- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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How can we make a new thread without one of the most horrifyingly funny posts of all?
Wife told me she wanted to experiment, I obliged, then she attempted to eat my feces.
quote:Throwaway account because my wife follows my regular account here. My (28m) wife (26f) and I have admittedly had very vanilla sex throughout our 3 year marriage. We had our first kid a year ago and it seriously slowed down our sex life. However, a little under a month ago she approached me about “trying new things”. She has been hanging out with a group of moms in our neighborhood and one of them told her that she and her husband tried pegging and it completely transformed their marriage. My wife told me that she wanted to try pegging as well to “spice things up”. At first I thought it was a joke, but soon realized she actually wanted to peg me. I had never done assplay before and had always lived by the philosophy that the anus is solely an exit, but my wife made it clear that this was important to her so after a few days I obliged.
That next weekend, she pegged me and everything was surprisingly enjoyable. Additionally, the week following the pegging was one of the best weeks we’ve had together since the birth of our child. We were back to our old sex life, doing things like having sex before work and even waking each other up with head. However, that next weekend she told me she wanted to peg me again. I was slightly confused as to why this last week of sex wasn’t cutting it for her, but I agreed.
This is when things took an extreme turn. During this second pegging while my wife was inside of me, she grabbed my hair, craned my neck to the right, and pressed our foreheads together. I had never seen her take control like this and thought it was very hot until she looked me in the eye and whispered “I want your poo poo”. I pulled my face away and asked her to repeat and she said “I want you to poo poo on me”. I pushed her off of me and asked her if she was joking and she started crying. I felt like a loving dick because she thought I was kinkshaming her. In a way, I was because I thought the request was far too extreme. I ended up leaving for the night and stayed with one of my close friends, but didn’t tell him what happened.
After that incident, my wife and I hardly talked all week unless it related to our son. At the end of the week, I asked my wife to talk about what happened. She told me again that she wanted me to poo poo on her and that it meant a lot to her. I thought it was sickening, but she claimed this was her deepest, darkest kink. I couldn’t understand how and why my poo poo excited her, but she insisted that she has always wanted this.
We fought about this for about a week and after watching some scat porn and reading articles by people who also shared this kink, I tried to put myself in my wife’s shoes. I told her that I will poo poo on her if that is what will turn her on. She was so happy and even though I was still completely nauseated by this desire, I wanted to satisfy her.
That brings us to tonight. We were having sex for the first time this week when I (regrettably) confessed to her that I had to take a poo poo. She perked up with a smile, sensed my discomfort, and began stroking my hair and whispering encouraging things to me. I still really didn’t want to go through with it, but since I had promised her I pulled out and we ran to the bathroom.
She got into the bathtub and I hung my rear end over the side of the tub. I started pushing, but unsurprisingly found it very difficult to successfully poo poo on my wife. I turned my head around to see my wife staring up and smiling at me waiting for me to finish. With enough time, I was finally able to get a turd to start coming out. I could hear my wife breathing heavier beneath me as my rear end in a top hat started opening. However, before the turd was able to drop on her chest, I felt a sensation around my rear end in a top hat.
I turned around and saw my wife - the love of my life, the mother of my son - attempting to catch my turd in her mouth as it fell out of my rear end in a top hat. I was horrified that she would try to do this, and tried to pull the poo poo back into my body so she couldn’t receive it in her mouth. Seeing what looked like an attempt by her to eat my poo poo brought me close to throwing up.
As I clenched my buttcheeks together to try to stop the poo poo from reaching my wife, the clenching cut off a very small piece of my poo poo and I heard it land somewhere beneath me. I was too scared and disgusted to look at my wife to see what she had done with it, so I ran to the other bathroom to clean myself. As I was sitting in the other bathroom thinking about how I will ever be able to look my wife in the eye again, I heard footsteps approaching. My wife lightly knocked on the door. I didn’t respond and was on the verge of throwing up the more I thought about what just happened. She walked away and then I got a text from her thanking me for fulfilling her wish and asking me to come to bed.
I’ve been sitting in the living room typing this for the last half hour scared to face my wife. We have plans to take our son to the zoo with another family tomorrow, but I don’t think I can look at her after what she did to me. I feel deceived and violated by the woman I love and trust. During our initial conversations about this, there was never a question that my poo poo would go anywhere other than her chest. She knew how uncomfortable I was with this in the first place, yet she still tried to push the boundary that we had established.
I would appreciate any feedback from anyone who has experienced a similar violation of trust from a loved one. I’m turning to this sub for advice because for obvious reasons, I cannot tell anyone that knows my wife and I. I know that some of you may find this humorous, but please serious comments only - this is something that could lead to the end of our marriage.
EDIT: I didn't expect this to go to the front page, but my wife has seen the post. I have been unable to face her and there is no way to get out of going to the zoo with the other family today. I appreciate all the serious feedback and I will update tonight.
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Jan 13, 2020 17:10
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Apr 28, 2024 08:16
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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It's pretty trippy when you see/hear things that aren't there. A couple times when I got absolutely blasted on edibles I would keep thinking I saw shadows/figures moving on the periphery of my vision, like someone trying to hide from me. Also, some sounds would become warped so that a common fan might sound like a helicopter, or a car engine like a ferocious monster. I was pretty spooked the first time this happened but after that I just stuck the thought in my head "ok, if some kinda weird poo poo happens in the next eight hours, just ignore it cause it ain't real" lol.
Works well enough when you have time-limited experience, but I can't imagine existing in a permanent state where you just have to think "ok this thing here? might not be real!"
I was recovering old phone backups from my old computer and found that my ex had done one of her own in 2016. I couldn’t help reading one of the text threads, and I discovered that she was very likely schizophrenic and hiding it from me. She believed she was the reincarnation of a fallen angel, that Satan personally appeared in her dreams to praise her, and that all the strange creatures she saw and heard everywhere were because she had The Sight. She was afraid to tell me for obvious reasons, and also was rejecting treatment because she thought it would remove her powers.
As far as I know she hasn’t changed since our breakup!
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Jan 14, 2020 23:28
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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This is the way.
By way of content, Trader Joes has outstanding inexpensive whiskeysat or under $20. Try the Lismore and start your education.
I just got a 1.75 liter of Evan Williams for $24 after tax today. It tastes way above its price point.
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Jan 15, 2020 05:20
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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*pops open my sparkling water to take a sip while waiting on line for some boomer to finish with her couponing or whatever*
Miserable Maid: I saw you STEAL that gulp of water that you HAVE NOT PAID FOR. I am therefore placing you under CITIZEN'S ARREST. Your LACK OF SELF-CONTROL makes me SICK.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeplVT4qEZc
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Jan 15, 2020 15:07
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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AITA for being disgusted that/embarrasing my boyfriend for jerking off at work?
Some context: My (17F) boyfriend (20M) and I work at the same office. It's very laid back with a mostly male staff, and therefore environment. A few weeks ago, BF told me that his friend (also works there) often rubs one out in the bathroom at work. (In the one-room bathrooms) He thought this was hilarious and didn't understand why I found it VERY gross. He made jokes that he should do it too, to which I replied that if he was to do so, I would think he was, firmly, nasty af. We didn't talk about it after that.
Today: He tells me that he did the deed on two separate occasions at work. Acts surprised when I ask What The gently caress (TM) is wrong with him. I got a little angry that he just couldn't wrap his head around the idea that I could find this totally disgusting, weird, and totes inappropes; nor could I fully articulate it.
I went into the kitchen (at my house) to finish making dinner, and he comes in to wait for his ride home. After he tells me he is leaving I say, "Better stop by OurWorkPlace and rub one out!" He did not find this amusing. He also said that he actually only did it once, "just to see."
My dad comes into the kitchen while BF and I are discussing this dilemma. He doesn't catch on enough to know what we're talking about but can tell it's a somewhat heated conversation. Here's where I may be in the wrong though,,,,
I ignore my dad's questions and say, "Should we ask my Dad babe? What do you think he'll say?" I had no intention of actually telling my dad what we were talking about, but wanted to use BF's instant backpedal as a point in my argument. Then my Mom comes in, "Hey maybe my mom will have some input! Should we ask her?" They are both confused while BF insists that its nothing. I tell them never mind and they leave. I ask him, if there's nothing weird about it why did you get embarrassed? He gets really pissed and says to NEVER talk to my parents about him maturbating. A few minutes later he leaves.
After chilling out a little I'm wondering if I went to far, or if I was justified to find choking the chicken 30 ft from my desk, in the room where I pee and change my tampon, loving nasty. If I were to walk in on someone jerkin it at the office I would assume it was A. a creep, B. a barely pubescent boy who's WiLd HoRmOnEs blind him of social conduct, or C. Literally anyone other than the person that I exclusively have sex with.
Wondering if a non partial party can give me reasons why he (or I?) am in the wrong. I just couldn't find the words to explain to him why I was so hosed off. I don't think there is Anything wrong with masturbation, but I found this an obvious exception.
Reddit, AITA?
She's got a really weird thing about jerking off, but it got really weird when she started trying to drag her parents into the question of her boyfriend cumming in a work toilet.
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Jan 15, 2020 20:58
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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"He jerked off in the room where I pee and put in tampons!"
Girl, you're gonna hate when I tell you about what he does in the shower.
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Jan 15, 2020 21:32
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Also:
quote: If I were to walk in on someone jerkin it at the office I would assume it was A. a creep, B. a barely pubescent boy who's WiLd HoRmOnEs blind him of social conduct, or C. Literally anyone other than the person that I exclusively have sex with.
Is she expecting to just burst into the bathroom while someone else is using it?
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Jan 15, 2020 21:47
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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AITA for suggesting that my room be off limits while my housemate hosts a kinky sex party?
Tell all of the party guests that they've been bad subs and lost the privilege to enter your room. That'll keep them out.
And uh also sanitize everything in your house afterwards.
"Consent is a big part of BDSM! That's why you should just assume we'll have an understanding of what's allowable without actually talking about it!"
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Jan 17, 2020 16:31
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Never had a work alcoholic, but we've had multiple work stoners. One of them had to be the sacrificial lamb to scare the other two because she was the most disposable after they got caught smelling of pot. They were utterly useless when they tried to work while high.
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Jan 17, 2020 22:21
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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lol
like this isn't helpful but it's a good way of dealing with an office that is full of, apparently, d&d posters
I'd call it helpful in the long run. These guys have probably gotten to be the way they are because the only people they've interacted with either argue right back and feed into their rage or don't want a fight and just give in to make them shut up and stop yelling. Stopping the meeting and telling them that they can come back when they behave like adults immediately takes their power away from them and makes them face consequences for their actions. The ones who take the hint will change the ones who don't can be safely disregarded.
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Jan 18, 2020 04:09
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Cast iron pans are stupid and the people who are the most outspoken about them are the least knowledgeable about cooking. Like, you don't cook expensive meat with strong sauces because the sauce covers the flavor of the meat. Same thing with an overly "seasoned" pan, you just taste the greasy old fat in the pan, not any of the stuff you cooked in it.
it's honestly one of the biggest kitchen idiot shibboleths out there, along with smoker idiots, air fryer cultists, and anyone who gives a poo poo about charcoal grilling.
Sauces are definitely justified with steak if you don't know where to buy it and what to look for. Most steak around the world is feedlot steak made from cattle that are rapidly fattened on corn and killed at a young age. That's why a $75 steak at a restaurant in Vegas and a $15 steak you cooked at home taste very similar apart from the seasoning: it's all from the same source. Dry aging and marbling can make a good steak great, but it can't make a lovely steak good. You need to look for grass-fed to get something that tastes like meat instead of vaguely beefy water. I can see how all the flavoring stuff became a thing with people who only buy random store meat.
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Jan 18, 2020 04:24
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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chitoyru i know we've had our differences in the past but i think we can put this nastiness behind ourselves if we both agree to get married in 30 years if neither of us has settled down yet.
edit- the only proper way to eat steak is to get it raw, literally raw, from an animal you butchered yourself, and also you are La Chupacabra.
Sometimes I wonder if I drink enough when I come onto this forum.
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Jan 18, 2020 05:06
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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3.5k in savings is only a lot of money to a college student.
Or a poor person, dumbass.
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Jan 21, 2020 14:41
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Babies, famously known for spending all day sleeping and requiring minimal care.
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Jan 21, 2020 18:26
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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he wants to retain some aspect of individual autonomy, which is a very unrealistic ask for a middle aged man living in a two bedroom house with his family which is is family whether or not he's ready to accept that fact
God, I didn't even notice the ages. I thought he was like 27 or something, not pushing 40.
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Jan 21, 2020 18:46
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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"Seymour! The girl is on fire!"
"No mother, that's just the northern lights."
I loving cackled.
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Jan 22, 2020 20:08
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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My friend (30sF) is convinced that I (30sF) am having a mental breakdown based upon how I decorate my house. I think she's rude. She thinks I'm insane. We aren't speaking.
TLDR: My friend and I (both 30sF) are having a long standing conflict as she thinks I'm having a mental crisis/breakdown based upon the "insane" furniture/decor selections in my house. I think she's being crazy and extremely rude and have told her such, she thinks I am having a mental breakdown, and we are now not speaking.
Basic Background: I am a married woman in my mid-30's. My friend is also married in her mid-30's. We both work highly professional jobs, and are considered high achievers/performers in our fields. We are both childfree by choice. I'm fairly close with this person (5+ year friendship at this point), and consider her one of my closest friends. However, her behavior lately is seriously putting things at risk as I don't know how much more of the snide/outright hostile comments I can take.
The Situation: Lately my husband and I (married 10+ years) have decided we want to make our house more homey/comfy per OUR standards. So, we have been getting items for our home that make us feel joy/laugh/etc. I want to be clear that my home is not cluttered or overfilled with stuff as I know that can bring some people very understandable anxiety. Quite the opposite- my home is very clean, and we have a small, but apparently weirdly curated, selection of things. My friend has some seriously intense feelings about this. Here are some of the "weird" or "bizarre" (according to her standards) things we have put in our house:
A dark purple fluffy couch/chaise lounge thing. This thing is so soft that I can't even describe. Its like lying in a big bowl of fuzzy bliss. However, yes, the thing is pretty ugly by most standards and doesn't really go with the other "decor" (if you can even call it that) in my home. I give no craps about this. It makes both my partner and I happy, is extremely comfortable, and looking at it honestly just makes me smile.
A rug that has dinosaurs wearing capes and space helmets. The colors go fabulously with my stuff- It isn't in cartoony/child room style and its actually fairly pretty and decently artistic. But, yeah... its dinosaurs in space helmets and capes. Again, the rug totally cheers me up.
I have some Dnd miniatures we painted that I have put on my mantle. We put them in an order where it looks like some comical fight has gone down. Again, cracks me up. My husband and I often move them around in silly ways to make it look more ridiculous. Its a fun game at this point to wait for the other person to notice and then narrate what they think happened.
I painted some glow and the dark constellations on our bedroom ceiling. This took me forever and I put a ton of planning into it. I used to live in the middle of the countryside and had some amazing star views, and now live in a city and have none. The glowing stars look great and cheer me up when I go to sleep.
I have some science beakers in my kitchen that I use for measuring during cooking. My husband and I are both big science nerds, so, again, it just goes with us- also they are extremely practical and the best thing I have ever used for cooking/cocktail making.
I painted a tiny wall upstairs (Its this awkward 4 sq foot area that kind of hangs solo) with a spray on chalk like paint. I write weird poems to my husband on it. The poems usually involve our cat, our dog, strange dreams, chores he has forgotten, or lamenting having to work.
What seems to have REALLY put her over the edge this latest time is that I hung some goofy looking lanterns in a few places throughout my house. It was actually her idea to put some lights there as I was talking about my rooms being a bit dark, but apparently she didn't expect me to put up some star like lantern that puts big patterns on your walls. I also got an essential oil diffuser at the same time (I like the smells) and she seemed appalled that I got a "weird" one. (Again, its a constellation type ball that gives off a cool light")
Her comments first started as kind of subtle jabs such as "Did you know it would be THAT color when you ordered it?", "I bet you were so disappointed that its so purple", "Did one of your coworkers kids get that for you?", "Hmm... its... well... noticeable", "You are leaning heavy into the 'eclectic' these days", "It looks like a playroom in here."
They have now devolved into straight up insults/interrogations, though. She has now sat me down on 2 occasions to discuss this "rapid shifting". She asked if I'm having a mental crisis (nope), told me I'm just trying "too hard" to be original/unique (I'm not, I just like the things), and even went so far as to ask if this was some sort of psychotic manifestation of me secretly and desperately wanting a child. (Wtf) She told me that no sane person in their 30's would have this in their home, and that people are going to think we are insane/weird.
I told her several different times that I thought she was being rude, that I don't appreciate her comments, etc. I have been VERY direct about this. I have now sat her down formally and told her that I think she is offensive and insulting, that it isn't her house, and that she can either keep her opinions to herself or she isn't welcome in my home anymore. Which has now turned into us not speaking for two weeks until yesterday when she sent me this:
"I am sorry that things have been so strained between us. I am concerned for your well being, and I am trying to be a good friend by telling you the things that other people would be too polite to say. If you cannot appreciate that, then I guess our friendship isn't as valuable as I thought"
SERIOUSLY?! How am I even supposed to respond to that total non-apology?! Am I crazy? Does she have a point? My house is clean, in good shape, but yes- I put non-traditional things in it She asked me at one point if I thought my house was "aesthetically pleasing". My response was basically: "No, but I don't care about that. It brings me joy and makes me laugh." She stated that because I admitted it was ugly (not what I said- I just acknowledged that its not aesthetically pleasing) that I must realize there is a problem. Is it really that unusual for people my age to have such things in their house?
For side info: all of my other friends have seemed to really really love the changes. Some of them actually seem jealous that we have so many fun/comfy things in our house that we both agree on and enjoy. All concur that my fuzzy purple beast of a chaise is, indeed, hideous, but that its it also the most comfortable thing they have ever laid on. We are a nerdy group that spends time playing board games, doing art together, and playing Dnd- so we aren't even what one would consider a traditional group. So, what gives?
Edited to add: Thanks so much for all the comments and feedback. I didn't expect to get so much support! She sent me a few more rude non-apologies so I think I'm taking a break for awhile and told her as much. She tried using that as further evidence something is wrong with me, but I told her the unrelenting obsession with how I decorate my house is the truly crazy thing in this situation. A few asked as well, but, yes, she has a very traditional decor. Her couch is an ungodly level of uncomfortable (which I've never commented on because I'm not rude), but looks very nice. I would rather have my fancy purple beast any day. You all have inspired me to embrace my nerd side so I'm going to go ahead and get a framed Doctor Who painting I've had my eye on for a while. I am feeling pretty sure it will be fabulous in my bathroom.
I don't know who to root for here.
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Jan 23, 2020 06:15
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Seeing someone abuse an animal should get any reasonable person mad enough to cold-cock them on the spot.
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Jan 23, 2020 22:32
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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People aren't responsible for their actions when drunk, there can be no consequences either legal or social to actions made when drunk.
I'm a wholehearted believer in drunk behavior just being how you behave with no restrictions, regardless of what anyone says. I can drink until I can barely stand and I just spend it all talking about poo poo and then going to bed. I've never even dreamed of causing harm randomly no matter how drunk I get.
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Jan 23, 2020 22:40
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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/r/relationships (and /r/relationship_advice) can be a bit slower with the hilarious posts so we supplement with /r/AITA. TIFU posts are all trash though please don't post them.
Yeah, most of the r/relationships posts are either mundane advice or high school students coming in with "I have a crush on this girl and she doesn't even know I exist, how can I avoid killing myself because this clearly means I'll be alone forever!"
On r/AITA, it takes a few seconds to come across "Am I the rear end in a top hat because I poo poo on my girlfriend's dog as a power move during a fight?" or "Am I the rear end in a top hat because I gently told my husband to turn the TV off and he broke a lamp over my head?"
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Jan 23, 2020 22:46
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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I mean the OP did take a situation where they would be 100% in the right to kick this person out, sever, call cops but chose to commit crimes instead and muddy a slamdunk win. The OP is objectively stupid and as a result ESH minimum for making a terrible situation 10x worse.
Using non-lethal force to defend your pets is generally not going to be prosecuted. Give her a roundhouse to the jaw.
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Jan 23, 2020 22:48
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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How do I (24F) talk to my boyfriend (36M) about his drinking?
That's like, 25 drinks in 5 hours. Have you ever had 5 shots of liquor in an hour? That's how he's spending his entire night. I'm a regular drinker with a high tolerance and I won't even hit half of that on a long night out. He's gotta be waking up with a horrible hangover every single morning.
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Jan 24, 2020 02:05
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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AITA for getting mad that my wife hid carrots in dinner (self.AmItheAsshole)
submitted 9 minutes ago by donthidethecarrots
One of my close friends has the same problem with seafood. When she was young she was able to go backstage at SeaWorld and Shamu promptly threw up fish on her. Ever since, the smell or taste of seafood triggers an immediate vomiting reaction. Even if you mix some seafood into a delicious meal and she can't tell what it is, if you tell her a day or two later she'll just throw up.
Not as strong, but I had the same issue with bananas after getting sick as a kid and throwing up while eating them. I've worked to reduce my aversion so it doesn't immediately trigger nausea anymore but it still tastes unsettling to me, like I'm eating terror.
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Jan 24, 2020 02:16
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Cant get a hangover if you stay constantly drunk! One weird trick that girlfriends hate!
Depends on how much he drinks during the work day. It takes roughly an hour for an average drink to wear off, so he's technically drinking enough that he'll still be drunk when he wakes up, but as soon as that's done he's going to be hosed right in the rear end by a hangover.
I honestly don't know how he's still functioning after he finishes. If I try to drink 10 drinks in 3 hours, I'll be on the verge of throwing up. This dude is over twice that. The amount he's pounding requires an immunity beyond typical alcoholism.
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Jan 24, 2020 02:45
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Clubs have to have a charter, don't they? That should detail exactly how leadership is elected, and members are defined and treated. This person should read that, and then demand that the charter be adhered to.
Going off and creating a separate club is kinda assholish, but if it causes the club to fix itself it might be a good thing.
If it's an official club sanctioned by the school, yes. If it's a private thing that doesn't have any authority binding them to adhere to it, you're SOL.
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Jan 24, 2020 20:25
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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But if it's a private thing, there wouldn't be a problem with the poster making an official school-sanctioned club (as added bonuses, then they can get funding, invite speakers, and they're covered under Title IX in case anyone tries to gently caress with them) instead, right?
Depends on the school, but I believe so. If the school has rules about sanctioned clubs and charters, they can be compelled to follow them. You can't do anything about a private club that isn't violating other school rules, but that also means you can find a sanctioned way to compete in theory.
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Jan 24, 2020 20:57
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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AITA for not following the standard double drive-thru etiquette?
In most cases at a double drive-thru, I usually follow the rule that you alternate going forward regardless of who orders first. That's just the easiest thing to do, especially when a restaurant is busy. However, the other day I was hit with a unique scenario and it's been bothering me ever since. As I pull up to a double drive-thru to get a quick breakfast before work, a car was just pulling forward out of line 1 and line 2 was empty. I pull into line 1 and place my order immediately, and then I wait...
After roughly 5 minutes, the line hadn't moved at all and there was one car in queue behind me. Meanwhile, line 2 was still sitting open and a truck pulls around the car behind me and places his order in line 2 and proceeds to pull forward and wait for his time to merge in line. I look in my mirror and see the frustration on the face of the guy behind me and I was feeling the same way. Now, this is the point where I would usually alternate and let the guy merge, but since I had ordered a full 5 minutes before he had even pulled into the parking lot, I felt like I had a rightful claim to pulling forward first.
Fast forward another ~10 minutes and this is how it goes down. Line 2 guy lets the car in front of me pull forward because he was obviously there before line 2 guy and then when the line moves again, I used my advantageous positioning behind the last car to merge to claim my spot and not give line 2 guy room to slip in. Line 2 guy immediately throws his hands up in the air and looks pretty angry. He rolls his window down and is yelling and screaming that it was his turn while calling me every name in the book. I calmly told him that I had been there 5 minutes before him and rolled my window back up as to not engage with him any further and this just seemed to piss him off even more. He gets in one more "gently caress you" and then glared at me for a few more minutes before I was able to pull forward again.
Am I the rear end in a top hat for not letting line 2 guy merge first?
I'm confused by how this went down. Did he order and then just sit for 5 minutes waiting for a non-existent car in the other line to appear just so he could follow his own code of conduct? Or was the single merged line not moving and the guy in the truck wouldn't even tell if it was "his turn" by the time there was an opening?
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Jan 24, 2020 22:29
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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I feel bad taking this secret to my grave. Should I tell him even if I’m 100% sure he will end things?
I feel like this is a recurring theme here.
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Jan 25, 2020 02:47
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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I [20M] do not understand why every girl I try to speak to ignores me
"There is literally nothing wrong with me!" I shout as I demand to know why nobody wants to talk to me for an extended period of time.
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Jan 27, 2020 18:05
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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AITA for voice recording my coworker who has a bad temper?
I work in software and I generally like my coworkers but I had one coworker who has a poor temper. He is able to control it if in front of the managers of course but he can't when he's dealing with people on his level, or less senior to him.. funny how that works.
I've learned my lesson to always get as much evidence as I can before I report something, I've had other experiences in college where failing to gather evidence basically left stuff unaddressed.
So at work, I used the audio recorder on my laptop to quietly record it when this guy started throwing a fit. I uploaded the recordings to my personal cloud storage.
And then after a month I went home and selected some of the worst parts. I put together about a minute clip.
And then I had my weekly meeting with my boss, and I told him that I was having difficulty working with AngryGuy because he does not keep his temper in check.
I said that he'd been too aggressive about work related stuff and had bought personal insults into it. My boss said that he's noticed AngryGuy doesn't always speak the most respectfully and he'd have a talk with him.
So I told my boss, before he had this talk, i thought there was something he should listen to so he understands the scope of the problem.
I played the audio and it wasn't a good look. It was basically a minute straight of really aggressive disrespectful behavior. I could tell he was shocked to hear it... And hear it go on and on.
I told my boss afterwards that I'd been subject to all that in just the last month, and that kind of language or tone was not something I wanted to hear again.
He asked me what I'd need to consider things resolved. I said that I'd need AngryGuy to gain full control of his temper and not speak that way to me or in front of me again. And if that was not possible, I would want added restrictions on how we could meet; he could not meet with me behind closed doors, all of our meetings would be conducted at tables in the public atrium. If that did not influence his behavior for the better, I would want all of our meetings to either be done over email or with a manager present.
My boss noted all that and went to speak to HR then to AngryGuy. And apparently they resolved things by moving him off the team onto a project where he would be the only software developer.
I was relived by that, but it's caused a bit of stress on the team. A couple people liked working with AngryGuy because of his smarts, and are annoyed I got him off the team. Plus a couple people think that recording him was dirty and underhanded.
AITA for how I handled things ay work?
Always record poo poo unless you can get in legal trouble for it. My employer has a nasty habit of forgetting (or "forgetting") conversations and trying to deny doing or saying damaging things, so I've gotten in the habit of refusing to handle any business like that except in written record. We've also made audio recordings of phone calls with customers when they're getting especially nasty or dangerous to back us up later.
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Jan 29, 2020 21:50
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Can I (35m) be friends with a beautiful young woman(27f) to whom I'm attracted without becoming romantic and/or ruining my marriage(45f)?
So many stories where the only advice you can give is "Have you considered not putting your hand on the stove burner next time?"
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Jan 30, 2020 20:54
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Boyfriend [25m] is upset that I [19f] received a massage from a man, and spent a day to myself. I'm starting to think maybe i was being a little insensitive? Don't know if it was cheating...
quote:Last night I got home from pampering myself. He knew that I was going out to spend a day to myself and relax. I spent about 7 hours at the spa, went shopping and then went out to dinner.
Anyway, when I got home last night (around 10) he was literally sitting right by the door. I smiled at him and said hi but he just stared at me blankly for a minute. Then he went off, asking where I was, why I didn't call him etc. Honestly my phone was on silent for the whole day because I was so busy. I told him where I went, and then he started asking me weird questions. I did get a massage by a man but only because only he was available when my appointed time for the message was there. It was so relaxing and there was nothing else there for me.
But to him, it was low-key cheating. He accused me of all these things, and said next time I should of told him where I was, and shouldn't of accepted any kind of "touch" from anyone but a woman. It's been a all night/morning thing now and he didn't even sleep in the bed with me last night. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I was a little insensitive--the whole not calling him for a day and everything. He's never really been mean like this to me before, and I'm so confused on how to handle this
tl;dr: boyfriend is accusing me of cheating because I didn't call him for a day and got a massage from a man. I'm having mixed feelings and don't know how to handle this? He didn't even sleep in the same bed as me last night.
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Jan 30, 2020 21:07
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Is Forever Alone really my fate? (30/F)
Lol it just occurred to her that being a jungle hermit with an exclusive sexual preference for white tourists passing through her Asian country might not be a conducive lifestyle for someone looking for a serious partner. Maybe she can the MeToo era's Tarzan and stumble across a shipwrecked survivor of something she can nurse back to health and form a lasting bond with.
"I reacted to being told my crush didn't like me by fleeing to the other side of the world and isolating myself. Is there any way for me to stay isolated but not have all the negative parts of it?"
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Feb 7, 2020 16:40
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Lol in the comments people are telling her to get therapy and she keeps saying it's too expensive. So someone asks the obvious question of how is international travel on a whim an option for you, but mental healthcare is too much money? Her reply:
Lol I feel like someone needs to appoint this woman a guardian to review all of her decisions before she makes them. She moved to the middle of nowhere jungle and earns $200/month total as a result. She could not have cut herself off from mainstream society any more thoroughly and the result seems entirely predictable, yet here she is...
Okay I just had to look up this one because I wanted to know more details. This girl is making no more than $500 a month "living her dream" as a jungle hermit, but the locals have clued in that she has cash and she ends up loaning or giving away most of it. She has no plans to leave Asia to live anywhere else, has no money for medication or therapy, but also refuses to leave the jungle and get a better paying job because she thinks she'll just get a PhD with this work somehow. And she stopped brushing her hair a month ago because she wants to get white girl dreads.
Also, she didn't get dumped, she got rejected. She never actually dated this guy, but him just saying he didn't want to date her was enough to cause her to have a massive breakdown and move to the other side of the world. She wants everything, freaks out when she doesn't get it, and can't handle the idea of making sacrifices.
Edit: She posted a TIFU about sharting herself on her first day at a new job. Somehow I believe this one.
chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 17:01 on Feb 7, 2020
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Feb 7, 2020 16:57
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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She's at least talking about enrolling in online therapy, but she just adamantly refuses to accept any lifestyle that isn't sitting in a Southeast Asian jungle analyzing plants while also demanding that the negative parts go away. One of her comments implies that she'd probably kill herself if she had to live in a city again.
quote:The running was a weird thing. I was planning on moving from my homestate before I had met this guy who broke my heart, but once my heart was broken it was like WHELP gently caress THIS IM GOING RIGHT NOW. Depressingly I was still hooked on this guy for nearly a year and a half until I went home to visit him for his birthday (yes I flew home to visit my ex-but-we-were-never-official for his birthday only to be rejected yet again). Sometimes I think I'm an emotional cutter. Intentionally hurting myself and causing pain. Maybe I'm a masochist.
Also, she posted an r4r:
quote:Hiya. I'm a 30/F American living in Vietnam. I'm a big nerd, I love science and learning and I live in the jungle so that I can study snails for fun.
I enjoy reading, video games (except I only have a Switch at the moment), drawing, exploring, traveling, chill electronica, trekking, scuba diving, driving around aimlessly...
I have worked as a waitress, bartender, laboratory technician, door to door salesperson, barista, bookseller, English teacher, tour guide, game advisor, writer, editor, freelancer, camp counselor, animal caretaker... My life goal is to live in the jungle, study stuff, and become the next Jane Goodall of bugs. I'm halfway there!
My sense of humour is terrible. Of course I think I'm hilarious but will you? xD I tend to overuse faces but I'm trying to tone it down.
I hate writing about myself so here's my tinder bio: "Amateur photographer, avid reader, vegan scum, anime nerd, solo traveller, science geek, dirty hippie, novice diver, nature lover, Reddit lurker, awkward gamer, world explorer, vagabond. I would rather be hiking."
Anyways, I don't really know why I'm posting here or what I'm expecting to find. Let's chat?
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Feb 7, 2020 17:12
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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This is what she posted about the city:
quote:Thank you for this well thought out answer. How will staying in the jungle limit my options in the future? If I am taking steps to go to therapy starting tomorrow I think that I should be on a better track for the rest of my 30's. Also I'm not afraid of the city air, I just hate the city. I nearly walked off my 16th story balcony many a time before I finally left the city. Seems a bit more dangerous than the air haha. I wouldn't mind hearing the rest of your story when you have time.
She just...can't grasp it.
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Feb 7, 2020 17:20
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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She's doing work that is meaningful to her and is happier as a hermit than otherwise. Maybe the person who's right for her will also be some hermit type. In any case, therapy will help her be happier with the circumstances and choices, even if some parts of what she wants and likes are in contradiction to other things that could make her happy. (for whom isnt that true?) Even if goons disagree with her choices.
The problem seems to be that she isn't happier as a hermit. She talks about how she loves her job and the isolation, but she's clearly upset about having to deal with the downsides. She wants the benefits of being the "Jane Goodall of bugs" living in the isolated Vietnamese wilderness while also having all the friends, romantic opportunities, and access to medication/therapy/school of life in civilization. Therapy can do something to mitigate her negativity, but she's not likely to actually get everything she wants when it's two mutually contradictory things (especially since she's making almost no money and admits to being a "sugar mama" for the locals in her comments, so she's greatly limiting her opportunities to get a favorable compromise too).
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Feb 7, 2020 17:50
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Apr 28, 2024 08:16
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Girlfriend (40F) broke up with me (30M) because I painted a swastika on my hand and her daughter saw it
Bam, swastika.
I notice how he never says at any point why he chose to not only draw a swastika, but was showing it off when he says he was nervous about his girlfriend seeing it. Did the ghost of Himmler possess his body or something? He's writing like he's dissociating.
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Feb 7, 2020 18:13
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Jan 13, 2020 17:10
