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Iamgoofball
Jul 1, 2015

https://www.findingmyrepublicangoddess.com/

I was just linked to this website by a friend, and I just had to share it with you nerds.

None of the photos appear to be stock photos.

This site is, from what I can tell, 100% legitimate.

Do you have what it takes to be this man's Awesome Republican Goddess???

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CassandraZara
Oct 21, 2012

by Nyc_Tattoo
Yeah I lost on Question 4, I thought options 2 and 3 were saying the same thing so I guess I’m not good enough for this guy.

CassandraZara
Oct 21, 2012

by Nyc_Tattoo

quote:

I am intensely sexual. My sexual journey in this lifetime has taken me into the core of my Being as a man… into the God Presence within me. This has been a profound, deeply spiritual journey—at times extremely painful, at others ecstatic. If we connect, I will be happy to tell you that story. Here, I will merely state the result. My sexual practice has evolved into a sacred, spiritual practice—the highest form of meditation and worship. I believe women have a greater capacity to receive pleasure than men do, while men have a greater capacity to deliver pleasure than women do. Hence, my greatest pleasure is worshiping my goddess by giving her prolonged, repeated, explosive, full-body, female experiences. I am grateful to God that after more than two decades of inner work and outer practice, I seem to have mastered that ability. I am a true Tantra Master. Physical technique matters, but far more important are a man’s state of Being and what’s in his mind. By worshiping her sexually, as I proceed delicately, step by intimate step, and as she surrenders completely into our lovemaking, I will merge my male power with her female power and, with awesomely loving male intention, I will make her shimmer with Divine Light, make her belly overflow with butterflies, make her heart sing in wild, ecstatic rapture, and then make her explode again and again and again, and as she explodes, her highest Goddess qualities will blossom, develop and fully manifest. In other words, each time we make love, she will become a happier, more powerful, more fully developed Goddess. This practice is the most important thing in the whole world to me and the bedrock of our Divine Resonant Tantric Partnership.

For strong male function, I take herbs that work better than Viagra and are entirely healthy.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
I really have to wonder why this gentleman must resort to this. If he is a true Tantra master who has honed his powers through intense practice, it stands to reason that he had a sparring partner, of sorts. He sounds pretty sure about his ability to fill a woman with light-butterflies, so he must've had more help than just Righty, Lefty, and an old sock.

Why is she not available?

Either he bound a Succubus with his tantic powers in order to hone his mastery and feels a demon makes for a capable training partner but a poor wife (bigotry), or his last Divine Light Sex Goddess broke his heart by voting for a pro-choice candidate.

Raged
Jul 21, 2003

A revolution of beats
I would like to say it's fake, but the last few years have taught me it's all true plus that guy is a pedo.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

I really have to wonder why this gentleman must resort to this. If he is a true Tantra master who has honed his powers through intense practice, it stands to reason that he had a sparring partner, of sorts. He sounds pretty sure about his ability to fill a woman with light-butterflies, so he must've had more help than just Righty, Lefty, and an old sock.

Why is she not available?

Either he bound a Succubus with his tantic powers in order to hone his mastery and feels a demon makes for a capable training partner but a poor wife (bigotry), or his last Divine Light Sex Goddess broke his heart by voting for a pro-choice candidate.

He's a devoted Trumper. I think I can figure out how his previous relationship ended.

Grevling
Dec 18, 2016

:wink:

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves
Apparently a daring escape from your husbands harem is an instant game over.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

gently caress this guy.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

BigBadSteve posted:

gently caress this guy.

Please don't.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009

Sunswipe posted:

He's a devoted Trumper. I think I can figure out how his previous relationship ended.

quote:

I am on a serious quest for a Republican Tantra Goddess. She is a fabulous, intensely passionate, emotionally mature, spiritually evolved woman of tremendous power and deep integrity. She is beautiful both outside and inside. As a Republican, she loves, trusts, and wholeheartedly supports President Trump. She knows her great and sacred value as a Goddess and seeks a man who is genuinely worthy of her spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, physically and sexually. As a Tantra Goddess, she longs with great intensity to completely surrender herself to him as he worships her in every moment, including worshiping her sexually and lifting her into prolonged states of exalted ecstasy. I want her to unite with me in an awesome romantic/sexual relationship leading to a magical marriage.

She and I will create a Divine Resonant Tantric Partnership through which we will uplift the lives of large numbers of people (I see millions globally). For many reasons, the time is right for this. First, incredibly positive political changes are happening right now in the United States (discussed in Topic 10: Politics). Second, after decades of profound spiritual/transformational inner work and intense outer worldly experience, I believe that I am finally ready for the Goddess I seek. Third, I am certain that she has been on a profound journey preparing herself for our union, and my sense is that our two journeys will converge at the divine perfect time. By the grace of God, she will soon be in my arms, and our magnificent partnership will begin. I created this personal website to help us find each other.

Is Donald Trump truly the Tantric Sex Wizard's dream candidate??? That's quite odd.

quote:

I feel close to several religions. In John 13:35, Jesus Himself states, "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." I love everyone, am therefore a disciple of Jesus, and hence a Christian. (I do not believe He was the only son of God, rather I believe He was a son of the only God. I also believe He has returned and is in a human body on this planet right now... He's world famous but has not yet publicly disclosed his past life as Jesus.) I go to the Malibu Hindu Temple once a month for Ganesha Homa (fire ceremony) and Abhishekam (milk pouring ceremony), so I am a Hindu. I have worshipped at several Buddhist temples, so I am a Buddhist. I am also developing a religion of my own.

.... I think Donald Trump might be Jesus.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
I figured out how to get through the quiz. It's the obvious Trump-man answer for all of them EXCEPT number four. For that one, you can't go straight Christian. You gotta go Spiritual and Enlightened.

Aggro
Apr 24, 2003

STRONG as an OX and TWICE as SMART
I wasted my whole goddamn morning reading this lunatic‘s site, and it just keeps going further and further off the rails. It’s astounding insight into how broke-brained Trump-supporters rationalize dozens of hypocritical and absurd viewpoints. At different points, he describes himself as a scientist...who devoutly believes in Vedic astrology. He’s a God-fearing Christian...who believes in reincarnation and considers Buddha and Krishna to be prophets. He believes in the sanctity of marriage...but wants to rescind laws preventing polygamy. He thinks Democrats are undermining our government with Fake News...but 9/11 was also an inside job and Trump is protecting America by NOT revealing the truth.

A choice quote:

quote:

Trump's 2016 victory occurred by Divine Intervention that suppressed the voting machine fraud, to the horrified chagrin of the evil Uniparty, who, in Trump's words, "never thought she would lose."

And this dude definitely pays for sex:

quote:

I oppose laws that criminalize the exchange of sex for money between mutually consenting adults without force or fraud. I believe prostitution should be an honorable career choice for women and an honorable way for men to get their needs met. Jailing people for this is crazy. The many arguments claiming that prostitution is harmful and/or evil are each readily debunked. In reality, prostitution relieves the sexual frustration that bends the minds of many men and drives some of them to commit real sex crimes, including sexual assault and rape. Prostitution reduces the rate of such crimes, thereby protecting women and girls. Performing brain surgery is not for everyone, but it pays well, and many doctors who do it enjoy the work. Likewise, prostitution is not for everyone, but it pays well, and many women who do it enjoy the work.

Nice Guy Patron
Jun 29, 2015
Ahhh, California.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
Now. The sex magic is silly. But the funniest thing is that page of references from women:

quote:

Topic 7. Character References from Women Who Know Me Well

I am thankful that many people know the truth about me. Here are some excerpts from letters women have written about me:

"Mark was my boyfriend from November 2012 through March 2013. I can vouch for his outstanding character in every respect. Mark is a perfect gentleman."
Isabel C

"I have known Mark since 2006. We are neighbors... He is a close friend, and he has been very kind to me and my two daughters, who were children when I first knew Mark and are now young women. He has been in my home many times, and my daughters and I have been in his home many times. Mark has always been there for me, including in times of emergency."
Tami C

"I am a close personal friend of Mark [since 2003]. I can vouch for his outstanding character in every respect. Our relationship has always been platonic. I have traveled with Mark and stayed in his home, and he has never done anything even remotely inappropriate. Mark is a perfect gentleman."
Michele M

"I met Mark on an international dating website in 2017. I traveled to Los Angeles and stayed with him for approximately two weeks. Our relationship is excellent. [Unfortunately, due to problems on my end unrelated to Mark we had to end our romance, but we remain friends.]"
Maria G

"I have known Mark since January 2012. Mark is one of my dearest friends, and I would trust him with my life."
Rosemary S

"Mark is a saint!"
Marina S

Mark, I don't think you can use square brackets to just add a new sentence your reference didn't actually say.

Nice Guy Patron
Jun 29, 2015
You guys should try watching the videos. Apparently the most important thing in a relationship is"resonance"

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009

Reverend Mark "I Would Just Like To Make It Clear That A Woman And Her Daughters Have Been In My Home And Are Clearly Still Alive" Williams posted:

Here are my three biggest weaknesses and challenges. It is important that we know and accept each other with our problems. We will then solve and transform them in the sacred fire of our Divine Resonant Tantric Partnership.

Problem 1. At my age, with my large goals and a lifetime of hard work, I should have already been successful. But I have not yet attained the material success I want. I cannot promise you material success, but our Tantric Partnership will be a gigantic help! If you want someone who has already made his fortune, I am not your man.

Problem 2. Although it is never my intention, I scare some people. I am outspoken and think independently, and some people are frightened by that. I have been nonviolent my entire life. I do not intentionally hurt anyone's feelings, but I have made mistakes. Whenever I become aware that I have hurt someone, I apologize. Yet, sometimes people need to hear truth that they don't want to hear. If any of the material presented here scares you, then I am not your man.

Problem 3. Some people hate me and ridicule me. I do not hate them back. I never ridicule anyone. Actually, I love everyone unconditionally. Some of these people have defamed me with vicious lies. If you believe attacks on someone's character without confirming the truth of the matter, then I am not your man.

An alternative view of Problems 2 and 3 is that these are not my problems, but rather problems of those who harbor the fear and hatred. However, when they attack me based on that, it definitely becomes my problem. Indeed, this has been the biggest challenge of my life!!

Additionally, I have three NON-serious physical health issues that I'm striving to heal, primarily by non-allopathic means. The first is a dental challenge, for which I have resisted getting implants in the hopes of a better solution. The second is some hearing loss, for which I wear hearing aids. I will explain the third to you later. I am grateful that most of the time my body is pain free, healthy and energetic.

My dream Republican Goddess should be able to give me money and also summon me some new teeth from the teeth dimension..

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

The third is that I'm deeply, deeply ugly.

So other than being broke, ugly, dentally challenged and an all around mental freak show, I'm your tantric huckleberry

ASenileAnimal
Dec 21, 2017

BigBadSteve posted:

gently caress this guy.

probably the least likely thing to happen to him

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

what a wild ride

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
We are not a match.

Thank you for your time.

Good luck to you!

Goodbye (no kiss)

magic cactus
Aug 3, 2019

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.
This thing is a work of art. :biglips:

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
I feel like you guys are downplaying the fact that William intends to create a new religion centered around him and his goddess

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

I'm going 2 fyck him

Mnoba
Jun 24, 2010
finally a website i can relate to, thanks op

Elman
Oct 26, 2009

When I look at your chart (using Jyotish, not Western astrology), I will check for the following characteristics. The more you have, the more compatible we are:
  • Your rising sign (ascendant) is either Cancer, Scorpio, Capricorn or Pisces;
  • Your Sun is in Aries, Taurus, Cancer, Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn or Pisces;
  • Your Moon is in Taurus, Cancer, Capricorn or Pisces;
  • Your Mercury is not in Pisces;
  • Your Venus is in Aries, Taurus, Cancer, Libra, Scorpio, Capricorn or Pisces;
  • Your Mars is in Aries, Taurus, Libra, Scorpio, Capricorn or Pisces;
  • Your Jupiter is not in Capricorn;
  • Your Saturn is not in Aries; and
  • You have planets on both sides of line between your Rahu and your Ketu (which are the Moon's two nodes, i.e., the points where the Moon's orbit intersected the plane of the Earth's orbit when you were born).

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.
This might not be a fake site but that picture is obviously of a dead man that has been preserved with the same technique Lenin was.

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
Problem 1. At my age, with my large goals and a lifetime of hard work, I should have already been successful. But I have not yet attained the material success I want. I cannot promise you material success, but our Tantric Partnership will be a gigantic help! If you want someone who has already made his fortune, I am not your man.

sticksy
May 26, 2004
Nap Ghost

my dog died im sad posted:

Ahhh, California.
Truly a land of contrasts.

sticksy
May 26, 2004
Nap Ghost
Also, please don't doxx my dead father on these forums

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

I WILL gently caress him.and no goon will stand in my way

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Question 4 did NOT shock me for the record

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Iamgoofball
Jul 1, 2015

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

Question 4 did NOT shock me for the record

No refunds.

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