|
So im trying to eat more spicy foods so im not such a loving punk, and yesterday i had the worst case of burning bum ive had in ages, my rear end in a top hat blazed hotter than the sun. Got me wondering how the real spice champs deal with it, do they just have calloused harded tush rings? Do you take poop breaks to splash milk on it? Do they get it replaced after each meal? Please help enlighten me so i can eat spicy foods like a regular masochist
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:07
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 22:30 |
|
|
Cut out the middle man and just stick spicy food right up your rear end
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:08
|
|
|
Soft serve ice cream enemas. Duh, op.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:09
|
|
|
Its just about building tolerance OP.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:13
|
|
|
Before you poop rub vaseline around/in your butthole; also watch out for the toilet monster. They love spicy lubed buttholes.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:15
|
|
|
Poop with your mouth.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:15
|
|
|
have your wife or a trusted cousin rub a cube of ice around your butt hole until it is fully melted. you should feel numb.   now ur ready 2 eat
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:22
|
|
|
Snort lines of cayenne. Makes everything feel better.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:26
|
|
|
If you don't enjoy the pleasure of the pain, then you aren't ready for the spice.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:30
|
|
|
Is this actually a thing? I feel like it's a common joke but I've never experienced it, and I eat pretty spicy stuff that a lot of people wouldn't touch.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:34
|
|
|
just sit on a traffic cone
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:34
|
|
|
ArbitraryC posted:Is this actually a thing? I feel like it's a common joke but I've never experienced it, and I eat pretty spicy stuff that a lot of people wouldn't touch. If my rear end could talk it would fill your ears with tales of suffering and woe at the hands of the dastardly spice barrons of mouth town
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:36
|
|
|
RepeatingMeme posted:If my rear end could talk it would fill your ears with tales of suffering and woe at the hands of the dastardly spice barrons of mouth town There's gotta be just other issues with your diet then imo. Maybe not having enough fiber to dilute it or w/e I don't know. When I googled about spicy poops (that's unfortunately in my search history now) I noticed a lot of people seemed to experience it as a spicy diarrhea so they're probably just neckbeards eating spicy fast food and never consume anything remotely healthy so I'd try that first OP.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:38
|
|
|
Drink milk before or after your spicy meal
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:49
|
|
|
I don't think your rear end in a top hat is supposed to burn. Thats never happened to me.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:50
|
|
|
Make sure you have a large selection of hot sauce in your fridge at all times OP.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:51
|
|
|
I eat s lot of spicy food (my wife is from Sichuan) and I don't get spicy butthole. It's just tolerance I guess, just like your mouth lol.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:52
|
|
|
Eat spoonfuls of this with everything OP. 
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 18:55
|
|
|
If your foray into spicy is just Frank's red hot sauce then that's your problem.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 19:05
|
|
|
As Cain said to Able; blow it out your rear end OP!
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 19:08
|
|
|
Put the spicy food in a condom before swallowing it
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 19:09
|
|
|
Two words: Milk Enema
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 19:13
|
|
|
two words: colostomy bag
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 19:16
|
|
|
Spice rear end is 90% psychological so add some rohypnol to your meal and forget you ate it
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 19:16
|
|
|
two words: milkenema colostomybag
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 19:17
|
|
|
Start out small, as a previous poster said Frank's Red Hot won't gain you a lot of traction. It can take years, but by eating hotter and hotter sauces, and peppers (go from jalapeno to serrano to habanero etc) one day you can handle stupid-grade additive like megadeath, or some dried carolina reapers. Once you're finally ready, after many years of training, shove all of it right up your rear end. Right up there. Make sure it stays in your butthole.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 19:19
|
|
|
ArbitraryC posted:Is this actually a thing? I feel like it's a common joke but I've never experienced it, and I eat pretty spicy stuff that a lot of people wouldn't touch. Gotta second this. We eat spicy curries at least a few times a week and no one in my household suffers from spicy butt. My literal toddler eats curry and doesn't suffer the spicy poops.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 19:25
|
|
|
Spicy bum is a real thing for sure. For me it has to be REAL hot though like eating raw habanero hot or really spicy hot sauce. I don't find this that bad. The real problem I've faced when eating things like reapers/ghost other high capsaicin is actually strong cramping pains in my stomach/intestines. My most recent experience was doing the recent iteration of the death nut challenge. Sure my mouth burned, but the cramps that I experienced an hour or 2 later were way worse and I was praying for death. So by the time it exists my body the hot bum is actually a god send because the cramps are over. I've alway wondered how folks deal with this. I've seen some competitive eaters take pepto before hand I have no idea if this does anything though. ANY PRO TIPS?
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 19:34
|
|
|
I deal with a spicy butthole by pooping, OP
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 19:57
|
|
|
I quite enjoy the burning sensation after a hot shite. It's got great holefeel.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 20:00
|
|
|
I don't get no spicy butthole. But I've been eating spicy poo poo for my whole life. A good tip is to be not white. Being white apparently is the leading cause of the ol' spicy BUTTHOLE
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 20:11
|
|
|
This invokes mental images of surfing
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 20:13
|
|
|
What about the toilet monsters? If you are sweating profusely and straining you wont be able to move. Then they will gitch you. Is there a fecal non burnative alternative when eating spicy food?
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 20:13
|
|
|
You gotta enhance it with a lot of whiskey. Then you will get necro rear end.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 20:13
|
|
|
Gath posted:What about the toilet monsters? If you are sweating profusely and straining you wont be able to move. Then they will gitch you. Is there a fecal non burnative alternative when eating spicy food? i fear no toilet
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 20:17
|
|
|
Serious Reply: Mind your fiber and oil content. Capsaicin's the spicy molecule and it's fat soluble. Slow, greasy shits burn.
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 20:18
|
|
|
Accretionist posted:Serious Reply: Mind your fiber and oil content. This + eat dairy w/ it or before the capsaicin binds to the dairy proteins saving your butt hole the burn
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 20:26
|
|
|
Real talk: Greek Yogurt. Capsaicin spicy doesn't hurt on the other end for me, but AITC (horseradish, mustard) is an INVIGORATING START TO THE MORNING HOOOO
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 20:30
|
|
|
I have honestly never noticed spicy butthole syndrome or any kind of digestion issue from eating spicy food, and I like eating really fuckin spicy food. Like I only notice the spice burning sensation in my mouth\lips, after you swallow whatever you're eating it doesn't seem to just sit there burning your stomach indefinitely so why does it burn your rear end in a top hat? There is something else going on here and this phenomenon of spicy shittings needs further investigation imo
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 20:30
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 22:30 |
|
|
the worst part isn't the pooping imo, it's the lack of sleep because of stomach cramps at 3am
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2020 20:35
|
|
