their unenlightened magics with some chai and crystals mumbo jumbo.
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Feb 28, 2019 10:23
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If you want to be certain about your childrens bloodline, go for the original font of power. Don't risk it with mongrel mages, if you want your children to have that draconic bloodline go gently caress a dragon.
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Feb 28, 2019 22:33
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Sure you might get burnt to a crisp or sire *shudder* half dragons but if you can't stand the heat, get out of dragons lair.
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Feb 28, 2019 22:34
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Just be a nice mage.
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Feb 28, 2019 22:58
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This is a reminder that discharging Wizard Loans is against The Law. You must obey The Law, magic user. Proceed.
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Feb 28, 2019 23:19
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I think you need to be a cleric to turn undead. Should have thought twice before practicing wizardry, apostate!
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Mar 1, 2019 22:19
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Bob the cleric turns undead. His face loses all color, lips and eyes dry out and whiten. He whispers "boo". This is just another example of discrimination and unfair stereotypes about differently living. The god botherers shouldn't be allowed to do this poo poo.
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Mar 1, 2019 22:55
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rap music posted:welp just hexed the thread lmao owned idiots I'm behind wall of fire binch can't get to me
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Mar 2, 2019 00:23
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What is this lich doing to two invisible stalkers!?
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Mar 2, 2019 05:04
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It's illusions duh. He's just a puny skeleton, ha! I want to kick sand at him on the beach.
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Mar 2, 2019 05:16
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What the gently caress is a phone, my wizard?
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Mar 2, 2019 07:03
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Aren't dragons like real smart?
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Mar 2, 2019 20:03
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reignofevil posted:That's a myth. No creature that wants to horde something as precious as gold but then never actually spends it on anything could be intelligent. gently caress I've heard dragons SLEEP on the gold. Hey idiot, it's called a mattress. ... The aristocrats! Am I right fellas?
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Mar 2, 2019 20:12
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I've met a semi lich before, and it had few pleasant things to say about this "guild" of yours.
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Mar 2, 2019 20:13
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Ear to ear grin is the resting lich face, I don't know what you got.
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Mar 2, 2019 20:18
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Dragons have long abandoned currency as an outdated idea. What you think of as treasure is more like stacks of decades old newspapers in a hoarders home.
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Mar 2, 2019 20:38
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When life gives you free dragon eggs, make an omelette or something.
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Mar 2, 2019 21:06
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Dragons don't hoard wealth because of its implied intrinsic worth. They are removing currency out of hands of pink skin mortals because of its inherent danger to abolition of private property and classless society. Once dragons hoard all the treasure, millenia old contingency will move it far beyond reach of mortal kin, forcing them to create some kind of full gay arcanomagical communist utopia.
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Mar 2, 2019 21:10
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I love reflecting mind control spells on hedge wizards (dumb idiots who dropped out of prestigious institution to sit in a tower and play with their wands) and making them think that they are in control.
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Mar 2, 2019 21:55
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Dumb scrybabies.
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Mar 3, 2019 06:37
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What if you shapeshift into like a wizard?
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Mar 3, 2019 20:59
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Shapeshift into a sorcerer then. Maybe you can't shapeshift yourself 50 years of not getting laid and flipping through some grimoires, but dragon blood? Easy.
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Mar 3, 2019 21:09
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Just cast mending smh.
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Mar 5, 2019 02:29
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Literally pissing on your phylastery right now, evil doer! And then my celestial horse will take a turn!
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Mar 5, 2019 06:37
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Imagine a troll, bred for expansive memory and trained in most exquisite memorization methods like Bigsby Mind Palace. You chop off one of its paws and keep the wound cauterized, magically preserve the limb and entrust it in hands of your trusted lieutenant. Then you send them off on a foolhardy mission of some sort, far far away, with total assurance that you can communicate with them regardless of distance and magical conditions - just get the troll to memorize a message, and burn it to ashes! Within minutes it will regenerate from its preserved limb, serving as a handy reinforcement and a quick messenger at once.
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Mar 6, 2019 04:36
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I hope you have a ring of at least 25g value, buddy.
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Mar 6, 2019 05:59
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Evil Protection : you are protected but also evil. Never leave home without it.
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Mar 6, 2019 06:09
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An intelligent sword that slowly but surely binds their user's weak willed body to eternal unquestioned service. That works pretty well on the martial types. First of course you will have to make an intelligent sword and bring it up from daggerhood into full fledged swordhood and make sure that it shares all your beliefs and biases so really maybe it's not worth the trouble.
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Mar 6, 2019 17:05
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Have you tried sending waves of weaker minions at him, in amounts just enough to moderately challenge his resources and abilities?
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Mar 6, 2019 17:22
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Liches are such dorks. All you need is a tiny prick on your neck, and immortality is yours as a powerful vampire. Disappear into the mist, have powerful gaze attacks, and actually look good while doing so. Sure you can't go outside whenever you want and there's some new nutritional needs but let's face it you were not gonna leave your moms wizard tower anyways. And who doesn't have gallons upon gallons of fresh blood?
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Mar 7, 2019 10:35
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Outrail posted:Sounds legit, I'm not going to question our resident expert on tiny picks. Once you are undead, the circulation is gone so it really comes with the territory. Or doesn't come. Such is the price of immortality.
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Mar 7, 2019 18:55
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All you need is one decent cult and these suckers will follow you to the end. Heck you don't even need to be a cleric, I've known sorcerers who could cult like no other.
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Mar 7, 2019 20:03
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Nothing shameful about some divine eblow grease to ensure your immortality. I've been a faithful servant to the God of Taxes for 300 years now and I figure I've got an eternity to go as long as civilization of any sort exists. Just gotta follow The Law and say a prayer now and then and you are good to go!
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Mar 7, 2019 20:22
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 11:21 |
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Just animate a dead whale, it's like 3rd year necromancy at best. Do scry before you surface, some of the whaling captains are not right in their heads.
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Mar 14, 2019 09:10
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