Goon Hygiene Habits

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Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

limp_cheese posted:

When I get up in the morning I take my eye out and put it in a cup of cold water. Its nice to air out the socket and I don't want to be rubbing my dry eye while I'm taking a poo poo.

Afterwards I wash my hands and make sure my eye lashes and the eye itself doesn't have any dried "sleep" or tears or whatever on it. Once I'm good I pop that fucker back in and start my day.

I also have to push a tissue against my eye a few times a day when the natural occuring tears build up in my eye socket and start leaking out. It looks like I'm crying and because of the numbness/paralysis I don't feel it happening sometimes. When I can feel it it feels like my eye is floating in a lake in my socket. Its a loving wierd feeling.

Are you trolling or do you actually have a fake eye because that's kinda neat.

# ? Sep 10, 2019 03:50

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 02:07

Spins: Feb 26, 2016; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Captain Hygiene posted:

I know my username's just a gag but this advice is just beyond the pale

Dang obviously I phrased it poorly. I don't ADVISE it; it was an observation-----a warning, really.

# ? Sep 10, 2019 03:58

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Captain Hygiene posted:

my username's just a gag

Gagging is what Spins does whenever she inhales.

# ? Sep 10, 2019 04:00

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

Resting Lich Face posted:

Gagging is what Spins does whenever she inhales.

# ? Sep 10, 2019 04:04

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Resting Lich Face posted:

Gagging is what Spins does whenever she inhales.

# ? Sep 10, 2019 04:08

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

went camping

didnt even shower ALL weekend

:smug:

i did jump in a lake though

# ? Sep 10, 2019 04:11

Spins: Feb 26, 2016; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Lol
My teeth are fine, better be
$$
I go 4 times a year as well

# ? Sep 10, 2019 04:23

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Spins posted:

Lol
My teeth are fine, better be
$$
I go 4 times a year as well

Stop digging

# ? Sep 10, 2019 04:26

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

... out the maggots from your molar abscess, it's scaring the children

# ? Sep 10, 2019 04:26

Spins: Feb 26, 2016; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Burt Sexual posted:

Stop digging

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Sep 10, 2019 04:57

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Going to the dentist every 4 months rules.

About a year ago they forced a free waterpik on me and telling me to not tell anyone else because they were not supposed to give them away. Its great to clean out the space between my gums, which used to be my shin, and the denture that's screwed into my jaw. Sometimes it gives me a taste of the meals I've eaten throughout the day all at once.

poo poo's wierd in there so dental hygiene is important to me.

# ? Sep 10, 2019 06:18

Good Ol Filbert: Jun 10, 2019

limp_cheese posted:

Going to the dentist every 4 months rules.

About a year ago they forced a free waterpik on me and telling me to not tell anyone else because they were not supposed to give them away. Its great to clean out the space between my gums, which used to be my shin, and the denture that's screwed into my jaw. Sometimes it gives me a taste of the meals I've eaten throughout the day all at once.

poo poo's wierd in there so dental hygiene is important to me.

Sir, I'm not sure if you were aware, but faces shouldn't come with detachable parts and I am worried about you. Are you a living Mr. Potato Head, or perhaps a human more human than human?

I'm happy that you're taking good care of yourself and your crevices. You seem like a nice person, just concerned about your body parts is all

# ? Sep 10, 2019 09:18

DiscoWitch: Oct 16, 2009; uwu

You'll find my teeth on page 69 of the big book of British smiles tyvm

# ? Sep 10, 2019 09:40

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Good Ol Filbert posted:

Sir, I'm not sure if you were aware, but faces shouldn't come with detachable parts and I am worried about you. Are you a living Mr. Potato Head, or perhaps a human more human than human?

I'm happy that you're taking good care of yourself and your crevices. You seem like a nice person, just concerned about your body parts is all

There is no need ro be worried. My face exploded many years ago and its quite amazing what medical science can do to put someone back together. I'm aware when I talk about these things it sounds like pure strain bullshit but that's just my life now :shrug:

Might as well continue. One of the things that the dentist hygenist does when I go get my teeth cleaned is give me a haircut in my mouth when the hair in there gets too long. Its not nearly as thick since I did a hair removal procedure that involved an electric needle but there's a few strands they couldn't get. I would do it myself but I don't trust myself not to cut myself with the scissors. It does feel quite good after the haircut but it always grows back.

I thought I had more but I think that's it. I'll be sure to post again if I think of anymore insane hygiene things I do.

# ? Sep 10, 2019 16:02

Spins: Feb 26, 2016; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

limp_cheese posted:

There is no need ro be worried. My face exploded many years ago and its quite amazing what medical science can do to put someone back together. I'm aware when I talk about these things it sounds like pure strain bullshit but that's just my life now

Might as well continue. One of the things that the dentist hygenist does when I go get my teeth cleaned is give me a haircut in my mouth when the hair in there gets too long. Its not nearly as thick since I did a hair removal procedure that involved an electric needle but there's a few strands they couldn't get. I would do it myself but I don't trust myself not to cut myself with the scissors. It does feel quite good after the haircut but it always grows back.

I thought I had more but I think that's it. I'll be sure to post again if I think of anymore insane hygiene things I do.

I'm glad you are here with us.
It seems to me that while we can't do dick about autoimmune anything or cancer really
Modern medicine IS excellent at repair of physical structures, yeah

# ? Sep 10, 2019 16:13

ilikedirt: Oct 15, 2004; king of posting

Wash your jeans every day

# ? Sep 10, 2019 20:23

Oscar Wild: Apr 11, 2006; It's good to be a G

Vaginas like ears are self cleaning, no need to use all that dish soap or anything.

And a reminder that a fleshlight is a pocket pussy, so it probably operates on the same principle.

# ? Sep 10, 2019 23:48

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

use tide laundry detergent as lube, problem solved

# ? Sep 10, 2019 23:54

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Assholes are self cleaning too.

# ? Sep 11, 2019 03:31

Masturbasturd: Sep 1, 2014

Goon + nerd = gnerd, got it?

# ? Sep 11, 2019 05:20

BromanderData: Mar 20, 2013; Stroke it with me

The Chosen One

BigBadSteve posted:

See a doctor pronto for gently caress's sake, poo poo is not supposed to have blood in it. Internal bleeding is not trivial

Pro health tip: And be honest with the doctor about exactly how much you drink.

To add to this, bright red blood probably not something to be super worried about unless it sticks around for a long time.

I mean hey hemorrhoids happen from time to time.

But if it�s dark red and in the poop, please do go see a doctor immediately.

# ? Sep 11, 2019 05:28

Oscar Wild: Apr 11, 2006; It's good to be a G

Colonel Cancer posted:

Assholes are self cleaning too.

Assholes, rectums. poo poo, the whole body is self cleaning. You might as well stop using stringent detergents.

# ? Sep 11, 2019 05:31

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Oscar Wild posted:

Assholes, rectums. poo poo, the whole body is self cleaning. You might as well stop using stringent detergents.

that guys dick still stinks i bet

# ? Sep 11, 2019 05:40

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

imagine having sex with a cave babe

drat

if i invent a time machine im bringing condoms

# ? Sep 11, 2019 07:03

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

numberoneposter posted:

imagine having sex with a cave babe

drat

if i invent a time machine im bringing condoms

Cave babes are the future. :ducksiren:

# ? Sep 11, 2019 07:16

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

numberoneposter posted:

imagine having sex with a cave babe

drat

if i invent a time machine im bringing condoms

...Moe Szyslak?

# ? Sep 11, 2019 07:20

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

who am i kidding im not even going to use the condoms

# ? Sep 11, 2019 07:41

Collapsing Farts: Jun 29, 2018; ð

Just get used to the stink and bush

# ? Sep 11, 2019 07:44

Good Ol Filbert: Jun 10, 2019

limp_cheese posted:

There is no need ro be worried. My face exploded many years ago and its quite amazing what medical science can do to put someone back together. I'm aware when I talk about these things it sounds like pure strain bullshit but that's just my life now

Might as well continue. One of the things that the dentist hygenist does when I go get my teeth cleaned is give me a haircut in my mouth when the hair in there gets too long. Its not nearly as thick since I did a hair removal procedure that involved an electric needle but there's a few strands they couldn't get. I would do it myself but I don't trust myself not to cut myself with the scissors. It does feel quite good after the haircut but it always grows back.

I thought I had more but I think that's it. I'll be sure to post again if I think of anymore insane hygiene things I do.

Oh, a human more human than human, awesome! I'm sorry that your face exploded, it must have been very difficult for you. :glomp:

# ? Sep 11, 2019 07:52

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

numberoneposter posted:

imagine having sex with a cave babe

drat

if i invent a time machine im bringing condoms

id bring a bar of soap and try to hint that they need to wash up before we do anything but im pretty sure there are girls of that caliber in present day

# ? Sep 11, 2019 08:13

Spins: Feb 26, 2016; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

gary oldmans diary posted:

id bring a bar of soap and try to hint that they need to wash up before we do anything but im pretty sure there are girls of that caliber in present day

Yup