Star Citizen: $48,000 is only $334/month for 12 years

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Star Citizen: $48,000 is only $334/month for 12 years

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Royal Mail bringing out a set of stamps to commemorate the UK�s magnificent contribution to the history of video games. Sadly Crobber hasn�t made the cut

https://twitter.com/gamesfreezer/status/1214502504626565121

# ¿ Jan 7, 2020 12:56

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 01:37

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Lesnick�s old bedroom seems to have surfaced in the retro photos in the main �gently caress Lowtax� thread

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3928980&perpage=40&pagenumber=590#post506044453

# ¿ Jun 26, 2020 17:25

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Just been going through some old bookmarks and found this classic video.

If you're a relative newbie to this thread and havent ever seen the time Chris Roberts showed us the magic of Star Citizen, as it repeatedly crashes, borks, and fails in spectacular ways - overlaid with audio of Goons lolling and an excitable Derek Smart screaming about being right - then you are going to love this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DCbvu-uF4o&feature=youtu.be&t=5767

# ¿ Jul 22, 2020 18:06

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Ars weighing in with another article dripping in sarcasm. All very funny but when are one of the big tech sites going to have the balls to call bullshit on this fiasco? What will it take?

https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/07/star-citizen-dev-offers-roadmap-for-development-of-new-development-roadmap/

# ¿ Jul 30, 2020 18:24

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

This citizens lengthy Meltdown as he has a moment of clarity and realises everything Roberts told him was a lie is quite sad to read...

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitize...utm_name=iossmf

# ¿ Aug 2, 2020 07:40

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Inspector Gesicht posted:

Horizon Zero Dawn is out on Steam on Friday. It's a 2020 port of a game that released in 2017, and started full-time development in 2013 after two years-production. The sequel is intended for next year. This post doesn't have anything to do with Star Citizen, but it fascinating to list all the big games nowadays that weren't even green-lit at the time of its kickstarter.

It�s also one of the best AAA games ever released for PlayStation. Stunning graphics, totally original combat model, massive world, and a lengthy, clever and genuinely interesting story. Oh and there was a fantastic second DLC mission released too.

But,eh, enjoy your bartender I guess Citizens

# ¿ Aug 5, 2020 18:29

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Best Bi Geek Squid posted:

A DJ option?
Discussion
July 27th at 9:21 am
Yer... just an idea.... On New Baggage there are 2 dance floors that isn't being used.... they are cool an all, but I think it would be awesome to place a console outside of those rooms. Look at the console and see a slot opening, a certain time of day and possible number of hours of an available slot. "A player" pays a good sum of SC to purchase a ticket. When their day is up, they go there, walk into a subsection where they stand in front of a turn table. The actual player either downloads a separate piece of software or a already known client, (like Teamspeak). The player actually plays his choice of music that can be heard from "within" the game of anyone who is there or passes by the room. So, basically, it would be a perfect option for any DJ's dance emotes and a party yet get together. BTW, depending on how popular it might be, might consider making it bigger. Maybe some tables or benches around the room. Also a walk a round servant where you can talk to them and order drinks and such without having to go to the bar.

The kids have been dancing around to big name DJs in virtual nightclubs in Fortnite for about 3 years now. Checkmate Citizens

# ¿ Aug 9, 2020 07:34

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Combat Theory posted:

#ISANDWITHMANDY

The most memorable thing from star citizen tales was when a hundred goons came together on discord and literally watched the wheels come off the rover. Holy poo poo the laughter. Best SC day ever.

I recently posted a link to the video of that very occasion

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3898069&perpage=40&noseen=1#post506690994

# ¿ Aug 11, 2020 05:40

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

More glorious fidelity here. This is cringingly awful even for Star Citizen. I had games on my ZX Spectrum with better lip sync and facial models than this

https://twitter.com/SubliminaLsChan/status/1302720732720443394

smellmycheese fucked around with this message at 03:48 on Sep 9, 2020

# ¿ Sep 9, 2020 03:46

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Am I missing something here? I thought �scooching� was that thing dogs do when they wipe their rear end on the ground after a particularly hefty poo poo

# ¿ Oct 8, 2020 17:01

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Crobchat is already filling up with Citizens keen for Chris to give them more details on their particular dreams and overwrought theorycrafting..

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/spectrum/community/SC/forum/3/thread/star-citizen-birthday-ama/3433705

# ¿ Oct 9, 2020 17:44

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

TheAgent posted:

this deffo has a "welp, we were a tad overzealous with our earlier kickstarter promises" energy

The fact that the best Maestro Chris Roberts can rustle up to celebrate his baby's 8th birthday is a desultory webchat with some neckbeards about various features he's probably forgotten he ever promised in the first place has an air of doom and tragedy

# ¿ Oct 9, 2020 17:52

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Video is up

https://twitter.com/ChambersArt/status/1314961936447156231

# ¿ Oct 10, 2020 17:53

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

It�s just astonishing how little gameplay they still have to show in these videos. 8 years in and they have nothing, zilch, nada that resembles an actual gameplay sequence from an actual videogame

# ¿ Oct 10, 2020 18:31

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

colonelwest posted:

At the end the camera just pans around the station, a big lifeless art asset full of a maze of cramped corridors that looks like something from a late PS3 era game. There is no gameplay shown, nothing moving, not even a single NPC walking around. This is the big reveal, the big money shot after a year of radio silence, going into year 9 of development and 6 years past the original release date.

It all just looks like Doom 3 to me

# ¿ Oct 10, 2020 18:49

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Dwesa posted:

From election thread:

What primitive aliens?

What Vanduul?

What Terra?

What Synthworld?

Do these people really believe that devs will add Earth or Synthworld based on their votes?

Yes. Yes they do

# ¿ Oct 11, 2020 18:32

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

800peepee51doodoo posted:

Actually been looking at those as well as stuff like that Behringer minimoog knockoff or the Mother 32. I contacted a dude on craigslist about a Korg Monologue which seems pretty ideal for a beginner and when I was looking around at this stuff it seemed like there was one of those sitting at every synth workstation on youtube.

Lol right, dude should listen to his wife and just play Stellaris instead of immiserating himself every single day

While you're deciding you can have some fun with this - released recently,. Browser based 303 and 808!!

https://808303.studio/

# ¿ Oct 13, 2020 18:00

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Best Bi Geek Squid posted:

Organ Harvesting Missions & harvesting tool

October 6th at 8:32 am

Organ Harvesting Missions

I've mentioned this in spectrum chat a few times. you could use the greycat tool in the same way we mine with it, the mechanics are the same, but we could have missions in which you kill a target "x" and use the handy dandy "Roawa Rotary Blade" attachment (I'm open to names) and whala out pops the organs. when they pop like a pinata

Look ethics aside. the mechanics are already in game. so no new coding just repaint and there ya go. The beauty is this could be used on npc animals when trying to extract anything as a mission you can let your imagination go wild with it. I'm not a good story teller so I can't think of any really in depth good story I could make up on the fly right now. and just like Billy Mays would say, "But wait, there's more!" They could be some missions for I dunno crime stat 5 people or how ever you wanna make it where the npc is a kidney match for example and hey go get his nine tails guy and pop a few kidneys. or bone marrow . . don't ask me I'm not a doctor.. . .any way you can now have a smuggling loop. I don't expect you can just transfer a crate of hearts around and not get noticed.

This would be just plain fun and something that would use the existing mechanics similar to the purpose of the Bartender NPC. . . .not to mention would just be plain fun to kill some one then the last thing they see as you just got doen beating them into unconciousness is me firing up the RRB on the Grey cat. It's a whole new way to rub in the win. If nothing else this would be a great way to harvest npc critters.

Jesus loving Christ

# ¿ Oct 13, 2020 19:16

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

cmdrk posted:

I like to imagine an alternate timeline where Chris Roberts heads up development of World of Warcraft at the turn of the century.

After 8 years in alpha, WoW goes beta in 2009.
It uses the Quake 3 Arena engine.
There are no hearthstones. Players have to rent a room at the inn if they want to save their experience points for that session. If you do not have enough money, any experience points are lost when you log out. The client crashes constantly.
Bear asses are physicalized. You'll have to haul them one at a time unless you've paid $300+ for a horse (donkeys can be purchased for 1000 gold) with enough carrying capacity.
Each quest pays 10 silver.
Money is physicalized as well. You become extremely encumbered from silver. Exchanging silver for gold requires a trip to the faction's main city. You can contract a player with a horse to exchange your money for you.
Mounting your horse has an uninterruptable 35 second animation.
There are only humans but vast quantities of lore has been written about elves, dwarves, and orcs.
The Kingdom of Stormwind forces you to pay a weekly tithe or be sent to jail.
The Horde uses a completely different money system and killing things in Kalimdor will not yield silver.
Traveling to the other continent requires several days of the client continuously running. Players warp out of the boat and drown constantly.
Quest pipelines 1.0 are coming online and Ogrimmar will be moved to Kalimdor by Q3 2010. It's currently adjacent to Stormwind.

Flying Mounts are already in the game and cost upwards of 200,000 gold even though you can�t fly anywhere. Meanwhile players gather together in the Goldshire Tavern to marvel at the highly detailed animation of a Gnome pouring a Moonberry Juice

# ¿ Oct 18, 2020 07:50

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

So. After deciding not to bother in the scrum to get a PS5 I�ve finally decided to join the PC Master Race and get into PC Gaming. My shiny new Ryzen 7 box arrives tomorrow. This means, of course, that I could actually finally play Star Citizen if I want - rather than just lolling at it from the sidelines. The question is - is it worth polluting my nice new machine with Christopher Roberts shitcode in order to do so?

# ¿ Oct 18, 2020 17:52

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Well friends - today�s the day. It�s Free Fly time and so, over five years since first discovering this shitshow and chuckling at it from the sidelines, I am going to despoil my lovely new �1500 PC and download Christopher Roberts shitcode and finally see it for myself.

# ¿ Nov 20, 2020 05:36

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Popete posted:

Any brave souls who are gonna try out SC for the first time, I have a challenge for you.

Try to make it to the Ship Show on Microtech and time how long it takes you from wankpod to show floor. I'm curious how difficult this will be for a new player with no outside assistance. Time yourself and keep track of how many times you get disconnected from server or die because you walked up some stairs.

Challenge accepted!

# ¿ Nov 20, 2020 06:01

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Arse. Croberts is making us keen new UK recruits to the �verse wait until 10pm until we can jump into our free JPegs

# ¿ Nov 20, 2020 12:20

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Space Jeremy Clarkson epitomises Christopher Croberts artistic vision

# ¿ Nov 20, 2020 18:27

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Colostomy Bag posted:

I was stressing out what to get the better half for Christmas. I knew a jpeg wouldn't cut it.

Then I found this bargain.
https://robertsspaceindustries.com/pledge/MicroTECH-Holiday-Sweater/S

Quite a steal and only $10 for shipping.

Everything you need for Xmas ...

# ¿ Nov 20, 2020 22:40

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

The Titanic posted:

So I was hoping for more trip reports from people having tons of fun. I'll guess you guys are too immersed and haven't time to post.

OK so here�s my report so far on my brand new Ryzen 7 /2070 rig. Had my AMD monitoring software running on the other screen and immediately upon launch the CPU meter went straight into bouncing between the yellow and red zones. Frame rate was around 30. Couldn�t work out how to get out of bed. When I did the character fell straight on the floor and it took me a while to work out how to stand up. Was pleased to see 900 years in the future in space I still have a mixer tap sink, kitchen roll and a pot scrubber handy.

Having seen many videos on here of the next bit I got through the wankpod/ lift/ elevator panel tedium quite easily and found myself in the legendary lobby of T poses. It was actually quite an awesome moment being there for myself, the weird emptiness and dead eyed stares of the NPC as they earnestly stand on their chairs has a haunting quality.

Luckily Chris Roberts has placed signs guiding you to the expo so I pressed on, past more lifeless NPCs frozen on the stairs down to the subway. On arriving in the expo entrance I was delighted to see my first proper bug as the top half of an NPC bounced furiously through the floor.

Went to the expo, looked at some ships. Got inside a Gladius I think? The JPEGs do, as everyone says, look quite impressive although Croberts obsession with putting kitchen/diners and toilets inside heavily armed gunships is truly bizarre.

Went to get a coffee from the kiosk hoping for some of the exciting subsumption bartender AI to kick in but the lady Barista just stared through me and kept repeating the same 3 stock phrases over and over again.

All in all - it�s just WEIRD. The creepy, empty, lifeless feel of everything is almost atmospheric if you were playing a Westworld style game about the day humanity was replaced by dead eyed automatons. The NPCs look and act like youre in a Second Life instance from 2002 and everyone�s gone AFK

Bit more time today so will attempt to fly a ship. The keyboard bindings screen is also hilariously bad - why make it so you can�t read anything on the screen until you magnify it with your mouse? Bizarre

smellmycheese fucked around with this message at 06:54 on Nov 22, 2020

# ¿ Nov 22, 2020 06:45

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

New Jax McCleary video just dropped ...

https://twitter.com/HarryEnfield6/status/1330434130044219393/video/1

# ¿ Nov 22, 2020 10:07

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Sarsapariller posted:

That's right, there are now insane MMT-theory buying guides for Star Citizen based on the firm knowledge that ship prices only ever increase.

Stick that in your loving pipe and smoke it, haters

Why Croberts hasn�t launched a cryptocurrency is beyond me. These Neckbeards would eat it up

# ¿ Nov 24, 2020 11:04

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Rotten Red Rod posted:

I was gonna do another stream of playing the SC free fly where I try to fly a ship... But I don't really want to. Can someone post an uninstall guide so I can be sure I get every trace of it off my system?

Echoing this. I�ve seen enough. How do I get rid of this poo poo?

# ¿ Nov 25, 2020 23:21

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Beet Wagon posted:

When I first read it I immediately thought the "accessibility" line referred to how it used to be impossible to actually get in Origin ships with a box or whatever, but now I realize they just meant "cheaper" lol

As a noob to playing in the exciting space world visions of Christopher Croberts this stumped me last week. I got as far as the landing pads and ordered up a 300(?!??) I think. I then spent a good 10 minutes waking around the loving thing clicking on any and every surface to try to get in and the only thing I could find that was clickable was this dumb loving box on the side. I suppose I could have googled for the answer to how to do something as obtuse, obscure and arcane as actually getting into your spaceship in a goddamn space shooty game but frankly I couldn�t be arsed and just logged out.

# ¿ Nov 28, 2020 05:51

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Jonny Shiloh posted:

At the funeral...
Jeremy Clarkson (for it is he, delivering the oration) *slaps coffin lid* "In truth, he wasn't an annoying idiot - he was the annoying idiot... in a 'Verse full of annoying idiots he was the one annoying idiot who stood head and shoulders above all the other annoying idiots"
Richard Hammond *spins in grave*
James May *builds toy Spitfire, whistles*
BBC Worldwide "Ah hello, is that Christopher Winston Eubank Roberts? Now look here Mr Roberts, can we have a word about your passing off this Jax charact - oh, sorry, yes, we see, of course Herr Freyermuth, completely understand, sorry to have bothered you"
Ortwin Freyermuth *rises from sepulchre*
The end.

Worth remembering that this fiasco has now dragged on so long that not only has Clarkson left Top Gear and the BBC, he has also wound up his subsequent Amazon programme where he masturbates over fast cars, and now lives a quiet life on a farm while occasionally presenting Who Wants to be a Millionaire.

# ¿ Nov 28, 2020 06:00

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Just went to look at the hot tubs on the gigantic whale yacht that Croberts has on show in his expo today. Got inside the ship and immediately fell through the scenery into a nightmarish hell world. GOTY

# ¿ Nov 29, 2020 14:44

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

sebmojo posted:

If anyone hasn't done it, I strongly recommend playing it at a free fly. It's just astonishingly broken and tedious.

Can confirm. Over 5 years chuckling at this poo poo here and got to try it for real for the first time over the last two weeks. It�s phenomenally lovely in all respects.

# ¿ Nov 30, 2020 21:06

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

I have to say Chris Roberts = Antoni Gaudi was the dumb as gently caress hot take on this shitfest I didn�t know I was missing

# ¿ Dec 2, 2020 12:32

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Got round to hooking my Quest 2 I got for Xmas up to my PC and tried out Star Wars Squadrons. Just astonishing stuff.

Seriously - if what you want from vidya is flying around in space shooting things in a realistic manner why on Earth would you be waiting around for Christopher Croberts to get round to fixing the lifts in New Babbage and stop his coffee shop workers T-Posing when you can literally be sitting in your own hyper realistic virtual X wing ?

# ¿ Jan 22, 2021 00:09

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Sarsapariller posted:

It's like a perfect microcosm of the CIG development method.

Other games: background NPC's are props and we dress them in just enough detail that they look good at a short glance

CIG first: "The bartender will be angry today because he got stopped by police on his way to work, which we simulate, and he will show you this through different words and actions for every emotional state! This will take thousands of man hours to create, not be noticeably different from the standard result, and actively get in the way of the player who just wants to refill his thirst meter or whatever!"

CIG later: "Well it took 8 years but here's the bartender! He very slowly makes drinks, and remembers what you order, sometimes! What? Emotional states? Who said anything about that? This is just tier zero. No, it doesn't apply to any other NPC in the game- we said bartender, very specifically in our original pitch. You must have misinterpreted that to mean ALL the npc's! We just spent 8 years on this one guy, for no real reason, and now he's done but not really so stop asking questions, we're not working on him anymore unless you dislike it in which case we are secretly still working on him.'

You missed out:

Currently playable: NPC stands locked in place motionless at coffee stand that looks straight out of Second Life circa 2002. Stares straight ahead and repeatedly shouts one of three stock phrases at you regardless of what you do.

# ¿ Jan 27, 2021 06:20

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

They�re really going all in on making that one guy who sits in a bar wearing too many jackets a cornerstone of the entire experience aren�t they?

# ¿ Feb 13, 2021 19:37

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

I too look forward to our glorious techno future where we load up our jacuzzi equipped space chariots with everything we need for our adventure by hand, one box at a time, from a shopping trolley.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2021 00:12

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

I dunno man. If we�re now at the point where TechBros are trying to leverage money by selling tweets then maybe Crobber and his JPEGs was just ahead of his time.

https://twitter.com/jack/status/1367990471759306752

# ¿ Mar 6, 2021 02:57

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 01:37

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Game performing as expected

The guy is now having a huge meltdown because none of his Joysticks work lol

# ¿ Mar 7, 2021 06:14

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