r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for telling my husband he is an idiot?

quote:

My husband and daughter have been frenemies from day one. My husband has some traditional ideas about what women are suppose to be like and our daughter is the exact opposite. She is extremely ambitious and our son is not at all despite our encouragement. He is happy with his stable accounting job and my husband has finally grown to accept that. My husband hasn�t accepted that my daughter is a career woman and recently made over 180k in her job after a raise to director. She called us to tell us of her promo and I congratulated her while my husband didn�t say anything. After the call I called him out for not being happy for her and he said he was happy �on the inside�. Later he admitted he wasn�t happy she was making more than him which is ridiculous in my opinion that he isn�t happy his daughter is more successful than him. I called him an idiot for being jealous of his own kid and he got mad saying he worked for 35 years to get over 6 figures and our daughter is only 32 so it�s unfair for him. I find it ridiculous since they don�t work in the same field so comparing salaries doesn�t make sense but was I too harsh?

# ¿ Oct 13, 2021 13:04

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 18:53

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for pointing out to my boyfriend that I make more money than him?

quote:

My (F26) boyfriend (M28) are on the same page about getting married and having kids later next year. But recently he always jokes around about me only wanting to marry him to take half of his assets when we get divorce, etc etc. Two of his close friends went through all that and I understand where his concerns were coming from.

I always explain to him calmly that I don�t get married to get divorce, or sometimes I just laugh at him. I love him to bits and I let him know that I don�t want this issue to become a bigger problem someday. Even I suggest prenups, but he doesn�t believe in prenups. He said I still could get more money especially if we have children together.

And now it happens more often and sometimes he said it with a serious face, afraid that he will be left with nothing if we don�t work out.

Today he did it again and that was the last straw. I immediately snapped at him by saying, �well if that�s the case, it should be me who should be worried since I make three times more than you.�

He just went quiet and he went outside. I sat down thinking maybe I was a bit harsh on him.

Was it an offensive thing to say to a man? AITA?

# ¿ Oct 14, 2021 13:05

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for withdrawing support over a meal?

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Once a year (not last) my family goes to a fancy restaurant. Like a place where steaks are 45+ and sides al a carte. It�s a fun treat for us kids at least, as our parents pay. We all catch up, and we get to try places we never can�t afford ( yet) ourselves.

So 2019 when we went, my parents invited my fianc�s mom as we were newly engaged and she hasn�t met everyone. When invited his mom expressed she can�t afford it, and I told her it�s fine cause my parents are paying, its a treat for everyone. We knew that anyway cause we been helping recently.

I left absolutely disgusted with his mom. She got 4 whiskey sours, red wine, coke, the most expensive steak,added shrimp and lobster. Then got 3 sides and dessert. Her bill alone was just over $500. Meanwhile the single highest bill for the other 7 people was $82.

My parents bit the cost and asked me not to complain, they don�t want to start anything. BF was equally mad and talked to her. She tried to say that since they picked the restaurant they can afford it, so it wasn�t a big deal. When it was explained that this a once a year thing before!

Well this year, my mom invited her again, despite my no, but not so subtlety added a cap to the price point. Well 20 min or so in the dinner, BF�s sister and son show up unexpectedly which pissed me off, but she asked for her own check, so at least she wasn�t coming for a free meal.

Her card denied. His mom claimed to not bring her wallet. Bf immediately asked for her check, but my dad being my dad went ahead and paid it.

Walking out his sis jokingly asked where we were going next year. His mom said it�s just it was a joke, calm down.

So I cancelled the scheduled payment to help her pay 1/4 her rent. It was ~ the same as the meal, so I told her her daughter can pay it or she can.

Bf is being harassed by them now. AITA?

# ¿ Oct 14, 2021 14:10

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

What dril tweet is this referencing? All I can think of is "who the gently caress is scraeming "race mix" at my house; show yourself coward; i will never miscegenate" and I don't feel it's a happy thought.

I think it's supposed to be interpreted as "who the gently caress is yelling 'stop miscegenating' at my house"

# ¿ Oct 14, 2021 15:47

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

I've seen condos take the form of townhomes before. But yeah the entire story was an exhaustive demonstration of geek social fallacies colliding with actual problems.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2021 20:36

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

Seth Pecksniff posted:

If you have to make a damned PowerPoint to help get someone to understand they should at least indulge in your (legal) activities there is no hope for the future

For a variety of reasons you should never make a PowerPoint on why your partner should indulge in your illegal activities.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2021 17:44

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

blatman posted:

I thought the biggest health risk from too much cheese was how calorie dense it is

edit: cheese snypa

im pretty sure this is how much cheese op was talking about

Does anyone have the story about the couple getting the extra fridge for the bedroom or whatever because they were fighting over eating shredded cheese straight out of the bags?

# ¿ Oct 18, 2021 14:25

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

Found it.

AITA for installing a lock on my bedroom door, and keeping it locked when I'm not there?

quote:

My wife has a nasty habit of biting her nails. And she's not super on top of keeping her hands washed.

I like to eat handfuls of shredded cheese as a snack.

My wife will take my bag of cheese out of the fridge and stick her unwashed hand into my cheese, immediately after taking her fingers out of her mouth.

That is loving disgusting IMO. Now the whole bag of cheese is ruined, and my snack is gone.

So I started buying her her own bags of cheese. I clearly labeled each bag with either her name or mine.

FF to the next morning, and she has my bag of cheese. Hers is still sitting in the fridge (opened, and contaminated by her unwashed hands). She didn't bother checking the labels. So now she has two bags of cheese, and I have 0.

Next step: I buy a mini fridge and put it in my bedroom. We have seperate bedrooms, so I figured I was solving the problem.

But NO. 3 days later, I get home from work and she's sitting on my bed, eating my bag of cheese. There was still plenty of cheese in the main fridge. This is not a money issue. I don't care if she eats 100 bags of cheese. I just want my cheese to be my cheese, so I know it hasn't had unwashed hands in it.

So I installed a deadbolt on my bedroom door, and I keep my room locked whenever I am not home. Now my cheese is safe. My wife still has plenty of cheese to eat. She just no longer has access to my loving cheese.

She says it shouldn't matter, since we kiss all the time. But I don't want to eat cheese that has someone else's stale saliva on it. No matter how much I love her, food safety is food safety. She is introducing germs into a fertile breeding ground, and I just can't get over that. I need my cheese to be clean.

So, AITA?

OP posted:

I get that it isn't common. But we have our reasons:

1) She snores.

2) I snore.

3) She likes to sleep in a 72 degree room, while I prefer a 66 degree room.

4) She's a blanket hog.

5) We are polyamorous, and sometimes we need our own separate beds for "activities".

6) We keep different schedules. I wake up at midnight and go to sleep at 6pm. She wakes up at noon and goes to sleep at 10pm. I don't want to wake her up coming to bed, and vice versa.

7) We can afford it. Everyone should have their own space if they can afford to, IMO. Everyone deserves to have some place that is theirs and theirs alone.

I would have no problem letting her in my room, if she would accept that my cheese is my cheese. There was no lock on this door last week. We've been married for 28 years. This is a new problem.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2021 16:03

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for telling my roommate that I will not be paying part of the electricity bills

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So my roommate mines crypto currencies with about 6 different computers in his room. I don�t know how sleeps because of the noise but that�s not part of the issue here. Ever since he started the electricity bills have been going absolutely through the roof. They�ve increased by $150 a month. I�ve told him that I will not he paying part of the electricity bills and he must take into account of how much electricity he is contributing because of his new income source in crypto mining. We�ve called our electricity company and they said the mining contributed to a 53% increase.

He said he still thinks we should pay equally all because he thinks that it�s hard to track how much electricity the crypto is causing � even though the provider said it�s 53%.

I have told him I will stop paying the bills and so have our other housemates until he contributes to his fair share.

AITA in this situation?

# ¿ Oct 19, 2021 14:52

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

spouse posted:

I don't know why, but I read this, thought "ooh, fun, a new sub to binge I haven't heard of! can't wait to read about wacky qanoners!"

It was not fun, that is easily the funniest post in that entire subreddit. Just spent the last hour reading about parents threatening children, violent spouses, antivaxxers dying young, and suicide. Thank Democrat Satan that my parents think these people are nuts.

Yeah QultHeadquarters is the better sub for keeping up with whatever insane racist poo poo Qultists believe today. Casualties is the place for people who need to deal with some heavy poo poo.

I'm one of those Qanon casualties so I check it from time to time. Always need to cheer myself up by visiting /HermainCainAwards after.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2021 16:14

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for choosing to work at home, when my Zoom meetings annoy my husband?

quote:

My employer has given the employees the choice of working at home or going into the office. Personally I feel that it is safer to stay at home given what is still going on, and it's about half and half of my coworkers who have decided to stay home or go to the office.

The problem and conflict is that I often have 2 or 3 one hour Zoom meetings a day. I use headphones but I do talk during part of them. I close the door but the noise bothers my husband, who is in the other room. He is also at home all day since he's unemployed. He keeps telling me I am selfish to stay at home and bother him when I could choose to go work in the office and he says I'm just too lazy to go to the office and waves off my health concerns as paranoid.

I do feel guilty because he gets really upset by the noise and says it's hard for him to focus on stuff he's reading when he hears me talking. Am I wrong? Should I go into the office a few days a week?

I am getting a lot of comments that I should tell my husband to look for a job, but he told me he doesn't want to until covid is over, which is a bit weird since he says I'm paranoid about it :/ Overall he makes me feel guilty a lot which is why I came on here, lately he's been getting upset that our place isn't clean enough (we don't sleep in the same room but he comes in and "inspects" my room every day), and today he was upset about the noise again.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2021 18:54

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 18:53

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA Kids Stepmom Wants to See Them

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My husband left me 8 years ago for his mistress Dina. Dina and my ex husband ended up having kids immediately , before the ink on the divorce papers could even dry. My kids were 6, and 5 at the time and are now 14 and 13. My ex husband and Dina's kids are 8 and 7 and 5. They aren't fond of Dina. They said she talked badly about me to them, that she calls herself their mom and that she's kinda pushy. Basic stepmom grievances, can't blame them, they still enjoy time with their dad so it's not a big deal until they make it one. I have 3/4 custody. So one week out of the month they see him.

Apparently old habits die hard and my ex is leaving Dina for another woman. During drop offs and pickups Dina cries and tells me how stupid she feels and that she regrets trusting him. Call me heartless but I don't care. At all. She took me aside to chat and I humored her expecting an apology since she now understood what she put me through. She asked if her kids can still have a relationship with mine. I told her that her kids with my ex husband have nothing to do with me and I won't be looking to split custody or facilitate any extra meetings outside of custody overlaps. She asked if I could make sure that when her kids are dropped of mine are too. I told her bluntly to work it out with him and to leave me alone. She cried and told me that I was a heartless mother and had no idea what not seeing her stepchildren would do to her. And that she wants to still be able to see them. I told her bluntly, no. She's not their mom. That if she wants to see my kids she's out of her beans and that this is what comes with breaking up a family. I discussed the possibility of not seeing Dina as much with my kids and they shrugged it off as "finally" and my ex husband is too busy planning his next wedding to care. My mother thinks I'm being bitter and selfish, and that since Dina finally knows my pain I can at the very least try to be kind to her.

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Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Seth Pecksniff posted:

blatman posted:

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spouse posted:

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