Idiots Thread - From the Balls of Montezuma - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Idiots Thread - From the Balls of Montezuma

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EBB: Feb 15, 2005

The only thing I got out of BOLC II was six solid weeks of drinking and permanent damage to my left ear.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2019 02:31

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 15:01

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

https://www.idontevenownatelevision.com/2016/05/30/056-armor/

quote:

Wow, what is there to say about John Steakley�s Armor? Strap on your favorite defense mechanisms and join J. and Collision as they try to answer this difficult question about a novel that dares to answer the less difficult question �what if Starship Troopers were incredibly stupid and repetitive?�. Yes, we take on Armor, the book that should have been called A Constant Reminder of Better Books: The Book. As a read, Armor is a terrible slog that looks you square in the eye and shows you atrocities while growling �war�is heck� before bafflingly pivoting to whimsical wisecracking and brief interludes of rough sex. This read was not the smoothest ride, is what we�re saying.

I read Armor years ago over a couple drills and it was bad.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2019 15:14

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

I'm dying laughing because right now a bunch of people with uniforms are seeing that and turning beet red.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2019 17:29

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

the world is entirely too online

# ¿ Aug 18, 2019 02:06

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

i too have ancestors who did things and stuff during eras

# ¿ Aug 21, 2019 05:55

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Wild T posted:

My maternal grandfather did ten years after being drafted into WWII. His shadowbox had him as a Corporal. Evidently he liked to drink and party a lot so he'd make Sergeant, get busted to PFC, make it back to Corporal, bust down to Private, etc. He continually volunteered for any training that got him sent back to England, where he'd generally just get drunk and bang British girls. One time him and his buddy were having so much fun they went AWOL for a couple weeks, and only came back when they heard their unit was being shipped back.

Same dude hired a black housekeeper in the fifties to help watch the kids and was evidently very kind to her despite the racial tensions in Baltimore at the time. Then my grandmother came home early one day to my grandfather balls deep in the housekeeper on the living room couch. She flipped her poo poo until he screamed back at her that my youngest Aunt was his buddy's kid, which shut her up fast. Nana never did stop being a racist old bag until she died.

Enlisted. Enlisted never change.

gently caress that's enlisted.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2019 21:35

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

My great grandfather was at Gallipoli and was wounded in the head, apparently not during combat.
I can only assume it was trust game or him showing off, so I'm proud to continue the family tradition of idiocy

sometimes the sheep kick

# ¿ Aug 22, 2019 06:03

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

I'm here to conduct legitimate soldiering duties and nothing else, I gots this pass see, here's a dollar kid go have a coke.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2019 02:42

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

When he says helicopter rides he means the Scarface variety, right?

# ¿ Aug 23, 2019 22:13

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Oh. Lovely.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2019 23:49

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Liquid Communism posted:

I'm just imagining the fun when someone gets reassigned back to the states and can't take their kid because they don't have citizenship. Imagine the paperwork.

Pre-deployment, not taking care of your family readiness plan is something the chain of command will murder you for. Coming home? Together, alone, in a plane, or in a box, we got the work out of you so gently caress your benefits.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2019 15:52

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

I think it's kinda like when we dropped Fat Man in that it's a wee bit hard to put the genie back in the bottle.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2019 02:47

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Friends. Soldiers. Officers. Please. This is DoD classification we're talking about. You're expecting it to make sense? You're expecting its enforcement to make sense?

I have quite literally sat in a classified briefing where they took great care to confiscate everybody's cell phone, but still had to confiscate handwritten notes at the end because we are required to have paper and pencil as part of the uniform. This was years before I ever saw The Wire or the criminal conspiracy scene. I even had a moment where I turned to one of my brother LTs who pulled out his notepad to ask him why he was taking notes when they just yanked our phones.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2019 04:26

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Lost some brain cells reading that

# ¿ Sep 5, 2019 21:47

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

*in line at the post office* oh dang i forgot my social again what ever am i to do

# ¿ Sep 9, 2019 16:15

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

# ¿ Sep 9, 2019 16:16

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

My old CO used to say that tanks kill, and they don't care who they kill. Same goes for most dangerous equipment.

# ¿ Sep 10, 2019 16:45

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Has he made a shoe knife yet?

# ¿ Sep 12, 2019 15:10

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Internet Wizard posted:

Remember how Melania�s signature issue as First Lady was supposed to be countering cyberbullying

Not quite, her signature issue was to not cyberbully Melania Trump.

# ¿ Sep 25, 2019 20:37

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Viva Miriya posted:

Ok I will.

nice post

for a clown to make

at the circus

# ¿ Sep 26, 2019 06:46

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

PurpleXVI posted:

God, Wohl's latest enterprise is one gently caress of an own goal. It seems to have convinced no one, has shown what a hilarious loser he is once again and only seems to have increased support for Warren.

If she wins he'll brain worm spin it into him being some deep state q fourth dimensional chess move that helped warren. Wohl be brokebrain.

# ¿ Oct 5, 2019 15:55

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

ur fuckin dead kiddo

# ¿ Oct 12, 2019 01:31

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Blanket ban would cause an outrage, lot of military members with family down there they visit.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2019 06:11

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Internet Wizard posted:

Wyoming disenfranchises California in the same way LA, SF, and SD disenfranchise the entire rest of the state

The rest of the state has lovely politics hth

# ¿ Oct 30, 2019 14:43

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

_{maybe a form of government created to benefit white male landowners isn't super practical 200 years on}

# ¿ Oct 31, 2019 05:43

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

MA-Horus posted:

So on a scale of "a good talking to" to "supremely turbo-hosed", how turbo-hosed is this guy?

He sold his primary body armor. That's bad.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2019 13:45

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Turn down deployments

heh

# ¿ Nov 4, 2019 20:38

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

rough chuckles

# ¿ Nov 8, 2019 00:29

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

no but im loving dead laughing

# ¿ Nov 8, 2019 01:12

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

# ¿ Nov 8, 2019 13:17

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Oh lord I forgot about swiss seats. It's like having your nuts in a vice.

# ¿ Nov 12, 2019 07:08

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Trotter has been in long enough that she probably got picked up by China in the OPM sweep like the rest of us. She should know better.

# ¿ Nov 12, 2019 15:51

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

muh stolen valor

# ¿ Nov 13, 2019 00:40

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Vengarr posted:

There are definitely jobs that really should preclude you from putting naked pictures on the internet.

Like congressman, or First Lady

I see this boiling down to excluding people from office based on how they choose to express their free speech. Without even getting into issues of feminism it's no bueno.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2019 20:37