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Caught my first ever probe here back in '06. Got complacent and accidentally told the truth. Yeah, back in those days this place was filled to the brim with wild-eyed warmongerers, salivating at the thought of dumping money and blood into the pocket of any folksy blue-haired noble who'd tell 'em what a big strong boy they are for keeping America safe from the evil-doers. Just a total fuckin' freakshow. I wish you boys coulda seen it.
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# ¿ Sep 1, 2024 04:07 |
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GEO BACHELOR always sounded cool somehow. Like CITIZEN OF THE WORLD, But turns out it's more like your command is just capitalizing on every opportunity to call you a "VERIFIED C*CK DIPSHIT"
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Did anyone else have a regular recruit huddle in boot camp where that recruit (you know the one- southern, naturally athletic, hid in the bushes on the final PFT to shave 3 minutes off his time) would say a prayer, and then everyone would get really intense, And then the runt recruit everyone poo poo on constantly would pipe up and squeak: THIS RECRUIT HAS SOMETHING TO SAY And step forward, wearing comically too-big yellow'd whitey tighties hanging to his knees because that's what was left after the last mad scramble foot locker dump-and-wagon-wheel, And he'd squeak something cliche and self-deprecating like, HEY IF I CAN DO IT WE CAN ALL DO IT! And everyone knew he was only at boot camp because his mom was banging his recruiter and wanted to get him out of the house? I think about that guy a lot. I hope he wasn't murdered by an ancient italian landmine planted by some other kid whose mom was banging a recruiter for taliban/AQI
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TheWeedNumber posted:You know in your heart how this turned out. Yeah. re-enlistment. poo poo's so dang tragic.
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drk posted:what's the total comp for a military spouse these days Half, inevitably.
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FrozenVent posted:If you think about it, the chain of command is a pyramid really. Senior Lance Corporals keep barging into your barracks room to piss in your sink on dollar shot night at the Kaneohe Bay e-club? That's not hazing, You're just temporarily "downstream".
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addendum to my last post: the e-club doesn't serve drinks. I don't remember what the bar is called where base wives go to trade home photography tips/conduct their FetLife meet-ups.
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FrozenVent posted:My dude you also went on a tear calling people wage slaves and monies cuck. NO BETTER FRIEND NO WORST KRAMERING
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I looked this up. Got me. And now I am having flashbacks to a decade ago where I tried to convince GIP that NO, despite what Aaron Sorkin/NYT tells you, even the biggest dipshits don't get beat to the point of offing themselves, and NO, you can't tell post to "drop and give me 50" so that they'll be too busy pushing to call-in 1 DFL'ing manic SSGT walking down the road to massacre a village.
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Little known fact: DoD actually contracts with Sporcle now and you can re-up your security clearance by way of successfully completing various anime quizzes.
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My new hobby is playing mobile cash grab games but only after the developers announce imminent server shutdowns. Like a dopefiend playing fentanyl roulette, I'll be riding the loop of shrinking dopamine hits right up until the lights go out. lol i love bideo james
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This is my impression of a platoon sergeant who recently returned from the drill fields and never shuts the gently caress up about it: (reading notes he wrote in crayon at the company office 5 minutes ago) At 0700.. we have.. formation? In ..boots and ...utes?! BOOTS AND UTES ISN EVEN AN AUTHORIZED UNIFORM, MARINES (looks everyone in the eye)
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MrMojok posted:I will never forget the time when I was on I/I duty and the company I/I himself, a captain, showed up for formation at 0730 with a black eye and his cammie blouse buttoned wrong from the top down so that each button was in the wrong hole, resulting in a bizarre top-down skewing reminiscent of an MC Escher sketch, and reeking of booze. Weird but also sick.
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Yeah, like Alcoholics Anonymous or ChatGPT, You get out what you put in SMEPER FI
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looks like a buncha dicks and horseys
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Wait are we the infantry side or the logistics side?
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I am growing a beard and buying your finest goat Let's https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoDZzejankw
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urban city planning is my passion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqyfwytcRz0
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![]() You may not like it, But this is what peak punching a lot of elves looks like Blood Bowl 3 is a good game if you're into throwing dice until they decide to make another person feel bad about spending their time playing Blood Bowl 3
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Post Your Favorite Piece of Issued/Stolen Whatever Grid fleece top AND bottoms (its a set, gently caress you): i wore these to bed every night in Afghanistan until i puked and shidded all over them while hanging half way out a window Honorable Mention Buffalo jacket overrated. But I do give it my honorable mention for its honorable mention in one of the greatest all time pieces of devil dawg art: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhsblayR_fQ
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Eason the Fifth posted:Honorable Mention WHOA there. While we are guests in other forums let's try to keep the voluntary disclosure of federal crimes to an absolute minimum. .. also you may want to go off-grid for a bit. CIF Strike Teams are likely already on their way to recover that pack. God help you if it has any dirt or blood on it.
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ever walk into a village and the kids there DON'T run out asking for candy and pencils while dropping f-bombs and racial slurs in perfect english? This place is creepy like that. Either this was previously Army and they barely bothered to check-in (but I repeat myself), Or every adult here is AQI/Taliban/Antifa ----------------
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Isn't this the subforum where threads auto close if they go however long without a new post? McNally sent us here to die. ----------------
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:i'm from europe and I don't think i've ever met a marine - what are they like? well first off its Marines so jot that down ----------------
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I never did any gay poo poo with my Marine bros. But I definitely partook in fingers up assholes through thin layers of fabric while gleefully shouting PLOOP! OIL CHECK! gently caress you fite me ----------------
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free hubcaps posted:Do the marines have an equivalent of the Navy's "it's not gay if youre under way" Yeah: "It's gay.. ... LOL" ----------------
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Our DADT Repeal brief was held in the range office right after weigh-ins. A dozen Marines in their tiny soft green shorts, being mad about the spectre of anal rape.
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As a champion of diversity, I kept my shirt off for the whole thing, And then stood, Pinched my cheek, And shouted through distended face flesh, HEY BROS, IT'S ONLY SKIN And proceeded to rapidly shake my cheeks, evoking the simulated sounds of the heretofore forbidden act of romantic turd pushing. Everybody stood and clapped (my cheeks). ----------------
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I still laugh every time I remember that Camp Fallujah sold only non-lubricated condoms. War is hell, I mutter to myself as I spit a big ol goober on my peener ----------------
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Where do I direct my FOIA requests to for all the Drone footage of me blowing massive loads on watch off the balcony of an Afghan Warlord's mansion?
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Where do I direct my FOIA requests for all the Drone footage of me blowing massive loads on watch off the ramshackle walls of a derelict post in Al Anbar? Where do I direct my FOIA requests for all the Drone footage of me blowing massive loads on watch off the side of a 7 ton Where do I direct my FOIA requests for all the Drone footage of me blowing massive loads on watch off the side of an MRAP Where do I direct my FOIA requests for all the Drone footage of me blowing massive loads on watch off the side of an Iraqi Police Station ----------------
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I have sown my seed. And from mine sticky dribbles the tree of liberty will grow.
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PathAsc posted:I loving love this thread I "pissed" in a mojave sandstorm and by "pissed" I mean I exposed my peener to the elements and the drip drops rip rocked all up and over my entire being. Pee in my mouth, pee in my pocket. And yet, No pee at all gently caress your FOIA request. Your piss/EDIT: AND/OR JIZZ belongs to the desert. ----------------
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Every night I crank myself to sleep thinking about piling hot-off-the-printer FOIA requests all over AOC. Her goony boyfriend walks in and sees my massive pile of government redtape strewn across her desk and I stutter and utter UM UM UM UM ITS FOR THE TROOPS Confused by patriotic duty, he slinks off back to their Manhattan apartment while AOC and I record tik toks of each other dancing and unraveling the brittle corpse of beauacracy stunting this nation's inherent desire for socially progressive legislation to lift the tide of all mankind's lovely little post-industrial life boats. And then I blow a chesty puller sized load on her big ol butt while her pale-faced weirdo bf yanks it in the corner because we forgot to lock the door to the entire 77th floor of George Soros' Horcrux tower or wherever it is cute senators drag their big brave internet posters to for a one-off night of danger-close hyper-fertile explosions w/time delay fuzes (lol that's USMC speak for MAKING BABIES u virgins wouldn't understand) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) ----------------
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free hubcaps posted:I had no idea there was so much cum and piss in the marines! Neat!! my bad, posting friends. Those are good rules. bird food bathtub posted:That's a pretty chill probe avatar. Got a kitten just chilling, sipping cat Mai Tais. Aw man I missed it ----------------
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Even the prob image is nice here Any locals wanna get hitched? I'll split my BAH with you ----------------
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I enlisted ironically But thankfully my drill instructors helped me understand: I enlisted because I hated myself and only through absurdity and violence would I be redeemed. ----------------
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You don't really see people in society pterodactyl shrieking spit into unsuspecting strangers mouths And yeah, that's totally okay. Probably a win, in fact. ----------------
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# ¿ Sep 1, 2024 04:07 |
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Dear Family, Today at boot camp I walked wrong, And a psychopath with bulging neck veins threatened to do sex crimes to my face if I ever walked wrong again. I still don't know how one walks wrong. ----------------
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