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Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

Qubee posted:

Post it anyway! I take it just adding sugar to a recipe will cause the yeast to go into overdrive and cause overproofed dough? And sorry to everyone, I always post the most longwinded poo poo ever instead of just getting straight to the point.

Have you considered a career in recipe blogging

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Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

poo poo POST MALONE posted:

So this might be a dumb question, but when you list ingredients in grams, does that mean you're weighing out your dry ingredients rather than measuring them volumetrically?

This is a really baffling question

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
I have no idea how making pasta is anything but a two person job, one to crank and the other to feed and collect on the other side, with the extra hand used for additional pasta support when it gets super long and stretched

I wouldn't even bother trying by myself, it'd be miserable getting the dough caught on poo poo and pulling itself apart

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

BrianBoitano posted:

e: ^^^ I almost exclusively make it alone because wife is usually making sauce or drinks. Best tip for making it un-fiddly is to form it into a continuous loop so you don't have to keep feeding free ends in and worry about getting the angle off. For 200g flour I usually cut it into 4 portions, which end up about 4-5 ft long but since it's in a loop you don't need to stretch out that long to control it :yeah:

e2: found an image


That's a neat trick, but when do you need to be feeding the dough through continuously for making a loop to be worthwhile? I thought the idea is repeatedly folding the dough in on itself in the first stages and then gradually moving down the roller thicknesses until you get to the thinnest, and then cutting into whatever shape you want, where the loop would also not be useful.

Edit: unless you tighten the rollers while the dough is still in the loop? In which case I can see the utility

Anyway I made tagliatelle last weekend with my girlfriend and she's a good helper so at least it's a process we can enjoy together, next time I wanna make tortellini from scratch

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
If I have some chicken breast in the fridge that was due to be used by 23rd but was in the freezer for 3 days it should be fine to cook and eat tonight right?

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Or you lean into that aspect of them and make delicious things like roasted aubergine dip or smoked aubergine cheese sauce, basically any turkish recipe because they know what they're doing with aubergines

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

Bagheera posted:

Pasta fail.

I usually make lasagna with store bought dried pasta.

A few months ago I bought a pasta roller and made fresh linguine and loved it.

Today I decided to make lasagna with fresh pasta. Except...I didn't boil the lasagna sheet first. (facepalm)

Now I have a delicious Bolognese and amazing mozzarella layered with wet flour. I'm trying to strip the sauce and cheese out from the pasta so I can improvise a spaghetti sauce.

Would it not have cooked in the sauce anyway? When you make lasagna with dry sheets you're supposed to boil them intentionally underdone because they finish cooking in the oven. Seems that would be enough time for fresh pasta to cook through in there.

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
I think for mash it's only for colour, consistency and textural reasons. Lots of famous/YouTube chefs do it (Babish even uses white pepper so as to keep the colour pale and unblemished) so I think other people follow suit.

Personally I'm fully with you, I think it's actively detrimental to peel potatoes for mash, but then I like mixing all kinds of poo poo into my mash (greek yoghurt, pesto, mustard, leeks) so some skin doesn't stand out.

For roast potatoes then yes peeling is necessary.

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Carrots no, ginger I've been actively enjoying peeling since my girlfriend showed me how easy it is to do with a spoon although I can see that the skin probably wouldn't be noticable once cooked

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Ok this must be some weird UK/American schism because roast potatoes, like you would have with a Sunday dinner, are absolutely always peeled and then usually par boiled and chuffed up so that when they roast they get a larger surface area to crisp up and carry whatever flavours you roast them with

Is it possible you think I mean baked potatoes? Because obviously they need the skin

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
I like to roughly chop it into cookies

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
I hope you mean 350 F and not 350 C because that’s your answer if not.

Also I’m not a baking expert but more than most other forms of cooking it’s much more of an exact science so quantity, temperature and cookware will all have a big effect on the finished product. The sooner you buy an electric scale and start measuring by weight instead of using cups the better. Using a wider dish like you did will result in a shallower mix and thus it will dry out quicker in the middle as it cooks so you should adjust the cooking time accordingly. Also only you can know the properties of your own oven/equipment and it’s very important to learn how accurate it is and thus know whether you need to adjust the cooking time up or down compared to the time in the recipe. The best way of doing this is by running a couple of ‘control’ experiments where you follow a recipe to the letter to eliminate the possibility of other variables.

I’ve never gone wrong with this banana bread recipe, although it sounds like you’re trying to recreate a specific banana bread you’ve had before. I will say your recipe looks like there’s just not enough of anything - have you halved it? That might also contribute to it drying out quicker in the oven.

Edit: eyeballing the ratio of ingredients and I think the biggest problem is how little fat/oil there is, so I think you definitely need more butter or nut butter (I have no idea if that’s an acceptable substitute but I’m thinking probably no, you need more fat). What time you add the Kahlua shouldn’t be an issue.

Butterfly Valley fucked around with this message at 23:45 on Apr 11, 2020

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Have you considered YouTube? Free and instantly available, and for a lot of techniques its gonna be better to actually see them in action.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLt_lOWx8jR_MNAJCbcDuZxh-GouBligY1

This is a channel off the top of my head that has some fairly decent basic instructional videos, although I'm sure other people will have better suggestions

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

Picayune posted:

What are some good brands of digital kitchen scales? Accurate, quick to update the displayed weight, nice flat surface to put a bowl on?

Doesnt this describe literally any pair of digital scales? You don't need to spend more than 15 moneys on them

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

TatoPancakes posted:

I've recently had cravings for grilled cheese and have such developed a mild addiction to it, I've tried using cheddar, mozzarella, gouda and I think that's a combination that's working for me so far. But I want MORE, added ham and bacon to the mix too, wondering, what are goon's favorite stuff to put in grilled cheese to really amp it up and make it more than what we had as kids?

Worcestershire sauce or marmite

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Run them under water if you want it done immediately or just leave the freezer bag in a bowl of water and they'll defrost within half an hour, then pat dry before roasting

Raw sprouts are pretty firm so I doubt a bit of freezer ice will turn them into mush

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

Salvor_Hardin posted:

Yeahhh I was going to call the restaurant but I really like them and am on a first name basis with the owner and main staff. I just know the the shame they would feel knowing this happened and don't want to inflict that. I'm kind of pathologically empathetic toward service employees.

This is absolutely one of those cases where you need to be cruel to be kind, if they're delivering undercooked meat to customers they would definitely rather find out from a sympathetic and kind customer than angry internet reviews or just people stopping using them altogether.

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Hello, how can I go about turning this recipe vegan? I’m making it in honour of my sister’s vegan girlfriend’s birthday, even if she can’t actually eat any of it. My friend said he reckons vegan banana bread is better anyway, and you just need to swap the butter for oil and add more bananas. So for the recipe I linked, can I do a 1:1 swap butter for sunflower oil, and then add an extra banana? Or is there some other technique - bearing in mind I can’t go to the shops today so can only use what I have to hand, so nothing super specialist.

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

TychoCelchuuu posted:

Does it need to be this recipe? There are probably about as many vegan banana bread recipes out there as there are vegans. Any reason you can't use one of those?

Yeah I was just having tunnel vision because that's my tried and trusted recipe, I did as you both advised and found a specialised vegan one, although in this case it really is nearly as simple as swapping butter for oil and adding extra banana

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

Bollock Monkey posted:

For future reference, both dates and prunes go extremely well in (vegan) banana bread and add a nice sticky sweetness without needing chocolate or anything.

Not a bad idea, this one I made could have been a little sweeter although a more savoury result isn't the worst thing in the world

Squashy Nipples posted:

At least you learned something.

Although the kind of oil you sub for butter matters a lot. But yeah, some quick breads don't need many changes.

Of course! I'm glad for the excuse to try because in the future I'll have more opportunities to cook for sister's girlfriend and I like trying new things.

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

Farking Bastage posted:

Parsley: I use in some herb crusts and as a garnish, otherwise I have no idea.

I picked up using parsley more like a salad vegetable than a herb from Turkey, at the place I lived you could grab handfuls of it to eat with your breakfast platters but it works with anything vaguely Mediterranean. I use it in salads with spinach or rocket, drizzle a little olive oil on it with tomatoes, serve with with omelettes, chop it into risotto, have it in breakfast wraps etc

Its also an excellent natural breath/palate cleanser, their preferred serving of fried liver and freshly chopped white onion comes with a huge pile of parsley for exactly this reason

Also make casserole stews with dumplings and load your dumplings up with basically any combination of your herbs

Butterfly Valley fucked around with this message at 21:11 on May 12, 2020

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Re: cheese, cauliflower cheese. I made this confit garlic cauliflower cheese for a side at christmas dinner and it was my favourite part of the meal. Would be great with any roast meat.

Also couldn't you make a shitload of cheese sauce and freeze it in portions?

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Ginger is definitely good but there's ginger already in the green curry paste. I like to add big slices at the start and fry them for some different texture. To address your points: you don't need to drain anything from the coconut milk. Just shake the can vigorously before you open it. Tofu is fine as is but bland, it benefits from being marinaded in whatever beforehand but if you don't have time for tonight's dinner that's fine. Aubergine benefits from being sliced and left to sit in salty water for a while before cooking, this helps draw out the moisture from it and being in water stops it from browning.

My general cooking order is frying in peanut oil the firmer vegetables that need more cooking time (carrot, onion, ginger) first for 5 minutes, then adding the ones that need less cooking time later (pepper, courgette I sometimes use, green beans, aubergine would probably be good at this point) and frying for another 5 minutes. Then I add some chopped garlic, chili, and 2 spoons of red or green curry paste, and fry that for a minute or two. Then add the can of coconut milk and simmer for another 10 minutes or so. Chopped coriander goes in at the end, along with a tbsp of fish sauce and a tsp of sugar in red curry.

I also cook like 1/5 of the can of coconut milk in with the thai jasmine rice, it's good. I cook my chicken breast separately and add that to the curry after the coconut milk but you could fry it with everything else from the start.

This is for 2 people.

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
'Handpie' lmao it's a pasty

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Is 'chevre' the new 'bleu' in the genre of Americans unnecessarily adopting French words for foods that are not actually French?

To answer the question, I'm sure it would taste ok but depending on the consistency of the cheese it's not gonna act the same as the cream in the recipe. Plus shrimp and goats cheese sounds awful.

Butterfly Valley fucked around with this message at 23:58 on May 20, 2020

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Hünkar beğendi is one of my favourite turkish meals and involves a smoked aubergine cheese bechamel sauce topped with roasted lamb stew and it's fuckin banging.

This looks like a decent English language recipe for it

Smoked aubergine dip in general is a great mezze.

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Dijon is just a stronger mustard so unless you have any other mustard kicking around just use the american, but it won't taste as good. You could add more mustard to compensate but it'll obviously make the salad yellower.

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
I have some chicken thighs defrosting and a packet of chorizo cooking sausages I wanna make a casserole with later today, using up some other ingredients in my fridge like carrots/leeks/celery. Does anyone have a recommended chicken and chorizo stew recipe or should I just trust my own instincts and wing it, basing my recipe on other chicken thigh casseroles I've made recently?

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
It's currently bubbling away and filling my flat with incredible smells so all is good

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Is there a GWS discord I can join for future food question related needs

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Could I have an invite please

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

captkirk posted:

I've got a pound of zucchini to eat. Only things I can think of are zucchini bread or the standard roast in oil and seasoning. Any recommendations?

Also, I'm looking at going from using a sodastream to using a DIY setup. Does anyone know if there exists a carbonator cap that fits the soda stream bottles? Figured it would be nice to use them as long as I got em.

Mücver are Turkish courgette fritters and they're delicious and easy to make

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
I was fired from my job as a bar/restaurant manager because apparently I was giving away free drinks, doing coke in the toilets and shagging waitresses in the cellar, none of which was true

I was doing drugs and shagging waitresses back at my house but that wasn't the point, the other manager was conning the owners and stealing money which I was in the process of figuring out when he preempted me by making all that poo poo up to the boss men

gently caress hospitality

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

excellent bird guy posted:

I want some really good vegetables to eat in a sort of spicy Indian/Thai curry. I know I like onions + mushrooms. My goto is carrots and celery but I don't like them that much. I was thinking maybe Radish or something. Anything particularly good?

Roast butternut squash or sweet potato in Thai curries

Thinly sliced whole ginger

Bell peppers as you call them

Courgettes

Whoever recommended broccoli because the florets soak up sauce is 100% correct

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
I worked in a Turkish kitchen every summer for years and for pretty much every preparation of Aubergines that didn't involve roasting them we'd slice them and brine them for half an hour or so

I used to hate Aubergines until I ate the myriad varieties of Turkish recipes using them and now I fuckin love them

These were very fresh locally grown vegetables so maybe that concurs with the other dude's posts

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

Cicero posted:

My wife really likes salt & vinegar chips, but complains that the ones we get here in Munich are insufficiently vinegar-y. Is it possible to add extra vinegar yourself to those chips (or regular chips I guess)? Or is that effectively impossible after they've already been cooked and processed?

Have you tried finding British brands? Tyrrells sea salt and cider vinegar are great. Kettle Chips (an American brand I know) balsamic vinegar and sea salt and singarly responsible for my weight gain during lockdown. If those aren't vinegary enough then I'm out of ideas.

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Roasting garlic properly is super easy, just chuck the whole cloves in unpeeled but with a small amount of the tops cut off (if cooking for a few people, just use a whole head) and then squeeze it out like delicious garlicky toothpaste

Or make confit garlic, which is just heating a whole head of garlic in oil over a very low heat for 30 minutes or so. Then use the oil to roast your potatoes in and save the garlic for later or eat it with the spuds.

Don't use garlic powder.

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
1. Check out people don't give the slightest gently caress what you're buying and just want you to be a polite and efficient customer who isn't going to make their day terrible. Unless you're buying some really obviously weird selection of items like peanut butter, lube and dog treats.

2. It doesn't matter what other people think of what's in your trolley in the slightest, even if they did give a poo poo (they don't). If you do live in a society where buying vegetables marks you out as someone to be mocked then the problem is with the society, not you, and you absolutely shouldn't want to conform.

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

therobit posted:

Anyone have a good chicken and dumplings recipe for the slow cooker? Nearly all of the ones I find out there use cream of chicken soup, and I generally avoid recipes that call for canned soup.

I know it's not the same but here are two chicken and dumpling casserole recipes I've made and really enjoyed; I figure you could adapt them fairly easily to a slow cooker.

Edit: on double checking, the first recipe includes slow cooker instructions at the bottom, you can apply those to the second recipe too

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Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
I'm reminded of the death at the start of a six feet under episode (best tv series of all time watch it) where some world weary old dude is surrounded by his bickering family then in a moment of peace goes to open a can of peaches and tucks into them, a look of bliss on his face before immediately dying of diabetes

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