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DemoneeHo posted:Help! I Think My Girlfriend Is Making Up Her Sensitivity to Smell. As someone with a scent sensitivity, his girlfriend deserves way better than this jerk who jumped straight to the conclusion she's been faking it. I don't react to every single scented product in the entire world, but the categories he mentioned (candles, plug-ins, and bath/body products) are among the biggest offenders. There's one brand of spray air freshener that doesn't bother me for some reason, and I tend to be fine with many things that are essential oil based. It's weird that he's been dating this chick long enough for her issue to affect his life but he still doesn't understand that it's not universal, not always an instant reaction, and relies on her actually being able to smell it. I get that it's probably frustrating; I always feel like a drag when I need to switch seats or move to a different area to escape wafting perfume or body spray. But my friends do this adorable thing where they'll all act like they were also grossed out by the smell because they're not looking for excuses to criticize me.
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Oct 27, 2020 19:32
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New Coke posted:I would be really loving mad about it and I definitely can't blame the OP for not being willing to donate again. But, I like to think that if I were in their position, I would still prioritize trying to save that 12 year old. You'd be mad at a family for being protective of their "extremely shy" kid who'd recently gone through a heart transplant? Letting the donor's family listen to the heart would have been a nice gesture, but it's not something a shy kid should be pressured into if they don't seem comfortable with being touched by a stranger, especially given everything the kid must have gone through during their illness. And trying to guilt trip them into it was lovely. OP is obviously under no obligation to see if she's a match for this family, and if she'd said that she wasn't willing to risk major surgery for this relative stranger then she'd be 100% NTA. The family also shouldn't be badgering her about it after her refusal. But she makes it sound like she's declining the request specifically because these folks put their child's comfort over her feelings, which... is what parents are supposed to do?
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Nov 8, 2020 21:29
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sephiRoth IRA posted:Anyone being asked to donate an organ that says no is 100% NTA regardless of their reason. I probably didn't phrase that very well. I have zero problem in the world with someone choosing not to go through the process of donating an organ. I have a problem with OP (and the person I quoted) acting as if OP's anger over not getting to touch this reluctant kid was justified. It is also wrong for the family to keep bugging OP about a donation, but both OP and the kid should have their bodily autonomy respected here. OP making it sound as if she'd have considered the donation if the family had let her listen to the heart before makes her sound like an entitled jerk, and so does the fact that she tried to guilt them into getting what she wanted.
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Nov 9, 2020 00:21
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AITA for ordering “immature” food at a fancy restaurant?quote:I went to a pretty nice restaurant with my boyfriend and his friends yesterday. They live out of town and I haven’t met all of them before. It was us and four other people, all couples. My bf has known them since he was a teenager. They’re all 7-8 years older than me and all have nice full time jobs and went to private school. OP got dressed down for ordering a perfectly normal meal off the restaurant's regular menu, and now she's wondering if she's the problem here? It sounds like the boyfriend's friends have been either unaware of the age gap + different background here or they've been actively ribbing him for it, so he's hyperaware of any slight thing that might contradict whatever "she's really mature for her age, no really," stories he's been spinning.
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Nov 12, 2020 23:15
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Regardless of who counts as STEM, OP in that story is still a petty poo poo for calling his colleague out over small talk instead of just judging her silently.
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Nov 16, 2020 04:54
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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA for telling my son off? The dog owner is pretty lucky here, too. My dog is scared of kids, which is something we've worked on with her enough that she's fine to, for example, walk by the playground at the park. But we sometimes run into families who think their kids should be able to just run up to pet her, and when we explain she isn't good with that, they act as if we shouldn't have her out in public ever. Even though she's the one on the leash and completely under our control in these situations. She's never snapped or lunged towards anyone, in fact, her usual move when kids are around is to hide behind my legs. I've had children try to move past me when I'm intentionally blocking them from her and telling them "no" though, and I'm afraid of what could end up happening to my dog if some obsessed kid gets around me and ends up getting a bite.
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Nov 16, 2020 20:08
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At least then I'd be up on charges instead of fending off animal control, so that'd probably be worth it.
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Nov 16, 2020 20:26
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quote:
He is literally saying this about a crude reference to his wife's sex life that has his wife's name on it. The worst part of this is that she's clearly put some thought into explaining exactly why she hates this stupid thing and how bad it makes her feel, and he's like, "but hon, bro joke gag gift!!"
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Nov 17, 2020 14:58
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wizardofloneliness posted:Some people will get real weird and go to great lengths to conceal the existence of death from their children. Hell, there's tons of examples in this thread alone, like the parents who lied to their young son that the cat ran away when they knew it actually got hit by a car, resulting in him getting incredibly anxious and crying himself to sleep for a month straight about his poor cat being outside all scared and alone. I think the older brother finally told him the truth and the parents got pissed. When I was around four I was told that my dog ran away, and I spent years thinking that must have been my fault because I accidentally stepped on his tail once. Apparently what really happened was that our rear end in a top hat neighbor shot it, but nobody wanted to tell me it had died. I didn't find out until I was nearly 30. It was a weird thing to cover up because my family hunted so I understood the concept of dead animals, and we all avoided playing close to that neighbor's yard anyway because the guy used to curse at us and would occasionally walk around in his front yard carrying a pistol. But rather than telling me what happened, or at least a sanitized version, they let me believe that my dog left on purpose because of something I did. To be fair, I don't think they understood just how convinced I was that I made the dog run away. But I used to call for him sometimes, just in case, and it was a little hosed up that they let me go on hoping like that.
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Nov 21, 2020 08:04
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I changed my name when I got married, and I still hate being addressed as Mrs. HisName OurName because deciding to make that switch doesn't erase my entire goddamn identity.
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Nov 25, 2020 00:02
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As a middle-aged woman who's played both video games and all kinds of of tabletop stuff for decades, guys who get weird over me being any good at "their" hobby is a pretty common thing. I have some established groups now so it's easier to avoid, but I've met so many men who automatically assume that I can't keep up or learn the rules and then get surly if I do well. It's like they want me to understand whatever we're playing well enough to be impressed with them but not enough to actually compete.
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Dec 2, 2020 16:57
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All these delivery room stories that have been cropping up lately feel like just another example of the ways that women in heterosexual relationships are expected to put a male partner's needs and feelings ahead of their own. I wouldn't blame anyone for being sad or disappointed at being excluded, but blowing up an otherwise happy marriage over a birthing plan makes the guy sound like one of those people who's so used to getting catered to that they can't deal with not being the top priority.
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Dec 12, 2020 17:01
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I don't get why anyone would think that the wife finally snapping is the problem here instead of the twin that lied about being okay with their relationship, sexually harassed his sister-in-law, called his brother a loser, and then chose to drive drunk? Do these parents not understand that they can love their son while still acknowledging that he can be an rear end in a top hat?
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Dec 21, 2020 18:11
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PetraCore posted:...and honestly his new wife should be aware he has another kid even just from the financial angle of he pays money every month. Yeah, this is not just about some dumb youthful mistake of not wearing a condom. It's about OP's constant, ongoing decision to hide this kid's existence from his wife, who deserves to know that her husband bought his way out of the inconvenience of being a young father. It sure as hell sounded like part of the reason he was so cold about all this was to keep his new family from learning about this. AnoHito posted:He said in the replies that his current wife knows about it, even if his wife almost certainly wouldn't want to meet his love child from a decade and a half ago. It's always interesting when an OP manages to leave mitigating info of the actual post and only remembers to bring it up once they're being criticized for that element of a story. deety fucked around with this message at 19:02 on Dec 28, 2020 |
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Dec 28, 2020 18:58
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Apparently he only explained that his wife knows later on in the comments once people started asking. But his original post referenced the awkwardness of introducing his son to his current wife, which sure made it sound like a secret. Edit: Yeah, I sure do feel like I need forgiveness for assuming the worst about someone who walked away from their child. It's not like men in that situation often arrange informal child support in amounts less than a court might order or anything. deety fucked around with this message at 19:07 on Dec 28, 2020 |
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Dec 28, 2020 19:05
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Kenshin posted:You are a very broken person and should see a therapist about your obvious parent/child relationship issues I'm sure my issues are much worse than whatever would make someone call a stranger broken over disagreeing with them on the internet.
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Dec 28, 2020 20:25
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RenegadeStyle1 posted:How did it make it sound like a secret? Do you think everyone you haven't met is a secret being held from you? Did you read the rest of the thread before replying or were you just too eager to join the pile-on? OP did not explain that his wife knew in his original post. He said it would be awkward to introduce his kid to his wife, which doesn't make much sense given how common blended families are. The explanation that his wife already knew was apparently in a comment he added later, and was cross-posted in the thread during the time I was writing my first response. Paying child support doesn't automagically mean his wife knew about that first kid given that couples sometimes have separate finances and that financial support for a child is sometimes under the table. There were already multiple people in the thread posting about how he was hiding the kid, too, so sorry if I went off the story as it was being talked about here instead of finding the thread and then tracking down whatever comment OP clarified the situation in. The number of people in this thread happy to excuse this guy for denying even casual contact with his son because of an agreement the mother made is pretty interesting. It feels like a lot of folks are sympathetic to the guy in this story because they wouldn't have wanted to sign up for full-on fatherhood after unprotected sex, but there's no empathy for the mother's apparent regret at making a no-contact agreement on her son's behalf.
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Dec 28, 2020 21:29
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CharlestheHammer posted:Goons taking the rear end in a top hat fathers side is genuinely surprising It is, which is making me wonder if the changed environment around here in the past decade or so is more surface level than I've been assuming. Having flashbacks to all those mid-00s goon discussions about how unfair life is for men.
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Dec 28, 2020 23:00
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Condoms are only a valid long-term birth control option for dudes who value the physical and mental well-being of a partner who's had problems with other methods over maximizing their own pleasure and convenience. He has an absolute right to bodily autonomy here, but given that his spouse has a history of awful experiences with many kinds of birth control, he's coming across as the kind of dirtbag who thinks she should just deal with any pain or side effects to please him.
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Jan 6, 2021 17:44
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Kenshin posted:Now, if he'd been bugging her to get her tubes tied before this (but she doesn't mention this at all!) then that'd be one thing. But if this was actually out of the blue like it sounds? I don't really get this part though. Is she only supposed to ask him to look into what a vasectomy might entail if he suggested another surgical procedure for her first? Before they had the kid, she did two IUD insertions (which are intensely painful for many women), one surgical IUD removal, and had an implant inserted and then removed after realizing that the implant basically gave her an eternal period. She can't take the pill, and even if she could, loving about with her hormones is not a great idea when dealing with PPD. She went through a gently caress of a lot for the sake of their pre-baby family planning, so it seems perfectly fair to ask him to at least look into a more permanent solution, especially if he's the one who's most adamant about not having any more kids. You make a good point that these folks are in a bad situation overall, and it would be unfortunate but fair if he looked into the procedure and decided he wasn't comfortable with the level of risk. Instead he refused to discuss it, sarcastically quoted a pro-life slogan, and rubbed his depressed and injured wife's face in the fact that she hadn't been up for sex lately anyway. That alone is enough to make him a poo poo, even given the stress of being a new father. It's entirely possible that she's leaving out some context here. But the idea that birth control is a lady problem for ladies to handle and deal with all the repercussions of is still annoyingly common.
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Jan 6, 2021 21:09
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Peaceful Anarchy posted:She's interpreting it as a serious conclusion he's reached about not wanting any more kids, so the solution is "well, let's look into how to ensure that." But if he's just expressing frustration and not particularly convinced that's actually what he wants, then "go look into a vasectomy then" as a response probably reads to him in the same tone as his "we're not having sex anyway" response, a petty snipe to put the issue entirely in the other person's court instead of dealing with the underlying issue of mental health and not knowing how to deal with a baby. This makes sense, thanks. I was interpreting the birth control discussion as something she brought up as a step towards reestablishing a normal sex life.
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Jan 6, 2021 22:33
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Cowslips Warren posted:The truly stupid thing is, that Ned had another brother they could have pinned the baby on. You know, the younger brother that went and joined the night watch. What's one more lie to tell your new wife when you bring home a pretty young baby? It would have been very easy to spin Jon Snow as benjens bastard, and it would make total sense that Ned would want to raise him, and it's not like anyone would question that. It's been forever since I read those, but I think Benjen stayed at Winterfell during the war and didn't join the Watch until after Ned came home with Jon. So if everyone at the castle sees Ned show up with a baby but Benjen's been home this whole time, that raises a lot more gossip about who the mother is and draws more attention to Jon. Also, it makes Benjen look like the kind of guy who'd learn he had a baby but then gently caress off and join the Watch anyway, and if either of them was going to look a little disreputable, then Ned would take that on himself. Ned handled a lot of things in stupid ways, but the whole point of his character is that he's the honorable lord from a stereotypical fantasy novel, and that hosed his family over in this type of setting. I feel really bad for Lego Dad because it's going to be easier for his ex to paint him as a monster for suing over toys than if the thief took a similar value of art or wine or something.
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Jan 17, 2021 06:32
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for calling my brother an “insecure, testicle grabbing, chauvinist man-baby” over his comments about my wife’s makeup? Nice to see an example of a poster who isn't annoyed with or embarrassed by their partner's style. It's a little creepy that this guy's brother would see his sister-in-law over video chat and decide that she looked too good to be faithful though. I want to ask how someone reaches their late 30s without learning that fashion and makeup are actual hobbies that some folks enjoy, but I guess I already know the answer to that one...
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Jan 19, 2021 07:23
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sullat posted:In America there's a similar tradition where if you're driving through really rural towns in the west the police will pull you over and claim you're going 20 miles faster than you really are, and issue you a ticket. If you disagree you can come back two months later and fight it in court where they'll all laugh at you for wasting your time trying to fight it. A friend of mine got hit with this back in college, and she was so sure she wasn't speeding that she took her car to her mechanic and found out the speedometer was actually 15 mph off. She drove all the way back out to bumfuck for her court date, then had her turn with an assistant DA who could either dismiss the ticket or make her wait on the judge. The guy looked at the paperwork from her mechanic and made noises about letting her off the hook right up until she thanked him and explained that there was no way she could have stayed in court all day because she had to get back for a midterm. So of course she ended up wasting most of that day, paying the mechanic's fee, and having to pay the ticket because she didn't realize that the people in the rural speed trap county courthouse were looking for excuses to take her money.
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Jan 22, 2021 21:35
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It was a twenty year old car that she'd had for less than a month at that point; the trip through bumfuck was its first long highway drive. She claims that she was staying with traffic when she got pulled, which was in a pretty notorious speed trap between our school and the beach. I grew up in a rural area in the same part of the state, and it would not have surprised me to learn that she wasn't actually going a full twenty over.
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Jan 23, 2021 01:09
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I feel really sorry for the daughter who's repeatedly said she doesn't want unsolicited advice from or political chats with Steven only to have her mom drone on about how his sexist, out-of-touch perspective is so helpful though! And I wonder if he spoke up on that call because he just couldn't resist butting or if he got a kick out of letting her know the discussion wasn't private. Hell, I go to another room when my mother-in-law calls my husband because she talks loudly enough to easily overhear. We have a good relationship, but listing when she doesn't know I'm there still feels icky.
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Jan 24, 2021 22:29
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If the succulents that bride stole were big enough to use as wedding centerpieces, then her SIL had either spent years growing them to that size or had put effort into figuring out arrangements of smaller plants that work well together (which can get expensive). Plants are only a minor hobby for me, but I'm attached to my oldest ones and also have a few nostalgic planters, including some inherited ones that I'd really miss if they were stolen. I can't imagine how much worse that kind of thing would feel to someone with more of a passion for gardening. I also don't buy that this was a last-minute idea that this woman thought up while she just happened to have unsupervised access to her SIL's place right before the wedding. One of my most prominent memories of planning our mostly diy reception was that we had a running joke about how many people asked about our centerpieces. It's not something the average bride would be allowed to forget until a day or two in advance.
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Jan 29, 2021 06:30
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AITA for insisting my in laws replace my sons car seat instead of my nephews?quote:Hey Reddit! I am married to a great man and we have a son together, “Noah” (3m). My husbands sister and her partner also have a son the same age, “Brody”. We don’t speak very often as we tend to clash a little bit, but are usually civil enough for the kids sake. Sometimes with lovely in-law stories you can at least see where they're coming from, even if where they're coming from is stupid and unfair. But MIL is just flagrantly insisting that a carseat upgrade for her favorite grandchild, who still has one, is more important than OP's son having a useable carseat at all. If the crash made them realize that cheaping out on Brody's carseat was the wrong call, then great! Get him a new one too! But that doesn't absolve them of the responsibility of replacing the one that they borrowed and then ruined. The real question is where the gently caress OP's husband is in all of this and why he isn't the one insisting his mom do the right thing.
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Jan 29, 2021 20:04
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I get that none of this is easy, but it feels gross that part of this guy's excuse for pushing the teenager into more of a hands-on carer role is that being there for his wife, who could die of cancer, is keeping him from visiting his aging mother. Because hey, his mom's not going to be around forever!
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Feb 3, 2021 21:57
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Since OP mentioned in a comment that he has several other siblings, including one who also volunteered to be the guardian, OP's wife had no reason to assume that they would be the only possible option to raise the kids in despite their "no kids" agreement. There's nothing wrong with OP feeling strongly about becoming a guardian if necessary, but he should have brought up his agreement to do so before getting married. And failing to communicate that decision isn't just lovely to his wife. It's also lovely to his brother, who clearly thought OP's wife knew about (and was okay with) the guardianship idea. Instead OP's lack of communication put his wife on the spot and gave a grieving widower reasons to fear that the guardianship plans for his kids weren't as stable as expected. My husband and I were pretty sure we wouldn't end up with any nieces or nephews, but we still talked about how we'd handle this kind of thing before getting married. We also worked out what we'd most likely want to do for other family support situations. OP's wife probably should have pushed for similarly detailed discussions, but as the person who was already part of a specific legal agreement, it was OP's responsibility to share what he'd agreed to. Personally, if my husband had formally agreed to take guardianship of a child and failed to mention that until years after we met and married, I'd wonder what else he never felt the need to tell me about.
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Feb 8, 2021 16:03
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In other "boot your partner immediately into the sun" news: AITA for wanting to "verify" my husband's chores? quote:I feel like I might be going nuts and need a sanity check. OP didn't mention until the comments that she's also handling most of the care of their 5 month old baby because she's a freelance worker with more flexible hours. So in addition to being a poo poo who cheats to get out of chores, he's a poo poo who cheats to shift more chores to the working, deeply tired mother of his infant.
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Feb 9, 2021 07:07
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teen witch posted:AITA for taking video games away as intervention for neglect? Imagine being up your son's rear end far enough to have Firm Opinions about his wife's daily activities but, at the same time, not knowing enough about that wife to tell the difference between her job and leisure time.
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Feb 10, 2021 14:46
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I like how peanut butter guy goes into a ton of detail about how crazy his wife is and how funny it was when their son started teasing their daughter over peanut butter too, and then at the very end he slides in that he snooped through her phone instead of, like, just talking to her about it.
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Feb 10, 2021 23:11
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Yeah, this guy wanted access to a Jeep he could use for camping and carrying things while he still got the fun daily driver. Has he learned nothing from years worth of public mockery of those "buy your spouse a Brand X car" holiday commercials?
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Feb 11, 2021 05:55
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If I'd been dating someone who dangled a proposal for years, claimed to have already bought a ring when I got sad about not being engaged yet, and then just tossed a bubble mailer at me a month and a half later with a ring that was the exact opposite of what we'd talked about, I'd assume that he gave zero shits about our relationship. And putting in that little effort is kind of a win/win for the guy because either his girlfriend shuts up about wanting to be married for at least another year or two or he ends up with a sympathetic break-up story about being rejected by a gold digger. His whole anti-jewelry rant also gives off a pretty strong "things girls like or care about are stupid" vibe.
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Feb 13, 2021 23:57
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That coffee rear end in a top hat keeps accusing his ex's brother of being a bully for physically intimidating him, but somehow he has zero awareness of how playing keep away with his ex's coffee and shouting at her would also have felt threatening. He sounds like enough of a petulant poo poo that I'd be a little worried about him wrecking her stuff before he leaves.
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Feb 15, 2021 17:45
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Xachariah posted:Sounds like he likes food salty and spicy and he thinks he can "convert" people who don't like that as much as he does. My husband tried this with me for a bit. I've always been a bit picky and have never had any tolerance for heat in a dish (other spices are fine though), so my husband tried secretly adding small amounts of hot stuff in hopes of easing me into spicier food. The difference between him and this rear end in a top hat is that he only did it when he was the one cooking, always admitted it when I noticed, and after the second time that I had to order takeout, he just started dishing me a plate and then adding more seasoning to his own helping. We found out many years later that I have a mild allergy to all kinds of peppers, which would have been nice to know before decades of "try this, it's not spicy" attempts from well-intentioned friends.
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Feb 18, 2021 14:51
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There also isn't enough emphasis on the father leaving his first family in a bad enough financial situation that his oldest took on debt to help the others while their dad was paying for a membership at OP's tennis club. But nah, OP, let's just all believe that all four of this man's kids and both his exes hate his guts for no reason. He's sad and misunderstood. And it was totally his much younger ex who was the only abusive, alienating factor here.
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Feb 18, 2021 18:24
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Found this great write-up of the first 15 minutes of a horror movie: AITA for not giving into my SIL's insane request over a DOLL!? quote:I was at a thrift store and found a funky doll in the toy section and immediately my mind went to my daughter, because she’s in her doll stage so I thought she’d love it. It’s like a burlap fabric with these shells (like you see on necklaces) and stitches for eyes and yarn for hair. I was right, she loved it and she’s attached to it now. She named it Bob and he wears dresses lol.
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Feb 18, 2021 20:31
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AITA for contacting my half-sister’s ex to ask him to pay back the money from my wedding fund that was used to buy baby things for his child?quote:5 months ago, my half-sister “Amelia” showed up at my parents’ house (I’m currently living with them) and begged our dad to let her stay. She told him she was pregnant and needed help. Amelia hasn’t spoken to anyone in our family, excluding my older brother, since she turned 18, despite this, my dad immediately agreed. "I think this is a win-win situation for everyone," says the rear end in a top hat who very likely revealed her sister's location to an abuser in exchange for wedding money that her father was already planning to replace. From the comments: quote:My brother said she left because he didn't want kids yet and would've made her abort it if he found out. She would've gone to stay with my brother but he's friendly with her ex so that's the first place he would've looked for her. So, he told her to come to our parents' house since her ex wouldn't look for her there. She only came here to use our dad, not because she wanted a relationship with him. quote:There was a lot of yelling and the lawyer made some threats but essentially the conversation went something like this: OP insists that the sister is ok and not being abused because their brother went to visit her (at the rich guy's house) and she said she was fine (probably in front of the rich guy). I also love how OP claims the sister was using their father when OP is the one so upset at a temporary dip in her wedding account that she'd cyberstalk a stranger and go behind her family's back to betray her sister despite clearly not knowing the full story. Like drat, if the brother who was actually friendly with this guy is giving sis tips on how to hide from him, maybe take a loving clue?
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Feb 20, 2021 21:28
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