|
I couldn't make it through 30 seconds of the trailer
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2019 20:31
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 03:26 |
|
|
yeah I eat rear end posted:can we take a moment to admire this guy's hat (only picture I could find of it no idea who the dude on the left is): I went to Concordia Language Villages for summer camp for a few weeks when I was a kid. There was a kid in my cabin that always wore his baseball cap like that. He looked like an idiot and we told him so constantly. Then one day, we all got cycling caps with German colors on them. You know, the ones where you usually tip the brim up. He refused to tip up the brim and kept it down instead. He was a weirdo.
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2019 14:51
|
|
|
Pastry of the Year posted:LOTTO: A MODERN DAY TALE Pretty sure sharing this with people is against the Geneva Convention. Holy smokes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg_t3y3zoMQ This is basically babby's first LARP session, plus Kevin Sorbo phoning it in soooo hard. It's a kickstarter movie that spawned 5 sequels because it did so well, I guess? I watched it with my sister and it was an absolute drag, but apparently I'm just not the target audience. The characters are all jerks (because that creates conflict and conflict is interesting, right!??), the world is almost literally just the DnD handbook, the writing is clunky and full of cliches. 5 stars! So if you like bad fantasy movies, this is like a goldmine. On a similar note, but more fun, there's the 2000 Dungeons and Dragons movie! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SnA2rv4ros It's really bad, but my wife loves it. My favorite bits are: Jeremy Irons just devouring all of the scenery in sight, the elf knight lady with this extremely polished, form-fitted body armor with a perfectly sculpted belly button, and the sub-villain's periwinkle blue lipstick.  Another bad movie that I love is Slipstream (1989) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GX6r9zXVOk8 My sister and I found this at the local 99 cents store way back. The film quality is pretty bad. It's set in a world where some kind of techno-apocalypse caused the world to be covered in a heavy windstorm, so a lot of scenes have tons of wind-noise, making it really hard to hear a good chunk of the dialogue, which may or may not be a selling point. It's got Mark Hamill and Bill Paxton, showing up for a paycheck and not much else, and brief cameos by Robert Coltrane, Ben Kingsley and F. Murray Abraham. It was directed by Steven Lisberger, who directed Tron. So imagine Tron without the groundbreaking special effects. It's too bad Hamill and Paxton didn't deliver better performances, I really think the corny plot and dialogue in Tron is saved by Jeff Bridges and David Warner performances (and the distinctive look of the film), and they could've done the same here. What makes this film memorable is Bob Peck, who you may remember from Jurassic Park. Bob Peck plays an android named Byron, as in Lord Byron, being hunted because he killed a man for ~reasons~. Somehow Bob Peck sells it. He's [i]mesmerizing, he just absolutely commits to the part. It's like flipping a switch- every scene where Peck is speaking, you're watching a serious drama, and then every other bit is a sci-fi flop from the 80s. After we watched it, I wanted to see what else he was in because he was so drat good, and was sad to discover he died back in 2000 from cancer. Shoot, I haven't thought about this movie in years, I should check out some of Peck's other roles. You can watch the whole movie here Zonko_T.M. has a new favorite as of 18:55 on Aug 30, 2019 |
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2019 18:52
|
|
|
Quote is not edit! Whoops!
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2019 18:55
|
|
|
 friday night plans: officially sorted
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2019 19:08
|
|
|
 just a couple minutes in and velocipastor is amazing me already with their special effects
|
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2019 00:03
|
|
|
overall review: it's a way to spend $7.99 and an hour and 10 minutes of your life a very good way, to be clear
|
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2019 00:47
|
|
|
I've got to say, where pureflix really suffers is in the talking animal movie category. I put on "The Dog Who Saved Summer" and it's just kind of lame. So far this isn't even christian-themed. In fact the dog is named Zeus, which imho is more blasphemous than pure for a flix. i mean come on they don't even use bad cgi to make the dogs' mouths move. It's just a voiceover. These dogs are not talking! this movie is offensively bland. I thought you were better than this pureflix. yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 23:49 on Sep 1, 2019 |
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2019 23:42
|
|
|
yeah I eat rear end posted:i mean come on they don't even use bad cgi to make the dogs' mouths move. It's just a voiceover. These dogs are not talking! If it worked for Look Who's Talking Too, it'll work for The Dog Who Saved Summer 
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 02:24
|
|
|
I mean, OK, all the stars were there including people from hit show "dog with a blog". They clearly spared no expense in casting. but honestly, this dog shouldn't have needed to save summer. It wasn't his fault summer was ruined, it was the other dog. And he certainly shouldn't have the burden of foiling a diamond heist on top of winning back the love of his family.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 02:27
|
|
|
Jaws 1 was awesome. Jaws 2 was a worthy sequel imho. Jaws 3 and 4 were awful, with the third one being worse than the fourth. But I still like them both.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 04:57
|
|
|
wesleywillis posted:Jaws 1 was awesome. Jaws 2 was a worthy sequel imho. my favorite is the one with the shark that explodes when touched by the tip of the boat and also it roars. I think that was the fourth one. I remember 3 not being too terrible except for how dumb the "shark is hunting our family specifically" plot was. e: maybe all of what i'm talking about is from 4, it has been a while since I watched it yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 13:51 on Sep 2, 2019 |
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 13:29
|
|
|
I enjoy Jaws 3 more than 2, stupid lingering 3d scenes and all. Slow still shot of jaws ramming into the glass is hilarious.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 13:46
|
|
|
yeah I eat rear end posted:
I wasn't sure if that was edited for the article, but holy poo poo that was the actual scene?
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 15:03
|
|
|
Schubalts posted:I wasn't sure if that was edited for the article, but holy poo poo that was the actual scene? Yeah, it's on the screen for a good 20-30 seconds too. I was worried they'd use that gimmick for every special effect for the rest of the movie but fortunately they had some restraint.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 15:06
|
|
|
I realise the movie could pretty much never be made, but it annoys me that VelociPastor doesn't work as well as VelociRaper. Ooh, VelociRapper could be a kids' movie with MC Hammer as the voice of a CGI rapping dinosaur.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 15:09
|
|
|
Sunswipe posted:Ooh, VelociRapper could be a kids' movie with MC Hammer as the voice of a CGI rapping dinosaur. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOQ7bqtRLC4 he's too busy working on his music career apparently
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 15:14
|
|
|
I recently acquired a copy of 1982's 'Q: The Winged Serpent', starring David Carradine, Shaft, and that guy from Law & Order. Honestly it looks amazing, can't wait. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nCE3xpqBNdM And look at this loving poster 
Imagined has a new favorite as of 04:51 on Sep 3, 2019 |
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 04:47
|
|
|
Orca was a pretty awful movie. Basically trying to half rear end rip off Jaws, but with a killer whale instead of a shark.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 11:08
|
|
|
My month trial of Pure Flix is about to end and I feel like I haven't scratched the surface on their "properties". I'm going to spend 11 dollars to be a paying member of this movie service and I am sure I will not regret this.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 20:25
|
|
|
Imagined posted:I recently acquired a copy of 1982's 'Q: The Winged Serpent', starring David Carradine, Shaft, and that guy from Law & Order. Honestly it looks amazing, can't wait. David’s gotta have that top billing for sitting in his armchair and muttering drunkenly for five minutes.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 21:58
|
|
|
Evil Toons (1992) Trailer: https://youtu.be/J7othu6spYY https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0099524/ A group of hot girls are hired to clean out a house. They find a book that looks like the necronomicon. They read from the book which releases a cartoon demon. Said demon sexually assaults one of the girls, morphs into her, starts to kill the others who often get naked. Oh, David Caradine is there too.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 23:21
|
|
|
I watched "wolf warrior 2' the other night It's super RAH RAH CHINA LOVES AFRICA propaganda film Decent enough action flick but the fingerprints of the Chinese government are all over it. It's ridiculous It literally shouts at the screen "China and Africa are friends" multiple times and ends with saying to the audience "If Africa ever needs our help, then you can have it because we are friends"
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2019 00:22
|
|
|
The first movie is just as bad with the bad guys being American mercenaries (and by American I mean they're lead by Scott Adkins, a British actor.)
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2019 06:33
|
|
|
muscles like this! posted:The first movie is just as bad with the bad guys being American mercenaries (and by American I mean they're lead by Scott Adkins, a British actor.) There was a subtle dig later on in the film saying how the American forces we nowhere to be found when they were needed
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2019 06:47
|
|
|
Anything by Andy Sidaris is going to be terrible, but Hard Ticket to Hawaii has a special place for this scene alone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAaPeMMJLgs
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2019 08:53
|
|
|
CombatBonta-kun posted:Anything by Andy Sidaris is going to be terrible, but Hard Ticket to Hawaii has a special place for this scene alone. Hard ticket to Hawaii is amazing , and the end sequence with the harpoon gun and the dude breaking through is a scene of surprising quality I'm a film with nunchucking blowup doll assassins
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2019 10:00
|
|
|
Behind Maslow posted:Evil Toons (1992) I don't know why the "this dude is RUDE!" tagline is cracking me up every time I look at it but it is.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2019 10:14
|
|
|
LITERALLY A BIRD posted:I don't know why the "this dude is RUDE!" tagline is cracking me up every time I look at it but it is. then you'll just love this screen capture from the direct-to-video F.A.R.T.: The Movie (1991), fully half of which is dedicated to a guy farting and laughing while he watches TV shows about farting, including this stand-up by The Rude Dudes:  edited to add the video box art  note: I have never made it all the way through this despite several attempts over, like, ten-plus years of having a lovely VHS rip of it
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 12:53
|
|
|
I'm still not convinced the N-headed shark attacks movies count as "terrible movies", but... I used my work from home day today only partially because Syfy was doing a marathon of these (3, 5, and 6 headed shark attack) and it really made me think, seeing them back to back like this. When the shark can get you on land too, it makes things a lot more complicated, but you would think even considering that, running directly into the water and trying to outswim the shark would be your last resort. And yet the characters in every one of these movies does this like all the time. See a boat 1000 feet off from shore? Run off the island and into the water. The boat motor stalls in the middle of the ocean? Jump in the water. See the shark swimming toward shore? Walk into the water and tell people to check out this whale. Stop going into the water. And stop just chopping off one of the heads! In the first one it was forgivable, Danny Trejo didn't know what would happen after he spent like a solid minute whacking at the middle head with his machete (seems kind of an impractical tool to bring on a boat, by the way), but the people in the sequel should know you have to keep chopping. It would be a bit of a stretch for the shark to regenerate after finely dicing the entire thing.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 20:39
|
|
|
I thought pureflix would be an endless source of entertainment and didn't even mind that I paid 11 dollars because I forgot to cancel. Now I am definitely canceling. There is just too much bland garbage to dig through, and not entertaining garbage. Biker gang apocalypse movie series? Great. 2000 movies about overcoming basic marital problems through christ? I can't do it. Sorry pureflix.
|
|
#
?
Oct 5, 2019 22:52
|
|
|
I rewatched cat in the hat the other night It's really interesting to see how much that didn't stick the landing and how it fell flat To juxtapose, I recently watched STALKER and had an enjoyable time with it Cat in the hat takes 40 minutes to get onto a major theme of the cat's box leaking into reality and warping it, but it frenetically bounces off the walls with sub plots (mother's party, boy is mischievous and must behave, mother's boyfriend is a prick etc) to distract you in those 40 minutes. And to it's strength it has an incredibly strong visual design that honestly isnt bad for a live action Suess film. While STALKER, A movie often called slow, has a setting and a story that includes evading the police in a sort of hide and seek style and gun fire in the first 20 minutes or so. Admittedly having read the book STALKER is based on I was far more prepped for the mood of the film. I read a quote that stated something like "STALKER challenges you to be bored" and I think that's a real good way to put it. The shots are long and earthy but subtly tracking or drawing focus. Contrasted with Cat in the hat's frenetic colour and editing style. I definitely enjoyed cat in the hat more than I expected but I couldn't quite pick the audience. I have a few young reletives spanning from 3 to 8 and I don't think they would have enjoyed it. The humor was almost always to adult for kids, but the visuals were honestly a touch disturbing ( or just unpleasant) for the younguns. An odd film worthy of study of what not to do And interesting
|
|
#
?
Nov 28, 2019 00:50
|
|
|
To celebrate thanksgiving and my dad coming up to visit, we watched Thankskilling, about a rude as all heck murderous turkey. It's hilarious (albeit very crude) even when you're not drunk, which puts it in a pretty esteemed category in my rankings of terrible movies. The part where the turkey wears the sheriff's face after brutally murdering him and the main characters carry on as if nothing is strange about this is my favorite part. I haven't laughed that hard since Velocipastor.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2019 00:11
|
|
|
Anybody else delving into shovelware Christmas movies for the season?
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2019 00:40
|
|
|
Darthemed posted:Anybody else delving into shovelware Christmas movies for the season? I kind of wish I hadn't canceled my Pureflix subscription last month (after forgetting to cancel my trial and paying for 2 full months). I bet they have a treasure trove of terrible christmas movies.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2019 00:45
|
|
|
Tubitv.com has a strong showing, and it's free. Highlights from my watching so far have included Christmas Trade (2015, a father/son body-swap with William Baldwin as the dad), Christmas Tail (2014 romcom with dog drama), and Monster & Me/Santa & Me, which is about a mean girl getting turned into a monster by Santa, to teach her a lesson. Becoming a monster entails having a unibrow, four facial boils, messy hair, and blackened teeth.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2019 00:56
|
|
|
Has anyone watched A Karate Christmas Miracle yet?
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2019 01:02
|
|
|
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107668/ Nemesis (1992) Directed by Albert "Cyborg" Pyun Alex, a burned out LA cyborg cop, is forced by commissioner Farnsworth to find his former cyborg partner and lover Jared who's about to deliver sensitive data to cyborg terrorists who wish to wage war against humans. Is he being played?  I wanted to tell this terrorist that I had given a lot of though to what she said back in LA. About whether I was more machine than human. I wanted to tell her she started me thinking. I really wanted to tell her all this. But she was dead. So instead I, I sat there listening to the sound of approaching jet engines. The kind of jet engines that LAPD used in their vehicles.  Hello we are the LAPD  Business cyborgs   and so on  Everyone is a cyborg Its a pretty bad movie.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2019 13:45
|
|
|
The sequels are kind of amazing for how loose they get with the plots.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2019 19:24
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 03:26 |
|
|
munce posted:https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107668/ I watched this minutes ago and unironically loved it Want a modern remake
|
|
#
?
Dec 7, 2019 12:59
|
|