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And we're back! October baseball has returned everyone and it's time to put our money where our shitposts are. For those of you who don't know, we've got a tradition around here of making stupid conditional bets based around postseason games, often involving giving to charity. Think of it like gambling on the games except that society wins rather than you. Assuming you ever really win. Why do we do this? It's a way of having a stake in the postseason games even if your team isn't involved Cubs fans. The past 3 years my team's been out of it and having various Toxx bets on the line added another incentive to pay attention to every game. My favorite postseason Toxx remains the charity bets. Over the past few years MLB goons have raised thousands of dollars each year for good causes while cheering for various outcomes. Major league baseball has a proud tradition of emphasizing doing good while playing well. Even if our posts are bad, our intentions can be good. With that in mind, the Toxx thread isn't only for fundraising. You can Toxx for avatar changes, forum upgrade bets or just go hog wild like forums superstar Intruder and eat the bananas. Eat the bananas, people. Do it.  Non-Charity Toxxes This space reserved for any and all non-charity Toxx bets. If the Cardinals win the World Series Kevlar v2.0 will eat an entire Imo's pizza.  The square beyond compare! Charity Section As always, a moment to reflect on one of the greatest of all time:  Recurring Toxxes This space reserved for recurring charity-related Toxx bets. An example from last year was $1 by Kevlar for every Daniel Murphy total base in the postseason to the Center on Halstead. Giving money to a good cause out of spite for a player's terrible behavior is something I encourage. Big Mean Jerk: $2 to RAINN for every Roberto Osuna strikeout. $8 through 10/10/2019. Big Mean Jerk: $5 to No Kid Hungry for every Verlander or Cole start with 9 or more strikeouts. $10 through 10/10/2019 because Gerrit Cole isn't human. Big Mean Jerk: $1 to The Sunshine Kids for every Astros home run. $6 through 10/10/2019. Big Mean Jerk: $5 to The Sunshine Kids for every Astros grand slam. $0 through 10/10/2019. elentar: $1 to RAINN for every Atlanta Braves win. $2 total. HOTLANTA MAN: $50 to the ACLU as an estimate of $1 for every time the Chop was aired on TV. Pancakes: $25 to Fundacion4 for every Cardinals win. $75 through 10/10/2019. Pancakes: $25 to Big League Impact for every Cardinals win. $75 through 10/10/2019. Pancakes: $25 to Chicago English Bulldog Rescue ($50 minimum) for every Nationals win. $100 through 10/10/2019. Pancakes: $25 to the National Keratoconus Foundation ($25 minimum) for every Rays win. $75 total. Pancakes: $25 to RAINN for every Yankees win. $75 through 10/10/2019. Pancakes: $10 to the National Eating Disorders Association for every home run by a DH. $30 through 10/10/2019. President Peanut: $1 to RAINN for every Atlanta Braves win. $2 total. Sydin: $25 to Shelter Inc. ($25 minimum) for every A's win. One-Shot Toxxes This space reserved for one-off charity-related Toxx bets. An example from last year was $25 to RAINN by iospace when the Brewers won the NL Central. Big Mean Jerk: $15 to RAINN if the Astros win the ALDS. Big Mean Jerk: $20 to RAINN if the Astros win the ALCS. Big Mean Jerk: $25 to RAINN if the Astros win the World Series. Intruder: $100 to RAINN if the Astros win the World Series. Intruder: $100 to a charity decided by the fan of any non-Yankees team other than the Astros that wins the World Series. iospace: $25 to the Milwaukee Bike Collective if the Brewers clinch a playoff spot. Pancakes: $100 to the Cherokee Nation Foundation if the Cardinals win the NLDS. Competition! If you want to get really competitive up in here, post your preferred team next to your charity Toxx. I'll keep a running total in this space of what each team's poster has pledged. In years past the Cubs posters have led the field both as a function of how many Cubsposters we have as well as the fact that they were actually playing in October. Will this year make a difference? Let's find out!  Updated through the end of the Divisional series as of 10/11/2019. I've bolded any pledges that have completed and struck out any pledges that fizzled. Pancakes fucked around with this message at 23:54 on Oct 11, 2019 |
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Oct 2, 2019 00:46
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 13:42 |
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I'll get the bets started. Credit all donations to the Cardinals: I love my team. Make me bleed and win some games you jerks:  For every Cardinals win I will donate $25 to Fundacion4, the charity of reigning Clemente Award winner Yadier Molina.For every Cardinals win I will donate $25 to Big League Impact, the charity of the Cardinals' current Clemente Award nominee, Adam Wainwright. Max Scherzer does a lot of good for animals. I love my rescue dog. Just look at her:  For every Nationals win I will donate $25 to Chicago English Bulldog Rescue with a $50 minimum, in case the Nats continue to suck rear end in October. Tommy Pham is awesome and a professional ballplayer despite having a degenerative eye condition. For every Rays win I will donate $25 to the National Keratoconus Foundation with a $25 minimum.Aroldis Chapman is a domestic-abusing piece of poo poo who shouldn't be allowed to play baseball. For every Yankees win I will donate $25 to RAINN. I haven't been exactly shy about my history with eating disorders. For every home run by a designated hitter in October I will donate $10 to the National Eating Disorders Association.
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Oct 2, 2019 01:02
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OP updated with every serious one I could see. I have absolutely no idea how to tabulate Hotlanta Man's pledge and honestly, I'm not going to go back and meticulously listen for the Chop on each broadcast to even try.
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Oct 4, 2019 03:32
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I'll update the OP with results after the divisional round ends but for now, if the Cardinals win the NLDS I will donate $100 to the Cherokee Nation Foundation because gently caress the Chop.
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Oct 8, 2019 02:49
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Updated the OP through the beginning of each league's LCS.
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Oct 11, 2019 23:54
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I owed a lot of money: $300 to CEBR, $125 to RAINN, $75 to UC Irvine (the eye one for the Rays because of Tommy Pham), $75 to Big League Impact, $75 to Fundacion 4 and $40 to NEDA.       Total of $690.
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Nov 1, 2019 02:08
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 13:42 |
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I completely forgot that I also owed $100 to the Cherokee Nation Foundation because the Cards won the NLDS. gently caress the Chop.
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Nov 3, 2019 19:18
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