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TRIUMPH OF THE "RETART" : A "Daria" Fan Fiction Story https://www.fanfiction.net/s/994/1/Triumph-of-the-Retart "Whoever you are, thank you," David said; "You're the first student I ever met who gave a drat about me." He was sobbing uncontrollably now. "I'm Daria Morgendorffer," she said. "I guess you already know my friend Jane Lane." "Yes, I do, " David said. "I'm David MacAllister. I was going to my math class when they began to harass me." David then dried his eyes and took a good look at Daria. "Did anyone ever tell you that you look cute?," he said. Daria was dumbstruck by that. She began to blush. "Uh, actually, no," she finally replied. With that, David suddenly French kissed her. Daria sprung back, more in shock than in anger. "Did I tell you that David has never really gone out with girls?," Jane said. "Sorry!," pleaded David. "That's OK," Daria said, "I guess you were carried away by the emotional response. Just don't do that again, or I'll scratch your eyes out." She added a grin to that, to let him know that she was just kidding, so that he wouldn't freak out again. * * * Mrs. MacAllister went on, "What tears me is that David told me that students like him are warehoused into one wing of the school and have to stay there the whole day. That's about as bad as the days where African-Americans had to use separate bathrooms." * * * Todd had never really been to Lawndale before. He tried to beat the information out of Beavis and Butt-Head, who had went to the big football game between Highland and Lawndale last year, but those two gave rather half-assed directions. He finally got them from a map. He got together some area thugs and were now descending on the MacAllister residence. Todd pounded on the front door. It was opened by Warren. "Can I help you, Sir?," Warren said. "We want to speak to your son, David," Todd shouted back. "I'm sorry," Warren said, "but he's doing his homework." Todd forced the door open and stormed in, with the thugs following him. "Tie him and his wife up!," Todd said. Two of the thugs grabbed Warren and tied him to a chair in the living room. Two others did the same to Deanna in the kitchen, where she was preparing dinner. Todd and the rest went up to David's room. David saw who it was and cringed. "We've got a message for you from Sandi and the Fashion Club, you retart!," Todd said as three of the thugs now descended on David, brandishing chains, steel rods and wooden boards. They began to beat him up. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!," David screamed as the thugs beat him up. "This should teach you a lesson to drop out of the race for Student Government President," yelled Todd. * * * Quinn then looked at the agenda and said, "The next order of business is the introduction of amendments to the Student Government Constitution so as to give Special Education students a voice in this government. Here to make a speech in favor of it is the Student Government President, David MacAllister." Quinn stepped aside from the podium as David returned. Todd knew that it was now or later. He focused the gun on David in the crosshairs as he stepped up to the podium. "Die, fukcer!," he growled to himself as he wrapped his finger around the trigger. Suddenly, the door burst open, and Daria and Jane rushed in. "DON'T DO IT, TODD!," Daria yelled at him. Quinn suddenly saw the flash of cold steel in the dark. "GET OUT OF THE WAY, DAVID!," Quinn screamed as she shoved David out of the way. Todd fired the rifle. The bullet buried itself in Quinn's right breast, dropping her like lead. Screams and panic filled the air. Daria and Jane rushed at him. Todd yelled in anger and lunged right at them. Trent, Rage Against the Machine and the Straight-Edgers rushed onto the stage. Trent looked at Quinn. "Someone call 911, dammit!," Trent yelled. "David, are you all right?," Corey asked him. "Yes, I am," David answered. "Believe it or not, I owe my life to Quinn."
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Mar 22, 2019 13:46
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Beast Wars On The Price Is Right By: Moon Kitty The beast warriors become contestants on The Price Is Right! Published: Jun 17, 2000 Inferno: The game is called "Hole-in-One" Cheetor: (Very excited) I know this game! Inferno: Good, because I wasn't going to explain it anyway… ~ Later, Cheetor got all the prizes wrong, so he should have to putt from the farthest line from the hole, but… ~ Inferno: Well, since you're a minor, we'll let you putt from the first line. Cheetor: Cool! (Not even understanding what Inferno meant) ~ Cheetor gets ready to putt, 1 inch away from the hole. But when he hits the gulf ball, it misses the hole completely! ~ Inferno: That was pathetic! ~ The audience is laughing now ~ Cheetor: Aw man! (He walks away, head down in embarrassment) ~ Unfortunately for Cheetor, he just happens to step on a land mine ~ KABOOM! ~ We see little pieces of Cheetor landing all over the studio ~ Inferno: (To no one in particular) Remind me to thank Who's drat Insane for those land mines… Megatron: And I thought his name was Suddam Hussein or something like that. Inferno: Like anyone cares Megatron: True
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Apr 30, 2019 15:13
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so is the 2005 edition of A Nintendo Fan's Lust no longer canon because I am very, very interested in revisions to (a) fluid splashing (b) fluid drinking (c) detailed descriptions of female fertilization
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Sep 24, 2019 00:26
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