Sub-Actuality posted:

lmao at Amorous Bertildou and Barry the Shed Predator

FactsAreUseless posted:

Sub-Actuality posted:

I dreamt that the PC release of Red Dead 2 ended up having extremely long loading screens, which were masked by a mini game where you moved an 8-bit Arthur around with the mouse and clicked on barrels to earn “corn points”, which were the new RDR Online currency for the PC version. This format became the industry standard, and loading times in all future games were forever referred to as “corn time” and had corn-related mini games

American McGay posted:

Barrelling my retarded physics oaf through the woods to earn glitched corn points

Arrhythmia posted:

The prophecy came true

sockpuppetclock posted:

Your wife is the Tf2 heavy

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Last night I had a dream that I was at a big family gathering at a restaurant and I went out to my car which was parked across the street for something. Some rich dude in a Porsche slammed into the back of my car so I got out and started screaming at him. Jon Taffer from Bar Rescue came out of nowhere and helped me yell at the guy. The rich rear end in a top hat said I wasn't supposed to be parked there which wasn't true, and then wrote me a check for $1000.

I tried to get back to the restaurant but I looked around and I was in a weird village with a bunch of run down houses. Somehow I knew I was in a survival horror game and this was like a boss rush section. Each of the houses had a different boss from earlier in the game but this time I had my girlfriend as a co-op partner to make the fights easier. The first fight was a chainsaw-wielding maniac in the basement who I cheesed by attacking him and then jumping out the window to refill my health (there was a save point that would refill your health at the entrance to the village). I don't remember the second boss but the third was like the Ramon Salazar boss fight from RE4. We made short work of the bosses and then found we were back at the restaurant again.

I went back inside and decided to check the forums on my phone. I went into Imp Zone and saw that it was filled with hundreds of banme threads full of some really sick NSFW stuff. I shook my head at the state of the forums and then I woke up.

Arrhythmia posted:

I was playing Deadly Premonition 2, and I had gotten to the big twist that the Laura Palmer character murdered herself. It was terribly important that she didn't commit suicide, but was in fact a self-murderer. At this point the game was a big bundle of sidequests to help people around the town, but I decided that I was kind of bored with it so I just went to the main quest. I confronted the slimy bloody ghost of Laura Palmer. The fight was a big series of quicktime events, but because I hadn't done enough sidequests, York's friendship meter was super low which meant all the quicktime inputs were insane bullshit like:

(down analog stick) X X Y (three analog stick rotations) (type in MAR on your keyboard)

Except it stretched all the way across the screen. I did two of these before getting fed up, making me wake up.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

I dreamed I was playing FF7 Remake and was wondering why Cloud spoke the way he did. He had remained silent for most of the first area other than some weird combat grunts and threats. Only then did it come back to me that I had voiced Cloud as a bet, and the developers loved my take on the character so much that they made it the final version of his voice.

The problem was that I'd never played FF7 and only skimmed the script, and because it was a bet I had decided to give him a completely deranged over-the-top Scots-Irish accent (I am Scottish and do have a strong Glasgow accent, and I have in fact never played FF7). The result was that it was terribly out-of-place and frankly alarming.

I played through a lot of "highlights" and memorable moments from the game, most of which were completely imaginary, but I do remember when Sephiroth kills Aeris the me-Cloud screamed at him "MOAN THEN YE oval office, AH'M GONNAE FUCKIN CHIB YE, GONNAE GET THIS BIG BLACK BASTIRT TAE HOLD YE DOON AND SMASH YER FUCKIN KNEECAPS IN, SEE WHIT YE FUCKIN GIT WHEN YE TOUCH MAH BURD" and one of my main battle victory soundbites was chanting "OOH AHH UP THE RA". When he first meets Tifa he began saying things like "OOH HEN THOSE ARE SOME FUCKIN CHEBS ON YE, CANNAE WAIT TAE GET MA FACE INTAE THOSE HEFTY JUGS, GEEZ A FUCKIN BOUNCE HEN"

At one point the party met some Tonberries and me-Cloud decided they were leprechauns and went full Irish, cackling about pots of gold and roaming through the sunny fields of Kilronan. I do not do a good Irish accent.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

SEE WHIT YE FUCKIN GIT WHEN YE TOUCH MAH BURD

Kongming posted:

Had a dream where I was watching a Law and Order type show on TV and Tekken commentator Markman was a special guest where he played the villain. The episode ended with him being sucked into a jet intake during a chase scene at an airport.

JOHN CENA posted:

goldmine

trying to jack off posted:

i dreamed about reading an old book with illustrated diagrams of dance moves. one move was labelled moving the goalposts and i woke up laughing

net cafe scandal posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jce4x0ykHOE

Wormskull posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EZOjFbhjhU

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Man of Constant Bugsnax

Bicyclops posted:

had a dream I was playing Hyrule Warriors with the wife next to me on the couch when she suddenly started crying. I asked what was wrong and she said it was the 20th anniversary of the death of Jerry Orbach. even in the dream, that seemed like a weird thing to cry about, but I said "oh, sorry."

"don't take that tone with me," she said. "this isn't a postpartum thing, Twitter is devastated about this." she started reading me some of the tributes. the MST3K people were riffing Dirty Dancing, there was a star studded concert performing songs from Beauty and the Beast, and someone had some million tweet thread about how Law and Order demonstrated progressive values. Ben and Jerry's named an ice cream Cherry Orbach.

it turns out this was a big thing because Seinfeld had always wanted an ice cream named Cherry Seinfeld. he went on a huge rant about how dirty dancing sucks and it had been 20 years, "enough already with the Orbach!" Netflix pulled a stand up special they were doing with him based on his remarks.

all of a sudden, dramatic music started playing in Hyrule Warriors and Lumiere appeared and took the keep I was working on for my side, and winked at me. "Oh, come on!" I said.

"what, is it too much, Seinfeld?" said my wife.

I got really angry at being compared to Jerry Seinfeld and activated my special meter, but on me instead of the game. it made me run around really fast, so I was dashing around yelling really rapidly like those scenes in an anime where a character gets really tiny. I stomped around the house yipping and rapidly stomping about how unfair it was to be compared to a creeper who picks up teenagers and does washed up stand up about how he hates his wife, who can't even sit politely long enough for a cup of coffee with a single comedian.

the whole thing was so silly that I started to find it funny, and my wife laughed, and we stopped fighting. I was about to look at Lumiere's combos when I woke up.

Pablo Nergigante posted:

That describes Nier Automata exactly

EmmyOk posted:

Dreamt I lost my right arm in a freak buzzsaw accident when reading the latest chapter of One Piece. Posted on the Imp Zone asking if there were any good controllers for disabled gamers and everyone just kept responding "why not use the one you always use lol" for pages.

Lobster Harmonica posted:

Dreamt last night that I was going through an old box of PC games from like 2003 and found an unopened cup of "shrimp salad" instant ramen. I peeled back the top just to get a good look at how nasty it was and it activated some feature of the cup that used a chemical reaction to heat them up on the spot

I then convinced myself I would be an rear end in a top hat by wasting food if I didn't at least try and eat some of them, so I took a bite and it was the most rancid poo poo ever. The next 15-20 minutes of the dream were just me trying to spit out this rotten hell garbage but it was impossible to spit them out cause they kept coming like one of those clown joke handkerchiefs

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

I had a dream I was moving paintings from my parents' house and remembered that I had a life sized 7' painting of Drizzt from Baldur's Gate 2 from when I went through my Baldur's Gate obsessive phase (I did not have this phase). I was so embarassed for him my dad to see it that I hurriedly downloaded and printed out a photo of a big juicy rear end and pasted it over Drizzt's face, telling my dad that the painting was of "rear end man", a popular parody character from Discworld.

My dad was really annoyed and was like "I don't know who rear end man is, that looks terrible, you scraped it all down my car while gluing the rear end to his face, what is wrong with you" so I panicked and pasted the big rear end over Drizzt's crotch instead, saying proudly "actually it's backwards rear end man, the man with his rear end on backwards" so my dad ran me over with his car.

Bicyclops posted:

i was just thinking of this thread, because last night i dreamed i discovered that i had telekinesis, and also a "third eye" that let me look at other rooms in my apartment. i was excited to surprise my wife by showing her my newfound abilities and i was playing mario sunshine, in one of the secret levels where they steal FLUDD, when the baby started to cry. my wife asked if i could take him, because she was grading. "no worries," i said. "watch this!" i kept playing mario, but i floated my son out of the room, onto his changing pad, and changed his diaper, all with my powers. then i floated him back while simultaneously floating a bottle over to the sink and getting it prepped for him. i floated him back into the living room, and he had a big smile, enjoying floating around the house, and then floated the bottle over to his mouth. i looked over at my wife expecting her to be impressed, but she hadn't looked up at all. "boy, you're really bombing this mario level. did you change the baby?" she said, and i looked at the TV and realized that while I was focusing on using my powers and looking in different rooms, i had just walked mario into a bottomless pit over and over again, just holding the control stick to the left, and i had a game over. it was one of those secret levels that was really hard to get to, so i started yelling about "loving useless telekinesis!" so loudly that the baby started crying and it woke up my toddler. i woke up because the toddler was, in fact, actually awake, because it was morning. after i get all 120 shines, i am never playing super mario sunshine again in my life.

GorfZaplen posted:

There's a vaccine, the XBox is huge, and the Playstation has no games. Everything is right with the world again. Thank you, Bicyclops

Sub-Actuality posted:

dreamed I was taking a philosophy class & the professor said the final exam was going to be beating the shareware episode of Doom on nightmare difficulty without attacking anything or touching any powerups. The students started to protest that it was impossible, and he got really angry and yelled “this was how Immanuel Kant played Doom!!” and I woke up.

Meyers-Briggs Testicle posted:

had a dream I was watching e3 and sony had a surprise announcement at the end. adam boyes walks back out and explains that even he didn't know about it until now. he pulls a small orange out of his pocket and starts peeling and eating it while the video plays. the vignette begins with doom eternal and rolls backwards through id's games until it comes to commander keen, then a voiceover says "it's been almost 30 years since the cliffhanger at the end of commander keen 5". the footage cuts to one of those automatic mario world levels where you press right and it plays itself. the blocks spell out "We have not secured the rights from Tom Hall" and the video ends with mario dying and the words "Too Bad" from sunshine appear on screen and grow larger until the video ends. adam isn't on stage anymore and the presentation is over

Wes Warhammer posted:

had a dream that i was playing a devil may cry game that had a level set in a shopping mall. there was this new character who had been billed as the "strongest girl since lady!!!" only for her to fall down some stairs and die 5 minutes into this level

Meyers-Briggs Testicle posted:

Had a dream 007 was acquired by disney and was put into kingdoms hearts 4. You have to rescue bond from goldfinger and the giant crab from moana but your only ally is chip the teacup from beauty and the beast. He hangs from your belt buckle and yells a recycled voice clip "watch out! I'm fragile" every time an enemy swings at you for the whole level

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Last night I dreamed I was walking on the side of a highway and my walk cycle glitched out, I ended up sliding along the ground on my stomach with my arms and legs twisted in the air above me. The first thing I thought was “as a gamer, I accept this”

albany academy posted:

dont really remember a whole lot of it but i was in a fallout: new vegas type map and at a quarry, accepted a quest from a mining company, opened my objectives and its just a huge list of fetch quests, "collect 10 small rocks", "collect 5 larger rocks" with little icons for each type of rock. i think i woke up right after scrolling through and seeing the list keep going and that the little scrollbar barely moved

Arrhythmia posted:

"I want you to find my successor"