r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

chemtrail huffer posted:

Boyfriend’s obsession with Dave Grohl getting out of hand.

(...)

Last night, I tried to make a move on him, and he ACTUALLY rejected me because he was watching a clip of Dave Grohl.

I like to imagine this dude is so dumb he didn't realize he could pause a video clip

Licarn posted:

I found my boyfriends break up plan and I'm just tired
submitted 2 days ago

There is a deeply sad implied narrative here where the OP is discussing how even looking at the cat is distressing to them, and Reddit demands pictures of the cat

Antivehicular fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Mar 7, 2020

# ¿ Mar 7, 2020 02:14

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 23:38

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Transmogrifier posted:

he called himself a "prize pig."

I desperately want to know the context, but really, there's no situation where an adult man describing himself as a "prize pig" isn't hilarious

# ¿ Mar 8, 2020 04:51

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I feel like there are definitely some Mom Crimes not being reported in that post

# ¿ Mar 16, 2020 23:59

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Miss posted:

Me [29 F] with my fiance [31M]. We were talking the other day about future kids, and he said that he would not want them to date anyone who wasn't our race or at least "close". Asks me why I would want that for our child... Has anyone been through this? Should I call off the wedding?

Jake and Rachel who have been dating for seven years? Moot point; her dad's just going to force him to marry her older sister anyway. Don't even ask about kids.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2020 03:08

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Miss posted:

alright I know I posted a lot of stories but this one, I had to post

Me [28 M] with my Sister[26 F] whom I've been close to all my life. Found out something very disturbing today.

Me, reading this: "oh lord, mentioning the dogs, the sister's into bestiality"

Me, ten seconds later: "oh gently caress, it's worse"

# ¿ Mar 17, 2020 07:44

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Licarn posted:

It mostly just means calling my fiancée my girlfriend, still being judgemental about us living together, considering our future kids as out of wedlock, etc.

Oh my God, it's the opposite of the family who lost their poo poo at the OP calling his fiance his partner.

These two need to escalate it the same way that OP did, but in the opposite direction: get courthouse married, then only refer to each other as spouses, in increasingly elaborate terms. "Hey, Mom! Nah, nothing going on here, just hanging out with MY LEGALLY WEDDED WIFE and our 100% legitimate kids..."

# ¿ Mar 18, 2020 01:17

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Guildenstern Mother posted:

That in turn reminded me of the guy who got the family heirloom furniture painted/refinished/ruined as a surprise present

edit: There it is

I (29f) had chairs that's been in my family since the 1700s. Were literally priceless. Husband (30m) thought he'd do a nice thing and have them cleaned and finished which has ruined them and removed most of the value. I'm sick to my stomach and don't know what to do.

I will fundamentally never understand what makes people think "I will have one of my loved one's treasured possessions altered in a way they have never asked for, as a surprise gift" is a good idea. There's this, the doofus who got his partner's martial-arts belt embroidered... I could see it if it was something they'd wanted or planned to do, although I'd probably just offer to pay for it and let them get it done how they wanted, but out of the blue? Why? Is there some kind of brainworm going around that the value of a gift lies in how completely it's a surprise?

# ¿ Mar 18, 2020 23:54

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for taking extra steps to enforce my no kid wedding?

Holy poo poo, this is going to loving explode.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2020 00:03

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I want that woman to suddenly switch video-game genres so the OP can start wondering if she's got unfulfilled desires to shoot Cyberdemons IRL

# ¿ Mar 19, 2020 02:03

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

chitoryu12 posted:

A few weeks ago I [21m] posted in this sub saying that, long story short, my girlfriend [21f] might not satisfy me intellectually in the long run. The angry commenters actually convinced me to give her a chance and to accept our differences. I’ve been riding that wave since then, until now....

i love her and it kills me to imagine her upset and lonely without me, but i just don’t think this relationship is ideal for me

I love when people like this are certain their SOs will be in agony over the breakup. Like, yeah, she'll be hurt and think you're the rear end in a top hat, but she's not going to turn into Miss Havisham over you, jackass.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2020 02:57

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

ArbitraryC posted:

Kinda curious what conversations this 21 year old is regularly having that she can't "hang" in. Like I could kinda get this as maybe an adult in an academic/tech field full of people incapable of talking about anything other than their work where your SO is the odd (wo)man out because they're not part of it so they just sort of sit there politely while a bunch of socially inept people fail to include them in the conversation.

I'm guessing this dude's friends are all his classmates in his econ and/or philosophy classes and they're sitting around talking in jargon and/or just standard undergraduate philo-major fart-huffing. He seems like the kind of guy who would mistake "my girlfriend doesn't understand the shared vocabulary and context because she isn't in my field of study" for "my girlfriend's feeble intellect can't keep up with my deep thoughts."

# ¿ Mar 19, 2020 03:21

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

cumshitter posted:

If she's actually working with a French organization of some sort I can see how it would work.

Yeah, it was really conspicuous to me how the OP underplayed the daughter volunteering for a French organization and having passed a French proficiency test, presumably to make this seem like a craaazy teenage impulse decision instead of something the kid's thought through and prepared for.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2020 23:43

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Fatkraken posted:

Devil's advocate maybe the employee was a racist/bully/sex pest, but combined with the horrible behaviour playing sports the flags are getting redder

I dunno, even if the employee was a racist sex pest who was taking shits in the potted plants, I feel like "joy" is never a great reaction to a firing. Relief, maybe?

# ¿ Mar 21, 2020 23:35

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for waking my SO up after finding he breached my privacy?

the last book i saw my so read was steal this urine test. when it first came out.

I'd just like to note for the thread that this book came out in 1987. This dude hasn't read a book since the Reagan administration.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 22:27

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

"Hmmm, my adopted daughter occasionally says things that suggest she's having a hard time dealing with our family history. Clearly the best thing to do is validate her fears immediately by telling her I would abandon her in a heartbeat for even a glimpse of her dead baby sister, who is my only real child."

# ¿ Mar 23, 2020 22:51

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Smirking_Serpent posted:

lol at "suicide-type" the worst new Pokemon variant.

Every Pokemon from creepypasta ever

# ¿ Mar 24, 2020 01:50

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

girl pants posted:

I can't believe I got caught up, I'm so excited yet strangely empty

Newly married but wife’s baby fever is starting to impact relationship.

quote:

we didn’t use protection on the honeymoon

I feel like there's a story here

# ¿ Mar 24, 2020 04:55

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Miss posted:

In my brother's perfect world my mother and I raise his children.

I just had a sudden, violent flashback to the Jon Pop thread where he wanted to conceive a child to give to his mother, "so she could have a second chance."

There's also something very menacing to me about his plans for the girlfriend to "focus on her hobbies." Is this hobby room going to have a door that locks from the outside?

# ¿ Mar 24, 2020 10:39

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

MagusofStars posted:

Huh, so handing her divorce papers didn't go over well? Can't imagine why she didn't love that!

I can't even figure out what the best-case response to the Divorce Papers of Damocles would have been. A steely-eyed nod and a "yes, husband, I appreciate you taking the legal initiative for if our currently hopeful attempts at reconciliation fail?" Maybe just signing on the spot?

# ¿ Mar 24, 2020 23:38

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

artsy fartsy posted:

There needs to be another website where you and 47 other guys put in $20/month and it buys the highest tier on a Patreon and sends everyone soft porn and a small piece of a Hallmark card

I've seen group-funding-pool Patreons like this, although generally to buy high-cost commissions for niche porn. I guess if you're one of like fifty people who masturbate to a particular thing and the only artists who'll draw it want hundreds of dollars per piece, tossing in :10bux:

to crowdfund a commission makes some kind of sense?

# ¿ Mar 25, 2020 00:30

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Also you know that toddler isn't getting remotely adequate supervision during Porn Time, no matter how little Dad is jacking it

# ¿ Mar 25, 2020 03:12

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Power Khan posted:

Anyway, I put that athleticism in my act, where I’d break boards and do some parkour, but I’d also do some clown stuff like smack myself in the face with whipped cream in a dollar store pie crust and talk in a stupid voice and trip.

Not just a clown, a parkour clown

# ¿ Mar 25, 2020 12:28

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Sunswipe posted:

Wherein LAOP's Reddit account was suspended because their username contained a racial slur...because that's their legal last name
Aw poo poo, Knigga.

On one hand, sucks for that dude
On the other hand, who buys 100 bucks of Reddit gold?

# ¿ Mar 25, 2020 12:47

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for eating during a work video call?

I was going to be like "thank God, after all these child-neglect stories, just a regular rear end in a top hat," but then I saw she was muted. Who gives a poo poo if someone muted/invisible on a video call is eating?

EDIT:

HMS Beagle posted:

What's up with this alt account? Well probably the fact that it mostly posts on r/cummingonfigurines

ahahaha oh my god

# ¿ Mar 25, 2020 23:10

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

LadyPictureShow posted:

GF loves food

I knew every goon who posted in the fast food forum was secretly a goonette.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2020 03:34

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

elise the great posted:

1-1.2k cal/day is an insanely, dangerously low restriction. Your girlfriend is starving to death my dude

GF chases me around house with knife and fork in hand, refers to me as ambulatory roast chicken. Standard behavior?

# ¿ Mar 26, 2020 04:00

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not wanting my husband to name our first child?

Whoof. A lot goin' on here.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2020 23:44

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Cowslips Warren posted:

So the husband wants to name his new daughter after the dead one? Someone saw the end season of Game of Thrones and thought, man, that Rhaegar was cool, naming his second son after the first after he disinherited the first.

poo poo, I don't like using names again for loving pets.

Yeah, this was my thought. It's kind of weird that the OP is hung up on its specifically being his daughter with another woman, but "don't name a baby after your previous dead child" is like Not loving Up Your Kid 101.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 01:04

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Sodium Chloride posted:

There's an article about covid posts in r/relationship_advice on Jezebel.

https://jezebel.com/coronavirus-is-pushing-reddits-relationship_advice-to-a-1842476984

This is linked in that:

My boyfriend is disgusting

The sheer audacity of claiming poo poo on the toilet seat isn't yours when only two people use that bathroom! Majestic.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 23:18

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

PetraCore posted:

EDIT: More importantly there's no way the boyfriend who 'has a special connection to' op's childlike alter isn't a megacreep who likes how dependent her severe mental health issues make her, right?

No way in hell he isn't a creep. The GF faking a major mental illness for attention is pretty bad, but the BF clearly encouraging that illness and dependency (or just being really into his partners acting like little kids) is a much bigger problem.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2020 00:05

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Barudak posted:

I tapped out at "a lover of love" and hope this person is currently quarantined far from anyone else

I gave up after reading that they met at a music festival, because of course

# ¿ Mar 30, 2020 05:48

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

"I'm a frequent internet user myself," says man asking for relationship advice on Reddit

# ¿ Mar 31, 2020 12:35

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I desperately want to know how this kid allegedly destroyed all these centrifuges in an undergraduate lab

# ¿ Apr 1, 2020 05:10

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My 27F Boyfriend 29M of 3.5 years, still hasn't reciprocated "I love you", feeling unloved and underappreciated.

The most

part is that -- even if he's being 100% honest and intends to fully commit once his debt is paid off -- he's paying $200 a month on $20k of student debt, so that's almost a decade before he's willing to love her.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2020 02:37

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

"She says I remind her of a junkie friend, just because I did drugs behind her back after I told her I'd quit! What sense does that make?!"

# ¿ Apr 4, 2020 08:44

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Evil Willow posted:

AITA For Telling My Brother To Get A DNA Test Becausd His Son Doesn�t Look Like Him?

I wonder what percentage of paternity tests are taken because people don't realize that babies' hair and eye color will change over the first few years. Probably fewer than tests taken because people don't realize recessive genes exist, but I'd bet it's still a few.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2020 07:04

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my roommate she has no rear end?

When she saw me make my dinner one time she said �wow black people really can cook!� And offered to pay me to cook for her.

Holy buried lede, Batman!

# ¿ Apr 9, 2020 03:50

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Pirate Radar posted:

My wife [30F] thinks I'm [33M] gay? [misunderstanding]
Posted byu/AndrewJMLegal

Honestly, the weirdest part by far is that they're roleplaying preteens while they're having their mutual jack-off sesh. I get that they're trying to recapture some kind of "thrill of discovery" thing, but Christ on a loving bike, you don't have to ritualistically stage sleepovers, play decoy Nintendo for an hour, and do weird fake pre-adolescent sex speculation, let alone loving catchphrases! (The catchphrase bit makes me hope this is fake, but... who knows.)

# ¿ Apr 9, 2020 12:04

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

LadyPictureShow posted:

My (24M) girlfriend (23F) keeps eating Asian food in my house and it smells bad

I am burning to know which style of cuisine this is that apparently smells like dead bodies to this dude, because you know it's going to be something incredibly tame

# ¿ Apr 11, 2020 06:04

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 23:38

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Licarn posted:

Update - is it worth it to try to work things our with my boyfriend, ho is jealous of my stepbrother?

He told me that it was always his dream to teach me to drive (he doesn�t even have his permit. Am I supposed to wait around for him to get it?)

I feel like we see a lot of these guys who demand to be better than their partners at something they make no effort with, like the guys with no career plans who are still insanely angry that their partners out-earn them, but "my dream was to teach you a skill that I don't have and am not learning" is really a cut above.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2020 02:27

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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