r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

ask him to get a penuma silicone sleeve

# ¿ Aug 13, 2020 23:49

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 19:06

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Idk man, most chicks look bangin with nubby little poppers, I think women subconsciously get those things to look pregnant. Like dudes want theyre pussy, most men are done with the boobs after nursing.

what

# ¿ Aug 14, 2020 02:01

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

other room mate also used it for drugs

# ¿ Aug 14, 2020 08:07

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Porfiriato posted:

She's never looked closely enough to notice that her boyfriend is actually five raccoons dressed in a trenchcoat.

raccoons take the time to wet their food for that sweet hand feel

# ¿ Aug 14, 2020 10:46

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

why would you listen to a tv show

# ¿ Aug 15, 2020 08:15

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

AITA for asking my date why her boobs got smaller?

quote:

I am, or I guess was dating this girl, Amanda.

We went on a couple dates together, and we decided to have sex today. So, we went to my place and after she tidied up, her boobs got noticeably smaller. I just asked her because I thought she was padding. It�s not like her bra was padded because she was still wearing it.

It turns out she used a prosthetic breast because she had a mastectomy after surviving breast cancer. The thing is, I never knew any of this. She never told me. Safe to say, we didn�t have sex that night and she called me an rear end in a top hat for pointing her out on her lie? I seriously don�t know why I�m the rear end in a top hat.

Some of my female friends also said I was being an rear end in a top hat because I shouldn�t ever say that to a women. They compared it to my dick, which makes no sense. You can�t see dick cleavage.

So, AITA?

# ¿ Aug 15, 2020 09:51

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Soylent Pudding posted:

his ex fianc� was kind of a gold digger

was she tho

# ¿ Aug 19, 2020 18:14

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Pirate Radar posted:

You don�t need to give a poo poo about the prenup. You need to give a poo poo about the will.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2020 22:19

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not wanting a child to cut my wedding cake before me?

lol her username

# ¿ Aug 23, 2020 19:43

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA For telling off my delusional roommate?

quote:

I never harassed anyone.

quote:

It's not harassment tho. I never showed up to her place of work or anything like that, she could have just ignored it. You can't be bullied or harassed online, just turn off the computer.

quote:

Even if it was against the law she would NEVER press charges. She's poor.

# ¿ Aug 27, 2020 03:15

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Funky See Funky Do posted:

It's such a dumb thing to worry about. About 50% of all wedding photos have exes in them.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2020 04:30

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Invisible Clergy posted:

Leave her alone permanently. What a psycho.

AITA For Limiting the amount of water my son can drink?

Buy a brita filter.

if these are the smaller bottles of water then he's drinking a normal amount lmao

# ¿ Sep 5, 2020 17:17

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

MarcusSA posted:

The daughter in law is the mother to the step daughter.

where did you read that

# ¿ Sep 12, 2020 02:56

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

AITA for being mad that my husband let us buy a (possibly) haunted house?

quote:

I also told our children about it so they can be safe and aware but my husband is mad at me because they�re scared now too. I am hoping that the previous family was either hallucinating - but both the wife and kids?

# ¿ Sep 13, 2020 03:01

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

anything that could actually repel ghosts would force your spirit out of your own body, leaving a zombie husk.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2020 11:06

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

why were they wet

# ¿ Sep 14, 2020 08:37

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Arsenic Lupin posted:

You can be in the UK. In the UK, medicine is an undergraduate degree that lasts a long time.

why would the mom be worried about calling an ambulance in the uk?

# ¿ Sep 15, 2020 05:40

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

cumshitter posted:

Really wanna know what investments they had that would have left them penniless. Assuming they had no bonds and were only in index funds they would have lost a little less than a third of everything if they panic sold at the very bottom of the market around 3/23.

Like you'd have to be doing Wall Street Bets kind of poo poo in your 50's to end up penniless.

margin trading

# ¿ Sep 15, 2020 09:33

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

mortgaging the house to buy funko pops

# ¿ Sep 15, 2020 09:41

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

canyoneer posted:

Remembering this dude who dressed up for a corporate party at a plantation as a period accurate slave.

the four pictures of the woman on the stairs are just :discourse:

# ¿ Sep 24, 2020 00:02

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

how much would you tip someone who refurbished your heirloom ring?

# ¿ Sep 27, 2020 16:37

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Miss posted:

Took in my little brother. It�s become a nightmare.

so the job he has didn't require an ID but pays him with a check?

# ¿ Sep 28, 2020 09:19

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

my adam sandler collection

# ¿ Oct 3, 2020 00:27

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Mozi posted:

anyone who wants to laugh at adam sandler movies should be able to

most people just outgrow them at six months

# ¿ Oct 3, 2020 01:08

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Invisible Clergy posted:

Holy poo poo,

AITA for telling my sister's simp followers she has a boyfriend?

"used to be a simp"

sure buddy

# ¿ Oct 3, 2020 04:36

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

she's loving with him

# ¿ Oct 3, 2020 15:43

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

muscles like this! posted:

They could always hope that whoever buys the house wants to rent it out too. Although when that happened to me the new owners decided to try and evict us even though we had a lease.

she gave them notice so she can sell it empty

# ¿ Oct 6, 2020 14:18

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

my rock hard and throbbing fear of needles

# ¿ Oct 10, 2020 13:52

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Invisible Clergy posted:

My Roommate From Hell Story
..My new landlord heard the story and is offering 3 months of free rent to help me out..

fake

# ¿ Oct 11, 2020 15:02

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Vim Fuego posted:

AITA for making my daughter get her own place after getting pregnant?

quote:
She said she found an app where you can get men to donate sperm for free or low cost. She said she found one, used a dropper of some sort, all done at an Air B&B. She assured me he got an STD panel and that his only contribution was sperm.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2020 09:11

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Motherfucker posted:

That kid rules at pranks.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2020 10:42

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Invisible Clergy posted:

Why? She cheated on op with his brother. He should be exactly as suspicious of her.

i don't think that was his wife

# ¿ Dec 16, 2020 09:03

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Doc Hawkins posted:

god drat what a use of spoiler

# ¿ Dec 26, 2020 04:19

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

sebmojo posted:

Very same

# ¿ Mar 29, 2021 13:38

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

Barudak posted:

Passersby where amazed at the unusually large amounts of blood

Baronjutter posted:

Fence had to be moved to the real property line at great expense and now they had lost the few feet my grandpa was fine with then having.

your grandpa really botched the ending

# ¿ Apr 18, 2021 10:14

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

and deleted

# ¿ May 26, 2021 02:19

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 19:06

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

AITA for accidentally making my brother cry?

quote:

I know it sounds bad, but I'm not really sure how to feel about it.

For backstory, I'm 17 and my brother (I'll call him Ethan, not his real name) is 10. Ever since COVID hit, he's been super annoying and always wanting to spend time with me. I can understand this to a certain degree, as not being able to see his friends as much has made him turn to me more for friendship. But we don't like any of the same things so it's really hard to relate to him or want to spend time with him. I'm into reading philosophy and listening to classic rock. Ethan likes to play Fortnite and is obsessed with TikTok and rappers like Travis Scott... anyways, my mom has noticed that he's been trying to spend more time with me so every Sunday she makes me take him to get lunch or ice cream at one of the neighborhood restaurants. I kind of think it's a waist of time because it's not gonna lead to a friendship or anything (because we are so different), but sometimes we've had a laugh or two on these Sunday lunches.

Anyways, onto the story. Yesterday we were eating lunch at the diner and my biggest crush in school walks in and sees us. Immediately I was already embarrased to be seen with him, but I tried to keep my cool. My crush comes over and asks if she can sit down and I say yes. She chats a bit with me and then tries to get to know my little bro. She asks what he likes to do and he tells her "I really like playing Fortnite and watching Marvel Movies." At this point I'm rolling my eyes because I doubt my crush even knows what any of that stuff is. She says "Oh thats so cool" or something like that but I can tell she's forcing it. I try to change the subject but she keeps going back to Ethan for some reason. Eventually she starts asking about his friends and he says "Well my best friend in the world is my brother" and looks over at me and I just wanted to sink in my seat. Idk what came over me but I said angrily "We're not friends, I'm only hanging out with you because I have to".

Of course, he starts to cry and embarassing both of us. My crush wasn't really saying anything. So I made something up about needing to bring him home and I walked back home with him. He told my mom what happened and my mom grounded me (I'm literally 17 and she is still grounding me). And she said she was disappointed in me for not being nicer to my brother.

So I do feel guilty about making him cry but I do think he should grow up a bit and rely on his own friends, rather than clinging to me and trying to embarass me in front of someone I like. Am i the rear end in a top hat?

# ¿ Oct 5, 2021 10:54

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)