ITT you work at NPR

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ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

I'm kai ryssdal and this...*smarmy pause while i smugly huff an inhaler full of my own farts*...is marketplace

# ¿ May 6, 2019 05:49

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 21:39

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

a giant loving volcano appeared over middle america today, spewing forth liquid gold but wiping out millions of americans, including women and children. millions more are homeless or suffering.

traders on wall street responded favorably to the recent influx of 'liquid' capital. lets do the numbers. *jaunty jazzy tune of 'we're in the money' plays*

# ¿ May 6, 2019 05:53

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

doctor 7 posted:

*actually tries to inform US citizens without shock value or pandering*

sounds pretty liberal to me, comrade

# ¿ May 6, 2019 05:54

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Kak posted:

im gay

this but enough vocal fry to seduce a sentient fax machine

# ¿ May 6, 2019 05:58

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Cubone posted:

I probably get coffee or something. not everybody who works here is on the freaking radio ya know!!

im the guy who mops up all the loads on wait wait dont stop, an after dark version of a gameshow with a similar name

we air it as a threat during telethons

# ¿ May 6, 2019 06:00

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

its 3 am, welcome to colorado public radios "the jazz hour". i'm the only jazz fan in all of colorado, sleepy gary. tonight i plan on providing soothing commentary about jazz as well as using my narcoleptic voice to murder more long-haul truckers than sirens did sailors half a millenium ago.

join me next week where i go to the house at pueblo where miles davis once took a poo poo in while he was waiting for his tour bus to take him literally anywhere else but pueblo

# ¿ May 6, 2019 06:05

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Kak posted:

im ira glass

# ¿ May 6, 2019 06:06

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

sweet thursday posted:

"Next time we wi--" the radio fizzles out. You have dipped over the mountain and in the valley the reception is lost. No one is on the road with you. There are no clouds in the sky, no stars. A dull moon, agitated at your presence, hides itself behind a copse of trees. You have never felt more alone. The knot in your chest tightens-- you deserve this.

moth radio tryhards. classic.

# ¿ May 6, 2019 06:18

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

hi welcome to pop culture happy hour, me and some other depressing 40 somethings are going to spend a whole hour dissecting and criticizing works from industries we tried and failed at breaking into for the last 25 years.

# ¿ May 6, 2019 06:29

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Zeluth posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwEH9Ui4HV8

could you stop making GBS threads my thread up with drunk youtube links? maybe learn to hold your liquor? thanks.

# ¿ May 6, 2019 06:31

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

*car honking inserted into every on-location news interview as a 'gently caress you' to listeners who commute, which is all of them*

# ¿ May 6, 2019 06:34

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

doctor 7 posted:

*2-4 minute justification as to the historical and cultural importance to just play a song that was popular like 20 years ago*

"and that was Nirvana's Nevermind."

yeah that's great stuff, Bill. i just rolled it by our editor, Deaf Jimmy, and he said to go ahead and do a folk cover of nevermind for the next break. my nephew who saw someone playing banjo once is gonna take a crack at it.

# ¿ May 6, 2019 06:57

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

its been about a decade since the day the electric company shut off our delinquent power during a visit from ladysmith black mumbazzo. the tiny desk concert remains one the longest and most transparent coverups in public broadcasting history

# ¿ May 6, 2019 07:01

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Iron Crowned posted:

It's time for chud safari, today we're in McWhorter, West Virginia, as we talk to the residents and how when they voted for Donald Trump, they didn't expect them to gently caress them over, but will vote for him again in 2020!

"Yeah I got a confederate flag in ma truck. its about heritage, not hate."

"Thank you sir. Live from Plattsburgh, New York, I'm Eleanor Beardsley"

# ¿ May 6, 2019 14:59

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Coolness Averted posted:

*actually fired him for being a giant sexpest for 40 years. Pretends I only just now found out and was SHOCKED*

are we talking about the guy who did On Point or the guy who did PHC? or how bout the CBC guy who liked the choke women during and not during sex?

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD fucked around with this message at 20:47 on May 6, 2019

# ¿ May 6, 2019 20:45

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

FilthyImp posted:

This Week on Our American Experience, Luxon Berru-Ingot walks skid row in search of her father. During Act 2, Arhenn-Hummus Mignonette confronts the perils of capitalism in the lunch line at Middle School. And to close it off, Willam Wiliam-Williams gets a vasectomy.

this is loving beautiful

# ¿ May 6, 2019 23:28

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

FactsAreUseless posted:

I don't recall the On Point story. They were talking about Keillor from PHC. The CBC guy was Jian Ghomeshi from the show Q, who is long since fired.

Public radio, like most media organizations right now, has serious problems with sexual harassment, a stagnant administrative culture, and a lack of advancement. They're going to be in real trouble in 20 years when they realize that every editor, supervisor, and recognizable voice at NPR is now 80+ years old.

This saddens me.

Tom Ashbrook was the host of On Point, which was/is your run-of-the-mill current events call-in show on the east coast. Surprise surprise, he was also a sex pest and meToo'd in december of 2017.

The lack of new ideas is tragic. Somewhere out there Jesse Thorn is trying to convince an idaho npr affiliate to pickup his perfectly good interview show while Car Talk has been eating air in reruns for the last decade.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD fucked around with this message at 23:36 on May 6, 2019

# ¿ May 6, 2019 23:34

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

FilthyImp posted:

*sounds of railways*
The sounds you are hearing are sounds that I've always known. It's the sound of trains, crucial for travel and commerce, sounds of a healthy community.

*sounds of forks clanking, plates, etc*
But lately, the folks of Heels Flat, Missipetucky have been hearing other sounds. Sounds that maybe suggest that things aren't as rosy as their 15% unemployment statistics may suggest.

*Sounds of: people chatting, vague racial slurs and "those people" can be discerned*
*Speaking: Hosiah Reynolds>> "Been livin here all my life, since I done moved here when I was 46. Things I'm hearin' now. . . well it just gets you thinking bout those kinds of people, you know. Sometimes... sometimes you just don't know"

Reynolds, now 49, credits a host of social ills on a new phenomenon. Where there were the sounds of trains, now Heels Flat hears... something new.

*a distant noise comes under the train, gradually increasing in volume until the song is clear and loud*

A new train operated by a colorful, Spanish speaking, conductor is causing waves. Some locals call it the Beanertown Express... and it's tearing the once-homogenous township apart with allegations..... .. .... of racism.

# ¿ May 7, 2019 01:49

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

I was born before the depression and am still pissed i cant smoke on air

# ¿ May 7, 2019 06:01

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Admiralty Flag posted:

e: I just realized which thread I effort-posted this in. Imagine this is being spoken between pledge breaks in a whiny nasal voice that is absolutely accentless except when I overenunciate the hyphenated Spanish half of my last name.

I think the issue is around needing a positive term that can be used by outsiders, and by that I mean anyone outside a specific ethnic enclave — even though I am Mexican-American, that is informed by a specific socio-economic and cultural experience geographically centered in south Texas that doesn’t necessarily have much in common with (e.g.) Californians. I sorta dislike Latinx (mostly on grammatical grounds but I understand and accept the reason for superceding the gendering in declining it), but there isn’t a better term I can think of to use generally for what we would have called “Hispanic people” thirty years ago. (Also, 30 years ago, “Latino” meant of Mexican descent to me, but living in Texas with my background might have colored my understanding.)

Obviously, the specific is to be preferred and used when possible. But when collectively talking about people of Chilean ancestry in Chile, Spanish-speaking Mexican-Americans of the Rio Grande Valley, Puerto Ricans, or Dominican abuelas in NYC walk-ups, I’m not sure what better term to use.

You could totally do this as a TAL piece and stretch it out to 4 acts.

# ¿ May 10, 2019 05:48

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

My npr local affiliate is hosted by a lady who looks and sounds exactly like a cross between the woman who was the host of the carmen sandiego gameshow and a retired vice principal

she's great and i like hearing her talk dispassionately about school shootings in the denver area

# ¿ May 10, 2019 05:53

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

I didn't read the thread but I like Science Friday

same, except i didn't pass basic shop class and enjoy car talk

# ¿ May 16, 2019 01:55

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

raspurtin posted:

The Cheezy Poofs song fits over the ATC theme perfectly. Sing along the next time you're in the car!

I love cheezy poofs
you love cheezy poofs
if we didn't eat cheezy poofs
we'd be lame!

mother of god.

# ¿ May 20, 2019 06:02

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Admiral Bosch posted:

i was coming home from dropping the old lady at the denver airport and some local affiliate, i think it was KUNC, was either interviewing or rebroadcasting an interview with richard wolff. was good unlike actual npr

ive said this before itt, KUNC is cool and good

# ¿ Jun 1, 2019 04:29

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

im steveinski

# ¿ Jun 1, 2019 20:13

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

a cyberpunk goose posted:

I gave up on NPR once I had to spend 2-3 hours in my car a day driving around the Bay Area (still have a super gross dead KQED vinyl on my rear window lol) and they were reporting on things I knew about in such shallow meaningless detail over and over again that it pissed me off. This was like 2014 and I was still a mostly politics-less “leftish” person without a clue.

Once I have up on NPR I started listening to backlogs of This American Life, sometimes it could be real good... and then Ira did an episode on his hosed up, tragic dog.

He spends an hour describing how they have this small dog that developed severe anger issues, wouldn’t recognize them in the middle of the night when they had to take it out to pee, and would attack them, so they always had to have a muzzle on it, and describe how you could see the fear in its eyes when it was in one of its rages, as if it had no control. Then also described how it developed severe allergies to meats that it ate regularly, so they had to keep sourcing different kinds of meat for it to eat.

Around this point I realized these are basically lizard people and I have nothing in common with them and now I can’t hear Ira’s voice without imagining them choosing to keep this suffering creature alive in their domicile, smiling like androids as they tell themselves they are good people while they order another $400 in exotic meats for their dog that’ll last them a week. I can’t remember the story clearly any more and I’m sure the dog has been freed from its mortal coil at this point.

lol that was a classic episode, he was feeding his mentally ill dog crates of exotic kangaroo meat. he became a ur-example of the same bullshit he serves up on a weekly basis.

i wonder if the dog lived longer than his marriage

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 07:16

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Im Carl Kassell and

uhh

wait wait who am i

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 07:21

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Breakfast All Day posted:

It's act 2. I'm Zoe Chace. Once again, I find myself in the front office of senator Jeff Flake. In one week, the senate will be voting on ______. Flake is a republican, but he also says he's a moderate, and is undecided on _______. Over the next hour we'll be following Flake as he goes about the business of the senate and makes up his mind on _____.

I know we've done this story three times before, and, surprisingly, Flake has always voted with the republican line. I also know that Flake received $200k of funding from the _____ industry in his last campaign. But to me, in his office, he really seems divided, determined to do whats right for constituents, and struggling under the weight of his responsibility, like in this clip: "well, ayuck ayuck ayuck, gollie gee little lady. There's a lot of opinions out there, and I'm just a simple senator trying to be a good American. I really don't know how I'm going to vote. Do you think it could be with my party and with the interests that sponsor me and will make me wealthy when I cash out in a few months? Do you? You don't? You don't think so, you credulous useful idiot journalism prep school poo poo?" We'll come back to Flake's struggle in a moment, but first, I have to respond to a Nigerian prince who's in desperate need of my expertise and guidance.

masterful. it makes me think that there are truly both sides on each issue.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 19:45

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

i love my dead gay automobile hour

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 19:48

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

"Welcome back to on point, I'm Meghna Chakrabarti and we have the one guy in Nooseneck Arkansas on the lines that listens to NPR. Hey caller, what do you think about the current situation in Iowa regarding the recent ban on super abortions?"

"Thank ya kindly, Megan Chefboyardee. I just wanted to call in to say I'm tired of these horse jockeys in washington telling OUR PRESIDENT Donald Trump what to do! The gridlock in Washington has gone on for too long. And I'll tell you what, its all the fault of them stinking..."

"Thank you, caller. That certainly is a concern." *wipes spontaneous nosebleed hurriedly*

"I'll turn this callers concern over to my guest, noted SUNY Plattsburgh professor of neonatal terminations, Dr. Jason Weoddababbieatsaboi. Jason, how does President Trump fit into the super abortion debate, which is something I'm sure a lot of our callers are asking themselves."

"Thanks Meghna. And actually before I get started my last name is pronounced "Wendelton" and my background is in Woman's Studies. Trump doesn't quite fit into this debate at all. Also, I was told before the show we'd be talking about the impact the sports bra had on the development of third wave feminism. But to further elaborate on your caller's statement, we should just look0 into how all of this is tied up to the power dynamics of a society that forces a family to have dual incomes to survive. I think we can see that most of these social issues come down to rampant income inequa..."

"Interesting. Well, unfortunately doctor we've run out of time. Join us next time, when we'll speak with noted constitutional scholar and composer Moby about his new book, "Gee, the 90s sure were swell". I'm Meghna Chakrabarti and this has been On Point."

*theme song that sounds like a prog rock album in reverse plays out*

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD fucked around with this message at 03:33 on Jun 26, 2019

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 20:20

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

AstroWhale posted:

I stopped listening to This American Life when they started to have "good" republicans on, like Flake.

edit: I didnt listen to the latest Wait Wait, since there was an Obama alumni on. I wonder what that was like

"So, tell me. What was it like when a good man build those camps on the border. "
"It was great."
*audience cheers*

# ¿ Jun 30, 2019 17:45

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

SanTA MoniCKa, California. We're literally the only people in the world that pronounce it like this.

this...is NPR.

# ¿ Jul 4, 2019 02:44

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Skypie posted:

I do this but with Eleanor Beardsley and always yell "Mr Beardsley?!"

i just do my best shakey eleanor voice.

"I'm ELEaNor BeaaaRdsley. Wake uP MiStEr FreeMAN. Wake up, and SmEll the AshEs. ThiS...is En PeE Arrgh"

# ¿ Jul 5, 2019 06:37

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Kazak posted:

Kamala Harris walks the beautiful line between having safe palatable policies while having a black female identity that is more important than policies

same

# ¿ Jul 8, 2019 06:03

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

dpush posted:

Today on NPR a retarded sjw gets pissed off about the word crazy, and it turns out that if you are a criminal the police might be able to tell by looking at your drivers license.

Im Nadthaniel Normandy-StinkFlea for Narcissistic Panhandler Radio.

there's a line, and you crossed it mr limbaugh

# ¿ Jul 9, 2019 14:44

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

kickascii posted:

On a recent radiolab one of the hosts used an expression I've never heard before. They were talking about analyzing Albert Einstein's brain, and considered the possibility that maybe his brain had something unusual or unique about it and that could have affected his intelligence. Confronted with this possibility, the host said that it "made him feel itchy."

ive used this to describe a feeling of general anxiety that i get when confronted about unpleasant truths, like my mortality or the quality of my threads

# ¿ Jul 11, 2019 05:57

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

"Hi welcome back to All Things Considered, I'm Stevinski and this is the insufferable culture part of the program where we interview a real life mandolin musician from war-torn Scotland, Mr. Jeff Jeffersby. Good evening, Jeff. When you were writing your album, "I wrote this album because my mom died and I'm sad", what would you say was the overall emotion going through your head at the time?"

"Mostly sadness, what with all the mom death going on in my life."

"There you have it, folks. I'm Stevinski for NPR"

*Jeff's album plays, and for the purposes of this post I can't tell you what any of the music ever sounds like in these loving segments because I have already switched over to sports talk or another affiliate*

# ¿ Jul 22, 2019 06:15

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

steve innskeep. it's stebe inskepe. not "stvesinksky" like some russian ballerina composier

who

# ¿ Jul 22, 2019 06:29

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

I'm howie menshevik and here's my take on the subtle biblical allegories hidden in the secret life of pets 2

# ¿ Jul 28, 2019 10:09

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 21:39

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

well its friday, time for story corps. join us wont you as we talk to a 97 year old ww2 vet and his wife of 83 years. we'll dig deep into their love story of getting married after meeting once for blind date that ended in a firm handshake. you'll probably cry after listening. are you crying now? HEY LOOK! THIS IS NPR AND THIS rear end in a top hat IS CRYING IN HIS ELANTRA!!!

# ¿ Jul 30, 2019 06:09

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