r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

DemoneeHo posted:

My Wife Wants Us to Have Sex With Her Brother

# ¿ Feb 17, 2020 16:25

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 14:38

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

Sloth Life posted:

How is the answer "I'm not comfortable" and not the sound of a scream receding into the distance??
The screaming should have started as soon as he was asked to role-play her literal actual daddy. Jesus I'm horrified

Yeah, the cologne bit made my eyebrows orbit right over the top of my head. Just.. goddamn.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2020 16:39

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

big dyke energy posted:

It's just cream soda with butterscotch syrup you can make it at home.

My pancreas just started aching.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2020 00:26

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Aita for telling my girlfriend to stop picking up earthworms in front of my friends?

There's literally no way of writing this without it sounding weird but there you go...

My girlfriend (26F) and I (27M) have been dating for 3 months. She's super cool and it's all going really well, so I thought it was time to introduce her to my friends from school back home. Now, some things to note about my girlfriend: she's quite petite, probably about 5ft, and she dresses like - I quote - a 'kids' TV presenter.' She also gets very excited about things very easily. This means that she often gets read as being a lot younger than she actually is, which can be annoying but is also hilarious as she's probably the most intelligent person I've ever met. It's an odd contradiction but I think it's really cute.

When we got to my hometown, we decided to meet my friends at a local park which has a lake and a set of gardens. It had been raining the day before and the ground was still pretty wet, but we planned on walking around the lake with my friends, because we all live life on the edge. We got there and everyone seemed to like my girlfriend and they all got on well.

It changed when she noticed that there were lots of earthworms that had got themselves stranded on the wet pavement. My girlfriend is a complete softie when it comes to worms and snails and she always saves them whenever she sees them. It's a personality quirk. She has a folder of photos on her phone of all the worms and snail 'friends' she makes and she carries a bottle of hand sanitiser with her at all times, just in case.

So as soon as she realised that there were worms that needed saving, she got right to work, and just knelt down right there on the ground in front of my friends and started picking up the worms, literally talking to them and saying stuff like (I wish I were kidding) "let's sort you out, you've got yourself into a real situation here."

My friends all started laughing then, and I honestly couldn't tell if they were laughing with or at her, so I said to her "hey, do you think you could give the worm stuff a rest?" and she said "just let me pick up a couple more," to which I said "let's pay attention to my human friends, not your worm ones, like adults do," and that made her stop. She looked kind of embarrassed and I felt bad, and then all my friends told her that we could have a worm rescuing session if she wanted, but she seemed reluctant.

My friends all told me later that they really liked her, and they thought the worm thing was cute, but she's stopped showing me photos of the little critters on her phone now and I'm worried I was a total rear end in a top hat and need to apologise. The reason I'm not sure I'm TA is that I told her to stop because I was worried my friends were laughing at her, so I said it to protect her, not shame her. Aita?

Fuuuuuck this guy. Girl sounds awesome.

Oh no! My girlfriend is showing humanity and concern for small creatures, and I don't know how to read the situation. Better put a stop to this!

shitbag

# ¿ Feb 23, 2020 14:59

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

Machai posted:

Seal yourself in a big Amazon box on the front porch and wait for her to take you upstairs.

As long as your name isn't Waldo Jeffers, you should be fine.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2020 17:01

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

don longjohns posted:

One of my middle names is misspelled on my birth certificate but spelled correctly on my Social Security Card. That has caused me more problems than I ever thought possible.

Chrystal's life must have been a nightmare in comparison.

For what it's worth: the dude at my local social security office said that your birth certificate means gently caress all if you have a social security card. Whatever is on the SSA card is what your name is, as far as government functions are concerned.

I can corroborate this from local dealings. In Kentucky, at least. Who knows what the gently caress other states do.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2020 00:21

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

Oh yeah, I don't have a RealID yet, so I don't know. If I have to go with the first and middle name crammed into the first name field again on my drivers license, I will lose my loving mind.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2020 01:11

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

When did 'tiddy' become a thing? I thought it was 'titties' or just 'tits' for that single syllable "oomph".

E: I guess for context I should clarify: one of those mouse pads has "Tiddy Mouse Pad" as its description.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2020 13:02

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

Fuuuuuuck that teacher. I was in the literal bottom numerical 10 in my graduating high school class, took a year off, and ended up graduating with a 4.0, at the top of my engineering class at college.

People change and public school performance and behavior means nothing, because sometimes students treat public school like the joke it usually is. gently caress off and mind your own business.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2021 22:57

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

Arsenic Lupin posted:

She doubles down in the comments:

Wow. It's almost like people pick up on lovely nosey people and want nothing to do with them. :thunk:

# ¿ Feb 24, 2021 23:08

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

quote:

mind my own business

Wow. Given those circumstances, this is the single thing you absolutely should not do.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2021 02:45

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

Loving the life insurance one.

"I can't trust you enough to not want to kill me for a few hundred thousand dollars, but I will stay with you and continue to let myself fall asleep next to you every night."

# ¿ Mar 21, 2021 18:32

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Found it!

So many shown whole asses, that poo poo can't be safe for work.

as a boring white man, white people need to shut the gently caress up and sit down

# ¿ Apr 5, 2021 18:21

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

LadyPictureShow posted:

Ever just wanna be a little psycho?

With a personality like that? Ain't no way she's keeping that poo poo edible.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2021 19:52

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

What possible good could come from sticking around? Just sever. Preferably from a distance so she can't murder you in a fit of rage.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2021 22:13

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

Poor Matt. That sounds weird and uncomfortable as hell.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2021 01:41

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

He needs to leave skid marks in her underwear for her to handle by herself, then go to his grave denying it was him.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2021 12:47

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

and the picture is... quite something. :stare:

# ¿ Apr 30, 2021 23:08

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

Sisal Two-Step posted:

Romcom poisoning, eh?

AITA for telling a friend that his rejection was inevitable?

Hahahahahahaha

This is the good poo poo. This is what keeps us going.

# ¿ May 1, 2021 21:48

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

Taybaysco sauce

# ¿ May 12, 2021 02:45

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

Literally the best thing you can do with contrarians / skeptics / devil's advocates is to excise them from your life.

I knew one once and no matter what the topic of discussion was, they insisted on digging into everything, like down to "can you really be sure that the M.D. on that byline is actually a medical doctor? how do you know his bona fides? do you really trust the publication to verify his credentials?" blah blah blah. I eventually just stopped talking to him.

Like a healthy bit of skepticism, I get, and understand. But the pathological need to argue with people is just tedious and boring. Those kinds of people have nothing of value to say, and do nothing to enrich your life. The sooner you remove them from it, the happier you will be.

# ¿ May 23, 2021 21:11

NecroBob: Jul 29, 2003

DaveSauce posted:

"You're a poo poo engineer if you can't give an exact answer in 10 seconds" is quite the hot take. Usually the question is, "hey the customer asked for a ball fondler, can we do that?" 90% of the time there's no timeline, there's no budget, it's just an open ended question that can be answered a million ways.

Everything is do-able, just depends on the time/budget constraints. If I blindly say yes, then I'll get yelled at when it costs twice what you expected and doesn't even look like what you envisioned. Do you mind if it takes a week? What about 4 weeks? Do you need a Gold Plated Ball Fondler, or is plastic OK? Does the ball fondler need to be size and height adjustable? Does it need speed controls?

Engineers aren't telepathic, we need to know the constraints of what you're asking to give a proper answer. There's no unspoken "reasonable amount of work," because that's a number that exists solely in your head. What you think is reasonable is wildly different from what I think is reasonable, and both those numbers are different from what management thinks is reasonable.

Yeah, unless the question is something absurdly simple like "how long would it take to count the number of ASCII characters in the text of this children's book, already in a handy plain text file format", any given timeline is going to range from "mildly inaccurate" to "hilariously wrong".

Part of engineering is figuring out what the requirement provider actually needs and what their requirements actually are, not just "hey can you make a widget". That takes quite a while sometimes.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2021 19:31