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stuck a pencil straight up in a pew seat and my dad sat down on it hard and punched me in the stomach as a reflex. immediate karma but man i cringe and feel so so bad thinking about it and i will until i die. i was pretty young but still
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May 22, 2019 04:00
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when i was younger i respected the mods lol
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May 22, 2019 04:00
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Nooner posted:Alright FAU, we may be forum enemy's but the prob reason made me lol to the point that my wife asked me wtf I was laughing at prolly because his pants fell down when he decided to be a hard rear end
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May 22, 2019 04:02
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Hell Stink posted:My best friend bought a paintball gun right when they started to become a thing. We shot up a bunch of poo poo. Oh man, I feel like a lotta people have hosed up bird stories. I can remember my brother shooting a bird with a pellet gun and all of us feeling awful. Years later, there was that scene in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind where he kills the bird, and I instinctively started crying about it, not really understanding why, until I remembered that. On the plus side, you found one metal rear end pigeon, so, maybe still a win?
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May 22, 2019 04:07
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Chinatown posted:when i was younger i respected the mods lol What a naive idiot for having respect for anyone on SA.
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May 22, 2019 04:08
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Brolander posted:stuck a pencil straight up in a pew seat and my dad sat down on it hard and punched me in the stomach as a reflex. immediate karma but man i cringe and feel so so bad thinking about it and i will until i die. i was pretty young but still He didn't die of lead poisoning did he?
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May 22, 2019 04:09
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By the sound of it he just might have cured his prostate cancer!
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May 22, 2019 04:16
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Chinatown posted:when i was younger i respected the mods lol This is the worst one so far
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May 22, 2019 04:21
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Jfc hell yeah that's some heavy poo poo One time right after I got my license I was in the parking lot of a park with some friends and a squirrel ran in front of me just as I was pulling in to a spot and I tried to swerve to miss him and instead I hit and killed him and felt like a huge rear end like if I didnt try to avoid it I wouldnt have hit it and poor squirrel At least it was killed as soon as I hit it idk what I would have done if it was still alive ):
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May 22, 2019 04:26
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When I was a kid first given The Internet I of course ended up finding all the crap of "witchcraft is evil! Jesus is Lord!" stuff, and shortly after mom got me a copy of Harry Potter, this would've been like when it was brand new. So, not wanting to go to hell, I put that poo poo straight in the trash can and kinda hid it down so they wouldn't realize I just threw away like $15 immediately without even opening it. Ever since then I've never read or watched any of the movies because even though I'm over that crap that made me do it in the first place I also don't feel like I've earned the right to read or see it. Of course now as an adult I realize what I was actually doing was saving myself from becoming like all those super crazy people on Twitter who love Harry Potter so I don't feel as bad but still kinda bad.
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May 22, 2019 04:37
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I stole a lot of poo poo as a kid. Wait no I don't regret that as I stole from stores, not people. When I was like 11 or 12 I lobbed a big rock at a kid and broke his nose. He was being a bastard toward me and I couldn't take it anymore. And while he was on the ground, clutching his bloody face and bawling I freaked out and hopped on my bike and bailed the gently caress out of there, not realizing I just ran him over during my exit to add insult to injury. He never picked on me again after that...
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May 22, 2019 04:38
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one time a friend of mine and myself scooped up a dog poop and put it into somebody's mailbox. It was really really loving hilarious at the time but ten years later I learned that delivering mail as anybody except the postman is a federal crime. I wound up spiraling into a depressive funk and really couldn't reconcile with the act we committed many years before.
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May 22, 2019 04:58
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In middle school, one of my classes had the desks pushed together to make groups of 4. At my group was the class clown. One day, the three of us sitting there bet the class clown he wouldn't eat the lead for his mechanical pencil. We each bet a dollar Through the class, he would grab one stick from his refill case and chow down. By halfway through, he'd eaten basically the whole case. 15 minutes later, he started complaining that his stomach hurt and almost started crying. The teacher gave him a pass to go see the nurse At the end, the teacher asked us what happened and if we knew why he started getting sick. One of us said "oh he started eating his pencil lead" and she was like  and took off down to the nurse's office. We never paid him the $3 either
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May 22, 2019 05:27
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I was a bully. I used to verbally harass other kids enough to swing at me so I could say I fought them in self defense. I was really angry and just wanted to fight.
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May 22, 2019 05:31
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The first time I ever visited my (eventually) best friend's house in grade school, I accidentally peed on the toilet seat a little. I did not realize this until after I'd come back from the bathroom, and about 15 mins later his mom comes storming into the room where he and I were playing Nintendo and shouted GOD drat IT WHO PISSED ON THE TOILET SEAT I didn't admit to anything and we went on to be good friends for a long time and every day my conscience ate away at me and still does
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May 22, 2019 06:04
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Pushed this kid in a deep trough of sewer water when I was in elementary school (major storm and the sewers backed up). Then I fast talked my way out of it so good that he got in trouble for it, and he also agreed he was at fault. Used to scare the smaller kids in gym class when we were playing some game against each other. Never hit them or anything, but if we're were playing touch football or something, if some little runt got his hands on the ball, just run at them screaming and frothing at the mouth so they basically just hand you the ball as you zip past. Bloody Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 06:28 on May 22, 2019 |
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May 22, 2019 06:25
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Same friend, same house. Maybe 10 years old? We were digging holes in his back yard, finding lots of rocks and stuff. I got it into my head to convince him that the rocks were dinosaur fossils, and carefully assembled them into shapes that seemed plausible. When his mom came out to do some gardening, she was very displeased to discover all the holes we had dug. Some were 2+ feet deep. When she gave my friend an angry lecture about it, he started crying and saying that we had found dinosaur bones and how big a deal that was, occasionally looking over at me as if for confirmation. I said nothing and just looked at him like he was crazy. That was kind of mean
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May 22, 2019 06:26
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When I was like five my goldfish died and my mom helped me bury it in the front yard by the flowers. I've loved animals basically since as long as I can remember so this was an important and solemn event to me. I had bawled my eyes out when I realized the fish had died in the first place. So when the neighbor girl who saw us burying it later came over and tried to dig it up, I asked her to stop, except she didn't, saying she kept wanting to look at it. I kept asking her to stop and she refused to heed my request so I basically just grabbed her head (she was a year older than me) and smashed it into the dirt where the fish was buried, I held her head in the dirt for like three seconds while she tried to get up and then I let her go and she ran away crying and I yelled at her to leave the fish alone. She was an rear end in a top hat and honestly deserved it for trying to dig up my dead loving pet but I still feel bad. Then again someone who tries to dig up someone else's dead pet is much worse imo than what I did so my guilt is misplaced.
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May 22, 2019 07:12
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nailed my sister in the eye with an open lemon
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May 22, 2019 07:45
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I don't remember doing anything that terrible to other kids but I'm sure there's a kid out there who remembers me as some kind of rear end in a top hat who did some hosed up thing to him/her. When I was in high school I got a car in my junior year (1986 Chevrolet Cavalier). It became the war wagon for me and my friends and we used to drive around neighborhoods throwing eggs and other stuff at people's houses and cars. As an adult I know that this is so stupid and hosed up but back then we didn't care at all and probably did this once a month for a year or so. One night we bought a bunch of 59 cent Pintos and Cheese from Taco Bell (this was late 80's) and drove around hurling them at cars. Since I was driving I didn't get to see much of the aftermath but I did enjoy the gleeful cackles of the crew as the little paper pots of beans exploded against parked cars.
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May 22, 2019 09:11
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Younger me (about 8 hours ago) ate an 8 sack of white castle sliders on first break at work. Then toward the end of shift I cut a fart that smelled so bad I started gagging and almost dropped a heavy part I was trying to load into a machine. My guts are in a lot of pain right now. What have I done and why did I do it?
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May 22, 2019 09:26
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bullied the absolute poo poo out of a bunch of weirdos at school.
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May 22, 2019 09:35
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Elbow dropped my friend then slapped on the crippler crossface 'til he tapped like a bitch. I thought I was destined for the WWE but it turned out I was just fat and broke his rib when I fell on him.
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May 22, 2019 10:37
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Pushed a kid off the top of the slide because he was taking too long and he broke his arm
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May 22, 2019 10:59
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Punted a kid I quasi bullied in the shins completely unprovoked. Guess we were 13-14. Promptly forgot about it after laughing while he hopped around. Ten years later we met by chance, and he showed me a permanent dent I left below his knee. I felt loving mortified lmao
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May 22, 2019 10:59
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Killed a cat with a wrist rocket when I was like 10. I wish I could say it was accidental, but... I meant to hit the cat. I just didn't know I'd kill it. I still feel bad about it sometimes. That was someones lil kitty. 
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May 22, 2019 11:17
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pulled a chair out from under my friend when he was about to sit. he didn't get seriously hurt but i'll never forget how betrayed the kid looked. that poo poo wasn't funny at all and i still feel horrible about it 
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May 22, 2019 11:21
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Nice honeypot op
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May 22, 2019 12:16
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Anyway me and my friend graffitied the walls in his parent's basement. We would go down there to play video games, drink mountain dew, fart, piss in the laundry sink and draw on the walls with marker instead of chalk.
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May 22, 2019 12:22
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Wore an Army of Darkness shirt one time and a super religious kid complained about it and I had to turn the shirt inside out. At the end of the day I went up to that kid and said I was gonna summon demons to attack his house. We were 12 years old so this poor kid probably just had really strict and lovely parents and I just enforced all his awful ideas.
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May 22, 2019 12:30
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For some reason I decided to put some chewing gum into a boy in our groups hair. I cant remember why, there may have been some egging-on from.the other guys but I am pretty sure I was the ring leader in this event. I was probably 13-14 years old. I did it then pointed it out to the kid that someone had put chewing gum in his hair and said we need to cut it out which he allowed. The next day his parents complained to the school and it was under investigation. We got called to speak to the head of year and I was making GBS threads myself begging the other guys to say they didn't know how it got there. Which I think they did. It escalated and the police got involved so I had to go to the police station to give a statement. I guess I was pretty lucky overall because generally throughout school I was pretty nerdy and a good kid overall and my old man worked for the police too. Nothing came of it and I never bullied/did anything similar for the rest of the time in school. I was never a bully anyway and was mostly the bullied and this was the one and only time I can remember deliberately being a little bastard to anyone else. I felt so horrible for a while after.
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May 22, 2019 12:51
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Squirrels used to eat the seed out of our bird feeders, so my dad bought my brother and I BB-guns and told us to shoot them. To this day I am haunted by nightmares of dead and dying squirrels.
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May 22, 2019 12:56
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Fleetwood Crack posted:Squirrels used to eat the seed out of our bird feeders, so my dad bought my brother and I BB-guns and told us to shoot them. To this day I am haunted by nightmares of dead and dying squirrels. One day in my backyard a bird was swooping on my dog so I got my little one-pump bb gun. The bird was all the way across our yard at what must have been the very max effective range of the gun, I aimed and shot. The bb hit the little bird square in the chest, it fell in the yard. I panicked and ran over and picked it up, it died in my hands spitting up little drops of blood from it's dying breaths. I don't know if I've ever felt like more of a piece of poo poo until I went over and discovered that the reason it was swooping my dog was that one of it's chicks had fallen in the yard.
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May 22, 2019 13:48
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JFC what is it with goons and animal abuse!!?
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May 22, 2019 14:32
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Toward the end of high school we had this fun night or whatever where the class went to a fun place or whatever that had mini golf, and it was right next to a busy freeway. One of the holes was on top of a pretty steep hill aimed directly at the fence overlooking the freeway. You also got virtually unlimited golf balls. My friends and I spent a good while launching golf balls into traffic. There really is no excuse for that.
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May 22, 2019 15:40
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Colonel Cancer posted:JFC what is it with goons and animal abuse!!? Kids do some pretty messed up things to animals. Most people will do something like that once and feel terrible about it forever, ensuring they never do something like that again. But every once in awhile you end up with some little Dexter motherfucker who really enjoys it and is probably going to grow up and kill people. It's a pretty normal, if hosed up, part of development..... until it's not.
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May 22, 2019 16:23
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Yeah, the BB gun thing. That really sucks. In high school, my best friend and I bought a BB gun and he was super into the idea of shooting birds with it. I didn't like the idea, but I played along and kind of half-assedly shot at them with no desire to actually hit them. He was a good shot and nailed one, and seemed overjoyed about it. In retrospect, he was probably just playing along too 'cause he thought I was into it, and either of us could have prevented it by just being honest with each other.
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May 22, 2019 16:31
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LargeHadron posted:Yeah, the BB gun thing. That really sucks. In high school, my best friend and I bought a BB gun and he was super into the idea of shooting birds with it. I didn't like the idea, but I played along and kind of half-assedly shot at them with no desire to actually hit them. He was a good shot and nailed one, and seemed overjoyed about it. In retrospect, he was probably just playing along too 'cause he thought I was into it, and either of us could have prevented it by just being honest with each other. I don't have kids, and it's hard to imagine I've become this person, but yeah there's no way one of my kids would get a BB gun at this point. Mind you, daily shootings at public schools wasn't a thing back then, but it's still kinda messed up when you really think about how much that probably reinforced the idea of guns being a "toy" and not something horrifically dangerous and destructive. Edit: Not trying to say anything about gun ownership as an adult. If you own them and are responsible, good for you. Only reason I don't is that I deal with sad brains.
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May 22, 2019 16:38
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There was a kid in primary school that used to get bullied because her parents were poor. One morning, my arm was itchy and I saw a flea chewing on me. This wasn't a surprise, we had a cat with liver complaints so my mum was limited on what she could use to get rid of them, it was a matter of just pull it off and deal with it. Anyway, at school we sat at tables, maybe 5 or 6 kids. I decided to flick this flea, still alive, in the general direction of poor girl. It landed on the desk, some bright colour, and I shouted look (kids name) has fleas! She got bullied with a vengeance after that, in today's world no doubt the kid would have killed themselves but they were generally tougher in my day. Still, a few years ago when I still used Facebook she was suggested to me as a friend, of course I didn't say hi because poor kid lol but it took some weight off knowing that she was still alive and looked to have an ok life. At least she had a kid I think so must have got laid at some point? Either way, I suck.
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May 22, 2019 16:39
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Chinatown posted:shot at cars with pellet guns. was probably a bad choice but we did hit our targets with consistency so... I've kinda done this as an adult. Local Weather posted:
This but with pretty much anything we could find, food items, soda cans, etc. One day me and my buddies were cruising past a supermarket where another of our buddies worked, and we saw him in the parking lot collecting carts, so I pulled in and just drove a bunch of circles around him while pelting him with an entire box of dunkin donuts munchkins. Then I burned out and got the hell out of there.
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May 22, 2019 16:48
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