quote:

hi everyone!

I've been using Tinder lately to find FRIENDS ONLY. I make that very clear on my profile.

I've gone on a few "dates" haha and everyone knows the situation, that I have a bf and we're just going to hang out.

After most of my friends had gone off to college and moved away long ago, this is a convenient and perfect opportunity to make new friends. And all of my current girlfriends are very much in support of me and understand it's not a big deal. I usually get along much better with guys anyways so this is kind of perfect.

Plus I get to spend some nights out with dinner not paid for by him, while he's going to play video games which he enjoys, having some alone time.

He knows it's just for friends but has accused me of awful things. I've been on a handful of "dates" and told them that I have a bf already and it hasn't really been a big deal, none of them seem to mind and we have a lot of fun anyways.

He's being insecure and it's getting really annoying even after I explained it to him. We've even previously discussed being poly which we decided not to do, but that's a non-issue and in the past because again this is for JUST FRIENDS.

How can I get him to chill out?

quote:

So your post history says that you've realized you're polyamorous, and that you've talked to your bf about the idea of poly?

That's why he doesn't believe you.

...Also it may have something to do with Tinder being a dating site.

We've decided that we are not going to be poly, even though thats my sexuality I identify with.

I had Troy talk to him about it and my bf isn't ready for that kind of commitment.

Troy says we should just take it slow and keep things on the DL for now (we're friends who hang out still).

But that really has nothing to do with me making friends and hanging out with my own friends over social media.

big trivia FAIL posted:

if you can't loving grocery shop without a snack or drink, even with children (I have them), something is wrong with you and it's probably many pounds over a healthy weight

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

Thats not actually how stealing works, as I paid for it.

Next.

Rosalind posted:

*pops open my sparkling water to take a sip while waiting on line for some boomer to finish with her couponing or whatever*

Miserable Maid: I saw you STEAL that gulp of water that you HAVE NOT PAID FOR. I am therefore placing you under CITIZEN'S ARREST. Your LACK OF SELF-CONTROL makes me SICK.

Shroomie posted:

No, it is. "Drink while you shop" has become a new thing in places where it's legal.

There are tons of Whole Foods with bars in them. Lucky's Markets have bars. I just read somewhere Barnes & Noble is even putting bars in their stores.

Straight White Shark posted:

No thanks, I tried drinking Diet Coke neat once and it's not for me.

Clawtopsy posted:

AITA for mocking a girl and making her leave after she called me a ‘snobby oval office’?

quote:

My girlfriend and I have been together for a long time. She came back from a long business trip to another state and confessed that she slept with another guy for a couple weeks.

I had been busy with work and kind of distant, and she had been wondering if I would ever be ready for marriage. She didn't know I was making plans to propose. This other guy told her everything she wanted to hear, made her feel wanted again, and she went along with it.

I never thought she was capable of it. Trust was such a big part of our relationship. I knew that this was impossible for us, but I was wrong. What's especially painful is that we talked several times while she was on this trip and she lied to my face. She even told me that we needed to talk when she got home (meaning that she had decided to confess) but kept sleeping with him in the meantime.

She's saying all the right things now. She says that it's the worst mistake of her life, that she doesn't know how she forgot how good our relationship i, that she just lost touch with her real life on this trip and now she's snapped back to reality and it will never ever happen again. She seems sincere. I believe her, despite everything. But I'm just so hurt. It just doesn't feel like this can really be my life. I know, abstractly, that people can work past this kind of thing, but I don't know how, and I don't really know if I should.

tl;dr: My girlfriend cheated on me. She confessed and wants to work through it, but it was just such an enormous breach of trust. Do people really heal? Should they?

Edit: I still feel love for her. I was ready to marry her, after all. And she had been wanting that for a long time. It happened so far away, when she was around a bunch of new people, and they were all telling her that I clearly don't love her because I would've proposed by now. She clearly regrets it. She's not good at faking that. Even now, so recently after it happened, I believe her when she says it will never happen again. I don't really care about the sex. I don't really care about the past. Only the future counts now. But how do I reconcile this with my old image of who she is? Everyone's human. Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes big ones. Why should I throw away this relationship because of a mistake? Even with this hanging over us, I don't want to lose what we have. I just don't know how to understand it.

Edit 2: I'm going to leave for a while, but I'll keep reading responses. Please be patient with what I wrote below. I don't know if I really believe it. I just need to play devil's advocate. I need to hear both sides to process through it. Thanks to those who are helping me in that regard.

Edit 3: Jesus christ, people. I understand thinking that I need tough love, but be kind.

Edit 4: It's two months later. She cheated a second time and I broke up with her.

Inceltown posted:

lmao at getting upset at redditors dunking on you. You were going to get trolled no matter what happened and your adult daughter getting laid being the only thing that she did wrong is not going to win you a lot of friends to start with.

Inceltown posted:

I just figured that the daughter had a single bed and opted for the biggest. It's still weird but horny teenagers are horny.

quote:

First I acted in anger and pure anger and nothing else. My gf had her friend over and they both got drunk while I was minding my own business in other room. I went out to grab some food for me and my dog and they were both visibly trash talking out loud. I didn't pay much attention and asked my gf to throw my dog's can to me since it was on her side of the table.

Instead her bff got it and acted as if she was gonna give it to my dog. So my dog went to her. And then she called my dog dumb and stupid and just when I thought she was about to open the can and feed my dog, she kicked my dog on stomach and my dog made a sound. At this point you know how this sound sounds like.

So this crossed my threshold and slapped her on face. And yelled at her. I took my dog and went back to my room.

Next day my gf asked to me say sorry to her bff cause she was drunk.

I don't know what to do here. I don't want to apologize for protecting my dog.

gently caress Your Website posted:

The only thing wrong here is that he describes her as GF and not ex-GF

cumshitter posted:

So are we supposed to punch and kick dogs or not? Make up your mind guys.

I am pro-dog punching for life. I see them as competitors for access to men's crotches.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I’ve (24f) have been hiding my sugar baby/escort past from my fiancé (26m). Is it bad to keep it a secret?

. At 20 I decided to join Seeking arrangements with a friend mostly as a joke,

pentyne posted:

How loving dumb do you need to be for "I'm going to stay with another man who's going to cook for me I won't have dinner with you" not to be a clear signal that shes cheating on you? What's the reason she has to go have him cook dinner? Therapy support? The rapid dismissal is a clear that that regardless of anything else she doesn't care what her husband thinks or feels.

ArbitraryC posted:

Googled about the above 3 way post looking for comments and found this funny one instead

Mostly cause the comments, first couple threads you come across legit think that there was no harm in asking and how could he react this way.

I do agree though he should have handled it differently, shoulda just dumped her. Maybe they got a lease he's waiting out or something.

quote:

Hello, I live in Spain with 4 Spanish roommates in their 20's and was told to leave in a month by the landlord. It's very hard to find housing here, I've heard it compared to NYC. My roommates take pictures of stuff they don't like and send it to the whatsapp group and the people who didn't do it deny it.

Apologies for the detail but last week I had a very heavy flow one night. The toilet doesn't flush well and sometimes stuff won't flush down completely even though you can't see it in the bowl sometimes you can still see residue that settles down. I must have flushed the tampon and since it didn't go down the pipes the blood seeped out over night and some accumulated on the bottom of the toilet bowl. EDIT: Sorry for the details but it was not a tampon but paper towels/toliet paper (I can't remember) that I used that night as I didn't have a tampon. I had a very heavy period so the paper was completely soaked and the blood seeped out slowly over night despite the fact that when I flushed the toiled bowl was completely clear. It happens with poo poo too, sometimes it doesn't clear completely and you will see crumbs accumulate on the bottom. It's not weak pipes just the water pressure that doesn't "push" the waste down strongly enough (so one has to push the lever till it does, sometimes I have to flush 3 times to get the toilet paper to clear).

So one of my male roommates 30 years old sends a picture of this saying it 's disguisting. All the female roommates (24 and 30) said it wasn't them, that they aren't on their periods. I thought we would stand in solidarity but when the second one said it wasn't her I texted explaining about how the toilet doesn't flush well.

It's not like I didn't flush, nor like I couldn't have known that the tampon hadn't gone down the tubes all the way (I assume this is what happened, that the blood leeched out... it was a tiny pool of blood on the bottom). The water itself wasn't red, just a pool.

The week beforethat someone had diarrhea and left a mark on the rim on the seat, and we also got a pic of that. However no one responded to that message to deny it.

Then a few days later I get an email with the clause of the contract that says the landlord can evict you whenever and saying I need to leave.

I will admit that a couple months ago I left the stove on again. That was the 3rd or 4th time I left it on... It's dangerous I admit and honestly really worried me as I have NEVER had a problem with leaving things on.

Since the landloard is part of the message group she sees our interactions. I believe the blood was the last straw.

When I asked why they were evicting me she said she doesn't have to say why, just like when tenants leave they never need to say any explanations. I pestered her and she said it was because of the gas... but that was over 2 months ago?

Anyways, I find all this to be kind of heartless. Even one of my roommates said the landloard should understand better.

Another thing that didn't help is that one of my roommates (30f) found a couple cockroaches in her shelf. THe shelving has holes, mine is above, and sometimes nuts and whatnot will fall into her shelf (hers has a tray so it traps food). When that happened I got a message from the landloard saying to close my food bags which I immediately did store everything in a ziplock back and make sure it was shut well.

Another time I moved my stuff to a different freezer because it was more accessible (didn't have to move a trashcan that was infront of it each time I wanted access). I get a call from the landloard deploring "how is it that you are using 2 freezer drawers when there are 5 people living there and 6 drawers????!!!". I said I had just moved my stuff to the other one out of convenience and was just using one because of the trashcan. "YOU are the FIRST person living there who has EVER complained about the trashcan!!! Move your stuff back to the other drawer!'" Wow.. ok so I moved it back no problem. What's the problem even if I was using 2 shelves if no one else was using it?

A couple days ago I get another text of a picture of a kitchen sponge that I'd thrown into the organic trashcan sent by the landloard. It was supposed to go inside one of the other 5 (yes FIVE) trashcans, the plastics one. It was so greasy and nasty that to me it was practically organic... (just kidding.. I wasn't thinking when I threw it out, I pretty much always throw stuff out properly in the right trashcan). Then, all my roommates wrote back saying it wasn't them... texts consisting of over 3 lines. One with looong explanation detailing what they did the night before, and how she saw the sponge, and didn't throw it out etc... Why the heck do they even need to deny it?? The landlord is just letting us know we messed up to be more careful.

Anyways, I think it's best I leave that place anyways.

Oh and numerous times I've seen skidmarks on the toilet bowl, and never said anything. Skidmarks are gross, I always clean mine up, and these people think theyre so clean. But whatever I don't take a pic of them and send it to the group.
tl;dr: Mandatory summary/question

Are my roommates petty and overreacting, was the blood the last straw, and did they lead to me getting kicked out of the apartment by their constant complaining?

quote:

You are most likely being evicted for flushing tampons. Surprisingly, devices for absorbing liquids and blocking pipes are not great with plumbing systems and there's probably something about that in your lease.

FYI it's not on the lease which I read over entirely, all the rules and the contract itself. And the landlord would have without a doubt would've texted me if it was an issue. It's not the pipes that are weak it's the water that goes down, you have to hold the button to keep it flushing, otherwise it stops as soon as you stop pressing

It's not about weak pipes or not flushing enough, the tampons themselves clog pipes. They're not for flushing, ever. Don't flush them. Wrap them up and throw them in the garbage from now on and have some respect for other people's property.

In the future I will ask if it's ok to throw away tampons in the new apartrment. But I can guarantee that none of the other girls do as otherwise you would smell it in the toilet bins, which is absoluately disguisting and worth the possible clogged pipe every few years. Period blood is atrocious and I cannot believe that stuff even comes from me sometimes, it's most hygenic to chuck immediately when ok.

Your attitude explains why you’re getting evicted.

If i was your landlord I’d evict the moron who kept flushing her tampons because it was convenient.


>>Worse...she later says it was a wad of paper towels!!

What adult doesn’t know to not flush paper towels, let alone a “wad” of them?!

Serephina posted:

I'm horrified.

Cottage Cheese? Riccotta?


Well no poo poo. This is my closest exposure to the fabled US cooking and I'm aghast. Béchamel sauce is milk, and yet people are using a more expensive & worse substitute because lasagna, a dish you teach to kids, is too much effort.

Inspector Gesicht posted:

Who the f- puts an egg and ricotta cheese in a lasagna? It's usually two white sauce layers made of flour and dairy, with pepper and optionally alcohol. The above layer is coated with cheddar.

If there's one thing a person must know about cooking is that there's a difference between an ingredient and a condiment. Tinned and pureed tomatoes are ingredients, ketchup is a processed condiment. Never trust anyone who adds ketchup in the middle of cooking.

Lucrece posted:

Guy (26M) is upset (22F) after I said we're not compatible because of his porn use

findmyipad posted:

findmyiPad-

I don’t blame you for not being comfortable with it. I would not be comfortable with my guy watching videos of other chicks getting hosed and furiously beating off to it either.

Don’t compromise your boundaries.

quote:

You hosed your exes dad lmaoooooo and you have porn as a boundary. You people are hosed in the head

quote:

Yea, and? Obviously if I gave a poo poo about what you little post history detectives thought then I would delete it.

Anyway, my point still stands. Porn is disgusting and the only type of guy who watches that nasty poo poo is scum.

quote:

It doesn’t take a detective to click on a profile and look at the first post.

You hosed your exes dad and you’re calling 99% of men and like 50% of women scum. How ironic.

His Divine Shadow posted:

The way I read about people touching her on the street and the like made me think China, didn't know they act like that in Japan too.

quote:

Hi, r/relationships. This is my first post and I'm on mobile, sorry. TL;DR at the bottom.

I'm in a relationship with a wonderful guy [25M]. Our relationship is great, we communicate well, love each other very much, have an honest and fun relationship, We take trips together, go on dates etc. I think the background information is important here.

Financially we are okay. When I say "okay" I mesn we have around 6k$ in student debt between us, some small credit card debt (less than 3k$). I'm using the equivalent in dollars, I don't live in the US. I have a good job and get paid okay-ish (I don't have a college degree). I'm due for a promotion next month, which won't give me some mega bonus, will increase my hourly wage somewhat significantly. Bare in mind that I work a regular 9-17 life, and have all weekends free. My boyfriend works in shipping, and he makes more than I do, but not by much (there is maybe a 800$ difference in our paychecks). He doesn't have to work weekends either, but he works evenings (13-21) mostly, and sometimes mornings, although this is usually because he's asked for mornings.

We don't struggle to make ends meet. We have food, we pay rent on time, can make payments over the minimim required on the credit cards, and still have money left to save for vacations, fixing the car if there are problems with it, host parties (we have a weekend get together some time ago and bought all the booze), treat ourselves to dinner at restaurants-all the normal stuff.

My issue is that my friend "Sam" [26F] makes less money than I do, can't afford half the things my boyfriend and I are able to buy, but seems way more happier than we are. I have no idea where this kind of jealous comes from, so I'll try to explain some background.

I've known Sam since we went to trade school together. I would up doing something completely different to what I studied there, but Sam did cooking and that's where she works now, in a really nice family-owned restaurant. This woman is one of my best friends and we have seen each other through some seriously tough poo poo.

I know how much Sam makes per hour (less than me) and the kinds of hours she has to work: sometimes her shifts are 12 hours, she works nearly every weekend, her shifts are mostly evenings. I know the kitchen is hot, she burns herself on things a lot, forgets to eat, probably drinks a bit too much (lots of afterwork drinks) and she lives in a kind-of bad neighbourhood (those aren't really a thing here, when I say "bad" I mean kind-of run down government housing, that's cheap, affordable and while the paint might be peeling, it's not like the electricity is going to get cut off.

But Sam is happy all the time. She hasn't been on an out of country vacation is god knows how long. I know she sometimes doesn't have money for food, or to pay bills. Sometimes she'll send me a text asking me to get her cigarettes (she never asks for money). But yet nothing seems to make her stop in her tracks. And it makes me seethe with jealousy sometimes, and I have no idea why.

A good example would be that we went out with a group of mutuam friends last weekend: maybe around 10 people. My boyfriend and I bought and shared a bottle of fairly expensive wine that was super good. Sam came to the bar with her tip money from work and was happy to have made it before the end of happy hour so she could buy beer that costs maybe 4$, and as draft beers go, is the cheapest piss beer they had at the bar. And it made me somehow angry.

We went shopping last week for a friend's wedding. I bought a super cute dress for maybe like 200$. It was on sale, I could afford it, I can wear it again. No harm no foul, right? Sam had to count out change to get a dress shirt from (cheap Swedish clothing store). She had a suit at home, and decided to wear that with a new shirt. Nothing wrong with that. And yet somehow it made me mad, again.

Help me, reddit! I have no idea how to proceed with this, and I don't want to lose my friend over it!

TL:DR: My friend is broke and it makes me angry that she is happy.

Last Chance posted:

Lol sometimes I double back and make sure i locked my door in the morning even though i've never forgotten to. i'm very worried about being burgled

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for walking out of my sister's wedding as an organist because she told me last minute that she didn't have any vegan options?

Midnight Voyager posted:

Women are socialized from birth to just accept abuse and that they're a piece of poo poo if they lash out, news at 11.

FormaldehydeSon posted:

Its because the guy is vegan, turns out reddit hates vegans more than they hate women which honestly I wouldn't have guessed

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

hmm

teen witch posted:

Dazerbeams posted:

I’m not trying to make excuses, but I guess it’s hard to come to terms with the idea that some people just wake up with the most idiotic and backwards ideas towards the opposite sex and then go on to spread their views like some horrible disease.

HMS Beagle posted:

AITA for pulling a harmless prank on a guy who has a crush on me?


Pranks are fun!

quote:

Apologize. That's how you will get people to leave you alone.

quote:

You’re such a clown rear end loser it’s ridiculous. I know everyone in your life just pretends to like you or is too scared to admit they don’t because you’re clearly a bully

quote:

It really does. You're getting heat because what you did was vile and cruel.

We as a society expect people to learn from mistakes. You made a mistake.

What people have a problem with is you showing no regret, shame, or willingness to *try* to make amends. THAT is why you are getting hounded.

So, either you make a new account and disappear, or take ownership of your mistake and for gently caress sake, apologize to the guy, for real, in person, maybe take a friend who has more than the emotional depth of a teaspoon to help you validate, that what you did was wrong, that you hurt a person, and that you will try to be better in the future.

I'm not writing you off as a person yet. Go become one.

quote:

Don't kiss him that's literally the worst way to make up. Even suggesting it means you still don't understand why what you did was wrong.

quote:

....What did you just say? What in the gently caress did you just say, you vile, evil, vindictive bitch?

​

God, I hope you become a good person someday. Even just a decent person, Even a bad person would be a step-up.

quote:

You are absolutely disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself. I’m seriously, seriously dumbfounded that you’re still doubling down on this. You’re never going to be anything more than a nasty, petty, stuck up bitch. Good luck with that.

quote:

I'm sorry for any even remotely positive thing I've said about you. I know you're probably some 50 year old guy with nothing better to do at the moment, but on the off chance you're not, I truly am sorry. I stand by it,. You can become a good person, but saying it isn't important right now. It almost feels in poor taste, because you absolutely don't deserve it

quote:

You are the caricature of woman-kind that incels make up to hate on, except you actually exist. Holy poo poo.

professor metis posted:

Yeah I tried this but none of the juicy comments that had people turning on her were cached. Sad!

quote:

So this was couple of weeks ago, not today. I have been working at a company for a year and I love my job. Now this co-worker in question has worked along side me for the past year as well. We never had any problems until recently. One day he started sending me inappropriate messages of him while in the toilet during work hours on snap chat. I told him to stop several times but he would not listen. Then, he asked me to sit next to him during the day and he would playfully rub my back which is quite suggestive and would flirt with me, touching my legs etc things that are totally not for work environment. I thought this was a red flag but seeing as we are very close friends I brushed it off as I must be thinking too much into it. I'm married, he's single for context by the way.

He started sending me snap chat texts and videos saying he was horny and to help him asking if I would cheat on my husband, if I would consider threesome etc. Very inappropriate. Instead of ignoring it though I played along and yes I am totally to blame for this I know but I send him selfie of my face in the shower and said things like I'm horny too can't wait to have sex with my hubby.

He then said "I don't feel comfortable with this don't message me or send me inappropriate photos" and screenshotted the snap chat. He send it to HR. Now I am in trouble with HR for misconduct. He is blaming me only and giving very one sided story of a horny wife who wants to get into his pants and he wants nothing to do with this.

I am so shocked I never screen shot anything I didn't want to get anyone in trouble I thought we were just playing around. This is so blown out of proportion. I might be losing my job now which is my only income for my kids as my husband is quitting his job as I had a stable income. I don't know what to do now. How can I provide proof this wasn't just my fault? I have a meeting tomorrow with HR and it's blown way out proportion he send them all the messages edited to look like it was only me sending the inappropriate messages.

TLDR co-worker set me up with HR to make it look like I've been sexualy harassing him when in fact it was the other way around.

Hellblazer187 posted:

Assuming either version of the story is accurate, the coworker in question is an absolute turbo rear end in a top hat for destroying a bunch of lives (including his own) over a rejection. The best case scenario is he gets struck directly with an asteroid before the meeting, HR lets it go, and she learns a lesson.

Power Khan posted:

My [25M] fiancée’s [26F] k pop obsession is ruining our relationship I

quote:

This past weekend I (31 M) was at my sister's wedding. To preface, her husband's family comes from a very rural, backwoods part of a southern state, whereas my family is more of a northeastern city area near NYC. So there is a bit of a culture clash that I am taking into account.

My girlfriend is my sister's best friend and she had to give a speech. She is VERY nervous speaking in front of crowds but she wanted to give a speech for my sister.

She starts the speech and is visibly nervous as her voice shakes a little. My side of the family is quiet but a couple of people from the groom's family shout out "no need to be nervous, we're all friends here!" I wanted no one to interrupt but that wasn't a big deal.

What started to annoy me was that as the speech went on, and she told a joke, the rural side would erupt with laughter as if it was the funniest thing in the world (even though it was only worthy of a chuckle and she knew that). The bride and groom seemed to be enjoying the speech and didn't mind the people constantly heckling but I was getting pissed off.

I eventually called out to them "will you slack jawed bumpkins shut the gently caress up and let her finish?" and they all stayed quiet.

Later on in the wedding, the groom, my sister and a few other people from his side came up to me and told me to apologize, which made me even more upset and I told the main heckler "I'll apologize when you apologize to my girlfriend for heckling her and making her more nervous, you inbred redneck trash."

I ended up getting pressured to leave the wedding early and my girlfriend left with me. She insisted I didn't have to defend her and it was no issue, but I could tell she was getting more nervous and didn't like the disruptions

Grape posted:

When this guy says "Northeast" he is definitely meaning upper class WASP. That's the only local cultural group I could think of that would consider "making encouraging comments out loud" heckling.

Which frankly is a dumb as hell thing to think no matter what lol.

quote:

It wasn't just because they were laughing, it was because they were doing so obnoxiously.

The jokes she came up with were humorous, yes, but they weren't laugh out loud funny. Like the northerners would just chuckle, let out a light laugh, but the southerners would laugh really hard even though it was clear the jokes weren't that funny.

It felt disingenuous

quote:

Laughing really loudly and obnoxiously, once in her story she was recounting a time she was hanging out with the groom and my sister and she recounted something the groom said (forgot exactly) and a few of the people on his side of the family yelled out "that sounds just like him"

Another example - she mentioned something she did that embarrassed her infront of my sister when they were younger and an older guy on their side of the family said "DONT FEEL BAD HUN"

EDIT: Their constant chatter also delayed her speech so she had to spend more time up there than I am sure she was comfortable with

spacetoaster posted:

This seems like some weird insecurity stuff.

I've been with the same woman for years and she's never asked me about what other women I find attractive. It'd be weird as gently caress if she suddenly broke out some lists of women and started grilling me.