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quote:Ask the Lion King- What was it like growing up with your brother? I hear his given name is ...less than flattering.  He was very naughty, but so do I. We were great headache for our parent to the point they let us go free-range to grow through nature’s guidence. I found joy from the warmness and love of the sun of the day while my brother found his calmness in the cool moon of the night. quote:Could he have parent issues now surfacing due to you becoming one? *Gasp* I see! You meant that he feel lonely and believe he was left out when I give my love to my wife and seem to have forsaken him! It all makes sense now! Desperately, he seeks the warm of love through whatever friends he can get! How blind I am to such simple fact! You are suggesting I find him a new wife? So that someone will provide love to him for all eternity?
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Sep 20, 2019 12:25
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 04:53 |
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A fine suggestion, perhaps in addition to a job to occupy his thoughts? As royalty he is of sufficient status to have a position at the Taxation Oversight Enumeration Symposium! 
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Sep 20, 2019 13:09
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C Write in for Lion King: find brother a wife so he won’t be so lonely and will want to spend more time hanging out with fellow lions and not ...other companions
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Sep 20, 2019 23:06
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Damnit you people, do you hate cats and pigs and... rodent things being friends? Coz this is what you're doing, killing friendships before they begin.
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Sep 21, 2019 03:36
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 “Mr. Owl! Mr. Owl! What a joyous time we live in!”  Happy time? Yes! Yes! So many new flowers bloomed in recent years and we harvested so many, many never before tasted flavor of honey! Ohh, are you bringing us some? Yes! Of course! That’s the reason I am here! To ask you which of these flavor is better! We are taste tester now? Why not? The other bees will have them believe soon! Please tell us which you like best when you are done! I am sure many other forest animals would try your recommendation too! Oh! Speaking of them! Honey is here! Try! Try! I like…A) This sweet flavor honey. B) This meaty flavor honey. C) This grassy flavor honey. D) Write-in ------------  The civil battle at Wooly Hill remain ongoing with the enemy defenders at an advantage from their high ground.  The renegade army consist of Herbivore xenoist rebel who sees all carnivore as monsters and savages that is beneath their moral high ground. They have made their segregating dissent for such horrific habit for a long time before the war, but the wolf king remind adamant in his preaches for unity and acceptance of both grass and meat eater. After all, Mr. Owl also eat meat.  Monsters! All they want is our tax! What do we get from associating with them!? 401K? Their tax is way higher than other kingdom too! Don’t worry babe! No one is getting up this hill without going with this humousgous horns of mine! Ohh my love! We herbivore must stick together and not become ‘army ration’ for the tyrannical wolf king! The Flesher Regiment of the Wolf King Loyalist surrounded the hill to lay siege on the defender. Hoping the grass ration on the hill will reach Accelerated Depreciation and force the enemy to surrender through peaceful Acquisition Indebtedness.  Grr, we should just charge up now in Active Participation to reduce Passive Losses from this siege that could last for weeks! And hurt their children? Think about them qualifying for Additional Child Tax Credit! The Wolf King would not be pleased with a new Adjusted Basis! In fact, he told us to do this with minimal losses for BOTH sides! Think about the Adjusted Gross Income of our kingdom! Bah! I rather end this quickly and just adopt their children to claim Adoption Credit! I will even help them with Taxpayer Advocate to ease the transition! That’s not how it work, you fool! You think some ex-spouse can simply take Alimony and will happily forget about your stupid violent onslaught? Other Forest Lords are eyeing our king’s territory and scheming things like making him pay Alternative Minimum Tax! The auditing hell will be worst the longer this war goes on! Think of the time it will take! The king might have to peddle some of his territory either for compensation from my plan or deal with the long Amended Return from this long siege! Alright, enough about politics and economics! Mr. Owl have clearly sided with our lord's opinion! How’s our supply line? More wolves are assigned as suppliers to ensure this siege can outstay the enemy’s ration. If only meat ration grows like grass and be abundance everywhere… It will be tougher for us who have to take extra procedures to secure our ration, but at least I heard good words about our supply line being solid. No one tried to disrupt our supply lines? There are some, but I heard there is a new wolf that is very good at his job.--------- Bleh! Why is this honey so bitter! New flower! New taste! We grab what we can! Never before tasted! What have I done? This one taste… salty? Where did you find all these odd flowers? Dunno! They just grown out of nowhere in recent years! We only try to collects it because of Mr. Alligator’s recent herbal rampage gotten rid of our usual flowers! We won't have enough for tax otherwise! Please say you like it! Our queen wants to be sure! To be sure that it taste good for owl? No! To be sure that it’s safe! … … You said taste test? Yes? Not poison test? We are fine when we ate it and then vomit it out! Some are watery too! Our brethren already filtered the really bad one with their life! Done what have I? I feel like vomiting too.E) BAN ALL NEW FLAVOR F) Approve all flavor and let someone else figure it out G) Test them ourselves and release the mammal-safe flavor H) Write-in -----   What a fine scenery beneath us, brother. The majestic sight of it would boils ones courage to rise up and joins in the glorious… ‘Trampling’. No truer words can describe it better, my brother. *Standing closer to the edge to get a better view* It would lifts anyone out of their ‘depression’. Oh? *Interested* Are you unwell, my dear brother? Perhaps you should take a ‘long rest’. Me? Haha, no. I do wonder if you need some ‘spiritual relief’. Ha… Ha. I don’t know what you mean by that. *Inch closer* *Solemnly* I know everything, my dear brother. *Hesistate* Wh-what do you mean? You need the warm love of a new wife! A-a new wife? But I already have several… lovers. *Place paws on brother’s shoulders* Brother, you have a big heart, and clearly they are not harlots enough to warm it whole! Well, I can’t refute that they can’t have enou- And you need a job! Job? Me? Yes! Something to keep you occupied from your trouble mind while you find your goal in life and secure your ambition! Oh, I already know what ‘job’ I want. *Smiling while placing paws on bother’s shoulders.* You do? Is it the Taxation Oversight Eumeration Symposium? No- what? It’s what Mr. Owl suggested. I am not exactly clear what it is, but you would have complete control of the kingdom’s tax system minus the troublesome politics that I will deal with. Every tax...? Yes. Mr. Owl thinks you will find wisdom through the tedious job of managing the territory’s economics power and realizes there is more to life than wealth. In the meantime, I will have more time to raise my kid. I can have… I mean, I will have control of the whole kingdom’s wealth? Yes. I know it is a tough undertaking that will surely be a mountainous task, but I will support you fully for anything you need! There is quite tempting. *Pats brother’s shoulder* Very tempting. Gahhh!  Oops. That strong wind must have pushed us off balance. Brother, help! Pull me up! Love Live… “The king.” Thank you, brother! That was close! You are welcome. Now let’s go back and enact on Mr. Owl’s recommendation.Result The Lion King’s young brother become the economic shadow monarch of the empire with all the power behind the curtain while the king essentially reduced to a political messenger/puppet for his sly brother. Both are quite pleased with Mr. Owl’s arrangement, for now. The young brother also officially married with another danger-cliff celebration party like the prince. Many hyenas from Wolf King territory ‘seeks asylum’ from the war and migrate to the Lion King’s Land to enjoy their new tax haven under the new pro-predator tax law. Status Forest Health: 81 (+5 war. -1 ???, +10 Much Higher Tax in Lion Territory) Ecosystem: 45 (-5 war, -10 Lion Tax) Relationship Apex Predator: 40 (+20) Predator: 10 (+10) Prey: -10 (-20) Nyaa fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Sep 29, 2019 |
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Sep 28, 2019 23:59
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D) The meaty flavor honey is good. But, each flavor appeals to a different audience; Meaty to predators, grassy to prey, and sweet a bit of each. With that in mind, give meaty first to predator, grassy first to prey, and sweet for those who would accept neither or when low on the other two. H) Your brethren did more than find out bad honey, they found dangerous plants people should not eat! It is good you came to us before the angry birds used them in cleaning, and so we propose a new role in the forest: Honey Taster, to see what honey (and plants) are safe for mammals; with the Apex Predators permission they will even be exempt from tax in exchange for risking their lives in service to the forest. (It will be a very important job, many lives will hang on their tastebuds, especially their own should they approve bad honey!)
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Sep 29, 2019 10:37
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Arcanuse posted:D) The meaty flavor honey is good. But, each flavor appeals to a different audience; Meaty to predators, grassy to prey, and sweet a bit of each. With that in mind, give meaty first to predator, grassy first to prey, and sweet for those who would accept neither or when low on the other two. I like this +1
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Sep 29, 2019 17:00
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Result “I am back!” Mr. Croc is back in a good mood and brought new revelations from the herbal rampage.  We found some strange new plants that is the cause of the water problem! You do? Yes! Whatever mixed into the water is causing irritation to most animal who drinks it! Like the giraffe? It will take a long time to heal that throat. That neck is unnecessary long. His kind embraces the way of the tree, and grew more meat for us all. What did the turtle doc said about this? Last I heard, he is still busy checking the throat. … It is a very long trip. That’s why I said to cut it. Wise word indeed. I would gladly assist with that procedure, but they seems above such necessity. What do you need us for your finding? To get more permissional-acceptant in your wisdom to wipe out these plant? I LOVES destroying garden. That rampage was fun! You didn’t falsify the report, right? Please, I am a leader of the forest. I wouldn’t lie for something so simple. Will lie for complex reason? That’s part of politic, Mr. Owl. Don’t worry, I don’t plan to make enemy with any of you. We recently gave our opinion to the bee queen in regards to these new plants. Yes, I heard. Everyone loves your categorization of these safely tested new varieties of flavors to various animal groups. I knew the gluttonous of the current Mr. Owl would be useful for something! Thanks. The wisdom is so vast that I am still digesting from it.Status: Forest Health: 80 (-1 ???) Ecosystem: 50 (+5 Honey Tax Relief) Relationship: Apex Predator: 45 (+5) Predator: 15 (+5) Prey: -5 (+5) Too bad you went on a diet and lost so much delicious weight. It’s good to be undelicously healthy. I am sure a layer of honey will make everything taste good. I disagree. Actually, jokes aside from your weight lost, you somehow smelled... tastier? Which is strange because it's usually the other way around. That sounded like a serious disease, you might want to have a check up with the doc. Oh no! It must be those herbs! Maybe taste test other mammal than bird? Do you have any more business for coming here personally? Of course. As I reported, It’s good that we have a taster for the flower part of these new plants, but not all plants have flowers. You want a taster for other parts? Yes. The rampage-tasting of random herbs before helped a lot in our investigation, and comparing results with the bees helps narrowing down the main suspect, but we need more particular part taster like the root, stem, and bad smelling bitter one that most avoided by falsifying their report. You don't have a rigid inspection system? It’s hard to tell since many us was… spiritually frolicking, at random interruptive interval of our investigation. So, I have to redo all the smelly and bitter one, and parts like root that you normally won’t eat. You want us to find candidate for those parts? Candidacy is not the main problem, the Angry Bird Regiment would gladly swallow up anything if they are in the right mood for it, but The Eagle formed a Union to protect their interest. At least the bees doesn't have one. What's the main hurdle? Willingness to stomach awful food that might tax you brought no further volunteers even with offers of tax incentive. Not worth the risk of full tax. Exactly. We need to find a better way to make them do it. Write-in Nyaa fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Oct 3, 2019 |
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Oct 3, 2019 23:45
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Kidnap a non forest animal from a nearby ecosystem and force them to eat the plant. If they're not one of us they don't matter. I suggest one of the upright apes with interchangeable skins and loud sticks.
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Oct 4, 2019 21:06
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Outrail posted:Kidnap a non forest animal from a nearby ecosystem and force them to eat the plant. If they're not one of us they don't matter. I suggest one of the upright apes with interchangeable skins and loud sticks. Yeah, after some thought I do think this is the best option. +1
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Oct 5, 2019 16:35
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It seems offering tax exemption isn't working. Perhaps it just needs a new angle? A) Offer more tax benefits: Fall in the line of tasting herbs, and your immediate descendants, if any, get tax exemption. Does not include adopted descendants as that would be abused very quickly. Herb taster position still limited, lest everyone (ha) suddenly decides to join the herb tasters. B) Herb taster as alternative to being taxed. About to be taxed and an herb taster position is open? You may have a second chance! C) Once chosen, the herb taster role is mandatory. Someone has to taste those herbs, and if they won't voluntarily...
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Oct 6, 2019 21:34
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: Better tax incentive and maybe kidnap non-local to do it?: Just like capturing enemy in the old days.: You will not take me alive! But I failed because I am still here?: The shady way, eh? I like doing shady things. As for tax, what do you have in mind?: Give it to those who are close to being taxed, the old, the very old old, and the agreed upon tax deal. : I suppose the old would take it since they have nothing else to lose. Those with existing deal, however, would require permission from both parties. I don’t think the Snake lord would donate you some of their exclusive rabbits, which is a shame because rabbit have a fast breed short life culture.: Can’t we give tax incentive to the lord for their assistance?: Giving tax benefit to an apex predator is very, very costly since it usually applies to their territory.: It seem we can only go with kidnapping and persuading seniors. Unless you want to give tax benefit to my realm?: No can do.: Too bad, but I am not that sad since I get to snake up on unsuspecting victim and CHOM CHOM.: No CHOM CHOM!: One CHOM?: One is too much.: Half a CHOM?:Half taxed tester aren’t good.: You make me sad. *tears*: Keep your eye lube to yourself.: I can’t stop thinking about CHOM CHOM now that I got so excited!: Then go tax someone irrelevant!: Careful what you says, Mr. Croc might interpret it wrongly.: Don’t CHOM CHOM.: Too late! I am going to get a couple CHOM CHOM! *Crawls away hurriedly*: Why is he the leader?: CHOM CHOM champion last year?: Their culture are quite a mouthful to describe. Result The crocodile lord deploys spies from his personal intelligent network to steal foreign taxpayer from other region. The process will take a while to bear fruit if it’s successful. Hopefully, their secret agents won’t lose themselves to CHOM CHOM… unless their lord have tax incentive to form a proper budget for the mission. Very few elderly agrees to the tester incentive. “I managed to retire through the impossible odds of high mortality of my kind! No way I am giving it away now!” “Taxed to food poison isn’t how I wish to go.” “Who care about my children? What did they ever do for me!?” “You should ask my father. He is older, more taxable, and somehow still alive.” In a tax intensive world where a civil war is taking place, not many are willing to sacrifice for the greater good. The participants are too miniscule to make any impact on the investigation. Dark times calls for desperation (and fun) method. Only time will tell if the kidnapping program will yield any result. Status: Forest Health: 84 (+5 War, -1 ???) Ecosystem: 40 (-5 War, -5 Kidnap/CHOM CHOM) Relationship Apex Predator: 55 (+10 I LOVE SNEAKY KIDNAPPING) Predator: 10 (-5) Prey: -25 (-20) ----------------  “Are you Mr. Owl?” An unfamiliar beast of foreign origin visited you humble dwelling of uncomfortable tree branch. : Yes, I don’t recognize you.: Are you the wolf king’s furless cousin? : Or a large dog? : Goodness, when I heard others said the inhabitant here have bad eyes issue, I didn’t think it would be this bad. : Might be our water?: You aren’t a dog, right?: No. I am a proud mustang who journeys with my herd are nomad who travels the land in peace. We are merely passing by to pay our respect to the local Mr. Owl… which is… which two of you?: Two?: This sick looking featherless owl is the one in charge.: This… owl? : Yes. I am very sick… and might have some crossbreed ancestry. Don’t judge me.: My apology. I didn’t wish to offend you. It seem I still have a lot to see and learn in my travel.: You are forgiven for your poor vision.: Is there anything else?: No? Normally I either would be chase out of the forest or invited as guest. In some case, I might have to perform or adhered to strange local tradition before allowing passage onward.: Oh ho! Tradition!: Hoot! We do?: We don’t, but there shouldn’t be any repercussions for nomadic foreigners.: I hope it’s not one of those awful trial, trial run, or trail run.:A) BEGONE FROM THIS FOREST B) Stay and chill with us (Long stays are subjected to tax) C) To pass through this land, you must: [Write-in] -------------  Mr. Majestic, the World Leader of Sky, Magnificent Bird of Splendor, owners of many other glorifying titles have returned for a visit.  : Greetings my fellow councilor of the forest.: What can we help you today?: For once, it is not an inquiry, but an invitation!: Bird Party? : Lots of ‘bird’ food?: What sort of invitation are we talking about? If it’s veteran gathering, it had better include Bingo Night.: Nothing that placid, my respectable warrior. It’s the highly competitive Sky Flying Competition!: Free fall!?: Oh, the hot-blooded event that the young likes.: It is good to witness such vitality in the next generation.: Are we going to fly? I don’t feel well.: Fear not, you three are invited as judges for scoring and commentary, but you are welcome to join instead of judging.: It’s too boring compares to the life and death march during the war. Those are the REAL FLYING!: Isn’t this supposed to occur later this year?: Yes, it was. However, the War of the Wolves have excited a bunch of young one, and this is a good way for them to vent it out before they starts to cause trouble.: How considered of you.: Yes, please do come early for the preparation.: But I haven’t accepted the invitation.: Ah, my apology. You WOULD accept it, right?: Say no and Mr. Eagle will be sad?: Very sad for you.: I have a bad feeling about this. Can’t the two of you go instead?: Who going to be the tie-breaker?: Eagle? : Do you want to start a war of the flyer due to bias dispute? : There are someone else participating?: Everyone that can fly. You won’t want an enemy that can fly.: There’s no way Mr. Eagle would cause a war.: He have been eyeing some resources in the middle east for a while.: Need conrgess approval for starting war?: A good and bias way to sparks some anger and get approval.: If only one of you can come, I must INSIST the current Mr. Owl to be the one. As it is proper. Lots of food will be provided, of course.:D) We will attend. E) I will attend. F) Sorry, I can’t. G) Sorry, we can’t. H) I quit, no more Mr. Owl. I) Write-in
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Oct 18, 2019 01:37
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Horses: "You've traveled far and wide, yes? Let us share our knowledge of plants and herbs while you share yours, and you may pass through our forest." Mr. Eagle: "Your offer is generous, but only one of us should go. There are more flyers than birds, yes? It wouldn't be a good look for the judges of all who fly to be birds alone! Veteran Owl has seen many fly over the years, and be the best of us three to judge; while the other positions are taken by other, non-birds who can fly."
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Oct 18, 2019 01:50
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B. Horse friend! D. But we sprained a wing, unfortunately. If it's not too much trouble I'd like to see what the mountain goats and/or freshwater river dolphins have been up to in this extremely plausible forest ecosystem at some point.
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Oct 18, 2019 02:20
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Arcanuse posted:Horses: "You've traveled far and wide, yes? Let us share our knowledge of plants and herbs while you share yours, and you may pass through our forest." I concur
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Oct 19, 2019 10:23
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Come stay with us. We provide tax-free lodging for short-term visitor. Time of due for tax payment is subject to local governing entity you encounter. Mr. Owl held no responsibility for everything they said. Welcome to tax haven…? That sounds fabulous! I do like to watch Mr. Owl solving life’s problem one at a time! Oh you do? Yes, my grandmother always praise the wise and smart Mr. Owl’s advice. You can look forward to our very wise decision that is generally incomprehensible. Too many layers of reasoning and counter reasoning. Very deep and not shallow? Great! By the way, do you know anything about herb? Yes? But don’t you? Yes. Deeply. We want to make sure you don’t accidently ingest our local fauna. Don’t horse around our local fauna, ok? Ah, of course. I will shares what I know with you when I spotted one. And stay away from the water. But where do I drink? If you see a giraffe or other animal spinning in circle in or near a pool of water, avoid those. That seem obvious? The local have eyes problem? I can affirm to that as long as I am here. ---------------------- One of us will go. Someone have to stay and give advises to other animal, but the BEST of us will go. Me? My beautiful mind have long been scarred, and I am too biased to judge the next generation. What happened to soft classical music when I was youn… Consider the ‘questionable’ nature of your other friend, I believe the current Mr. Owl would be best. But I can’t fly-I meant, sick! Very sick! Sprained my wing, in fact! The competition only requires your brain. I don’t think I can make the long journey without becoming dangerously underweight. Don’t worry, Mr. Owl. I will carry you. Oh drat the consequence of my decision! So it is decided. Wait, we should have other variety of flyer representatives to join the judge panel for fairness and in case I fainted or kidnapped on my way there. Goodness, you might be right about your terrible state of health. You look awful. Right? So I sho- Maybe we should find a NEW healthier Mr. Owl that is still ‘alive’ and well enough to enjoy their tax-free benefits. I will be there. You can depend on this Mr. Owl. Good. Slave driver? I oppose slavery, and all for legal capitalistic exploitation to maximize workforce profit. Anyone in mind for the other judge? Like me? I don’t, and it’s best you impartial owl decides it for me.Write-in flyer of different species BEAUTY HILL (Hill renamed by rebel forces) This is baaad! We failed to intercept their supply line for the FIFTH TIME! We will starves in this hill before them! Those wolves must have a really good boy scout! Forest Health: 88 (+5 War. -1 ???) Don’t worry, babe. We still have plenty of grass on the ground! It’s sprouting here and there like bugs in the rain! Those wolves will not starve us so easily. They will if we keep getting stuck in this mountain surrounded by wolves! Hey, we are wolves too! Proud horned vegan wolves! I am an extra-fur wolf! Those cannibals will eat each other when they ran out of food. The moment they split forces to go hurt for food, we will rush down with greater numbers! What if we ran out of food first? You horn wolves eats A LOT! Don’t worrrrry, we hired a mercenary. A mercenary? One mercenary? He is an outlaw. *Gasp*------------- Beneath Wooly Hill (As named by the Wolf King forces) Those wolves won’t last long at this rate. Look at how fat and juicy those horned wolves is getting. They must have been eating their limited ration like a glutton. Those with a lot of furs keep making me cough hairball like a damned cat. I haven’t have a cat for ages. I missed those appetizers. Too bad they are long gone. I heard they have a secret community of survivors out there somewhere. Those drat tax evader. You think our good boy can sniff them out? He is very good. Maybe after this war is over. We will get them even if they are in disguise. Now I am hungry. This siege sucks. You think we will have enough food to outlive them?Ecosystem: 31 (-5 War, -4 Kidnap/CHOM CHOM) We are running low. Our taxpayers are hiding or fled to other territory. One of our supply line not led by the good boy is getting intercepted too. This is not good. We might really lose in number if this goes on. I am sure the Wolf King will have something in mind. Like a loan from other lords? The interest rate would be terrible, but we can pay it back once we get back those extra-fur. Good thinking.--------- Relationship: Apex Predator: 65 (+10 I FOUND SOMEONE’S SUPPLY LINE! CHOM CHOM!) Predator: 10 Prey: -25
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Oct 25, 2019 00:18
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If they demanded a 'bird' then Emu. If they demanded 'flyer', Ghost Bat. Also we need to make sure the goat/sheep win. For ecosystem reasons. If anyone knows anything anything about fighting off wolves it's a muskox.
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Oct 25, 2019 02:51
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