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Nettle Soup posted:Me and my friend were bullies in primary school to one particular kid, and I didn't even realise we were doing it until somebody took me aside and talked to me like "hey, he doesn't like it, stop." We just thought it was a fun game to chase him around and that he was in on it. I was an unintentional bully once in a job I had in my 20s. I used to tease one of my co-workers - nothing awful, just a bit of gentle ribbing, but my less than kindly colleagues apparently took this as a cue to mess with him constantly and much more nastily. I only found out when he came to me practically in tears to tell me they wouldn't leave him alone. Felt like complete dogshit. Told him I'd have very serious words with them if they kept messing with him and make it very clear that he was Off Goddamn Limits, like seriously guys if you don't know how to mess with someone without loving traumatizing them then don't do it. (Fortunately I had some seniority over the others, which was A. why they thought they were following my lead, and B. why me telling them to knock it off worked. I'm so sorry Derek, you're a lovely person and I feel awful that I made you life miserable without even knowing  )
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Apr 15, 2021 19:02
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oh jay posted:My old job was a hellhole and us first 10 or so employees coped by being a baseline level of awful to each other. When we expanded again, and took on another 10 younger employees, we were still pretty awful to each other. When all of us original employees finally quit, none of the young'ns missed us, because we had become a part of the hostile work environment we were running from. Oops. It was probably something like that except the atmosphere was never realistically going to improve (games QA) so I just got out of it altogether. Play posted:drat that's way over the line. And he even got her something to eat after she said she didn't want anything! In my experience it's because they have some level of disordered eating. If they order the food and eat it themselves, that's bad and they are bad, but if YOU order it and they just 'have a few bites off your plate' then they basically didn't eat it at all.
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Apr 15, 2021 19:40
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[quote="Cowslips Warren" post="514066508"] My mom kept the romance writers in business. I remember thinking I was sooo cool and smart and adult when I, barely at puberty, would read those books and mark the pages with sex scenes with a folded down page. Nothing odd about that! I remember one though, I actually had to find it on eBay and get it, because I was sure stupid kid me remembered it wrong. Nope. I was right. Typical Native/white lady romance like so many of them, where she was the feisty redhead virgin who was her father's favorite daughter, on some trip home, and crossed paths with said Native dude, who was actually half white. Turns out his mom had been married to Redhead's father years ago, but she was abducted and kept prisoner and raped, the usual poo poo you don't get a lot of detail about in a romance novel, but nope, this author wanted you to know details! So it felt less like a harmless romance novel and more like something from SVU. But Dude figures out who she is, how his mom suffered horribly while her husband just married some other bitch, and he wants revenge: but he turns on the charm, seduces Redhead, and promises to take her home because he plans to murder her dad. And of course over the story he falls for her, but he also treats her like poo poo, and when they're captured by some enemy tribe, rapes her in front of everyone to prove she's his property. And eventually they get married for real and get to her home where he find he can't kill her dad because of how much she loves him. Best part is, her dad loving KNOWS who he is. And he knows because kidnaped wife/mom helped another prisoner escape, who ran and told him she was alive. But he refused to save her, because his new wife pointed out, that would make all their beloved children bastards, anyway she was probably dead already lol. At least it turned me off romance books! i had a very similar experience! Found a few 'romance' novels as a young teen, one of which had a young girl running away from home to go to sea disguised as a cabin boy. Captain realises she's a girl, effectively rapes her but it's a-ok because she grows to love him later. Even super doofy me though that poo poo was hosed up when I was a sheltered 14 year old.
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Apr 17, 2021 19:44
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SneezeOfTheDecade posted:I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that someone who complains about people being "woke", calls her critics "snowflakes", and calls AAVE "broken English" isn't just a snob. There's a really ugly section in a Bill Bryson book (think its Lost Continent) where he goes into a tourist office somewhere in the South and asks a lady for directions. He specifically says she's a very well-turned out, classy looking black woman and then goes off on his bizarrely racist tirade about how when she spoke she had a strong accent and she used inferior terms like "makes the square" instead of the more standard "go the whole way around the square". I haven't read it in years but it stuck with me. I know bill bryson is kind of a doofus but this was so obviously, egregiously racist and classist that it even struck dumb old irish me 20 plus years ago.
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Apr 26, 2021 17:44
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Betazoid posted:I remember this part very well because he was in my home state (Mississippi). The point he was trying to make was that this classy done-to-the-nines total glamour bomb was completely incomprehensible to him. It wasn't about race but rather about how "weird" southern English is. He made similar comments about lots of Southerners. I hadn't read the book in years, so I was going off my memory of my original reaction to the text - I just looked it up there and eeesh... 
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Apr 27, 2021 10:18
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Horse people aren't necessarily assholes. Lunatics, yes, always lunatics, but they can be quite nice lunatics. One of my very best friends in school was a horse person. She got thrown over a jump by a reluctant horse and got a broken neck. She was lucky and didnt end up paralysed, just in a neck brace for a few months. Just as soon as it came off, she was back jumping over large objects on a very large, skittish animal! Pookah fucked around with this message at 19:50 on May 6, 2021 |
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May 6, 2021 19:34
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Barudak posted:I think a pre-recorded graduation video is mindbogglingly stupid but if its important to my kid it is still significantly more relevant than a loving private shopping experience. I know exactly which shop they are going to and lol, it's very very not what you might expect from "a loving private shopping experience." https://www.primark.com/en-ie
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May 13, 2021 10:20
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Masonity posted:I hope you aren't casting aspersions on Primarni! Never! I love Penneys, it's the only shop you can get an entire seasonal wardrobe for like, 100 euro.
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May 13, 2021 13:21
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I think Saoirse might join Sinead as one of the irish names that's reasonably familiar to a lot of people because of a celebrity. So it's not the worst choice for a kid growing up outside Ireland. There are many worse - think Aoibhin (Eve-een) , Muireann (Mwirinn), Blaithnead (Blawhnad) if you really want your kid to suffer. Intentionally mispronoucing somones name because it's "weird" and you can't be arsed learning how to say it properly is a mega rear end in a top hat move ^^I used to work with an Eithne and conference calls with the US were always a hoot; poor old Ettknee ^^
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May 17, 2021 17:37
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AAA quote, not edit strikes again! 
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May 17, 2021 17:39
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the holy poopacy posted:as far as I'm concerned people lost any leg to stand on as soon as Sean was normalized. letters mean nothing, surrender to anarchy The thing is, Irish pronunciation is actually very regular and predictable, much more so than English. It's just not the same as English so yeah, it's confusing.
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May 17, 2021 19:01
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Michael has been one of the most popular names in the US for about a century and people still have no loving clue how to spell it. One last Irish funfact: The commonest English language misspelling of Michael is actually the correct spelling of the Irish version of the name - Micheal, and it's not pronounced at all like you think!! ((Me-haul) It's an annoying twofer!!!
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May 17, 2021 19:13
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Baronjutter posted:I've noticed quite a few stories that follow the same pattern. Friends or family schedule an event on the date of your mom or child's death on purpose to "help you get over it" or "help distract you" then get really upset when the grieving person isn't ok with this. They are lovely people who feel like their 'friend' has received their quota of emotional support for the loss and they should just get over it now and stop being such a buzzkill.
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May 18, 2021 19:11
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Yeah, there are only 365 days in a year, but if someone makes it abundantly clear that they have chosen a day that is a painful anniversary for you simply because they are bored of your pain, then you absolutely get to hoick that person into the goddamn sun. Hoick that fucker skywards.
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May 18, 2021 19:35
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Believing that your beloved partner will change their mind about having a child is the number one saddest relationship-ending thing. You have two people who love each other, who are happy together, who know they could well grow old together. But if they are not together on the kids/no kids front, they are 100% hosed. No matter how much you love a person, if they are at odds with you on this topic, your relationship is dead. There is no middle ground when it comes to children.
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May 21, 2021 20:24
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I can kind of get the name thing, some names just don't sound great in some accents, e.g., 'Heather' would be pronounced 'Header' in some Dublin accents. Which is unfortunate since calling someone a 'header' is a slang way of saying they're crazy.
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May 23, 2021 14:40
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She's managed the amazing twofer of uniting her kids into disliking her together for bullying her son into giving something harmless up for his sister that she didn't even want! The kids were fine, but she had to butt her big dumb self into the middle and cause a row. At least they now have a shared cause.
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May 24, 2021 22:12
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Quackles posted:If there's something that sorta-kinda approximates garam masala involved, (which is what I meant to say the first time instead of 'curry powder' - sorry!) then I'm not going to look too hard at it. Garam loving masala??? Yeah, it's a good spice mix, but it's a. Extremely regional b. Extremely limited poo poo, garam masala is the thing you sprinkle in at the end of cooking stuff you've already spiced the hell out of during the the cooking process. GM is finishing spices after the real spicing is DONE.
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May 25, 2021 22:33
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Quackles posted:...OK, so what spices define a curry, to you? I've clearly been misinformed, and I'm willing to accept that there's some range of combinations of spices that make something a curry. There just isn't one. Garam masala isn't even the same thing if you ask multiple people. I believe the name literally means ' spice mix'. As far as I know, GM is a finishing spice mix you add at the end to some dishes to add a pop to what your cooking. It usually has no cumin, no fenugreek, no cardamon, no etc etc etc. Most of which are added much earlier in the cooking. The benefit of most garam masalas is that they are made up of spices that don't need to be cooked in hot oil to taste decent. There is no one singular spice mix that makes a curry, there are hundreds, maybe thousands of combinations that make the dishes we anglophones call 'curry' Curry is an insanely broad term used to describe dishes from dozens of very distinct cultures and histories.
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May 25, 2021 23:19
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So the kid has the vocabulary to read more advanced books, but realises it's more complicated that just vocabulary; that themes and plots are even more important. But their parent is too stupid to understand this extremely simple thing. Poor kid, cursed with a stupid and aspirational parent.
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May 26, 2021 22:01
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LadyPictureShow posted:B-b-but it works! Please tell me that someone told this guy that the real issue is his total inability to trust anyone, and that is the thing that has led him to only express emotion openly to his dog. His girlfriend is not the one with the issue.
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May 27, 2021 20:22
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Daughter was right. Lil poo poo bag son needed to learn that his mom wasn't ' exaggerating' or 'too sensitive' or any of the other lovely circumlocutions we use to excuse abuse and deflect on the victim. Smartass was forced to realize what it was actually like, and it was ugly! And painful! A lesson was learned!
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May 27, 2021 22:08
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Mr. Lobe posted:I wonder if it isn't just projection I was thinking the same thing - like the 'friend' has a long-running internal monologue about how the OP thinks they are SOOO SMART and SOOO GOOD because they are a DOCTOR
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May 29, 2021 13:11
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I wouldn't say that romance tropes are responsible for lovely men behaving like shits, but I think there is a valid argument that they (historically anyway) have presented abusive behaviour as 'passionate' or 'romantic', which must surely have affected how some consumers of romance fiction react when they themselves end up in abusive relationships, particularly if they are very young and inexperienced.
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May 29, 2021 18:13
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That fucko sees abusive dad like, three times a YEAR and thinks he's in a better position to judge his true character than his wife, who grew up with him. Throw out the trash woman, throw it all the way out. (I looked up the original post in Reddit and was heartened by how unanimous the response was)
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May 29, 2021 19:08
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I'm a gigantic weirdo, but I've always understood that if a person you love values *something,* them you should do the best to express your affection via something they like. So if birthday cards matter to them, give em a nice card. Same for flowers, or hugs or what thefuckingever. I do not get people who say "cards are a fake way of expressing affection so I ignore the standard holidays even though doing so makes my SO sad" They matter to the person you claim to LOVE! so do a little thing to make them happy, even if it wouldn't mean anything to you!
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May 29, 2021 20:46
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Khanstant posted:It's also something I've been asked a few times early on in relationships, idk seems natural when you go through a falling-in-love phase to get all excited to learn about your partner and do some cute poo poo to make them feel good or loved or whatever. Seems like times when I'm trying to rationalize not doing stuff with or for my partner because "holidays are a scam" or w/e is either b/c depressed and shouldn't be with anybody at that time or no longer really love or care about that person the same way and should not be with them anymore. But this is an illustration of exactly the problem being described: a person decided that their personal choices are correct and the person being given a gift being required to agree with them. Instead of the real world thing of observing what someone actually likes, and giving them something that recognizes their choices. I like olives. No-one not me is required to like olives. I cannot reasonably give other people olives as gifts when I know or suspect they do not like olives. I cannot get hurt when people refuse to eat my gift olives because the loving hate olives.
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May 29, 2021 21:24
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Owlspiracy posted:are high school math teachers even that "good" at math? like, the highest level math you'd need to teach hs math is calculus 2. She may well be very good at it, and also absolutely dogshit at teaching it. I had one of those!
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Jun 3, 2021 19:35
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Bibliotechno Music posted:Not saying he wrote every episode, but this is probably why people keep bringing him into it. WHOOSH
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Jun 4, 2021 17:49
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Daktar posted:You know it was the artists referring to it as Jungle, right? Just to add, the specific track used in that Father Ted episode is by a Jamaican artist called Cutty Ranks, who regularly referenced 'jungle' in both track and album titles.
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Jun 4, 2021 18:17
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Hey, I'm not from the UK so there's another instance of you making a blanket assumption that turned out to be very wrong!
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Jun 4, 2021 18:25
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Pope Corky the IX posted:I once knew a kid that tried to keep his eyes open every time he sneezed and ended up making GBS threads his pants on the school bus. ...And that kid grew up to be President of the United States
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Jun 7, 2021 14:42
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Feels like it's a friendship that just can't survive - how can the struggling single mom bite her tongue every time she sees a fuckin' rock on her friends hand that represents so many things she works hard for but can't afford to give her daughter? Also rich bitch is a thin-skinned rear end who is punishing her 'friend' for making her feel a teensy bit bad about her extremely conspicuous consumption 
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Jun 8, 2021 08:58
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Theophany posted:Quick google turned up a website where they had three engagement rings in the $40-50k price bracket. All three were on discount from the $90-120k bracket. Sounds like the guy got an absolute bargain! I was looking at that same website and the aesthetic they seem to be going for is "Every NANOMETER of your goddamn ring is DIAMONDS*" *even inside the band
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Jun 8, 2021 12:03
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Smirking_Serpent posted:WIBTA if I drop out of being a bridesmaid because I don’t want to wear a slutty dress? quote:v neck is extremely low, it almost reaches my belly button, and it’s wide, so pretty much my entire chest and stomach are exposed - the parts that are covered are sheer mesh - i gained a little weight since the measurements were taken, so it doesn’t fit me as well as it might have. not anyone’s fault, but since the dress was designed to be tight, it’s worse now. - parts of my rear end are showing, for lack of a better way to explain it.  For ballroom dancing???
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Jun 9, 2021 09:33
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Reviving dog-chat for a moment: we always had shih-tzus when I was growing up, and they are great little dogs - friendly, funny and energetic enough to go on pretty long walks (10+ miles as long as it's not hot) but chill enough to lie around snoozing if nothing much is going on. A few years ago we adopted a rescue Lhasa apso, so superficially very like a shih tzu. Totally different personality though - smarter, weirder and a very very keen watchdog. Forget about the front door if you come into the drat room a bit too enthusiastically you can be sure Henry is going to kick up a big ol fuss. He's a good dog 
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Jun 10, 2021 07:09
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Evil Willow posted:Which one of you guys wrote this?? Love that the most upvoted responses are ESH - because it is just as bad to briefly cut off the internet connection as it is to throw your plate across the room because your girlfriend didn't make you nuggies for dinner, and then ring your mom AND her mom to complain about the injustice of it all
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Jun 10, 2021 10:34
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The very idea of deciding to throw away things you know are precious to your partner is so very far beyond the pale of acceptable behaviour. She knew her partner was carrying pain, she knew the pain was at least in part, caused by his father. She chose to enroll that same father in destroying her partner's most precious possessions. Two whole bags of stuff that couldn't be accomodated otherwise. Two bags that meant everything to him and were rubbish to the people who are supposed to care about him. That poor guy has unwittingly found a partner who is a perfect match for the kind of lovely abuser he grew up with. It's not uncommon, and it is just loving awful
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Jun 13, 2021 18:10
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My mother is in her late 60s and if anything even remotely similar comes up, she will 100% bring up how her mother gave away her rocking horse when she was a child. Apparently it was a really awesome rocking horse - the super fancy kind with a real mane and tail, and an elaborate swinging back and forth movement. Grandma decided to give it to The Poor Children when my mother was about 10. No conversation , no consultation, just a precious thing gone forever. It's the most consistently stupid, awful thing - parents giving away their own children's most precious belongings, and for the shallowest, stupidest reasons.
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Jun 13, 2021 18:33
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vdarknight posted:Thank you. Sincerely. This really resonates. Big Ted did most certainly not deserve that. I had my own teddy from babyhood stolen when I was about 6 and I am honestly still kind of fuckin sore about it. Bastards took my rabbit and he was of no value to anyone but me. It's such a dirty trick to take something which is of virtually no value except to the one person to whom it is of incalculable importance.
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Jun 13, 2021 19:25
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