SA's Greatest Sagas: Start reading on page 302 (turt)

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > SA's Greatest Sagas: Start reading on page 302 (turt)

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

The Saddest Rhino posted:

Guilty Goon Confession: I've never been clear on whether there was context behind Rib Kid beyond "some kid who loves ribs, presumably a goon." Is there any such context?

# ¿ Jan 10, 2020 08:15

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 02:54

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Jastiger was a long-term lovely poster (highlights: being obsessed with Lena Dunham, hating the South, comically proud of living in Iowa) who eventually got permabanned for creeping in PMs to random women who posted photos in PYF. Mostly just a creep.

# ¿ Jan 10, 2020 08:23

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

The Saddest Rhino posted:

ANIME GUYS THREAD

goddamn that thread was magic

# ¿ Jan 10, 2020 09:00

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Oxxidation posted:

definitely not him, before the gay-rape thing he was totally banal

My favorite forums sagas are when some random nobody suddenly busts out amazing oversharing, terrible ideas, or criminal confessions. You've got the guy who dumped his fairy-torture fanfic into the Minecraft thread with no lead-in, the long-time YOSPOS poster who confessed to anal rape out of nowhere (yes, a second unprovoked anal-rape confession; bless this mess), the guy LPing some boring Fire Emblem hack who started talking about his fetishes...

# ¿ Jan 11, 2020 04:38

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Ghost Leviathan posted:

There was also the guy who pasted the wrong text into a E/N post, the 'sporadically ejaculating filth hound' one.

Pretty sure that was a deliberate joke. A good joke, but still.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2020 05:03

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Somewhere in an alternate universe SA, there's a goldmined "asked some crazy dude in the park if he was holding, guy threw a pizza at me and ran, WTF?" thread

EDIT: Also, yeah, I feel like about 95% of the time, a guy eating a supermarket pizza alone on a park bench is holding, and if he isn't he's probably out right now but knows a guy.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2020 04:15

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I don't want to go too hard on defending EPW, and pseudo-incest erotica is gross as poo poo, but goons condemning EPW for writing completely imaginary porn and being 100% cool with darkpriest (who made live-action porn and was way creepier) in the same era was pretty clear-cut bias.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2020 04:10

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

The Saddest Rhino posted:

was it changed usernames (deadnames lmao) or just a separate incident? I kept thinking the paedo is TheSaurus, who also somehow posts on some forum for people with dicks that are too big

I still cannot get over TheSaurus describing his dick as "first percentile." It's a total pedant laugh but ahahahahaha holy poo poo dude

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 09:23

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I don't know anything about Yobgoblin besides "posts word salad," but this sounds like a loving trip. Deets?

# ¿ Jan 24, 2020 13:14

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

twistedmentat posted:

Yea that happened. I also remember from the TVTopes threads was the people who wrote a million words on how the magic system worked or how their totally not Hogwarts Magic school was organized but never actually wrote their story. Do they not know how writing actually works?

There were a lot of people on TVTropes who were experts on every part of the creative process except actually creating. My favorites were the ones who would add their own thing to various trope pages as examples, and then if you looked further, you'd find that the "work" in question existed as elaborate character bibles and timelines but no story, every fuckin' time.

My other favorite TVTropes story is the guy who wrote about how the main character of his story was in the big fight versus the boss and the MC didn't have enough healing potions to win/survive, and presented this as an objective fact that he was helpless to change, despite several people yelling YOU'RE THE AUTHOR JUST REWRITE IT. In retrospect, it was very much LitRPG, except with the author as a player.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2020 00:48

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Some of those survive. I go back to this one for laughs every now and again:
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/EndlessConflict

I think this was the one I was thinking of! Calling it "Endless Conflict" was so on the nose, although I guess to end, something has to begin first.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2020 01:01

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

twistedmentat posted:

BTW I am curious about why TVtropes threads no longer exist in PYF. I figure either too much drama or maybe just all the comedy was mined from the site.

As someone who posted in them towards the end, I can say that they really just got mined out, and the tone of the thread was getting too angry. Mock threads have a life cycle, and the TVT thread was definitely in end stage.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2020 09:04

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

gandlethorpe posted:

Can someone give a rundown on JasTiger? Some dweeb Pete stan in D&D dem primary thread was outed as a rereg.

Garbage poster with a side of sex pest. Posted a lot about hating the south, being proud of living in Iowa, and an uncomfortable erotic fascination with Lena Dunham. Finally got perma'd for creeping on female goons in PMs.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2020 21:59

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

hallelujah posted:

lmao

one of the recent competitors for australia's prime ministership was given a hotdog at a pr event and instead of starting at one end and working through as is the time-honoured tradition, he started eating it from the middle

Like... bit it in half and then ate the ends? Or nibbled on it like a cob of corn? I am baffled and troubled

# ¿ Feb 7, 2020 00:17

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Kazinsal posted:

I expected the "political leanings" he was talking about to be chuddery, considering that screencap, but apparently he meant having gender neutral bathrooms in his studio and a bunch of visible minorities in the game's cast of characters made him look like a "woke bro" to legions of angry gamers?

I don't even know what to say other than good effort on not being a standard gamer, too bad for him what you post on SA in the early 2000s stays around forever.

From what I've heard, there wasn't really any backlash; the game was just a wet fart and he's trying to spin its failure as being political.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2020 03:56

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Ghostlight posted:

I vaguely recall there was some trainwreck goon who on top of some other drama was very insistent about how difficult it was having a dick just too gosh darn large for his girlfriend to "handle".

Was that the first dude on the forums to call his penis "girthy?" Because holy poo poo, that's still hilarious.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2020 10:14

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Miss posted:

i want to hear more about what a trainwreck it was. because all I remember seeing was somebody on twitter (void?) saying they were thinking about making people pay for a monthly subscription to post LPs there

I deeply regret that we never got the saga of people paying money to post their LPs in the Cool Kids Forum for their shot at superstardom, because you know there would have been some

# ¿ Feb 11, 2020 02:39

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

LadyPictureShow posted:

Were they the posters that started a thread about budgeting for a wedding, but it turned out a large portion of their income went to Star Wars memorabilia (and maybe food delivery)?

Blue Story was the Star Wars memorabilia person, who was regrettably already married; they were budgeting for a baby

# ¿ Feb 11, 2020 11:27

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Pick posted:

when supernatural is off the air this will stop happening

I'm pretty sure Supernatural fandom pivoted to having the one generic guy gently caress the trenchcoat angel instead of the other generic-guy brother, but yeah, can't hurt

# ¿ Feb 14, 2020 01:56

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

weed cat posted:

I remember at one point Y-Hat and several other posters lost some kind of Toxx challenge and had to take a selfie holding a sign that was then set as their avatars. They looked as goony as expected. I don't remember any details beyond this but would like to see that thread again without sifting through y-hat's entire post history for something that happened like, 7 years ago.

Was this the "WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE" thread? I remember seeing people with a person holding that sign as their avatar, although iirc it was always the same picture.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2020 02:52

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

High-quality meltdown in QCS, in which a rando martyrs himself for the honor of... that YOSPOS dude who confessed to anal rape? And that you should be allowed to post about how erect you are while thinking about panties? And how his posting identity is a real persona, not a "toon?"

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 03:05

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Shoehead posted:

I feel like something like that happened with someone who was lping a romhack of a Fire Emblem game they'd made

Yeah, he was LPing a pretty boring romhack, then started talking about his future LP ideas, one of which was for a game called "Gender Bender DNA Twister Xtreme" or something like that -- the other games may also have been porn trash? I just remember that he talked about which of his fetishes each of the games he was considering hit. It was an amazing, completely unprompted own goal.

e:f,b

# ¿ Mar 17, 2020 10:32

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Pick posted:

We've had murderers here before, and the rule has always been that if you served your time that you were still allowed to post.

Isn't there a regular poster in Games who had to abandon an LP because he killed someone in a drunk-driving accident, but is now back and posting? Maybe nobody died, but I definitely recall the "got busted for DUI, l8r dudes" post.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 10:24

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I'm guessing AFD joke, but if not, hoo boy

# ¿ Apr 1, 2020 05:13

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I just hope the quails are okay, tbh

# ¿ Apr 8, 2020 02:51

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I feel like there's a difference between the people who made credible, or at least possible, threats vs. the one who threatened to kill the president via phantasmagorical vaginal absorption

# ¿ Apr 8, 2020 23:30

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

oldpainless posted:

Permabans are easily worked around if you have even the slightest amount of hacker skill

gotta phone phreak back onto the forums so everyone can know how I feel about various fast-food restaurants

# ¿ Apr 9, 2020 00:39

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Inceltown posted:

Yobgoblin got a 100,000 probe on '17. Had it lifted Jan 7 this year only to be perma'd by Jan 9.

Wasn't Yobgoblin a turbo-creep? I could swear I'd heard things about them sending a bunch of creepy PMs.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2020 23:40

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Sir Not Appearing posted:

So is LF where people like TS12 posted? When his obit was posted in 2012, it was the first time I realized that the Somethingawful.com Comedy Forums had a whole other side of very serious posters posting in forums I was unaware of and jumping off bridges in the name of women's studies.

Anne Whateley posted:

It was one specific bro of his that he recommended a class to, not the world afaik. But yeah it was because he was freaking out about the cop thing and thought his life was over

Didn't it turn out that he was also dealing with some really serious life trauma (IIRC he'd been sexually assaulted and nobody'd taken it seriously)? I don't remember the details exactly, but I definitely remember reading some details that turned it from "peak LF" to "this was actually a really troubled person and this isn't funny anymore."

# ¿ Apr 16, 2020 00:13

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

pentyne posted:

I saw a slice of the TGRS drama in that a new mod or whoever who wasn't considered acceptable by the forum stars got poo poo on endlessly for "not understanding the culture"

Maybe that was true, but one of the key points was that mod referred to trans poster as being "extra" and then was dogpiled for trans slurs.

Is saying some is being a little extra a slur?

Telling trans people they're being overdramatic is in the same boat as the posters who were telling the black mod he was being aggressive: not a literal slur, per se, but an argument commonly used to dehumanize and belittle the groups in question. Not a good look for anybody.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2020 19:11

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Grandmother of Five posted:

I hope that the next forums-wide announcement will be the result of a slightly less heated thing, like instead of a reminder about not making death threats or harassing anyone, it'll be like an informative bulletin from Pet Island, reminding everyone cross-site to not feed ducks bread.

"IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: y'all should go look at the House Bunny thread, there are some extremely good bunnies in there, OK peace out"

# ¿ Apr 25, 2020 07:53

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Piss Meridian posted:

Is this a new racist term

Nah, Weapon Brown was some dude's incredibly tryhard webcomic about muscular cyborg Charlie Brown in a grimdark future, or something? Mostly notable because he self-promoted constantly in the comics form, iirc, and then posted a bizarro transphobic rant in D&D and melted down about the response at length.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2020 04:55

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

BrigadierSensible posted:

This is the origin of the phrase "Hello, I'm from the internet." isn't it?

I thought this was from the kid who'd used his parents' credit card to buy like $3000 of weight-loss drugs, and a goon blew the whistle on it?

# ¿ May 8, 2020 06:14

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Bundy posted:

Awesome thanks! Jeffrey should rescue that thread!

This just makes me imagine a Goldmine subsection or companion forum for classic threads that are in no way good, but are infamous enough not to be buried in the Septic Tank. Just full-bore THIS IS NOT A PLACE OF HONOR.

# ¿ May 10, 2020 10:25

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Improbable Lobster posted:

their page on the sex offenders registry was linked in an old yospos bitcoin thread

This is one of the most perfectly SA sentences I have ever read

# ¿ May 11, 2020 02:47

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

goddammit, I was going to make a joke about "the only way it would be more peak SA is if fishmech did the doxxing" and welp

# ¿ May 11, 2020 03:18

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Hasn't at least one person actually done the insane "buy a bunch of avs for randos to preach about being mistreated on the forums" thing? Like, an avatar of a Mega Man character in front of a US flag, and red text with a blog URL? This was long enough ago that I haven't seen one of these in the wild in forever, but I distinctly remember this.

# ¿ May 12, 2020 12:29

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I feel like we're about three days or five accounts, whichever comes first, from getting a lengthy screed about puppetmastering a social experiment

# ¿ May 12, 2020 12:59

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Can you taxidermize a dead website? Asking for a friend

# ¿ May 14, 2020 02:30

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 02:54

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Shifty Nipples posted:

I had to google that poo poo cause I was imagining Lowtax getting beat down by fish fins.

The terrible secret of the Rowdy Trout

# ¿ May 16, 2020 01:13

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > SA's Greatest Sagas: Start reading on page 302 (turt)

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