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Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


Naked Bear posted:

We can't just go out and buy bras, sir. We need to have boob specs before we can proceed. Six... eight months, tops!

I have full faith and confidence, that like the one woman infantry LT I know, there will be at least one shitlord who sabotages this because of fuckstick attitudes towards women. Ask me about getting whistleblower protection and it doing fuckall to stop command fuckery.

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Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


Triggs posted:

Question for any engineer types out there but does the Army (or any service for that matter) have a system like this fielded?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nmQmVeUF_o

I believe the US Army version is called Privates.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


MrMojok posted:

Yeah, itís no joke. when I checked into my first unit in 1987, a lot of the 782 gear was from the Vietnam era.

Same but in 2001.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


bird food bathtub posted:

Looking forward to the wild ride. Do the LNs have any idea what's happening?

Shock and awe with a 155mm Goatman. Shock and awe. Fire for effect.


STAAAAAAAAAAAANDBY.... FIRE





Edit: also, we've got intel printing out translation cards for your TCPs, ECP,s and other P's with the locals. Apparently you should never say "ham ham you, grandma". whatever the gently caress that means.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


McNally posted:

I'm putting in the order to get this thread underway at 0400Z (midnight Eastern time). No idea when it'll actually get moving, but that's when the order goes in.

I will remind you that while this thread is deployed anyone who posts in it will be subject to the rules and customs of the host subforum. Be yourselves but don't be surprised if you end up in forums jail.

To Caveat off that, none of you will be loving late, be here at 0330, or 0300 if your name is on the piss test roster. The following names are on the roster....


....


....

gently caress that's nearly everyone, scratch that, all of you at 0300 and remember to loving hydrate. Do your PCC's and PCI's now. I'll be in my truck.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


Mr. Nice! posted:

I never got a good answer on our SOFA.

Local sovereignty is to be respected, dont fight their police, dont antagonize the protesters and stop dressing like a goddamned boot when you go on liberty, it makes you a target. And stay away from the previously briefed businesses, they dont want you going in there and making a mess, again.

Buddy system is in effect for any non NCOs.

For the NCOs quit getting caught coming out of the local red light hotels, its embarrassing, some of those women are old enough to be your mothers and almost as ugly.

Also stop saying "no comment" when asked any loving question, just refer them to the PAO and move on.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


bird food bathtub posted:

Man MEPS was a wild ride. People were told in absolutely no uncertain terms "You will be piss tested on exactly this date. Don't gently caress it up" and I end up in line next to the guy with a gallon of water in hand that is intensely nervous about the process. The whole time I'm thinking "My dude, you knew this was going to happen just put down the blunt for it or maybe this whole military thing isn't for you?"

And then I had to walk like a duck before dropping trou and letting some old guy scope out a room full of spread cheeks and buttholes.

Wait, he didn't touch the inside of your butthole? Did anyone else get uhh... inspected?

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


LtCol J. Krusinski posted:


Smegma Pie, weird anus at MEPS guy.

asvab doesn't matter much when you go contract artillery because big guns fun. It was also the fastest way out of a pseudo abusive childhood with a failed priest of a parent, literally, he bombed his way out of seminary, who instead hunted spies and gays for the navy and I think that explains some things now that I think about it.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


M_Gargantua posted:

Shim is either on or off his meds, hard to tell.

(For our local contacts, the "Lieutenant Colonel" there is "Shim" because it's a long story)

Either way their posts are a form of therapy.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


Victor Vermis posted:

GEO BACHELOR always sounded cool somehow.

Like CITIZEN OF THE WORLD,

But turns out it's more like your command is just capitalizing on every opportunity to call you a "VERIFIED C*CK DIPSHIT"

Dont forget the guys who use it as an excuse to be philandering shitheels and try to go all pokemon "gotta catch em all" on STDs.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


Victor Vermis posted:

This is my impression of a platoon sergeant who recently returned from the drill fields and never shuts the gently caress up about it:

(reading notes he wrote in crayon at the company office 5 minutes ago)

At 0700.. we have.. formation? In ..boots and ...utes?! BOOTS AND UTES ISN EVEN AN AUTHORIZED UNIFORM, MARINES (looks everyone in the eye)

*Leaves running formation to go in a bush, comes back without a skivvy shirt*

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


PathAsc posted:

Not what I expected for a new post, but drat that's some tragic news.

Great, now there's going to be another bullet point on the vehicle inspection checklist.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


Acebuckeye13 posted:

So who would you all say are your favorite marines

Smedley Butler. #1 gangster for capitalism and knew that war is a racket.


Also all you non crayon eating fucks acting like they taste different by color instead of type or date or location of manufacture. Crayola crunchy for life, those art store ones are too soft and dont turn your poop enough colors.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!



fcuk yuo I'm still workin on Math for Marines... This subforum has oil right? Have we liberated it yet?



CAT INTERCEPTOR posted:

I'll have to ask the person in charge of this here forum

Umm.... hi Marines? Show us your car ... or cute pets?

Ok fine, just remember he's not in cat jail or on restriction he just likes his carrier.




Huh, that's wierd, I keep replying to people with cat names...

Steezo fucked around with this message at 08:03 on Oct 12, 2023

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


PathAsc posted:

We are not a smart collection of people lol

Look man so long as you're good at killin people you dont gotta be a lot of things. Rah?

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


PathAsc posted:

Alright debbils, POV inspection time... goddammit why can I smell that Oldsmobile from here?

The one that's had junk food wrappers in the back evolving into new life and new civilizations, or the one that's leaking everywhere because dudes wife got into mlms while deployed and parted put half the car?

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


PathAsc posted:


gently caress, this is one of those times where still being in would be hilarious just to be able to list the terrible cars you see daily

There's like, one pristine garage queen thats beautifully maintained and 30 pieces of poo poo held together with bondo and chicken wire that may have only done one roll when flipped while hydroplaning in the desert, but probably more .Bonus points if the DUI or fatality wreck at the front gate next to the 0 days since dui/fatality sign is from your unit, instead of from the British royal Marines turning drunk driving into a competitive sport. In a rental


Edit: and that's just in your platoon...

Steezo fucked around with this message at 01:43 on Nov 2, 2023

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


CainFortea posted:

It would not surprise me if that van is still puttering around the rock but with even more bullshit wrong with it

I think every marine has seen a Gunny special a.k.a. the gray humvee (beat up old pickup, where you can tell how fast youre going by counting traffic stripes through the floor, usually owned by a divorced snco who wants to kill and or gently caress his ex wife, who he calls "the fat bitch")

Edit: forgot it has the only pioneering kit that's sl3 complete you'll ever see in your life, in the back.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


McNally posted:

Welcome home, marine thread. This morning someone misplaced their weapon and the base is on lockdown until itís found.

Jokes on you I never leave the barracks anyway. Not since they repo'd my mustang....

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


BounceBanana posted:

Now that sounds more like my experiences.

Needs more introductory ball taps to match mine.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


Eason the Fifth posted:

memory unlocked, drill instructor staff sgt rodriguez fuckin with the platoon before inspection and spraying listerine on our faces and aqua vela in our mouths :thisagain:

Are you upset at that fine gentleman giving you a delicous snack before an inspection? Ingrate, get on the quarter deck.

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Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


Grem posted:

Where can I get that Bulldog cologne they sold at MCRD San Diego?

The gently caress do you want floor cleaner for?

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