A Wizard of Goatse posted:

gently I pinch your nostrils shut as I lower my anus over your mouth, filling you with farts. As methane replaces the oxygen in your blood you slowly turn blue and expand, and upon release you rocket off into the distance raspberrying like a deflated balloon, never to be seen again. It's better this way.

Guildenstern Mother posted:

I appreciate I'm coming to this as a person who cooks and is good at it, but if I was paying for all the expenses and the only contribution my partner was making was 3 dinners a week I'd be salty. I'm not saying in any way that he's not a total jackass, I want to be totally clear on that. "I'm tired from playing vidya" is indefensible.

edit: YES even if those 3 dinners included leftovers that carried us through.

Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:

My wife says what most ladies want is validation and to be loved for qualities intrinsic to them individually.

Maybe that's just her, but it could be a plausible hypothesis for why some folks ignore DIPAC so often.

Kenshin posted:

The point is you wouldn't call the same thing "pathetic" in English and then "pathetique" in French, it's different meanings even if there can be a small crossover.

That is, you might call a moving performance or beautiful piece of somber music "pathetique", but no native English speaker would refer to it as "pathetic"

Megillah Gorilla posted:

I'd look into getting one inflatable Godzilla costume and one inflatable Mothra.

Set up a fan underneath and have the wings flapping about while you do it.

Infidel Castro posted:

I worked 7 years managing a gas station and I sure as gently caress reacted the same way whenever I saw someone smoking by the pumps.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

It's unnecessarily dangerous and the clerk was right to make him stop immediately and raise his voice in the process, but come on now. The risk is still minimal and doesn't even come close to justify assaulting someone. It's one of those things where even though the chances of something going wrong are very low, the possible outcome is so bad and there's no real downside to just waiting a few minutes to smoke.

If anything a tire iron to the knee is more likely to make him drop the cigarette and cause an actual problem.

edgeman83 posted:

From the OP's further comments, they put the autistic child in a group home when they were 11, after they fought the state to pay for it. They had no excuse regarding not having time after that point to help their other children.

Hell, they have had YEARS to plan for the eventual need for someone to take care of the group homed one, but waited until they were in their 60s to do anything about it.

Inceltown posted:

If real those letters are probably worth more than the house.

quote:

Yeh- there's some very explicit images in the pile and whilst I had(ve) a crush on the guy, they were meant for GU's eyes only and I would feel awful if somehow pics got out.

Ocean of Milk posted:

Better people-understanders (or more active readers) than me may have suspected or even saw it from a mile away, but I was really caught off-guard by the cheating.

MagusofStars posted:

Also, who uses "Torkbuzz" as their fake name?

LadyPictureShow posted:

Husband angry I won’t change my name

Oh no his masculinity!

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

this is how my first habbo hotel gf died.

Griefor posted:

pentyne posted:

quote:

It’s electricity and involves tools, I truly had no idea.

Winter Stormer posted:

My wife’s family asked about my dating history and now she’s mad at me

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Yeah, I'm not sure how she'd be a Portable Networks Graphic image, either.

DemoneeHo posted:

Apologizing to Mom

Kurieg posted:

The Graphics Card of Amontillado

Evil Willow posted:

I'm [30M] going to be made homeless by my brother's [28M] wife [26F]

Serephina posted:

I don't know how to put this kindly, but you are a giant goddamn fool and as wrong as can humanly be possible. Opportunistic thefts can and do happen. I have personally been a victim of it, where an unlocked (but closed) front door was an invitation for someone walking down the street trying all the front doors. He walked into the bedroom where we where sleeping in order to steal the car keys (and other things) from a dresser. The police told me this is a common MO.

The police told me this is a common MO.

I just... don't know what to say. Don't loving advise people who live in town to leave their front doors unlocked, just because apparently nothing bad has happened to you yet? Something about not wearing seatbelts since you've never been in a car crash, etc etc.

John Wick of Dogs posted:

I mean dude you're the house sitter it's literally your job to lock up at night. If they thought the kid was gonna lock up they wouldn't need a house sitter. Nothing was stolen don't be a narc.

Gats Akimbo posted:

I can't imagine being enough of an rear end in a top hat not to post something like "ow poo poo sorry I see why you get so nervous fair enough" in reply to that bombshell though.

quote:

Things like "Who hurt you?" and "What was so bad in your childhood that you can't deal with an unlocked door?" and "What do you think was going to happen, someone was going to break in?

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Drugs don't make you do anything that some part of you don't want to do or feel compelled to do in the first place. That said, they can shut up the part of your brain that gives good reasons not to do those things.

That sounds like a very patient horse to let you give it a bad haircut while high.

blatman posted:

this checks out, I really just want to eat captain crunch by the fistful while watching aquarium livestreams for several hours but it's less depressing if i'm higher than the moon

MagusofStars posted:

IANAL, but I'm not sure how you'd prove this case even if there wasn't a legal time limit in play.

-Everybody involved with the original transaction is long dead and can't be put on the stand.

Funktastic posted:

AITA for throwing a cake on the ground at a family get together?

Prof. Spaceman posted:

Where are you getting that? From my reading, it seems like both kids have come to a revelation that their parents are trash who have been mentally abusing them both.

limp_cheese posted:

really opened my eye

Fruits of the sea posted:

I’m struggling to figure out what is impulsive about keeping an eye on the housing market and getting a low interest loan.

FortMan posted:

Surely, if you look hard enough, there should be something close to burger, nuggets, or fries, especially in Western restaurant?

hawowanlawow posted:

I hope y'all know in the future anyone will be able to instantly pull up any post you've made on any account

tactlessbastard posted:

In a previous iteration of this thread, someone fluent in autistic translated that to english and the jist of it was it really ruined OP's day to have this interruption in his schedule and that was further exacerbated by the fact that it should have ruined his sister's day too, but it seemed to have not and that was just really unfair.

The rest is just excruciating detail

Splicer posted:

He had a day off from school and is mad he spent it at the doctor's office. He doesn't like showering, but he got up late and was told he could skip showering. He then had to get in water anyway and is mad at the (perceived) bait and switch.

He doesn't like tight clothes, but has heard of or seen his sister or other girls/women deliberately wearing tight or revealing clothing for inexplicable reasons. If she'd held her hair up like in a shower he might have conceded that the showerlike situation might have outweighed her joy at wearing tight clothing, but since her hair was down she obviously must have been enjoying it.

So not only did he have to spend his day off at the doctors in tight clothes in water after being deceived into thinking he wouldn't have to get wet today, but his sister got to spend a whole 8 minutes in tight clothes and she didn't even have to hold her hair up.

Dik Hz posted:

The whole point of this thread is to be a smug judgmental person. Don't pretend you're better than us.

Mescal posted:

If she'd held her hair up... okay. I still have a few questions. Including: how does he know she holds her hair up in the shower, and why did they have to weigh them under water? Were the parents lying and they were... doing some other kind of test?

Cowslips Warren posted:

He says that a gray, shorthaired, glasses wearing person is not who he married.

packetmantis posted:

Did you become instantly hangry?