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Okay, so I went for a walk today even though just sitting inside with my fans and A/C on full blast still leaves me sweating through my mattress, but, okay, I went out and went for a walk. I was passing a little league baseball field and saw a plastic tin full of cupcakes that were just apparently dropped on the ground and left there, and immediately I got possessed by this garbage instinct to inspect the remains to see if there were any good ones left. I resisted for a few steps but then just went back and did exactly that. There's lots of cars passing by this place, so I took the flimsy tin full of smeared icing and up-turned cupcakes and hid behind a tree, kneeled on the ground, and managed to shovel four of those ruined bastards down my mouth before I felt the shame and threw the rest away. It occurs to me that I did my best to not eat ones that had ants crawling on them, but that I really can not say for certain that at least one of those four "good" cupcakes that I did guzzle down had an ant or ants inside them.
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Jul 27, 2019 21:14
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 02:10 |
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How high and/or poisoned are you right now?
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Jul 27, 2019 21:15
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Do you feel that sudden tightness in your throat? Good. That means it's working...
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Jul 27, 2019 21:16
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Stay safe,trash goblin
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Jul 27, 2019 21:16
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Colonel Cancer posted:How high and/or poisoned are you right now? I smoked this morning when I walked my dogs, but am completely sober and un-poisoned as of eating the ground food
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Jul 27, 2019 21:18
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Just a normal day for you OP, is it?
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Jul 27, 2019 21:18
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a peck of pickled peckers posted:Just a normal day for you OP, is it? I don’t normally find free unattended food so it’s actually more like a slow week highlight
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Jul 27, 2019 21:27
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Great another instance of good things happening to people not me. Just great. Couldn't even stop to savor your blessing.
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Jul 27, 2019 21:34
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No ants? Keep your protein consumption up OP
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Jul 27, 2019 21:46
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i found a red bic lighter and 55 cents on the ground the other day
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Jul 27, 2019 21:47
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crouched in the bushes, icing coating my lips, eyes wide and darting around in search of predators or teenagers recording snapchat videos
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Jul 27, 2019 21:57
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OP is a deer.
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Jul 27, 2019 22:08
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ON THE GROUND! ARE YOU AN ADULT NOW??
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Jul 27, 2019 22:22
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Jack-Off Lantern posted:Stay safe,trash goblin
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Jul 27, 2019 22:26
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If you're not high you might want to see a therapist about your poor impulses control.
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Jul 27, 2019 23:07
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In that stupid movie, "This is 40" Paul Rudd's character keeps eating cupcakes and his wife keeps telling at him to stop eating cupcakes. How the gently caress do you have cupcakes hidden around the house to constantly snack on? Maybe cookies or chips but not cupcakes. And why did she give a gently caress anyway? Paul Rudd is thin and in great shape. So the gently caress what if he wants a cupcake.
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Jul 27, 2019 23:25
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TontoCorazon posted:If you're not high you might want to see a therapist about your poor impulses control. My therapist mistress Christina said I don’t need help, so I’m inclined to trust her expertise
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Jul 27, 2019 23:26
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More like CupK. Nowaste
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Jul 27, 2019 23:28
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EorayMel posted:OP is a deer. Me and the missus follow a deer rescue account on Instagram and one of my favourite things about the sweet little creatures is how badly they would prefer death. I get that they're wild prey creatures so they should distrust humans but they're like "nooo please don't provide me with life giving care and milk, what a horrible state of affairs this is, let God take me back  "
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Jul 27, 2019 23:29
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Jul 27, 2019 23:29
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you're just preparing for the new world where we all have to eat trash
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Jul 27, 2019 23:33
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Someone photoshop bilbo seeing dirty cupcakes and saying “why not? Why shouldn’t I keep it?” I’d do it but I’m on my phone
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Jul 27, 2019 23:36
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I just ate some rocks on the ground
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Jul 27, 2019 23:55
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May not have been a hot dog but your chances of finding a guy seem pretty drat good.
Brute Hole Force fucked around with this message at 01:11 on Jul 28, 2019 |
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Jul 28, 2019 00:49
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Hey... why didn't u... share...?
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Jul 28, 2019 00:52
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I am ready to accept you taking them home and eating them one at a time. I am ready to accept you shoveling one cupcake into your mouth right then and there. But I cannot accept you shoveling four in your mouth right then and there. You are trash, goblin. Jack-Off Lantern posted:Stay safe,trash goblin
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Jul 28, 2019 00:55
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Last week I found an unopened can of beer lying in the grass, an IPA called The Shape of Hops to Come. Hell yeah I drank that poo poo. I mean, not right away, but later that night. The Shape of Punk to Come is one of my favorite albums anyway
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Jul 28, 2019 00:55
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I would have ignored those #blessed cupcakes like someone who had gone mad
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Jul 28, 2019 01:03
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Ssssssssssshhhaaammme!!! OOOOPPPPPP!!!
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Jul 28, 2019 01:03
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OP is a dirt person everyone point and laugh
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Jul 28, 2019 02:10
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a peck of pickled peckers posted:OP is a dirt person everyone point and laugh And don’t stop till I say
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Jul 28, 2019 02:17
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a peck of pickled peckers posted:OP is a dirt person everyone point and laugh Racism?
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Jul 28, 2019 02:31
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the op is george costanza
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Jul 28, 2019 02:35
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The only way to eat found cupcakes is to take one in each hand and hold them up to your chest like they're cupcake boobies. Then proceed to slowly lick the icing off the top of each one while staring directly into the eyes of anyone who passes by.
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Jul 28, 2019 02:40
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Kak posted:the op is george costanza I legit don’t think the character should have been embarrassed of eating above-the-rim, otherwise perfectly good trash food I also ate pizza I found on the ground in Manhattan once, like 4 years ago
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Jul 28, 2019 03:16
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The op is an intelligent, resourcefull individual whom I would be proud to count among my friends. Good job dude!
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Jul 28, 2019 03:52
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Disgusting
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Jul 28, 2019 04:05
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OP if you live in Omaha I left those cupcakes there and every single one of them had my jizz on it.
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Jul 28, 2019 04:31
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bird with big dick posted:OP if you live in Omaha I left those cupcakes there and every single one of them had my jizz on it. That's actually kind of genius... almost like rear end pennies.
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Jul 28, 2019 04:55
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 02:10 |
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Sociology 101 classes should just start with the op written on the board
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Jul 28, 2019 05:05
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