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to answer your first question: yes i used the candles to summon a Turkey Demon and have spent the past several months attempting to exorcise it from my in-law's new addition. when lit they filled the house with a rich brothy aroma which still lingers + haunts me. i didn't update the thread because i got distracted and wandered off. hello! it's your ol pal phiz, former host of BYOB's haikusday and inspiritor of the TRUCKFUCKLERS gang tag. you probably remember me from the time i called you a white nationalist and told you to climb up my rear end and pilot me like a meat-gundam. i'm not sorry! i've done a bunch of other inexcusably online poo poo under a variety of undisclosable monikers, including more than one screengrab in an old Weekend Web feature. PYF's forum quotes thread has also quoted several of my posts, including the ones about my wife breeding a man-sized swarm of beetles. none of these are actual qualifications. I was at the last National Poetry Slam before the whole organization went bankrupt. I'm banned on the MENSA forums. Legally I'm still considered an admiral by the state of Pennsylvania. Which is landlocked. I used to write for Cracked and a bunch of way less notable websites. I want to write for this one. I have wanted to write for Something Awful since I discovered it, three days after getting my first home internet connection. Now I think I'm finally funny enough to do so. I can edit video okay and I also do audio. I'm eager to do an epic fantasy audiobook satire because as a teen I read so much Sword of Truth it pickled my brain. I think that might resonate with the site's audience. I know tabletop RPG podcasts are super popular, I could helm something like that. To demonstrate my power I went ahead and recorded 12 minutes of me reading some wizard smut I wrote years ago. It's extremely not work safe. I read a later story when I was the feature at a poetry open mic and, during an android j/o scene, used a portable power drill for sound effects, if you were curious how Weird I am capable of getting. (very Weird.) What follows is a short sample article of something I could do in like a GQ ad copy voice: quote:EVERYMAN: A Product from Unilever I understand Lowtax might not see this for a while & that's fine he needs rest so, dear forums compatriots, what kind of poo poo would you want to have me create for your enjoyment? let's get a bouquet ready. please be gentle it took several months of psyching-up to make this post.
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Mar 20, 2019 22:15
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 17:14 |
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oh no
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Mar 21, 2019 03:51
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Get on up there, Heero Yaoi, pilot of the MS my muscular buttox
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Mar 21, 2019 17:16
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There's a front page?!?! Edit: poo poo thought this was a gbs post my bad so sorry interwhat fucked around with this message at 14:37 on Oct 4, 2019 |
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Oct 4, 2019 02:27
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It can't be worse than the current frontpage writers. (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
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Oct 5, 2019 04:16
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i think the OP should be allowed to write for the front page
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Oct 5, 2019 10:29
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:i think the OP should be allowed to write for the front page I agree.
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Oct 6, 2019 11:44
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You know what I'm all about making dreams come true so I say let the OP write for the front page, why not
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Oct 12, 2019 18:40
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:i think the OP should be allowed to write for the front page Seconded
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Oct 24, 2019 03:57
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yeah why not
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Oct 30, 2019 21:13
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Is this still active? Does the OP still want to come write for the front page? If so I can try to help set up a meeting with Lowtax. I don't know what he's looking for right now in general but if you want to jump in head first I know we need people for Photoshop Phridays, I could plug you in real fast there. The front page doesn't pay writers anymore and it probably never will again, just so you know up front. But volunteers really are appreciated, I'm sorry nobody noticed you sooner. PM me if you're still interested. Edit- this goes for anybody interested in volunteering, there are, obviously, lots of open positions. BoldFrankensteinMir fucked around with this message at 22:02 on Nov 3, 2019 |
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Nov 3, 2019 21:49
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this thread needs to go on the front page, i think: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3902396
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Nov 4, 2019 17:21
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I agree with the OP and with this thread, and with the thread that was posted by the OP in this thread
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Nov 30, 2019 22:54
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Dick Bastardly posted:I agree with the OP and with this thread, and with the thread that was posted by the OP in this thread a good idea for a frontpage article would be a thread, in this, the frontpage discussion forum. then people can submit longform stuff they write, and maybe once in a while one or two can get plucked and posted? i don't know.
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Dec 1, 2019 16:26
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I'd be down for this thread becoming a place for submitting ideas for articles, we need a resource like that. If a mod could give it the Humor tag instead that might be nice. Here's the low-down on getting published: there are currently plans for a major push next year on the front page, including more regular Phridays, the rebirth of Comedy Goldmine, and other cosmic wonders yet to be seen. The #1 thing we need for this to happen is volunteers: writers, editors, artists, musicians, animators, programmers, web developers, marketers, community outreach people and more. There are lots of open slots for original content but everything has to be approved by Lowtax (including just basic access permissions) and right now we're giving him some space, so the best way for anybody to join up is to start on existing properties he's already approved (Phridays and Goldmine). I know curating the forums is not very glamorous but it's really the only thing I can offer right now. If you are interested in volunteering even just a few hours a week, PM me and I will: 1- be your new best friend. 2- do everything I can to find opportunities for your original content on the front page when the right channels for submitting to Lowtax reopen. In the meantime if you just want to post things in here that might make cool articles that's fine, but I can not guarantee the big boss will read them any time soon. HP and I are both in pretty regular contact with Rich but he has his plate full right now and there's jack we can do about it except support him from a respectable distance. What I can do is push for people who already work for us to be first in line for his attention when it's available again.
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Dec 2, 2019 01:41
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:HP and I are both in pretty regular contact with Rich but he has his plate full right now and there's jack we can do about it except support him from a respectable distance. What I can do is push for people who already work for us to be first in line for his attention when it's available again. rich is kinda occupied. it's not a huge giant rear end deal but i mean, life before internet, i think. if he didn't like SA it wouldn't exist. forum posters being funny and smart and interesting can make it to the frontpage, i mean i'm a friggin' post toxx thread mental health breakdown idiot and i'm helping with phridays. if i can do it, u can also. honestly phiz i love ur posts. if i can help you get poo poo done, i will.
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Dec 2, 2019 01:51
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i'm still 100% committed to the ideas i've pitched to BFM and lowtax. i just got a better mic and i'd love to run a SomethingAwful RPG podcast.
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Dec 26, 2019 05:20
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also bookmarking this thread will help me notice when it's posted in. heather if you had to do a "Fashion SWAT" type article where we riff on some images/videos about a subject, what would you choose
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Dec 26, 2019 05:22
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Sound like Trump then read A Fancy Hat posts It’s a sure fire way of making people laugh, angry, or confused. Maybe SA can get in the books for being the first (and shittiest) Deep Fake or something
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Dec 30, 2019 01:29
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:also bookmarking this thread will help me notice when it's posted in. i think the weird video game/super hero branded "high fashion" collections would be funny. or cosplay swat? also going and doing like a lolita/ganguro thru the ages would rule.
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Dec 30, 2019 16:16
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Heather Papps posted:i think the weird video game/super hero branded "high fashion" collections would be funny. or cosplay swat? also going and doing like a lolita/ganguro thru the ages would rule. i love that idea - "high fashion" nerd poo poo - political wankers like roger stone and duerterte (i've got a funny story about roger stone) - racist militias and other far-right culture warriors (sup baked alaska) - masked DJs - dipshit internet celebrities - televangelists - bollywood action scenes. Overseas fashion in general would be rich pickings, especially focusing on how america has influenced other countries. In addition to ganguro, there's a subtype of nordic redneck who wear biker jackets and fly confederate flags. Africa has a thriving 80s style metal scene, and I'm sure there's something happening in Russia we could use as well. On the Bollywood note, there's two separate films whose opening theme features the main character interfering in a footrace. There's gotta be something going on there. we also gotta use this one, because it's got a fetus pole dancing. PHIZ KALIFA fucked around with this message at 16:04 on Jan 2, 2020 |
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Jan 2, 2020 15:53
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If we got a steady Fashion SWAT esque or WTF D&D type review feature going again it would do a lot towards filling in the schedule. I loved those articles so much I copied the format shamelessly back in the late 00's, it'd be great to revisit.
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Jan 2, 2020 19:41
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is this anything? PHIZ KALIFA posted:IT IS DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS AND MY CHARACTER IS: A FORKLIFT OPERATOR.
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Jan 3, 2020 02:00
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:is this anything? Imo it's a good pitch for an article. If you could write it as a narrative of this character having an "adventure" instead of directly explaining their characteristics I think it could be a wonderful article.
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Jan 3, 2020 02:07
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^^ Thank you for your feedback. I was going for a specific tone similar to these pieces but I can see I may have missed a mark. put the byob goldmine on the front page: https://forums.somethingawful.com/forumdisplay.php?forumid=176
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Jan 11, 2020 04:42
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:^^ Thank you for your feedback. I was going for a specific tone similar to these pieces but I can see I may have missed a mark. Could just be my ignorance. What you wrote is funny. I think it sort of put me in mind of Zack's "Blue Stripe" series and my brain just went to "oh it should be more like that." But of course it's silly to expect someone to just copy another's style and not really fair to compare anyone to Zack.
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Jan 11, 2020 06:54
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I still think the OP should be allowed to write for the front page
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Jan 19, 2020 18:39
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So do I! So if you happen to see Lowtax around do bug him about it, this has all been on his to-do list for months now and there are a bunch of people pissed off.
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Jan 19, 2020 22:44
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I'm not pissed off. I understand dude's in a poo poo sandwich of a position and it's not like i've got a handle on my life right now either. Me and Papps should have something forthcoming shortly.
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Jan 20, 2020 01:00
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Yeah, good point. People are frustrated, I should say. I'm frustrated. But it's also understandable.
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Jan 20, 2020 01:26
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:Yeah, good point. People are frustrated, I should say. I'm frustrated. But it's also understandable. I'm bemused but that's my general outlook. I got my username on the fp, and a few images in the articles proper. If this ride ends here I'd be happy but I'd much rather  !!!
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Jan 20, 2020 01:33
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:... laid to rest beneath a pile of murdered horses. This is beautiful, man.
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Feb 4, 2020 21:26
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Xaintrailles posted:This is beautiful, man. thanku :> my dnd games were NOT ASPCA endorsed.
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Feb 7, 2020 03:44
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>:3
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Feb 14, 2020 15:01
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enjoy ur next 2 months dude 
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Feb 19, 2020 22:19
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Can I reuse the gameboy rpg reviews I wrote in the early 2000s for content.
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Feb 20, 2020 02:37
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Lucavi posted:enjoy ur next 2 months dude
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Feb 20, 2020 06:02
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:If we got a steady Fashion SWAT esque or WTF D&D type review feature going again it would do a lot towards filling in the schedule. I loved those articles so much I copied the format shamelessly back in the late 00's, it'd be great to revisit. WTF D&D should probably be expanded to WTF RPG in name; the terrible EP campaign modules Devotees and Glory would be pretty good grist for such... though it might call for some pixelation in the latter.   I'd recommend hitting up Purple XVI or Mors Rattus for that.
StratGoatCom fucked around with this message at 17:20 on Feb 21, 2020 |
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Feb 21, 2020 17:16
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StratGoatCom posted:WTF D&D should probably be expanded to WTF RPG in name; the terrible EP campaign modules Devotees and Glory would be pretty good grist for such... though it might call for some pixelation in the latter. I really like "WTF RPG", especially if we can get Zach and Steve to sign off on it. Or maybe even join in...
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Feb 21, 2020 19:56
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 17:14 |
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If you can't, find a new name and hit up those users, they do good work over in the FATAL and Friends thread. I figure they may as well get a paycheck for it. open_sketchbook, the person doing the Flying Circus RPG posts here, IIRC, and it's pretty promising. Might be a real coup if you can get exclusive behind the scenes or even early examples of play for the column, if you want something positive as well as real horrors. A Let's Play Of The Month might be a good option as well. StratGoatCom fucked around with this message at 20:15 on Feb 21, 2020 |
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Feb 21, 2020 20:06
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