spouse posted:

Content:

I think the marriage counsellor my wife and I are seeing has a crush on her.

ShootaBoy posted:

Children are not fully grown adults, and customary flowers are far different than seeking out even a cheap item of clothing specifically for one half of a client pair.

e: a half that is of the opposite sex

quote:

My sister (21F) is in college. She works as an RA so she lives with me for the summer and has for the past three years. Well, I’m (32F) a lot more mature than her in the sense that I have three kids (2F, 5M, 9M), am renting a house, and I’ve been married and divorced. My sister moved back about a week and a half ago and the kids— as they always are when they see their aunt— are just head over heels for her. My sister loves hanging out with the kids, but she does have a boyfriend whose place she sleeps over at a few nights a week, she does go over to her friend’s house, and she does have a summer job. This would be fine if the kids didn’t find it so upsetting. Now every night, they expect to be tucked in by both me and their aunt. If this doesn’t happen, then they throw a fit. When my sister leaves to go with her friends or work at her summer job, they throw a fit. It’s becoming a disruption because once one kid gets upset about it, the rest of them do as well.

I have to admit that I am a little jealous of how much the kids love her. My two year old has started calling her Mommy as well. My sister will be out laying on a blanket in the backyard and I’ll come out an see my five year old snuggling up to her. They’ll go into her room and snuggle when they have bad dreams at night. They’re all excited when she comes home. I’ll ask to play a game with them and they’ll say no and then they’ll ask my sister to play one with them instead.

Additionally, my sister isn’t exactly the best role model for my kids. She is really sweet and enjoys hanging out with them and as I’ve argued my kids LOVE her. However, she has a little meaningless tattoo on her wrist and another between her fingers, she has an ED and while she tries to hide it, the kids and I can hear her getting sick in the bathroom occasionally. Her boyfriend dropped her off the other night and the kids all watched as they kissed goodbye. She does have a mouth on her, but she does keep it away from the kids.

Like I said before, my sister has a boyfriend. She sleeps over at his place quite a bit of the time. I’m starting to think it would be better for the kids if she just started staying over there all the time. But since I did tell her she could move in, I do think that it might be unfair that I kick her out. Other than my brother who lives across the country. She really doesn’t have anywhere else to live if her and her boyfriend were to break up though.

WIBTA if I asked my sister to move out?

Evil Willow posted:

WIBTA if I asked my sister to move out?

quote:

Hi!

So, my friend circle has a kinda odd problem on our hands. We're all college students or recent graduates and have known each other for a few years. During that time, the friend in question has always seemed 'normal'. No mental health issues we were ever aware of.

She used to have a normal instagram profile: few hundred followers, normal content- travel snaps, pics of her dog, the works. Three months ago, her follower count skyrocketed from roundabout 450 to 7500 (!) overnight. I noticed, messaged her something along the lines of 'lol, did you go viral?' to which she replied 'appears so!'

Since then, we all noticed that the new accounts bear the hallmarks of being purchased bots: Their names are just random letters stuck together, they have no profile pictures, they all followe thousands of people whilst having almost no followers themselves. Also, they don't engage with her posts, so she now has 7500 followers and gets 20-30 likes per picture.

And there are a lot of pictures. Since the follower surge, she has taken to posting multiple times a day. Every outing with her descends into her making others take pics of her for her instagram. She photographs everything and interaction with her is extremely strenuous. She justifies all of this with her now being an 'influencer' who has to take instagram 'seriously'. She's starting to lose friends over this, as more casual acquaintances are not exactly happy about being an unpaid photographer and her focus on social media is distracting.

Gentle conversations ("maybe you should take a break from instagram..." or "have you noticed that a lot of your followers seem to be random accounts from India?") are met with defensive claims ("no, I have to take this seriously, you have to treat it like a job" and "yeah, that's my main locale").

I know this is a weird situation, but we're all worried. Has anyone ever dealt with something similar and can offer advice? Or someone who has bought followers in the past and can offer insight as to what's happening here?

Tl;dr: A friend has purchased thousands of bot followers for her instagram and now pretends to be an influencer. Her social media obsession is costing her friends. It is concerning and we don't know what to do. Help, please.

Evil Willow posted:

WIBTA if I asked my sister to move out?

teen witch posted:

My (23F) friend (26F) has evidently bought thousands of fake followers for her instagram and is maintaining an alternate reality in which she has become an instagram influencer. We are concerned about her mental health and don't know how to approach this. Advice appreciated.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for firing my bridesmaid?

quote:

My sister “Jess” (30/f) got married on Saturday morning, I (26/f) did not attend for a multitude of reasons, but primarily because I don’t care for her fiancé, “Jay,” and we don’t get along, so I figured I would skip to allow for them to have a happy time without me being a Debby downer and raining on their parade.

Due to the wedding, several family members were in town, some that I hadn’t seen for quite a few years and may not get to see again before they get too old or pass away as they are older or live out of the country.

Since I didn’t go to wedding, I figured that I would host a family dinner later in the evening from the wedding as most family members are scheduled to leave on Sunday or Monday and everyone would be split up.

The wedding began at 11 am and the dinner was scheduled to begin at 5pm. I do live about an hour from the venue, so I knew most people would be on the road by 4 pm but I figured that seeing as the wedding started at 11, 5 hours would be plenty of time for everyone to visit and mingle with Jess at the actual wedding.

At around 4:30 Jess called me, completely irate, yelling, swearing and just generally saying harsh things about how I’d stolen her guests and ruined her day in multiple ways, especially since I didn’t invite her and Jay to the dinner (again, the fiancé that I don’t get along with).

I didn’t beg anyone to come to the dinner nor did I pressure anyone and left it open to them all about whether or not they wanted to come (which most of them did). I thought this was a fine compromise since it would decrease the tension for everyone involved and make for smoother sailing, but Jess sent me an incredibly nasty message and has blocked me from her Instagram and Facebook. I’m unsure of whether or not she blocked my phone number or if she’s just not responding.

I didn’t think the dinner idea was so terrible, but my boyfriend feels like it was an a-hole move and that I should try and apologize to her, but I need more perspectives. So, AITA?

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA For having a family dinner after my sister’s wedding?


Lmao

quote:

Hey I’m new to reddit and typing this on my phone so I’m not sure how the formatting is going to turn out sorry I’m advance.

Now for the story I’m a 16 yo male who’s parents are divorced and I live with both 50/50 split. Anyways I keep a dream journal so that I can help remember my dreams. This dream journal is just an app on my phone with a password lock. My mom has always gone through my phone and such but I never had a problem with this as I either don’t have anything to hide or I am easily able to hide it as she isn’t very techy.

However one day she went through my phone and tried opening my dream journal and almost blew up when see saw that it asked her for a password. See said i was sneaking around and trying to undermine her. When I told her it was a dream journal she finally calmed down a bit asked me to open it up to which I said no. I feel that what goes on during my dreams, especially because I am not always in control of what happens, that I have the right to keep that to myself.

My mom however disagreed and took my phone and went to my girl friends house to try and get my phones password from her. She wouldn’t budge (huge shoutout to my gf). However her parents who I respect and have always kinda looked up to told me that I was being very mischievous because I wouldn’t unlock the journal.

When I went to my dads the next day I asked him about it and he told me that I should just let her see it which is what really made me start to think that I may be the unreasonable one. This is because if there was something my mom was doing wrong he would jump at the opportunity to poo poo talk her.

When I came back to my moms house a few days later she acted normal and gave me my phone back which was very surprising for her. Then again later in the week when I thought that it was all over and I don’t have to think about it any more my mom marches in my room grabs my phone out of my hands goes to my journal and unlocks it. I still have no idea how she got my password the only thing I can think of is one of my brothers ratted me out. In the heat of the moment my brain thought that the only way to stop her from seeing everything would be to grab the phone and delete the app as fast as possible. This was actually most likely true as I have no idea how to change the password on it and my brothers would have probably taken my phone before I could do it. I did this fairly easily and before she could call my brothers to help her stop me.

She was obviously pissed about me deleting the app and grounded me and all that. However the thing that was the worst was when she posted on Facebook about what I had done all of the people commenting were siding with her.

That journal really did mean a lot to me and I feel like what I did was spiteful as I doubt anything would have come from her looking at it. I just need some people to tell me what they think good or bad.

Update:

My attempts to regain my journal have been fruitless however I did email the devs to see if they maybe kept data for x amount of days. Still waiting to hear back.

For the people asking about anything that might have warranted my mom wanting to invade my privacy she thought she caught me do drugs once but I passed 4 tests and get tested regularly for sports. I have had “incidents” that look like I was trying to harm myself and I believe she may have interpreted them that way I have made every effort to show her that she is wrong.

HIJK posted:

I once had a friend in college who got really upset when I tried his "hot" chili and I told him it had no taste. Like yeah it was hot but the beans were mushy and it was watery and the beef was overcooked to the point of being rubbery. It had no taste regardless of how spicy it actually was. I told him that and he got really angry because apparently "spicy" is supposed to be a flavor.

But it's not. You need flavors in addition to heat, otherwise my tongue is just tingling and I'm annoyed because I'm sampling lovely chilly.

Barudak posted:

May 17th

In my dream last night I had a better family that loved me

May 18th

In my dream last night I had a better family that loved me

May 19th

That weird one about the whale who tells me sell sandwich recipes to local delis. Maybe the meat was off a little last night? Should let mom know

May 20th

In my dream last night I had a better family that loved me

DoctorWhat posted:

DreamingofRoses posted:

If he did really have a few instances of what appeared to the family to be self-harm, this isn’t necessarily them deliberately stepping over boundaries for shits and giggles, but an extremely ignorant attempt to try and watch out for more self-harm/possible suicidal inclinations. They need to actually see a therapist about the proper way to deal with that sort of thing, but it doesn’t mean they don’t love him.

Barudak posted:

Given he is in mandatory testing for drugs on top of already being drug tested based on hunches, his girlfriends parents went after him as well but just for disobeying, and his dad had a blase answer without any "oh poo poo what if he's ideating" panic Im going to assume hes not at any actual risk for what she's fretting about and may have a distorted own opinion of himself based on her.

That said, obviously OP can be editing like crazy and Im an rear end in a top hat so you know, I'll eat the hat of wrongness if needed.

Edit: I think partially this may hit close to home as I had a highschool friend whose mother convinced them they tried to kill themselves and thus needed to be watched by said mother at all times. It took years for him to realize that isn't at all what happened and that she was manipulating him to feel fearful about himself so he wouldn't leave her.

quote:

No she thought that she caught me once but I passed 4 drug tests and take them regularly due to sports. I’ve never intentionally tried to commit suicide but I’ve come drat close on accident on multiple occasions and I think my mom suspects that they weren’t accidents no matter how much I tell her.

DreamingofRoses posted:

Bolding mine. That’s from one of his comments, not the edit. He’s also refused therapy in the past, which is understandable since he’s a teenager. It also sounds like he’s from a lovely place and the adults in his family seem to reflect that.

Post Ironic Cereal posted:

Therapy becomes way more enticing as a teen when you realize you can bitch about your parents endlessly to a person who is legally obligated to not rat you out.

DreamingofRoses posted:

Bolding mine. That’s from one of his comments, not the edit. He’s also refused therapy in the past, which is understandable since he’s a teenager. It also sounds like he’s from a lovely place and the adults in his family seem to reflect that.

pentyne posted:

Hmm, garbage person, or trash fire person?

Barudak posted:

Help your sister with her Eating Disorder you loving poo poo

Post Ironic Cereal posted:

Therapy becomes way more enticing as a teen when you realize you can bitch about your parents endlessly to a person who is legally obligated to not rat you out.

Post Ironic Cereal posted:

Therapy becomes way more enticing as a teen when you realize you can bitch about your parents endlessly to a person who is legally obligated to not rat you out.

quote:

AITA for telling my counsellor about my mom

I’m f17 and I’ve struggled with multiple mental health issues for about 5 years. I’ve had many different counsellors and different types of therapies but none have been overly successful. I go to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) which is a free mental health service for kids in the UK.

Not long ago I was talking to my newest counsellor about my family life and the issues I faced with my mom stuck out quite a lot, she has physical disabilities as well as her own mental health issues so sometimes living with her is a lot to deal with and I told my counsellor this. They seemed understanding at first and I felt like I was finally comfortable opening up a bit till he brings my mom into the session and tell her everything I said (yknow in the spirit of “confidentiality”) he seemed to think it would help telling her and giving us strategies to cope but I already had a feeling this wouldn’t go well.

My mom played along in front of my counsellor but as soon as we got in the car to drive home she started screaming at me. She called me a “lying manipulative bitch” and said I shouldn’t blame her for all my issues and that if me and my siblings get put into foster care because of what I told him it will be all my fault. I cried a lot and got extremely upset because it didn’t seem to me like it was supposed to seem like she couldn’t take care of me or my siblings because she can and I don’t think he was thinking that either. But I was also quite angry because I thought how am I supposed to get better if I can’t tell my counsellor the things that bother me just because it’s not on my moms terms?

MAKE NO BABBYS posted:

The kid deserves privacy, reading people’s journals is always wrong and the mom loving SUCKS as a parent.

quote:

Hi All

My daughter "Ella" (11) is very academically bright. She gets full marks in all exams and assessments and has even made local news for completing mathematics and english tasks meant for much older children.

My sister's daughter "Holly" is the same age and attends the same school. The school are doing a play soon and are auditioning people. Holly is heavily into drama and performing. Ella never had much of an interest before but has decided that she wants to go for the lead role. I'm perfectly happy for her to go for it and I'm sure she'll be great. They both will.

I got a call from my sister yesterday, asking me if I would mind asking Ella to let Holly go for the role. She said that because Ella is constantly praised for her academic achievements, her daughter feels "overshadowed". She also said that Holly is quite a quiet, shy kid and the drama stuff is her way of expressing herself. I will admit that Ella is very loud, energetic and confident and loves attention. But that isn't a bad thing and she knows how to behave herself and doesn't try to push anybody out.

My sister said that drama is "Holly's thing" and said it isn't fair if Ella gets "another way to overshadow her".

In the kindest possible way, I've raised my daughter to be proud of who she is, and not to let other children's jealousy stand in her way. She would be devastated if I told her she couldn't got for the lead role because her cousin was jealous, so I won't be doing it.

AITA?

quote:

Hey, so to be perfectly honest the girls are not friends. They don't dislike each other but they just have very different personalities.

They've fought and argued in the past but it was a long time ago.

There have been jealousy issues in the past, but it's always from Holly's end because Ella gets so much attention from grandparents/extended family. I've always taught Ella to not waste her time thinking about people's jealousy.

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Except that they can.

There was a thread on reddit ages back where a girl's therapist told her mother everything she had said in therapy and it was all legal because she was a minor and lived in the UK.

Funktastic posted:

AITA for putting my daughter's needs before that of my niece?

quote:

I’ll probably get judged for all this but I’m pregnant with a guy I’m not dating. He’s nice and wants to be there for the kid so we are on friendly terms. So far, we’ve had no issues until I met his parents.

I met them on Saturday, everything was going great until baby shower talk came up. I was talking about the theme and his mom said “Son, did you tell her about the Princess thing?”

He didn’t. Apparently his brother has a daughter from another relationship named Princess that he’s not allowed to see. It’s a sore subject for him and he lives with the grandparents so he’s around often. They have requested that we don’t do any themed events, buy any clothes, decorations, etc with the word “Princess” on them. It’s just “too hard” for the brother.

I may be the rear end in a top hat here because I don’t even have strong urges towards Princess stuff. Much prefer soup colored baby rompers. That said, I’m incredibly annoyed at this request and told them absolutely not—if I see something cute that says Princess or my kid wants Princess stuff, I will buy it. This upset his parents and started saying “really? You’d rather cause someone pain than put down a drat Princess shirt?”

I’m not trying to cause pain but expecting me to restrict Princess from all things sounds completely unreasonable to me. I’m not particularly girly but even I went through a Princess phase and l love the children’s books “Fancy Nancy” so I’m sure I’m bound to stumble on some Princess stuff.

Edit because a lot of people asked. This is why the brother can’t see the kid: He gave up his rights so the kids step dad could adopt her and he’d be relieved of child support payments. They promised he’d still get to see the kid. After all was said and done they stopped letting him see her.

My baby’s dad believes he could see her if his brother put in effort but he doesn’t and just sulks about it instead.

ad090 posted:

AITA for refusing to eliminate Princess stuff from my daughter’s life

Tetramin posted:

Wow this person is awful. Not for not telling her kid to quit the play, but for everything else