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Thank you for choosing Crazy Table Deliveries! Our reliable and relatable staff strives for the highest quality service and customer support. We are pleased to see that you choose the "four stuntman skydiving out of a cargo plane" method of delivery. Thanks again for choosing Crazy Table Deliveries, and we hope you recommend some of our other premium table deliveries to a friend or a future table order, such as our "sliding on an upside-down table down the side of an active volcano and kick flipping to the destination"! |
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Sep 15, 2019 14:41
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hello, yes i am sorry you were dissatisfied with "mole men bursting thru the floor of your bungalo to deliver a table" but if you had read the fine print you would have noticed that pet fatalities are your not under our purview. you know the date, you know the time, and you know the long/lat where our molemen were going to burst through the ground. it is your fault you let your ocelot out to wander the house, and not our responsibility it fell into the molemans underground tunnel system and is now lost.
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Sep 15, 2019 17:49
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Could you send five actual schizophrenics who are off their meds, with the wrong table that doesn't have enough parts? It's for, um, reasons. Thanks! |
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Sep 15, 2019 20:07
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We're so crazy we sent your table pre-assembled even though you didn't pay for assembly. Please disassemble the table and put it back together again yourself if you wish to avoid an upcharge on your invoice. |
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Sep 16, 2019 03:13
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we've lost our drat minds. to your doorstep: a single severed table leg. if you want to see the rest of your table, you will make a delivery of your own: 500 Euro in unmarked bills, next to pump #4 at the Quik Trip
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Sep 16, 2019 03:52
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No, we don't deliver crazy tables, actually we don't deliver tables at all, rather we select the manner in which our deliveries and customer support are crazy using this craziness lookup table, and rolling a D20. No sir, the D20 is not crazy. Yes sir, I do understand how the name could be confusing, and I apologize for that. [quiet clattering sound] Actually I don't apologize, you apologize. |
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Sep 16, 2019 06:16
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I'm going to deliver a table to ya alright, bub! Deliver it right into your ugly face before I lay you down on top of it and break your rear end right through it with a devastating flying elbow! |
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Sep 16, 2019 07:36
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frisbee style |
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Sep 16, 2019 12:36
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:Centrifuge https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Sep 16, 2019 18:11
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yeah you ordered a crazy table and u are mad it's actually a chair? get on our level normie.
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Sep 16, 2019 18:19
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So, we've got a baby stuck here - it was recommended I came over here to have it delivered - I don't care what the cost will be - I usually get my rear end kicked and pay for it anyways.
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Sep 16, 2019 18:49
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<3 
<3 Vanisher
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Uxzuigal posted:So, we've got a baby stuck here - it was recommended I came over here to have it delivered - I don't care what the cost will be - I usually get my rear end kicked and pay for it anyways. babies are not stable surfaces to place a glass of beer on ok
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Sep 16, 2019 18:50
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Heather Papps posted:babies are not stable surfaces to place a glass of beer on ok IT IS IF HIS NAME IS MATT (sorry for caps lock I wasn't yelling) https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Sep 16, 2019 19:02
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we've sent over my dad and he's already had 2 beers and ditched his shirt on th eway over thank you for ordering the mega swears bundle
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Sep 16, 2019 19:26
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i ordered a table and a clown just broke into my house and beat the poo poo out of my dog
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Sep 16, 2019 19:34
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As a thank you for ordering your third table in a month from us, we will deliver four hundred tables to you, for free! No shipping is required, and they will be delivered by our proprietary delivery system of "a dozen goods vehicles roll up in front of your residence as carnival strongmen wearing tutus hurl the heavy goods in a vague direction towards you until they physically pass out" as proof of you being a loyal customer! Thank you for shopping at Crazy Table Deliveries, and we hope to do business with you again in the near future! ---------------- |
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Sep 16, 2019 19:41
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yeah motherfucker this is crazy table deliveries and i don't give one gently caress that you "didn't order a table" take it, just stop arguing and let me deliver this dang ol brobdingnagian table
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Sep 16, 2019 19:45
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The following story is true. I play D&D and a friend of mine, a Dwarven Artificer used a bunch of special mithril to make a sturdy metal table that he could use to store stuff in. He wanted it to be a sort of Bag of Holding but he also wanted it to have a filing system that made it easy to open up a drawer and pluck out the thing he wanted without having to search for it. He didn't ask for a sentient table. He didn't ask for a table that could teleport without error. He didn't ask for a table that could freaking WALK. He didn't ask for a table that had the ability to transcend dimensions, space, and time- Dimension Walk, or act as Mordenkainen's Sanctuary. But when you are a Dwarven Artificer with access to a high level magic user that can cast Wish spells and Permanency spells, and the Dwarf rolls triple 20s, and the magic user rolls double twenties, and the Dwarf follows up said trip 20s with a 100% and the magic user rolls a 99%, that's what you get. Flash forward to the next campaign. The party is in a bind, things are looking grim, and a loud clatter! clatter! clatter! happens as a table eagerly and hastily shows up, opens up it's lid, everyone jumps inside and they get the hell out of one of the various planes of Hell. This was in fact a crazy table delivery. Thank you, and good night! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Sep 17, 2019 00:30
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Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:The following story is true. wonderful
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Sep 17, 2019 00:45
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FutonForensic posted:we've lost our drat minds. to your doorstep: a single severed table leg. if you want to see the rest of your table, you will make a delivery of your own: 500 Euro in unmarked bills, next to pump #4 at the Quik Trip
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Sep 17, 2019 01:31
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Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:The following story is true.
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Sep 17, 2019 03:48
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its time to make some craaaaazy money
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Sep 17, 2019 07:15
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Laying on the floor, eating food straight off the ground like a savage, giving my table the stink eye and teaching it a lesson about how I can do things on my own and don't need its help.
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Sep 18, 2019 01:29
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Heather Papps posted:i ordered a table and a clown just broke into my house and beat the poo poo out of my dog
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Sep 19, 2019 05:51
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