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I thought a glass lid would be enough to keep him in his tank. He's been with me through two cross-country moves and a hell of a lot of sadbrains. When I found him, I thought it was in time to save him, but he was already past the point of no return and he died shortly after I got him in his hospital tank. I should've put a brick on top. I should've been better. He was relying on me to keep him safe and I failed him. After all he did for me, I owed him bare minimum that much. It's not his fault he jumped out. His brain is literally sub- pea sized. This frog kept me from taking my own life when I was at my lowest and I failed him. He could've lived another decade. He should've lived another decade. If I wasn't such a lovely frogmom he WOULD have lived another decade. RIP Paul. I miss you terribly and I loved you a lot.  
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Jan 20, 2020 22:02
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Yeah... yeah, I know you're right. Not even debatable; I know you're right. I just... idk man, he was the best and most reliable little dude. He sang when he was happy. That's why I named him Paul. After Paul McCartney. I was gonna get him a roommate and name the roomie John (Lennon). He was trainable too. I had it so he'd swim up to the front of the glass when I tapped it at feeding time. I'm doing okay. My brush with death was about 4 years ago and I've improved so much I'm almost not even recognizably the same person any more. My therapist is an absolute powerhouse and she's got me firmly in hand. I'm just wallowing in guilt and grief at the moment and it sounds scarier than it is. My fiancé had to leave yesterday for 3 weeks of job training so I'm fairly isolated right now and taking things harder than I otherwise would. I'm gonna go see a close friend this weekend, I've got my grandparents close by, and my buddies are checking in... plus this is an excuse to spoil my other 2 frogs with treats and appreciate them lots and lots. Thank you, kind goonfriend. I'm okay. Edit to add: I'm gonna get a couple more frogs of the same species, but not normals and not males. A couple female albinos. With better tank security, natch. I love ACFs but I don't wanna replace Paul because Paul is irreplaceable. I wanna get a couple girls so I don't look in the tank and mistake them for him. Having a couple charming ACFs to pour my heart into will be good for me. Axqu fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Jan 21, 2020 |
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Jan 21, 2020 00:04
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