|
Look at all these marks getting worked by an injury angle.
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2020 01:11
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 18:32 |
|
|
Cerebral Bore posted:Look at all these marks getting worked by an injury angle. Better phone up Triple C and ask him if the Emerald Impaler is okay.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2020 01:14
|
|
|
gonadic io posted:Better phone up Triple C and ask him if the Emerald Impaler is okay. Man, I bet it was Triple C who set Impaler up and this is gonna lead to a heel turn at Clownamania.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2020 01:17
|
|
|
Impaler just needed an excuse to get out of the fights and make a couple of action movies.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2020 02:23
|
|
|
A clown that eats souls, you say?Speleothing posted:Impaler just needed an excuse to get out of the fights and make a couple of action movies. yeah, he got like a million movie deals after President Ark fucked around with this message at 00:40 on Feb 14, 2020 |
|
#
?
Feb 14, 2020 00:20
|
|
|
Ramc posted:Pinned discord images has you covered it seems yesss
|
|
#
?
Feb 14, 2020 01:07
|
|
|
No! No Dark Clowning! Stop that!
|
|
#
?
Feb 14, 2020 01:55
|
|
|
I mean eating souls is suspiciously close to the final branch of clowning, that which we don't name.
|
|
#
?
Feb 14, 2020 02:04
|
|
|
Turn 32 First up we push the mantis force off of the Karnaaac fort. It's fairly uneventful (arcane bolt, lightning bolt, comically enormous boots) except that we only have half the clowns that I was expecting to be there. Once again all the troops that were being commanded by a now-dead commander (in this case the Emerald Impaler himself) were accidentally left behind. I have really got to stop doing it! In this case it wasn't too much of a big deal even though 3 enormous clowns is a bit higher of a loss than I would like.  On the candle network our new reinforcements come in and re-secure the connection between mantis lands and ours. The mantises seem to be mostly out of the big ones, either that or the AI has decided that the tiny ones are a better buy (they are not). Pongy, having left behind the site searching business, still manages to do very little although he casts Divine Blessing and when we need it will be able to cast Storm (and has the gems to do so).  One more battle this turn, in the mostly undefended Karanaac itself. Oh dear, I guess the mantises must have had one more big flying thug left that they flew over like 3 provinces again--wait what?  Uh, this I was not expecting. The rocks only have 4 provinces total but all (recruitable) rocks are priests so I guess it makes sense that they'd have a bunch of holy levels sitting around. Burning Man is crippled and has lost a point of fire magic but beats 1 point of PD very easily. Urgh fine we'll go kill him. Again. This will just keep happening unless we do actually kill off the rocks and they've got a bunch of temples so praying them down isn't going to be easy either.  With Pongy called off to war, site searching has been left to Danu the Armless Woman and Coco the First Clown. Danu finds a death site that comes with a free skeleton (she immediately summons 4 of her own to kill it).   Coco finds absolutely the best site we've seen so fair, just 2 provinces away from Kirkostaculis. 2 air AND 1 earth is great I love it.  He is going to continue doing a better job than Pongy, and then we also go to kill that force of Chasos indies that have been sitting happy for about 10 turns now.  Anglia did actually move all their forces out of the province they said they'd give us so Danu is going to try and pick it up. We also move a bunch of forces to secure the throne on that side, a level 1 fort with no troops would last no more than 1 turn against that massive Anglian force down there.  We continue to take mantis cave land, I want that throne!  With our big force we'll just storm the mantis fort. I'm a bit concerned because there's a 100-strong mantis force somewhere we lost track of, and then also a 70-strong one down here. However we broke this fort reasonably quickly so I'm assuming they're not in here. Oh well, nothing that can't be solved by an overwhelming application of clowns and it's not like trying to peel rocks out of forts.  Speaking of, in Pretender's Folly I don't want to try and storm it with half our clowns missing and I'm not worried about rocks trying to break siege so most of the forces continue south while Nougat the First Clown heads back to pick up the Emerald Impaler's forces. The defenders of that fort have had about 5 different armies go back and forth over their heads at this point.  The last of the recruitable troops, Knife Throwers, are pretty good! They have a longer range than jugglers do and piercing damage has bonus armour penetration. 
gonadic io fucked around with this message at 15:46 on Nov 17, 2020 |
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2020 12:41
|
|
|
I'll never get tired of the Deepest Kirkostaculis Lore. Eagerly awaiting the MA and LA versions with their own RICHEST LORE.
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2020 21:05
|
|
|
I see you are easing us in into the darker aspects of clown lore
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2020 21:44
|
|
|
The LA commanders are just the cast of Seinfeld.
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2020 22:12
|
|
|
goatface posted:The LA commanders are just the cast of Seinfeld. I was thinking Adam Sandler movie characters, but either way the nadir of comedy.
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2020 22:24
|
|
|
If modern stand-up and sitcom-ry is the cut-throat LA-state with the old way abandoned and the new forms of dark magic reaching their ascendancy, what would the MA transition state be? Vaudeville and music hall? The rise of satirists and literary wits?
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2020 22:42
|
|
|
goatface posted:If modern stand-up and sitcom-ry is the cut-throat LA-state with the old way abandoned and the new forms of dark magic reaching their ascendancy, what would the MA transition state be? Vaudeville and music hall? The rise of satirists and literary wits? Rise of dark clowning, the Joker, It-esque blood demons, etc. in LA the human citizens of Kirkostaculis have lost faith in the clowns as a result but have done poorly in their own attempt at re-creating the golden age of Comedy. At least, that's how I'd play it.
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2020 22:58
|
|
|
PurpleXVI posted:Rise of dark clowning, the Joker, It-esque blood demons, etc. in LA the human citizens of Kirkostaculis have lost faith in the clowns as a result but have done poorly in their own attempt at re-creating the golden age of Comedy. Give the dark clowns a flying elephant and you’re golden
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2020 23:05
|
|
|
MA clowns would be a state of transition. In these days, physical comedy is waning as the common people grow tired and concerned of seemingly dangerous acts. Alongside this, the rise of Crystal Projection technology has allowed the common man to watch all sorts of things from the safety of his mud hut. This revolution has seen clowns lose out in the entertainment to this new programming. While some stubbornly hold on to the classic past of the big top, others have shifted to Crystal programming to reach the people as well as adapting to the sensibilities of the times. Some say they have lost some of their magic, but being able to make people laugh is all they care about. In these desperate times, the big tent has started to include the previously shunned dark clowning and even allow some tragic clowns to perform. Anything to draw people to the increasingly empty tents. LA clowns would be this. The days of Bigtop tents are long since gone, most plying their clownery in dedicated comedy clubs. The most famous of clowns perform on the biggest stages, with the powers to cause thousands of people to laugh in unison and stun them silent. Their charisma makes them powerhouses anywhere they perform and have the respect and admiration of all clowns and peoples. These performers have no division between tragic, dark, and classic comedy, shattered by the great clown comedian Twitch Hedgerow. The clowns that still stick to the traditional ways have organized themselves into clown cooperatives, performing solely for the continuation of their craft. these cooperatives specialize in one aspect of clownery, becoming experts in the field that the mainstream and generalist clowns can never hope to master. However, all traditional clowns have a fear aura to them after many crystal projection "shimmies" depicting them as horrifying creatures. Crystal projection has stayed strong but the rise of the astral net has given more opportunity for entertainment. Idiots and Sideshows, long cast out of the big tent, have surged in popularity on the astral net and have become beloved figures (sacred).
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2020 23:25
|
|
|
I just want to see Esteban in all three Ages: undying, increasingly gigantic, never even slightly funny
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2020 23:35
|
|
|
but that's a pretty funny idea
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 00:45
|
|
|
Isn't that the tragedy of Esteban? Darth Esteban the Unfunny
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 01:10
|
|
|
in LA, while every other clown has gradually become a twisted pennywise-esque abomination, esteban has somehow changed into being the only still-funny clown, the last light against a tide of unending madness, doomed to fail in his quest to uphold real clowning because of how long it took him to move down this path truly, the most tragic clown of all President Ark fucked around with this message at 04:25 on Feb 17, 2020 |
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 04:23
|
|
|
President Ark posted:in LA, while every other clown has gradually become a twisted pennywise-esque abomination, esteban has somehow changed into being the only still-funny clown, the last light against a tide of unending madness, doomed to fail in his quest to uphold real clowning because of how long it took him to move down this path His jokes still loving suck though.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 07:06
|
|
|
You've got it all wrong though: Seinfeld isn't LA, it's MA. It's always sunny in Philadelphia is LA.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 07:29
|
|
|
BaronOhShi posted:His jokes still loving suck though.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 10:24
|
|
|
anilEhilated posted:It's LA; Comedy is dead. Tartarian clowns, then?
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 10:48
|
|
|
MA is the rise of television and sitcoms in particular set against the decline of live entertainment. LA is the death of cable and rise of streaming services and prestige TV dramas
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 16:54
|
|
|
LA should definitely be late-stage internet. Bongo the Great's foolish attempt to fuse all three major forms of comedy caused a fatal outbreak of irony poisoning that killed all the clowns and horribly warped the humans of Kirkostaculis into soulless yet extremely self-aware and insular monsters. Comedy is still sacred but is only handled at a distant remove by carefully-trained apathetics lest their irony-laced hearts explode from caring about anything - the bulk of the masses are placated instead by easily-digestible memes. This leaden and numbed people worship a pretender god because why not nothing matters lol.
Drakyn fucked around with this message at 17:21 on Feb 17, 2020 |
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 17:19
|
|
|
Can we still get lizards with rainbow afros?
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 17:20
|
|
|
Drakyn posted:This leaden and numbed people worship a pretender god because why not nothing matters lol. Having achieved irony, there is nothing left to acquire but godhood.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 18:48
|
|
|
Drakyn posted:LA should definitely be late-stage internet. Bongo the Great's foolish attempt to fuse all three major forms of comedy caused a fatal outbreak of irony poisoning that killed all the clowns and horribly warped the humans of Kirkostaculis into soulless yet extremely self-aware and insular monsters. Comedy is still sacred but is only handled at a distant remove by carefully-trained apathetics lest their irony-laced hearts explode from caring about anything - the bulk of the masses are placated instead by easily-digestible memes. This leaden and numbed people worship a pretender god because why not nothing matters lol. On the other hand, cats are sacred. They're still just housecats with the stats you'd expect, but they're so beloved by the masses that they count as sacred. And hey, they're cheap.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 18:50
|
|
|
Anti sacred infantry using nothing but tired memes about the opposing pretender.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 19:08
|
|
|
goatface posted:Anti sacred infantry using nothing but tired memes about the opposing pretender.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 19:44
|
|
|
Drakyn posted:*confronting giant fountain of nightmare blood* 'life in r'lyeh corresponds in many ways to life in my toilet' lmao 
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 20:41
|
|
|
With all this talk about irony poisoning I thought it'd be a good time to start our series Jokes Not Told, in which I go over the pretender options that I didn't pick. (if you didn't read all of that I really urge you to, it's way better than any words you'll see from me) Given that my build contained 8 points of astral, the Shiny Red Nose was very nearly my pick. Unfortunately between the 3 HP and the fact that the Idol of the Sun started with 2 paths and had a cheaper cost to add more it meant that the same build on the Shiny Red Nose would look like this:  That point difference is a scale, when my scales were already very bad, and a point of dominion in exchange for a much worse (and much funnier) chassis. I'm not proud of the decision I made but I justified it by saying that giving the clowns the best chance to win is, after all, the greatest joke of all. Incidentally the Idol of the Sun, which we'll go into more detail on when they get released from their prison, is from the mod Pretenders Enhanced. When setting this stuff up I had the attitude that more options was more good but the new options mean you'll see relatively few cool mod pretenders and that's a drat shame.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 21:11
|
|
gonadic io posted:Incidentally the Idol of the Sun, which we'll go into more detail on when they get released from their prison, is from the mod Pretenders Enhanced. When setting this stuff up I had the attitude that more options was more good but the new options mean you'll see relatively few cool mod pretenders and that's a drat shame. Pretenders Enhanced seems to be balanced around Aethernomad-level mods like U, Karnaac and the like which is to say pretty high powered. If a mod uses pretender gods balanced around normal-ish Dominions play (*cough* cassia *cough*) the Pretenders Enhanced mod probably has better bang for your buck options for better or worse.
|
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 21:38
|
|
|
Having become hilarious there is nothing to achieve but godhood.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 22:58
|
|
|
Age: 2200 and yet it is still shiny.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2020 23:10
|
|
|
Drakyn posted:*confronting giant fountain of nightmare blood* 'life in r'lyeh corresponds in many ways to life in my toilet' giant stone head except it looks like this  jesus christ  e: i think the sun idol works on multiple levels since cirque uses it as their logo
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2020 03:14
|
|
|
President Ark posted:e: i think the sun idol works on multiple levels since cirque uses it as their logo Yeah, I thought it was a national pretender because of that.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2020 07:39
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 18:32 |
|
|
Turn 33 A few small battles out of the way first, we kill those lake rebels that weren't even the scary feebleminding chasos rebels and were instead villains. I've said it before but villains are one of the worst independent troop in the game and the Armless Woman could probably have killed them all on her own by summoning a few skeletons.  Our prophet continues taking the weakly defended provinces. These troops retreated here so were stuck with only PD leaders instead of real ones so it's nice to mop these up before the AI can collect them all up again.  Our force coming through the caves managed to stumble over what looks like 30+ PD. I have no idea if Giacomo or just the AI decided to dump this in but I can't possibly imagine that it was a good plan. It goes about as as you'd expect - turns out that thunder strike is a really good spell and hellblessed giant clowns are a really good unit!   We take one of the mantis forts too, the battle is the same as you've seen dozens of times before - clowns get buffed, charge forwards, and blender anything they come into contact with. The mantises try to stall at the gate for a bit with phantasmal warriors but our choice of magic weapon bless once again pays off and we breeze through them. Honestly I was pretty on the fence about taking the bless going into this game instead of spell penetration but it's really impressed me.   A new prophet announcement from U:  We hit enchantment 4 this turn and it gives us 3 great benefits. First off Cloud Trapeze which gives our clown thugs an incredible amount of mobility. Having a half dozen powerful mages trapeze into your lands in a single turn is really hard to deal with.  Mystery Performance is another way to cause unrest in the lands of enemies with order dominion.  Finally we get one thing I've been promising for a long time: Dark Clowns! (shown here in a turmoil 3 province)  Their cruel jokes are a 0 (plus a dice roll) armour-negating hit and then cause fear, the oversized mallet is a brutal hit on a single target, and of course we've seen the comically large kick before. The mallet and their high attack makes them great at repelling and of course having fear-causing clowns sprinkled in among the regular ones makes our opponents much more likely to run away sooner. The fact that they're 4 death gems and a mage turn for 1 means we won't be massing them anytime soon but we absolutely will be putting a few in all our armies going forward.  Back in Greevil's Bog we're half way through our first lizard shaman. Definitely the first one. Don't remember any others.  Clearly the populace in the province are just as excited because some kind of elven treasure was uncovered! Coupled with another smaller event that's in incredible two thousand gold. Two thousand! Maybe luck scales are good after all. We start another Ancient Clown and build a new temple in our cave throne - still with enough money left over for another two Ancient Clowns! This is great!   Right we found the massive mantis army south of us - nearly 200 of them and mostly the good ones at that. To deal with that we're going to need all the clowns at our disposal so our two cave forces are going to meet up, on top of a tiny force of mantises.  Now you may remember the last time I tried to join two armies together on top of an enemy force with another nearby: but this time both of our forces are massive and the enemy one is small so we should be good, probably. We also go kill Burning Man again. It'll be like a memorial for the Emerald Impaler!  Got my next big cave force coming through, again potentially ready to turn around if needed.  This is the province that Anglia cleared of indies for us and is apparently giving back? There's some soldiers in it now? Anyway I'm sending just one Armless Woman ready to summon a bunch of skeletons so it's not an incredible loss if it turns out to be a betrayal after all. 
gonadic io fucked around with this message at 11:27 on Feb 21, 2020 |
|
#
?
Feb 20, 2020 22:20
|
|
