Marine Thread 2023: A Shiny New 2020 Army Thread for Your Deployment (skip to p12)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Marine Thread 2023: A Shiny New 2020 Army Thread for Your Deployment (skip to p12)

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Steezo: Jun 16, 2003

BounceBanana posted:

Now that sounds more like my experiences.

Needs more introductory ball taps to match mine.

# ? Nov 14, 2023 02:15

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# ? Jul 27, 2024 01:36

PenisMonkey: Apr 30, 2004; Be gentally.

I�ve got some ball taps for you.

# ? Nov 14, 2023 02:20

TheWeedNumber: Apr 20, 2020; by sebmojo

im going to die of irony poisoning if it turns out that waiting in line at the armory to draw weapons at FMT-B West gave me PTSD. hahahahahahha

# ? Nov 15, 2023 04:02

Rust Martialis: May 8, 2007; by VideoGames

No comment

# ? Nov 15, 2023 11:18

BounceBanana: Feb 3, 2021

Simper Pie

Rust Martialis posted:

No comment

# ? Nov 22, 2023 01:00

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

idk

# ? Dec 12, 2023 07:17

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

I'm opening a new store front at the old MCX video store.

It's called C'MON YOU APES

YOU WANNA SAVE FOREVER ?"

(THE ANSWER IS YES)

Full neon. We sell discount energy drinks and premium cum-adjacent tchotchkes

# ? Dec 28, 2023 07:48

Queer Grenadier: Jun 14, 2023; THIS GUY HAS A POOPY BOOM BOOM

HE NOT WARSHING HE HOLES LOL

Shock advised.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 00:07

Murgos: Oct 21, 2010

Silent Lucidity just randomly popped into my streaming music and I haven�t heard that song in 20 years I think.

I�m totally transported back to my cot in Somalia trying to sleep in 105F heat in the middle of the day with my Walkman after patrols all night.

I�m wrecked.

# ? Mar 9, 2024 19:34

MrMojok: Jan 28, 2011

These are the things we must contemplate when there have been no thread deployments for months

# ? Mar 9, 2024 20:03

PathAsc: Nov 15, 2011; Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL

Thread deployment was a good time, hell yeah

# ? Mar 9, 2024 20:30

Rakekniven: Jun 4, 2000; Forum Veteran

Absolute banger of a float story from a post to Defector today:

quote:

This story takes place in 2001 (before September 11th) aboard the USS Boxer somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. I was a Marine Corps Private First Class on a "WESTPAC" deployment. On these deployments, you�re assigned to a daily duty-section, numbers 1-4. Duty-section basically means that after your 12-hour shift working your MOS, you then report to your duty-section muster to do poo poo like cleaning the officers� berthing, mopping and cleaning the decks in various areas of the ship, scraping and painting corrosion prone areas, etc... It all takes about two hours. And because the system rotates through the four sections daily you do these tasks every four days.

You also have about 200 other Navy and Marine Corps personnel in your duty-section of ranks E1-E5, with an E6 that typically runs the show. As one would imagine, the shittiness of the task you get assigned tends to be dictated by your rank. Some clumsy as gently caress second Lieutenant trips and spills an entire 20-ounce bottle of dip spit onto the floor in his room? That job�s going to a private or PFC like myself. And so we begin:

My duty section staff sergeant explains there is a problem with the head in the forward berthing. He points to me and then the other lowest ranking Marine. We snap to attention and fall out toward the petty officer.

The other Marine and I are lead to the berthing in question which immediately sucks because this is one of the infantry berthings. Infantry Marines are the real Marines that do real Marine Corps poo poo. The private and I are POG Marines who do poo poo that the Air Force could probably do better, and we are generally not liked by the real Marines. The petty officer leads us through the grunt berthing, past the area with all the bunks and into the head where the sinks are located. The petty officer deliberately and intentionally stops a good 10 feet short of the door to the latrines, simply points in that direction, says "in there," and walks off.

The private and I proceed through the hatch and into the latrine area and sweet loving Christ on a pogo stick we are greeted with an absolutely VILE smell and scene. Apparently something about the heavy seas we experienced the previous night (departing Guam) caused all 10 of these toilets to overflow from the waste tanks. We are standing in a legit inch of water/piss/poo poo/toilet paper (and likely semen) cocktail covering the ENTIRETY of the deck. And because the boat is always rocking a bit the wads, of toilet paper and the various sized poo poo logs are moving back and forth with the motion in some sort of hellish fecal ballet. We stare in disbelief, trying to fully comprehend the task before us. Just then, one of the grunt Marines sticks his head in, looks me dead in the eyes, laughs out loud, and says "You guys are so hosed."

I spend the next 90 minutes using the dust pan in my right hand to chase and corral the poo logs and toilet paper chunks, corner them against a bulkhead, lift and carefully walk them to the nearest toilet to dump them in. This process gets repeated at least a hundred times in that 90 minutes. Meanwhile, the other private is mopping up the fluid portion of the mess and dumping the bucket out into the nearest toilet every time it gets full. We are both randomly dry-heaving violently, and wearing the same loving boots we will have to wear 10 hours from now when our actual jobs need to be done. We�re also dejected from the infantry guys popping in every few minutes to laugh in our faces.

When we finished cleaning and sanitizing, we sprinkled an entire bottle of Aqua Velva aftershave on the floor. Even then, it STILL smelled like someone drew a poo poo mustache under our noses. The whole ordeal haunts my dreams to this day.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 21:04

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Is this getting summa dat grunt poo poo?

hehe

# ? Apr 25, 2024 21:22

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

USMC Infantry made me the man I am today

(swivels in chair, spooge and stool spraying everywhere)

# ? May 2, 2024 04:46

Queer Grenadier: Jun 14, 2023; THIS GUY HAS A POOPY BOOM BOOM

HE NOT WARSHING HE HOLES LOL

AQUA VELVA

# ? May 9, 2024 12:27

Eason the Fifth: Apr 9, 2020

memory unlocked, drill instructor staff sgt rodriguez fuckin with the platoon before inspection and spraying listerine on our faces and aqua vela in our mouths :thisagain:

# ? May 9, 2024 13:40

Steezo: Jun 16, 2003

Eason the Fifth posted:

memory unlocked, drill instructor staff sgt rodriguez fuckin with the platoon before inspection and spraying listerine on our faces and aqua vela in our mouths

Are you upset at that fine gentleman giving you a delicous snack before an inspection? Ingrate, get on the quarter deck.

# ? May 9, 2024 18:59

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; Can't post for 4 hours!

Where can I get that Bulldog cologne they sold at MCRD San Diego?

# ? May 10, 2024 04:40

Steezo: Jun 16, 2003

Grem posted:

Where can I get that Bulldog cologne they sold at MCRD San Diego?

The gently caress do you want floor cleaner for?

# ? May 12, 2024 11:50

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; Can't post for 4 hours!

I need to feel that burn, man, that kinda burn you get after dry shaving with the same razor for a month but this time it's Alphas inspection and you better press hard. Then you get doused in Bulldog and feel so loving alive while it chars your pores.

# ? May 14, 2024 15:38

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

RIP SHIM

o7

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2q5R9HU7C0

# ? May 28, 2024 04:58

Murgos: Oct 21, 2010

https://www.twz.com/sea/flattop-amphibious-assault-ship-to-be-pummeled-with-weapons-in-rimpac-wargames

Tarawa is going to be expended in a sinkex. I spent some time on her in the 90s and so I guess it bothers me a bit but also, she�s 50, out of commission for 15 years so not sure it should.

# ? Jun 12, 2024 02:41

Murgos: Oct 21, 2010

Miss a 3 ft wide center mass at 200 yards is some kind of pizza box BS.

# ? Jul 15, 2024 15:27

Steezo: Jun 16, 2003

Murgos posted:

Miss a 3 ft wide center mass at 200 yards is some kind of pizza box BS.

125 meter miss on a stationary target as wide as two dog targets stapled together. That fucker would've been an UNQ.

# ? Jul 15, 2024 15:51

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

no pit love for nerds

# ? Jul 20, 2024 07:51

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

trumo: As it says in the good book,

'I am my buddy's keeper.'

(slaps a tiny black circle sticker on face, lays down and dies)

# ? Jul 20, 2024 08:14

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Can you imagine the immaculate cheek weld one can achieve with neither a chin nor a nose?

Just an absolute weapon of god

# ? Jul 20, 2024 08:14

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

I have it on good authority

that the republican VP candidate's combat journalism

Was entirely dick doodles in one of those rain-proof pocket notepads.

(he has my vote)

# ? Jul 20, 2024 08:32

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

aw dang

I left my range book

in my POV

next to my IED

the deep state is going to be so mad at me

# ? Jul 20, 2024 08:40

Steezo: Jun 16, 2003

Gonna go balls deep state on the vp picks wife.

# ? Jul 21, 2024 01:09

PathAsc: Nov 15, 2011; Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL

Victor Vermis posted:

I have it on good authority

that the republican VP candidate's combat journalism

Was entirely dick doodles in one of those rain-proof pocket notepads.

(he has my vote)

That would imply he was worth a drat lol, which no politician is

# ? Jul 21, 2024 05:47

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

PathAsc posted:

That would imply he was worth a drat lol, which no politician is

Fuckin POGiticians.

Steezo posted:

Gonna go balls deep state on the vp picks wife.

Nevermind, Steezo's banging his foreign-born SO while devil's downrange,

he's definitely a grunt.

# ? Jul 23, 2024 05:56

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

I get so confused when I watch soccer

Red card. Yellow card.

We all know its the green card that really fucks ya.

# ? Jul 23, 2024 05:57

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Is there a stickied thread here about falling in love with foreign prostitutes

or is this subforum just a counter-intelligence honey-pot

for submariners on the spectrum

# ? Jul 23, 2024 06:04

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Victor Vermis posted:

for submariners on the spectrum

(me, choking to death on my 500th consecutive frozen pizza while programming an NES mario brothers clone)

.... (deep gasp)

But I repeat myself

# ? Jul 23, 2024 06:07

McNally: Sep 13, 2007; Ask me about Proposition 305

Do you like muskets?

dude what the gently caress

# ? Jul 23, 2024 06:22

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

McNally posted:

dude what the gently caress

Yeah but which part

# ? Jul 23, 2024 06:34

OMFG PTSD LOL PBUH: Sep 9, 2001

Victor Vermis posted:

Is there a stickied thread here about falling in love with foreign prostitutes

or is this subforum just a counter-intelligence honey-pot

for submariners on the spectrum

Mcnally I request that short of him dropping the hard R that you Leave vic alone and let him :justpost:

in the USMC thread.

You stare into the abyss long enough and it'll loving stare back occasionally.

Thus: This.

P.S. I :lol:

'd.

# ? Jul 23, 2024 06:43

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

I was LOLing so hard at my own posts my wife woke up and threatened to whisk our kids away to whatever MEU stop I found her on

And I honestly don't remember which part of our casual empire that was

I'm more mad at my geography teachers than anything else

# ? Jul 23, 2024 06:45

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# ? Jul 27, 2024 01:36

McNally: Sep 13, 2007; Ask me about Proposition 305

Do you like muskets?

lol this wasn't a "please stop" it was a "lol what"

# ? Jul 23, 2024 07:56

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Marine Thread 2023: A Shiny New 2020 Army Thread for Your Deployment (skip to p12)

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