Star Citizen: $48,000 is only $334/month for 12 years

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Star Citizen: $48,000 is only $334/month for 12 years

colonelwest: Jun 30, 2018

ManofManyAliases posted:

Sad I missed out on the closure. Not sad that I can get in at the ground floor again. How does a $4k for cyber sound?

Also, anyone else looking forward to Q1/Q2 of 2020? I am.

I'm really excited for the annual CitCon apology and expectation management tour brought to us by CIG's angel investors and new partial owners the Calders.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 04:22

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 14:54

no_recall: Aug 17, 2015; Lipstick Apathy

Sarsapariller posted:

Oh good it's time for another summary of

INSIDE STAR CITIZEN

The show where a bunch of flop-sweating idiots desperately scrape the bottom of the barrel to portray trivial crap as serious development milestones! This week's episode: holes in the ground!

Summary:
* Jared is talking, skip skip skip
* "Designers use those tools to create... traversible layers, suitable for a variety of gameplay needs." Maps. You meant to say "maps." You are making video game maps.
* They're interviewing the german devs in front of what is clearly a green screen, with a picture of their development office plastered on it. What the gently caress? Did they lose the office?
* We're talking about caves again today. We talked about caves before, but we're also talking about them again now. We will talk about caves more in the future. Caves are critical to the development of our spaceship game. This is not at all a reflection of how Cryengine basically sucks poo poo at anything that isn't regular FPS levels.
* The caves have lighting. Nobody cares.
* They've modeled pieces of rock to make the caves with. Literally nobody cares. Every video game for 30 years has had caves.
* They've unironically used procedural and fidelity multiple times. All they're showing is just loving rocks. This is the worst.
* Shocker, there will be random NPCshit in the caves. Explore and survive! Your ankles are going to break in the first 30 seconds.
* They realized that uniform grey rocks were impossible to navigate so they painted surfaces with lichen, i.e. bright yellow patches, to "Lead the player towards the navigatable path," just like every other loving video game ever.
* Is Star Citizen even about anything anymore? Is it just about keeping a bunch of video game designers permanently employed? Next year they're going to be doing sewer levels.
* There will be mining in these caves. FPS mining, in a cave, in the spaceship game.
* Oh my god every segment of this loving video is just about caves. The next segment is about atmosphere and lighting in the caves. gently caress this.
* Did you know that caves are pretty dark?
* They decided to add some bioluminescent plants to make the caves look nicer. Nobody's ever had this thought before.
* OH GOOD NOW WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE SOUNDSCAPE OF THE CAVES
* I can't. I just can't.
* Star Citizen is a complete fraud. Nobody asked for this. Nobody is excited about this. None of the fundamentals of the game work. This should have been a feature for your like, third MMO expansion, after you'd solved everything else. Instead it's the total focus of like half your loving company because you are so god drat incompetent that you literally cannot develop anything but the most basic features that CryEngine already provides to you.
* Then you round those incredibly meagre scraps up and try to fluff them into multiple sixteen-minute videos and it's so transparent that you have nothing, nothing that could even be considered a functional game mechanic. You're just frittering away your time and ours, pissing out money until this whole thing collapses.
* gently caress this show, gently caress Star Citizen, gently caress you for reading this. I'm out.

Your sacrifice is appreciated. o9 Commando

# ? Sep 13, 2019 04:43

Rotten Red Rod: Mar 5, 2002

Facebook Aunt posted:

So you have a few guys make cryengine cave maps. Maybe Chris won't even interfere much since caves are boring. They could wow backers for years with the amazing progress they are making on this minor feature.

Yep. Caves are way, way easier to make than basically any other thing in this game. Or any game, really. So it's no surprise they're progressing quickly on this feature enough to show it off at the exclusion of, I don't know, any of the other gameplay systems they've promised and abandoned over the years.

Now if they'll actually be able to implement caves onto the giant generated worlds they've created... That's another story.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 05:21

Ramadu: Aug 25, 2004; 2015 NFL MVP

# ? Sep 13, 2019 05:23

eonwe: Aug 11, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Ramadu posted:

# ? Sep 13, 2019 05:26

Agony Aunt: Apr 17, 2018; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Sarsapariller posted:

Oh good it's time for another summary of

INSIDE STAR CITIZEN

The show where a bunch of flop-sweating idiots desperately scrape the bottom of the barrel to portray trivial crap as serious development milestones! This week's episode: holes in the ground!

Summary:
* Jared is talking, skip skip skip
* "Designers use those tools to create... traversible layers, suitable for a variety of gameplay needs." Maps. You meant to say "maps." You are making video game maps.
* They're interviewing the german devs in front of what is clearly a green screen, with a picture of their development office plastered on it. What the gently caress? Did they lose the office?
* We're talking about caves again today. We talked about caves before, but we're also talking about them again now. We will talk about caves more in the future. Caves are critical to the development of our spaceship game. This is not at all a reflection of how Cryengine basically sucks poo poo at anything that isn't regular FPS levels.
* The caves have lighting. Nobody cares.
* They've modeled pieces of rock to make the caves with. Literally nobody cares. Every video game for 30 years has had caves.
* They've unironically used procedural and fidelity multiple times. All they're showing is just loving rocks. This is the worst.
* Shocker, there will be random NPCshit in the caves. Explore and survive! Your ankles are going to break in the first 30 seconds.
* They realized that uniform grey rocks were impossible to navigate so they painted surfaces with lichen, i.e. bright yellow patches, to "Lead the player towards the navigatable path," just like every other loving video game ever.
* Is Star Citizen even about anything anymore? Is it just about keeping a bunch of video game designers permanently employed? Next year they're going to be doing sewer levels.
* There will be mining in these caves. FPS mining, in a cave, in the spaceship game.
* Oh my god every segment of this loving video is just about caves. The next segment is about atmosphere and lighting in the caves. gently caress this.
* Did you know that caves are pretty dark?
* They decided to add some bioluminescent plants to make the caves look nicer. Nobody's ever had this thought before.
* OH GOOD NOW WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE SOUNDSCAPE OF THE CAVES
* I can't. I just can't.
* Star Citizen is a complete fraud. Nobody asked for this. Nobody is excited about this. None of the fundamentals of the game work. This should have been a feature for your like, third MMO expansion, after you'd solved everything else. Instead it's the total focus of like half your loving company because you are so god drat incompetent that you literally cannot develop anything but the most basic features that CryEngine already provides to you.
* Then you round those incredibly meagre scraps up and try to fluff them into multiple sixteen-minute videos and it's so transparent that you have nothing, nothing that could even be considered a functional game mechanic. You're just frittering away your time and ours, pissing out money until this whole thing collapses.
* gently caress this show, gently caress Star Citizen, gently caress you for reading this. I'm out.

Never been done before!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YV-gcT9nYyc

# ? Sep 13, 2019 05:41

Rotten Red Rod: Mar 5, 2002

Agony Aunt posted:

Never been done before!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YV-gcT9nYyc

If Ark has stuff like this how come every gameplay video of it is a bunch of malformed muscle men pooping on a beach and being killed by dinosaurs

# ? Sep 13, 2019 05:58

Zaphod42: Sep 13, 2012; If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.

Sarsapariller posted:

* Star Citizen is a complete fraud. Nobody asked for this. Nobody is excited about this. None of the fundamentals of the game work. This should have been a feature for your like, third MMO expansion, after you'd solved everything else. Instead it's the total focus of like half your loving company because you are so god drat incompetent that you literally cannot develop anything but the most basic features that CryEngine already provides to you.

Lmao, yep. And meanwhile Elite Dangerous which is not run by fraud is already on their 3rd expansion.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 06:06

Agony Aunt: Apr 17, 2018; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Rotten Red Rod posted:

If Ark has stuff like this how come every gameplay video of it is a bunch of malformed muscle men pooping on a beach and being killed by dinosaurs

Hey, if you have pooping in a game then you have to do it!

But it really does have stuff like that. Extendable rope ladders, rappels and grapping hooks, climbing claws. Abberation is one of the nicest looking Arks and has some really cool gameplay elements. There are many valid criticisms of Ark, but the design of Abberation level and gameplay i think isn't one of them.

One of my most heart pumping episodes i've ever had in a game was when i took a wrong turn while looking for resources and dropping into a chasm where there were lost of nasty monsters. It was dark, lit mainly by the bioluminescent plants, and creepy crawlies everywhere. I had to leg it past various creatures looking for ways to get back up to the safer areas. I triggered a halucogenic mushroom which sent everything swirling. Lots my direction, ended up going the wrong way. Finally made it out alive due to some climbing and thanks to my grapling hook gun.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 07:10

AbstractNapper: Jun 5, 2011; I can help

Come on Crobbler, you can do better than that.
I want waterfalls and active volcanoes next.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 07:45

commando in tophat: Sep 5, 2019

Zaphod42 posted:

Lmao, yep. And meanwhile Elite Dangerous which is not run by fraud is already on their 3rd expansion.

But does it have space caves? :smuggo:

# ? Sep 13, 2019 08:37

biglads: Feb 21, 2007; I could've gone to Blatherwycke

Hyped for Cave Citizer lemme tell you

# ? Sep 13, 2019 09:00

Bootcha: Nov 13, 2012; Truly, the pinnacle of goaltending; Grimey Drawer

Where is my mind?

# ? Sep 13, 2019 09:05

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Bootcha posted:

Where is my mind?

Holy gently caress this is good.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 09:29

Drunk Theory: Aug 20, 2016; Oven Wrangler

Bootcha posted:

Where is my mind?

I see, all paths lead to whale. There is no escape.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 09:31

Pixelate: Jan 6, 2018; "You win by having fun"

Sarsapariller posted:

Next year they're going to be doing sewer levels.

This will happen. And it will be good.

Dark alleyway gameplay will be just around the corner.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 10:17

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

Bootcha posted:

Where is my mind?

Literally

This, is art.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 11:27

AbstractNapper: Jun 5, 2011; I can help

Bootcha posted:

Where is my mind?

Superb

# ? Sep 13, 2019 13:28

Agony Aunt: Apr 17, 2018; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

iron buns posted:

Launching in 2014,

Anyone else feel OP should periodically add another year to this post to replicate the real Star Citizen feeling?

# ? Sep 13, 2019 13:41

Dogeh: Aug 30, 2017; ShitMeter: -------------|- 99%

commando in tophat posted:

But does it have space caves?

Kinda. It has those Thargoid cave things you can drive your SRV into.

But obviously the Star Citizen space caves are much much better.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 14:06

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

Drunk Theory posted:

I see, all paths lead to whale. There is no escape.

I'm caught in the Blue Lagoon in the lower left.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 14:17

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Bootcha posted:

Where is my mind?

what is a VIP?

# ? Sep 13, 2019 14:47

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

trucutru posted:

what is a VIP?

Well, if you have a waifu, you are in VIP territory.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 15:09

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Bootcha posted:

Where is my mind?

love it

# ? Sep 13, 2019 15:33

Dwesa: Jul 19, 2016

Zaphod42 posted:

Lmao, yep. And meanwhile Elite Dangerous which is not run by fraud is already on their 3rd expansion.

And

made four other games.

Btw, they are mostly self-published and they didn't need to scam their customers.

Dwesa fucked around with this message at 15:42 on Sep 13, 2019

# ? Sep 13, 2019 15:36

Combat Theory: Jul 16, 2017

Mmmhhhh do I smell some hints at a new SCG Episode...

Oh no Bootcha, I see you flew too close to the sun and embrace the roberts development and hype strategy now.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 15:39

TheCoach: Mar 11, 2014

CrazyLoon posted:

sry, but they triggered me with the word 'pledge'

I am feeling the same stupid rush I did back when I first gave money to CIG with this tho...goddamn sexy spae sheeps...

It's alright sir, you can wait a bit and buy it regularly on steam because this game actually exists.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 15:45

Bofast: Feb 21, 2011; Grimey Drawer

Sarsapariller posted:

* They're interviewing the german devs in front of what is clearly a green screen, with a picture of their development office plastered on it. What the gently caress? Did they lose the office?

It wasn't just a picture, but it did look rather weird.

Sarsapariller posted:

* gently caress this show, gently caress Star Citizen, gently caress you for reading this. I'm out.

R u ok, commando? :ohdear:

# ? Sep 13, 2019 16:23

Bubbacub: Apr 17, 2001

CrazyLoon posted:

The true endgame of CIG is spending their millions of pledged, hard-scammed dollars to make massive CGI offices and eventually also people, proving how big their team and studios are still working on this as they slowly run out of money.

And when it finally runs out one day, Crobblers will turn off all the CGI in a massive greenscreen room, walk towards the camera and thank the faithful for allowing him to fulfill his dreams of being a truly avant-garde ~~scam-artist~~ filmmaker.

The subsumption AI is going to be so amazing, they�ll be able to outsource the game programming to NPCs.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 16:34

skeletors_condom: Jul 21, 2017

Will we able to lock up crobo and strangli in one of their fancy cave-prisons?

Does the star citizen law system support crowdfunding fraud?

# ? Sep 13, 2019 16:53

ChaseSP: Mar 25, 2013

Croberts will accidentally create Skynet that will bring upon a nuclear holocaust in order to stop all FUD.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 16:54

Zzr: Oct 6, 2016

Bubbacub posted:

The subsumption AI is going to be so amazing, they�ll be able to outsource the game programming to NPCs.

There is a real risk that the NPCs will choose to terminate themselves instead of having to work on this monstruosity.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 16:55

Dementropy: Aug 23, 2010

MassivelyOP: Inside Star Citizen goes spelunking with a full episode all about patch 3.7�s cave systems

# ? Sep 13, 2019 17:24

Snazzy Frocks: Mar 31, 2003; Scratchmo

ChaseSP posted:

Croberts will accidentally create Skynet that will bring upon a nuclear holocaust in order to stop all FUD.

the only damage a skynet created by this project will do is memory leaking all of the worlds computers to death

# ? Sep 13, 2019 18:08

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

Dementropy posted:

MassivelyOP: Inside Star Citizen goes spelunking with a full episode all about patch 3.7�s cave systems

Low hanging fruit I know, but does this guy even know what the 'shift' key on the keyboard is for?

Seems like the kind of person who wouldn't normally hesitate to use 'caps lock' at any chance, so I wonder why he's so shy about capital letters.

Don't even get me started on him starting a sentance with 'but', or even the lack of commas.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 18:08

Agony Aunt: Apr 17, 2018; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Dementropy posted:

MassivelyOP: Inside Star Citizen goes spelunking with a full episode all about patch 3.7�s cave systems

I think the real question posed by this post is, has Dementropy become a bot?

# ? Sep 13, 2019 18:11

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

The great wheel of Shitsara, according to the backers.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 18:45

monkeytek: Jun 8, 2010; It wasn't an ELE that wiped out the backer funds. It was Tristan Timothy Taylor.

Agony Aunt posted:

I think the real question posed by this post is, has Dementropy become a bot?

Dementropy is actually the Tier 1 iteration of AI Subsumption, Mirificus being Tier 0.

This can all be described in detail by Croberts Magnum Opus "Wavy Hands and You: A coloring adventure book on how to program"

# ? Sep 13, 2019 18:47

Beexoffel: Oct 4, 2015; Herald of the Stimpire

trucutru posted:

The great wheel of Shitsara, according to the backers.

# ? Sep 13, 2019 19:18

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 14:54

Beexoffel: Oct 4, 2015; Herald of the Stimpire

Interview with a Frontier developer of the Elite:Dangerous game engine:
https://forums.frontier.co.uk/threads/meet-the-team-kay-ross.521191/

# ? Sep 13, 2019 19:21

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